The Wedding Night 2: The Series
by Sheo Darren
Summary: Sequel to The Wedding Night. Crack crossover fic that started off as a Guilty Gear fic, then diverged wildly. Complete.
1. Prologue please don't delete

_In the wee __midnight__ of November 1, a young Filipino fan fiction writer couldn't sleep…_

**Dream:** Sheo Darren is being plagued with weird daydreams of Kirika Yuumura stalking him relentlessly in order to take Ayanami Rei and Tessa Testarossa away from him.

**Sheo:** Now that was weird.

**Rei: **…

**Tessa:** ???

**Kirika:** _Oro?_

**Bridget:** Can't sleep? Why not write a fan fiction about good ole me?

**Sheo:** Hmm, good idea… evil smile he, he, he…

_… So he decided to pass away the time by writing fan fiction with Bridget and Dizzy and May and a whole lot of insanity…_

**Bridget:** I thought you liked my character? cries in May's arms

**May:** There, there. It's okay. You still have me.

**Sheo:** Sheo bored. Sheo want to write. Sheo want to mess up Bridget's life.

**Mari:** (from Shaman King) Mari thinks he's weird.

**Rei: **…

**Tessa:** ???

**Kirika:** _Oro?_

**Ruri:** Fools.

_November 3: That fan fiction appeared in the Guilty Gear section of fanfiction.net…_

**Sheo: **I wrote all of that?

**May: **You don't remember anything?

**Sheo:** All I can remember was Ayanami Rei, Kirika Yuumura, Bridget, May, Marion Phauna, Ruri and a whole lot of question marks and periods and _oro._

**Sol: **walks in and glares at Sheo You loser. walks out

**Sheo: **… That was quick.

**Rei: **…

**Tessa:** ???

**Kirika:** Oro?

_And with the end of that story comes the first flames ever directed at him…_

**TRUE Unknown:** Well, Kaiser Ryouga II might spare you, MR. Screwy Random Writer.

But as another Bridget/Dizzy enthusiast, I will not be so subtle.

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FANFIC WAS THIS!?

**Sheo:** My first flame review, ever… wow. I like this guy. Too bad he got ZERO punched in the latest chapter of Blackheart ZERO's _The Incredibly Zany Guilty Gear Story…_

**Rei: **…

**Tessa:** ???

**Kirika: **_Oro?_

**Sheo:** …Is that all you girls can say?

**Faust:** WHATTA SAYKO!

**Sheo:** Never mind…

…_and a promise made…_

**Sheo: I promise not to write such insane crap ever again.**

**Sheo:** Did I–

**Chii:** Chii!

**Sheo:** Now,_ Chii, I didn't expect. Oh, well…_

**Black Chii:** Chii!

**Sheo:** …And Black Chii, too…

**Multitudes of Chii:** Chii!

**Sheo: **Uh, oh. Um, Lone Wolf… help…****

_…Promises were made to be broken…_

**Scene: **In a room are Sheo and some fellow fan fiction authors. Namely, Guilty Gear authors Blackheart ZERO, Lone Wolf SIX, Athena Asamiya, Chisaii404 and TRUE Unknown.

**Blackheart ZERO:** Huh? What the–

**Lone Wolf SIX:** Another guest appearance?

**Athena Asamiya:** One moment, I'm in Canada; the next–

**TRUE Unknown:** Not him again…

**Kaiser Ryouga II: **Isn't this the same guy who flamed me?

**Chisaii404:** And the one who misspelled my name.

**Sheo:** Announcement: As of today I'm breaking my promise not to write any more inane stuff. So, I am creating a sequel to The Wedding Night. Anyone not in favor?

**Everyone:** Aye.

**TRUE Unknown:** Especially me!

**PLAPLAMAN: **Hahahahaha, expressing your _hentai_ tendencies again, eh, Sheo? Hahahahahaha!

**Sheo:** …Forget it. I'm going to go for it.

_…So, prepare yourselves for…_

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived and Written by: Sheo Darren

This time written in saner and more comfortable states of mind

Rated PG for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Still no hentai here. Implications, yes. Hentai, no.

First coupling: Ky Kiske x Dizzy. No, TRUE Unknown, I am still not pairing Bridget and Dizzy. Bear with this Mr. Screwy Random Writer (who isn't screwy and definitely isn't random).

Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off.

Dedicated to Jer, Rocky, Jon-Jon, the Guilty Gear/Gundam/Ragnarok Online gang, Daisuke Ishiwatari, May, Bridget, Rei Ayanami, Kirika Yuumura, Tessa Testarossa and all the anime girls I've loved… before…

Please review.


	2. 1 An Unabashedly Bashful Bashing of Ky K...

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived and Written by: Sheo Darren

Unfortunately, the previous weeks saw Sheo lose a lot of sleep. Beware.

Rated PG for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Coupling: **Ky**** Kiske and**** Dizzy. **

Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. He'd like to have Kirika Yuumura and Rei Ayanami and Tessa Testarossa as his girlfriends, though.

"Ah, Kirika-_kun, Rei-_sama___, Tessa-__chan…"_

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc One**

**Loveshorn**** Knight and Angel Wings**

Episode 1: An Unabashedly Bashful Bashing of Ky Kiske

           Ky Kiske –former leader of the Order of Holy Knights, bearer of the Thunderseal and local conservative prude– was not having a good day today. First off, he had been expelled from the police force in a most illogical and incredible development.

(Please see Blackheart ZERO's _The Incredibly Zany Guilty Gear Story: Chapter 11. Some of the following text is lifted directly from the said fan fiction; burn Sheo on the stake for being a parasitical cut & paste scoundrel.)_

           The scene suddenly cuts to an eighteen year old Filipino high school youth wearing glasses and quietly typing on the computer: The newly infamous Sheo Darren himself. He gives the audience a long look. 

"I resent that implication."

Suddenly another person appeared. This guy was older than Sheo and was dressed in a cool all-black pirate costume with skull-and-crossbones mark and all, sans parrot and eye patch: The even more infamous Blackheart ZERO!

**"I told you to fear the ZERO Punch! Apparently your folly must be realized unto you! Now: Prepare to be served!"**

"Excuse me for a moment…"

           Anyway… back to the plagiarized story…

           Despite author foibles, Ky could not accept his circumstances. Was it his fault if he had mistakenly but innocently answered a vague question/pun as how he translated it? How dare they accuse him of being uncultured in cinematography!

(Flashback)

**Police Officer: Say, have you seen 'Jacob's Ladder'?**

**Ky****: Why, did he lose it?**

           And was he not absolutely empowered by law to dispose justice as he deemed it fit? And what was this about incorrect translation? Spelling, man; spelling and diction and definition! Gender, too!

(Flashback again)

**Captain Action: 2. You can't burn someone because you think their a witch!**

**Ky****: For the record, I said he was a 'warlock' or a 'wizard of the evil arts'. Never did I say he was a witch.**

           And to be the victim of injustice that was racism!

(flashback for a third time)

**Captain Action: 3. You're French, and as everyone knows, I am terribly racist.**

**Ky****: By Kliff's beard, not that harping on the French again! That stupid _The Wedding Night was too much!_**

long, silent pause

**Ky**:** Well, at least that last bit wasn't ripped off from Blackheart's story.**

           Why, it had only been two weeks since that damnable Sheo Darren had come out of nowhere and utterly cast his name and reputation into the mud with that humiliation!

Out of nowhere comes an unharmed and alive Sheo, his presence surprising Ky. "I resent that implication."

"Still alive? Whatever happened to Blackheart?"

"Somewhere pleasant; I _am a softie, after all."_

           The scene cuts to show Blackheart suddenly in Canada and inside a very surprised but cutely cute Athena Asamiya's room.

"Blackheart ZERO?! What are you doing here?"

"…This ain't half bad…"

           But enough shameless quoting from other people's works of fan fiction! Ky had many more problems to heap upon himself. For example, he was a handsome young man of only 25 years and very much eligible. Unlike a certain fellow GG fighter who crosses-dresses and those _Sayuki people, and despite the repeated beliefs of numerous fan girls and official art work suggesting that he and Sol were gay, Ky was also manly._

Which is why strolling down a street while there are half a dozen bored hookers hanging out on the sidewalks is a bad idea in his case.

"Well, hello, pretty boy. Got something to do?"

_Mon Dieu…_

Swearing under his breath and not wishing to get mixed up with such company, Ky tried to fend off the advances of these amorous women as best as he could. Unfortunately, the hookers outnumbered him and by virtue –or vice– their 'assets' and 'charm' were starting to eat away at his dignity and resolve. Ky could have used Thunderseal or invoked his power as a police officer, but it's hard to think when there are two pairs of size D, a triple C and three Es, plus a whole lovely set of legs to boot, are catching your attention.

Fortunately, someone came along to our hapless knight's rescue.

Unfortunately, it was the lesser of two evils in his life.

"CRANBERRY!"

Her high-pitched shriek shattering glass for miles away, Jam Cranberry skidded to a stop. "Ky!" Jam's eyes were heart-shaped and droopy as she looked at her object of adoration, but when she glared at the hookers her eyes burned hell fire. "Leave him alone, you grandmothers!"

What followed next is a short but vicious argument/squabble/cat fight that the author will no longer describe because it is pointless and stupid. Suffice it to say that Jam Ga-Sen-Kotsu'ed the competition to the next continent and took home Ky to tend and feed.

Unfortunately (again) Chinese food and Ky had never really reached an agreement.

"Ky! This… is… your meal…"

"NO! NEVER!"

To quote Geese Howard: "Predictable."

           So, today, a very pale and weakly Ky shuffles down the empty street and happened to glance at a pair of youngsters at the fountain: A slightly familiar-looking boy dressed in blue and white, and a even more familiar-looking girl in red. They were very cute and looked only sixteen or fifteen and seemed to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

They also happened to be passionately making out with each other on a bench in a public place.

That blatant but very loving display of affection somehow grated on Ky. He stomped over to the two kids and cleared his throat diplomatically.

They didn't pay him any attention. They just kept on hugging and kissing each other.

Annoyed even more, Ky raised his voice. "Ahem? Excuse me? But don't you notice someone is standing in front of you and is not very happy with what you're doing at such a place and time and age?"

The loving couple still didn't pay him any attention.

"Do you have no shame at all? You are mere children and yet you act like you are– you are–"

The girl's right hand stopped ruffling the boy's hair long enough to flick Ky a dirty finger. Then they went on making out.

The knight blinked in shock at the obscene hand sign he had been flashed just a moment ago. It took a few more seconds for his brain to register that.

"YOU LITTLE–"

It should be said that Ky tried to make a grab for the girl. That is, 'tried' is the operative word: Before his hands could even get within half a foot of her, a Pacific bottlenose dolphin came out of nowhere and rammed Ky in the guts with the force of a rocket.

"Oof!"

If that weren't enough, the dolphin was followed by a giant teddy bear, a massive black-and-white killer whale, an even more humongous pink whale, about a dozen or so pirate girls, one big red mech, a cat and the old fat cook.

"Please insert French exclamations of pain here, Sheo being unfamiliar with the language!"

Everything went black.

            "Is he still alive?"

"What a stupid way to end the first segment."

**"I heard that."**

When Ky regained consciousness, he felt quite a bit flat. There were two faces looking at him from above: The girl and the boy from earlier.

"Oh." The girl smirked at him. "It's the cop."

"That's disrespectful, May," scolded her companion. "He's an officer of the law and with rank. We should respect his person."

"And you using your Overdrive move on him were the height of gentility? Bridget, I bow down to your great reasoning."

"Both your whales are bigger than Roger by 10 times. And you added an Instant Kill Move, too. You figure."

_May_? The name clicked in Ky's mind. "You're the– the Jellyfish– pirate…"

"Actually," corrected May, "The Jellyfish Pirate is Johnny."

Wincing, Ky tried to stand up. His body did not respond to his mental commands.

"Oh, you'll be numb for about a couple more hours," May's blonde boyfriend said. "That was two whales, a dolphin, a grizzly bear and her whole posse, after all."

His voice seemed familiar but Ky could not place his face. "Who are you?"

The boy grinned. "I'm Bridget."

Ky stared at him for a long moment. Then the Frenchman shot up to his feet and half a dozen feet away from the boy.

"Back up so quickly?" May was impressed.

Bridget grinned sneakily. "Gets them every time."

"You're not Bridget!" Ky's finger stabbed at the direction of the grinning kids. "You don't look like her– err, him!"

Indeed. Though his clothes still followed the old blue-white color configuration and giant handcuff, Bridget was decked up in cool and _manly_ gear. In fact, he now looked like a real boy, with his short hair cut a la Quatre Winner–

"Hey, Sheo!" Bridget protested to seemingly thin air. "Couldn't you give me a better hairstyle?"

A voice from above answered him. **"Sorry, Bridget-_kun. But PLAPLAMAN and S.T. say that if you get your hair cut, you'd look exactly like Quatre. Besides, the girls dig your new hairdo and looks."_**

To prove that point, a group of girls randomly passing them by giggled and waved at Bridget, who blushed and waved back. Aside, May pouted jealously, fastening herself on her boyfriend's arm to get his attention.

"And just _what are you looking at, Mr. Bridget?"_

"But, May, I was just saying hi…"

"Right. Well, why don't you say 'hi' to me?"

"Uh–hi, May?"

Seeing Bridget all manly and the object of adoration of girls, Ky became… envious. Well, who wouldn't be?

But more importantly, Ky realized something was wrong with him. He realized he was empty inside. All his hard work as a Holy Knight and a police officer were nothing; all his accomplishments and endeavors meant nothing.

Ky Kiske was a nothing.

(But we all knew that already, didn't we?)

Bridget and May were startled by Ky's sudden scream. They watched the poor man run down the street, sobbing all the way.

"Now what did you tell that poor man?"

"Me? I'm not the one who looks like Quatre Winner."

"Stop calling me that."

The first opening theme of Gundam Wing –Just Communication– began to play very loudly.

           Nothing stopped Ky from his escape. Not even passing Venom, Eddie and the surviving Assassin Guildsmen –all wanted and dangerous criminals– attacking Millia and causing huge damage to the surroundings stopped him.

Not even Zappa and his ghosts causing mayhem down Fourth Avenue: Disturbance of public peace and holding an event without the required permit, both major breaches of the law.

Not even his worst archnemesis and the person he hated the most in the entire world standing there in the shade of a tree, peacefully having a Marlboro and not giving a damn about the world and God, could–

_Wait a minute!_

Ky skidded to a stop and turned around.

"SOL!"'

Sol Badguy –bounty hunter, Guilty Gear and all-around American bad guy– lifted his head to glance at the angry Frenchman in front of him. He smirked nastily through the smoke of his cigarette. _Well, if it isn't the boy_, he thought, not shifting his posture at all.

Ky, meanwhile, was ranting again about justice, how he and Sol were now truly enemies, how the latter should return the _Fuenken he stole or else suffer the lawful consequences, and a challenge to stand up and fight._

With a long puff on his Marlboro, Sol straightened up. Ky got into his battle pose and prepared for a fight.

To his surprise, Sol very reluctantly turned around and began to walk away.

"Hey! Don't turn your back on me!"

Still Sol walked away.

Ky chased after him. "Damn it, Sol! Stand up and fight!"

Surprisingly, Sol spared his rival a glance. The Guilty Gear looked very annoyed, even a trifle –unhappy?

"Better get out of here now, Kiske," he muttered, looking around the landscape a bit cautiously. "You wouldn't want to be seen with me, trust me."

Ky's jaw dropped wide at this sort of remark. "Eh? What is this?"

"Go away. Now. Hurry." The gaze took on a slightly frantic edge.

"Explain yourself! I don't have all day to bandy guesswork with you!"

Sol rolled his eyes in exasperation and –despair? "You asked for it."

The cry that resounded from all around, startling Ky and making Sol **cringe…**

…was from a newly-arrived teenage girl, leanly lithe and buxomly cute, with flowing flame red hair and brightly contrasting cheerful blue eyes and decked up in a very tight-fitting leotard/shirt/short pants plus sneakers, a pair of big weird bracelets and a huge grin.

"SOL-CHAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!!!"

To Ky's unending shock, the girl dropped all the shopping bags she carried –lots of them; women seem to have it in their blood to shop-'til-you-drop– and threw herself onto Sol to **glomp him.**

"Miss me, Mister Badguy? Huh? I bet you did!"

Rolling his eyes again, Sol half-heartedly tried to unfasten the leech-like girl who was bubbling in delight over him. "Get off me."

"Not until you admit how much you missed me!"

Sol gritted his teeth and kept himself from reaching for _Fuenken and inevitably starting a fight in the town that would burn it down to cinders. Not with Ky; with the girl. He didn't fear the Frenchman, and he certainly wasn't afraid of Justine Harrier, but starting a fight with the redhead adventurer/clone of You-Know-You-By-Virtue-Of-Her-Hair-And-Name-And-Moves could possible lead to very adverse circumstances for all bystanders._

Naturally, Sol just hated whatever little conscience his creator and alter ego Frederick had left him.

Instead, he forced himself to mutter: "Yeah, yeah, I missed you," his tone dripping with sarcasm but slightly –truthful?

The girl named Justine grinned. "Aw, I just love you so much, Freddie."

Sol's eyes flashed. "Don't call me that."

"So sorry." No hint of repentance in the girl's smiling face; Justine meant that remark.

Ky had had enough of loving events for the day. "This is all too sweet of you two," he growled at Sol, "But aren't we supposed to fight?"

"Fight?" the girl asked quizzically.

Sol smacked his forehead with his free hand. "Shit. Here we go."

"That man is a criminal who stole an artifact of the United Naions!"

"Oh, you mean _Fuenken?" Justine's smile took on more of Sol's smirk. "Freddie's got every right to it: He made it, after all."_

That got Ky confused. "Eh

Sol sighed deeply. "Kiske, get out of here. Trust me."

"Hey, Sol-chan! Tell this guy the Fireseal's yours!"

"No."

"Hey, isn't that Thunderseal? You made that, too, right? _You should take it back from __him!"_

Ky had enough of this. "Never mind! I'm arresting the both of you! Come along quietly or I will use force!"

Sol looked very chagrined now and was not bothering to hide it. "Kiske, for the last time–"

"You want a fight?" Justine asked, all doe-like in innocence –but emitting just a tiny fraction of some hidden sort of immense menace.

"YES!" Ky howled. Finally, someone understood him perfectly…

"Your funeral," Sol grimly muttered.

Letting go of her beloved–

            There was an abrupt and violent change in scenery, showing an outraged Sol Badguy stomping over to Sheo Darren, the latter typing quietly on his computer. Sol looked positively murderous while Sheo calmly sipped his mug of ice chocolate.

"I am so gonna kick your ass, Sheo!"

"Behave yourself."

There was a torrent of uncouth swearwords that only Americans could dish out so poisonously. "Why did you pair me up with that _ditz_!"

"This will not be the first time."

"You mean to say there's a serious story behind that _twit_?"

**"To be revealed in good time."**

There was yet another torrent of bad language from Sol as he raised _Fuenken, obviously intending something violent._

"Behave," quietly scolded Sheo. "Go and drink tea with Koneko-_chan and Yumiko-__kun like a civilized person._

To Sol's surprise, the Guilty Gear found himself sitting at a table quietly and being very civilized in drinking tea the way the British and Japanese did, while Seras Victoria and Yumiko chatted gaily from across the table as Tomoyo Daidouji served them tea.

"I hate you," glowered Sol.

"The power of the Word," smiled Sheo. "Works like a charm.

           ** "As I was saying…"**

            Letting go of her beloved, Justine gave Ky an engaging smile. "I seem to remember you from a previous lifetime and fan fiction." She put on a pensive look. "Where have I seen you the last time?"

"Are we going to fight?"

Ignoring him, Justine turned to Sol. "Hey, Sol-_chan_!"

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, Freddie. What's this guy's name again?"

"My name is Ky," proudly pronounced the knight. "Ky Kiske. Former leader of the Order of Holy Knights, former captain of the UN Police forces, bearer of the Thunderseal and–"

Justine snapped her fingers as the memory clicked inside her mind. "Now I remember you!"

"I do not remember meeting you before."

"I do." Grinning menacingly, Justine suddenly glowed with an evil red aura, floating a few inches over the ground, her long red hair–

Ky started._ Red hair? Evil aura? Floating a few inches over the ground?_

A raspy and all too familiar voice spoke, a voice dreaded a hundred years and more into the past and even just recently.

It came from Justine.

It also happened to be **Justice's voice.**

**"What is Justice?"**

Ky screamed.

           Dizzy was going back to the Mayship, her arms laden with groceries and she herself humming a happy tune–

-When she came upon a battered mass of white, blue, and blonde.

Whatever or whoever it was, it or he was still smoking and irradiated from getting hit by a reality progression sword in the form of a halo, a rapid barrage of exploding high-energy laser feathers, a massive blast of concentrated solar-charged gamma particles, and then detonated in 'Gundam last space battle'-style pyrotechnics. Simply put, the person was barely alive.

He also happened to be Ky Kiske.

Pity was one of Dizzy's strong points. "Oh, poor man," she said as she knelt by the unconscious man side. "He's badly hurt."

"An understatement," Lone Wolf SIX said as he passed by.

"Exactly," Hibiki Takane added.

"I'd better bring him somewhere safe." So saying, Dizzy conjured an ice sled pulled by ice reindeer, put Ky in it and trudged home towards the Mayship.

The scene once more cuts back to Sheo, who is still quietly typing his story while looking over his back every now and then. He gives the readers a long look.

"What? I guess that since she can form ice demons and Artic Impalers, Dizzy making an ice sled and ice reindeer is logical. Besides, the Christmas season is coming. Have a heart."

"A cameo appearance?" asked Lone Wolf, who also happened to be there with Hibiki.

**"You'll get a better one in the next chapter."**

"Why am I with Lone Wolf-_san, Sheo-__san?" Hibiki curiously posed._

Sheo's spectacles gleamed.** "**Why do _you think?"_

Lone Wolf and Hibiki blushed.

Yuuki –known in the previous _The Wedding Night_ as That Girl– is seated in her dark headquarters room, dressed up in black coat and orange-tinted glasses, her white-gloved hands clasped lightly together in front of her. Above her is a very large Sephirothic System painted in red. On her left side is I-Nou, looking very out of character in a white laboratory gown and a blue swimsuit underneath, her hair dyed blonde and eyes framed by spectacles that look so unlike her and an artificial mole below her left eye. On the right side is Raven dressed up in a dark military-like uniform, his hair dyed gray and looking much older than he really is.

"This is so stupid," I-Nou muttered.

"Quiet." That was Raven, none too happy himself.

"What? This swimsuit is far too skimpy for me!"

"And _you're complaining about _that_?"_

"It's too small! My wearing it is like The Big O fitting inside the Mother Vanguard!"

"For your information, Daitarn 3 fits inside Mother Vanguard, and Daitarn is bigger than The Big O. And they can fit all those other Super Robots and Real Robots inside, too."

"This is Guilty Gear, not Super Robot Wars! And do I look like Ikari's pillow-mate?"

"This is so unlike you, I-Nou. Where was the overly sensual and flirty woman who liked to flaunt her assets and make up with every man she met?"

"Shut up."

"I bet Millia never got that from you."

"Do you want to keep your two heads, or would you like one to get accidentally lost?"

Yuuki coughed, which silenced her minions. "If you're wondering why this scene is here and why the hell we're ripping off Evangelion, it's because the first chapter is finished and Sheo wants everything wrapped up. But as he is currently busy trying to attend to the needs of his 'harem'–" the word 'harem' pronounced with a slight smile…

**"I heard that."**

"But you would not obliterate me, would you, almighty author?" Yuuki was almost pleadingly cute. "I'm your greatest creation; the most silly translation of a person hidden in the darkness with only the face and the glasses seen."

**"Just get it done with. I'm busy."**

"Who is it now, if I may ask?"

**"One: It's none of your business. Two: It's not what you think, you closet pervert. Three: It's Kirika and Tessa and Rei."**

"Ooh, threesome? You're getting more daring, Sheo."

**"Why did I ever implement free will in my creations?" There is a massive disconcerted grumbling from above. **"Just get _'Sheo's Notes'_ done, all right?"****

Smiling, Yuuki tipped her glasses and took out a thick ream of paper.

"Well, first things first: Sheo Darren does not own any of the things he's ripped off here."

**"I already said that earlier."**

"I'm just expanding on that. The quotes so brazenly plagiarized from the first part are from the great Blackheart ZERO's fan fiction _The Incredibly Zany Guilty Gear Story, which Sheo advises his readers to read as it is very funny. He stands in perpetual awe of Blackheart ZERO and fears the ZERO punch, though he will not relate how he escaped that attack._

"Next: Lone Wolf SIX is a fellow GG writer dragged into this mess. Sheo wishes his immense thanks and admiration to be conveyed to Lone Wolf, and he hopes he likes his pairing well.

"Third," Yuuki said, nudging her glasses up a bit, "Athena Asamiya is another writer whose good name and identity Sheo had blatantly used. Sheo expresses his immense gratitude to her for having helped unintentionally in technical matters that pertain to the proper publication of his fan fiction in fanfiction.net.

"Basically, Sheo does not own those three people. He admires them and looks up to them –in his own twisted way–"

**"Get to the point."**

"Listening, huh? Well, Sheo promises more fulfilling and defined roles for you and other writers he may decide to include, such as TRUE Unknown, Kaiser Ryouga II (Sheo also pleads: _Please spare May!!!) and Chisaii404._

"In relation to the last mentioned writer, Sheo begs Chisaii404 to forgive him for having misspelled her name, promising to construct many temple pavilions and pyramids in her name as an apology and penance. Silly boy."

**"You were saying?"**

"Proceeding to the next point, about the author-created character that appears in this story; namely, Justine Harrier. If the readers have not yet identified who she is supposed to be –more precisely, whose clone she's supposed to be– Sheo plans a more serious story to tackle that in detail."

**"Good."**

"Weren't you doing something with Kirika and Tessa and Rei?"

Silence. Yuuki smiles.

"Finally, Sheo wishes to express his thanks for all the people who actually choose to use their precious time in reading and reviewing his fan fiction, even to those who chose to flame him. He claims he gets such a cuddly feeling inside of him whenever he sees he's got a review in his e-mail bin, and that feeling multiplies like Gremlins in the rain when he reads the e-mail itself. He prays you to send him reviews concerning this chapter and thanks you for your support and admiration."

Stretching her arms out fully, Yuuki yawned. "That's all, folks. Until the next time: Please read and review."

"Wanna play Eternal Fighters Zero?" Raven was asking I-Nou.

In the darkness, a box sits alone. Evil eyes glare evilly out of one side.

**"I need more sleep…"**


	3. 2 Staying Alive, Staying Alive

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived and Written by: Sheo Darren

Once more: Sheo needs more sleep. Somehow sleeping in bed with half a dozen Kirika, Tessa and Rei plush toys isn't the same as the real girls tangled up in your arms. Awwww.

Rated PG for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Coupling: **Ky**** Kiske and**** Dizzy. **

Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. He is, however, open to the idea of using his name and person and even his created characters in other stories, so long as 1) they portrayed accurately and within character, 2) the max rating is PG and 3) they doesn't participate or is connected to anything concerning _hentaior _ecchi_ or __perversion. He's even open to getting ZERO punched. Just pair him up with Kirika, Tessa and/or Rei and he'll be very happy to soak up all the abuse._

Wait a minute. Lone Wolf SIX had done it already. Aw.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc One**

**Loveshorn**** Knight and Angel Wings**

Episode 2: Staying Alive, Staying Alive…

           Johnny did not like the idea of keeping Ky on the Mayship for a while. In fact, he objected to Ky being kept on the Mayship for any while; he objected to the _idea of keeping Ky on the Mayship, and he objected to Ky himself._

"Dizzy, he's a cop. Cops and pirates are enemies… well, actually, navy and pirates are enemy, but we're 'buccaneers' too who 'liberate' wealth from the rich to give to the poor –ourselves– and cops chase after us, too. He'd arrest us if he can."

All the Jellyfish girls were nodding in agreement. After all, Johnny _was_ the captain.

The only exception –and a very odd one it was– was May, who was being very affectionate to Bridget at the moment and the latter returning her advances in kind.

"Besides, Dizzy: He's a _boy. If he were a puppy, I guess you can keep him–" a vicious hiss from the Pirates' cat, a temperamental little fiend it was; "–okay, maybe not. As a rule I never take in boys; they're too sneaky, stinky, smelly, naughty and definitely _not_ cute and sexy."_

More nods to that effect. None of the girls ever thought to think over the last four words.

"So, for the last time, no, we can't keep him, and you'd better not give me those 'Bambi Eyes' of yours because my decision is–"

Johnny cut off his speech when he saw Dizzy staring at him with big, droopy doe eyes which seemed on the brink of a major waterfall of tears: The infamously effectively irresistible 'Bambi Eyes' effect.

Mentally the pirate lord was trying very hard not to succumb: _No, must be firm, must present a strong image to the girls, I can't let Bambi Eyes defeat me…_

Dizzy's eyes grew even more droopy and sad (if that were possible). The Jellyfish girls were turning into envious little green monsters.

Sighing deeply and acknowledging defeat, Johnny shrugged his shoulders handsomely. "Okay, fine, I'll make an exception. You take care of him and make sure he doesn't get into trouble, okay?"

"Yay! Thanks, Johnny!" The very happy Dizzy threw her arms around Johnny for a big hug.

Johnny didn't think the hug was half-bad –please see _Chobits__ Episode 1, Hideki's thoughts on Chii hugging him, especially concerning a certain part of hers in contact with him–…_

…until he saw all the jealous and angry looks on the Jellyfish girls, who were totally envious that Dizzy got to hug him _and_ get her way done.

"Uh, oh."

All the while, May and Quatre didn't notice, they being so busy making out with each other–

Bridget stopped necking May long enough to glare at the sky. "You never stop hammering at that point of mine, do you?"

The deafening music of the second opening theme of Gundam Wing –Rhythm Emotion– made everyone jump.

"You're drunk."

The voice from above laughed. **"No, but I didn't get enough sleep again! Beware!"**

"Never mind…"

           During his convalescence and stay at the Mayship, Ky went through quite a number of incidents, all of which added to his experience of the utterly odd and inane.

First off was a general strike by the Jellyfish girls. Led by April, this faction (which had every girl on the ship except for Dizzy and May) demanded that Ky be expelled from the ship at once– or else. Badly outnumbered, Johnny managed to stabilize the situation by convincing Quatre–

"Will you stop that?"

**"Just making sure if you were paying attention…"**

–anyway, Johnny convinced Bridget to bring his brother Jack over for a while. April instantly dropped everything she was doing to, stomped over to Jack, and–

"Hey, April's fool! How're you doing, old loser?"

"_KISAMAAAAAA!!!__ OMAE WO KOROSU!!!"_

In a matter of moments Jack and April were fighting in the air above the Mayship, Jack's Daitarn 3 against April in The Big Fau. With two almighty Super Robots slugging it out in the sky, all the airborne traffic was hastily getting out of the way while sky sheriffs were screaming for back-up– the Mazinkaiser kind.

Big sweat drops were on May, Bridget and Johnny, who were watching the impromptu battle.

"Maybe bringing my brother along wasn't a good idea…"

"Wow. I wish I had one of those."

"Where did they get those things?"

"DAITARN HAMMER!"

**"Wondering what that was all about?" the voice of Sheo Darren interjected all of a sudden. ****"That story will have a chapter of its own later in this same series."**

Deprived of their leader, the still formidable but unorganized girls were forced to accept Ky's presence on the Mayship. Any hard feelings were assuaged by a marked increase of their allowances, a painful compromise by Johnny.

"Damn you," the last muttered under his breath at the sky.

**"I heard that."**

           Having failed to get Ky booted off the ship through people power, next came a wave of ill-meant and even more ill-prepared attempts to eliminate him: Namely, by assassination.

The first inkling Ky had that all was not well was when Dizzy gave him a dinner June –one of the pirate girls– made for him. The smell alone told the Frenchman that the 'meal' was laced with extremely generous servings of spicy stuff. After thanking Dizzy immensely and telling her to convey his appreciation to June, Ky secretly dumped the dish out the window… as the ship passed over Lake Baikal in Russia…

The next day, everyone was watching the news about the mysterious circumstances that turned Lake Baikal into a virtual Saharan desert.

"…And the only evidence of unnatural work here is a plate found in the middle of what was once the lake's deepest portion." The reporter held up the said plate.

"That looks like one of our plates, Johnny," Dizzy said.

"How on earth did it end up there?"

Aside, June aimed a poisonous glare at Ky.

"The next time…"

           For the next week, Ky had to dodge ever increasing and brazen 'assassination' attempts. After he began to dump all the food he received out the porthole or flushed them, the girls changed their tactics. They would set accidents to happen just as Ky passed by –an old grandfather clock would fall on him, or a mechanical cuckoo bird would dive-bomb him, or how on earth did I drop that pitcher of hot chocolate on–

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Meanwhile, April and Jack were engaged in a hotly contested duel over the PC console: Eternal Fighters Zero (Dark Moon Sequel).

"This time… you'll lose!"

"Says you!"

"Oh, yeah? Take this: Reppuken!"

"Roman Cancel, then Volcanic Viper!"

"Recovery, then Super Heat… God Finger!"

"Summon my Striker, the scooter girl from hell!"

Don't ask. Don't tell.

           Due his self-imposed fast, Ky was gradually growing thinner and weaker. Kind soul that she was, Dizzy took it upon herself to cook him some food that wasn't poisoned or anything.

Unfortunately, the well-meaning girl was not adept at cooking. In fact, 'not adept' was too kind a phrase. Disastrously calamitous would be better apt.

After twice burning the kitchen –and nearly setting fire to the entire ship itself–, numerous failures and quite a number of frustrated attempts by the cook to get rid of her, Dizzy managed to conjure a meal that wasn't burnt or mutilated.

Unfortunately again, she had gotten the recipe from a certain aspiring blue-haired martial artist girl who lived in Furinken and who also happened to be, at best, an unintentionally expert poisoner.

"Thank you for the recipe, Tendou-_kun._ It helped a lot. But I wonder why Mister Ky got very sick afterwards… what do you think, Akane?"

"Don't worry too much. I'm sure it's not life threatening."

"Okay…"

While recovering from that near-fatal bout of food poisoning, Ky was wondering what was worse: Jam's Chinese cuisine, or Dizzy's preparations.

"Oh, brother…"

           To add to his misery, Necro had never liked Ky.

Of course Necro had never liked anyone save Dizzy and Testament and Zio –the last for reasons that are so obvious. But setting aside the fact that the ethereal succubus _was_ undeniably a very sexy and well-endowed vixen (or at least in her human mode and so suggested in _Do It And Die_), Necro had never exactly gotten along well with anyone else outside the previously mentioned trio.

Psychotic, prone to overkill and the kind of paranoid the Russians would recognize as one of their own, Necro was dangerous. Being a System Wing accounting for much of Dizzy's firepower –Gamma Ray, anyone?– made him even more menacing.

Now how was Necro prevented from incinerating Ky in the many times they met? After all, Ky _did_ go after Dizzy once. And Necro is not one to forget people like that. See how long he kept a grudge on Sol?

"Mister Hakkai, are you sure this is really necessary?"

"Listen, doll: Either we slap all these warding artifacts on your rabid old wing here and keep him behaved, or we let him be and he fries your boyfriend."

Dizzy blushed. "Ky's not my boyfriend. He's a boy and he's a friend, but he's not my boyfriend."

"At least you get mostly straight pairings. Me, I'm stuck with my threesome buddies. Damn _yaoi-loving fan girls and the people who make fortunes on those damn drives of theirs. Why can't someone do a straight one with me once in a while?"_

"You mean you aren't gay?" This was posed by May, who looked very much the doubting Thomas.

Cho Hakkai glared at the pirate girl. He so wanted to say, _Stupid brat, but the thought of getting hit by May's impressive menagerie of chi animal summons and that oversized anchor of hers gave him pause._

Aside, Bridget was trying to stifle his laughter: "This from the guy who killed off a lot of demons and most of Heaven's army."

"Shut up, Quatre."

"…Forget it. Waste of energy."

**"Now you know."**

           And there was Undine.

No, she was not as violently inclined as her brethren wing. More open to the idea of peaceful coexistence with other intelligent beings, Undine was pretty laid-back and friendly compared to Necro. She was suspicious of Ky, but all guardians are like that: Never trust the boy your daughter is going out with.

Yes, the author made a mistake with _The Wedding Night_. Undine should not have been so mindlessly violent like that. Sheo Darren was really such a nut, going off like that in the wee hours of the new day, scared stiff of Filipino undead, when like PLAPLAMAN said he was really a–

           Sheo Darren cleared his throat diplomatically and tapped his foot thrice in impatience. "Are you finished?"

From where she sat typing at her creator's recently-restored P4 computer, Yuuki tipped her glasses as she grinned unrepentantly. "_Hai__, _Shishou_; I'm just adding accurate historical context to the script so people would know the truth. Plus, I didn't know you had so many pictures of Rei Ayanami in your old shared files…"_

"How would you like to be grounded?"

"You wouldn't do that, would you?"

"Out. Get out."

Having done irreparable damage, Yuuki scurried out of the room, leaving behind the tease, "And that picture of Rei in her birthday suit was real cute, too!"

"Don't come back here again, ingrate! And I don't have a picture of Rei in her birthday suit, _sukebe_! I have two of her in a bikini and four in a swimsuit and three dozen in different costumes and a hundred or so in her _fuku uniform!"_

Grumbling under his breath for giving his creations free will –especially an annoying little twit of a joke on That Man that he was beginning to sharply regret creating–, Sheo wondered if he should offer to exchange Yuuki for another author's created character. Blackheart ZERO's creation Jack seemed okay, but Sheo already had one Jack, and two Jacks is one Jack too much. Hikki (Lone Wolf SIX's creation) looked like Jam, unfortunately, and Sheo didn't like Jam a whole lot so slash that, too.

And Sheo definitely was not interested in any of the super-powered Ranma versions overrunning the multiverse by the hundreds. Shou Tsuzuku's creation was bad enough with Shadow Skill and Open Skill and souma and Yin Skill and the works; God Ranma from _Just Won't Die was out of the question!_

"Looks like I'll have to put up with that pest for a while." Sheo set his glasses properly upon his nose before typing again…

Undine. Yes. Her.

No problem with hostility here, except where Johnny was involved. The Pirate Lord was the only person she regularly attacked.

"Undine, why did you attack Johnny? He wasn't doing anything…"

"He was ogling me! He just wouldn't stop staring at my chest!"

A long pause on Dizzy's part: "Is that bad?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"Why? Um, because… because… because it's bad?"

"Why?"

"Err, it's…. bad because… it's just like that…"

"Why?"

"…"

"Chii!"

Aside, tons of _hentai_ fan fiction writers were planning to take advantage of Dizzy's naiveté and pairing her up with Chii and Black Chii. But then Kaiser Ryouga II shows up for his two cents worth of cameo exposure, shooting Force lightning bolts from his hands and electrocuting the evil writers to dust.

"Hah! Die, lower-level misbegotten second-rate writers! Only I can write stories like that with impunity and skill!"

**"What took you so long?" Sheo's impatient voice chided over from the sky.**

"I got lost," Kaiser Ryouga said off-handedly as way of explanation.

**"Oh. And one last thing…"**

"Yeah, yeah: Spare May, please."

**"Thank you."**

            Chisaii404 looks up from where she's comfortably seated on a divan reading a book and eating grapes.

"This is a very, very silly story."

           Meanwhile, April and Johnny had an interesting conversation.

"Johnny, Undine is Dizzy's wing! She's not human; she doesn't even have a lower half! Why on earth would you try to pick her up?"

"Why would Johnny try to pick _you up?" jeered Jack from the side._

"That's it!" April takes out her sacred silver whip and crucifix and attacks Jack, who's now wearing a black cape and Boris Karloff nightdress. The two face off in a dramatic scene.

"Die, loser twin brother to a _bishie__ cross-dresser!" April was in a vampire hunter mood a la Richter. "You do not belong on the Mayship!"_

Jack smiled his fanged Dracula smile. "It was not by **my** will that I came here. I was called forth by **Sheo, who wished to make ****you look silly."**

"**Silly? You steal precious server bandwidth, and take it for yourself!"**

"Perhaps the same can be said for **all fan fiction."**

"Your words are as empty as your appearances in the game. _The Wedding Night 2_ ill needs a side character like you! (who's never shown in the game and whose existence is only given token allusion to in the story, anyway, unlike me who gets to appear once in a while in my buddy's victory sequence)"

"What is _The Wedding Night 2?" Suddenly Jack is seated on a throne made up of papier-mâché skulls, holding a glass of wine which he throws to the ground with a _CLINK!_ "Nothing but a miserable pile of puns, jokes, quotes, rip-offs, cameos, crossovers, insane twists and turns, malefactions against fellow authors…"_

He goes on for about an hour of this rant while April waits, annoyed and impatient and getting angrier by the second, for his spiel to end.

"…Not to mention the appearance of a side character like you, who's actually lesbian and digs the lead _bishie__ girl of this current arc __and your __bishie__ best friend _and_ the captain of the ship _and_ my _bishie___ cross-dresser brother __but hates me, a normal guy who's quite nice to people but since you're not a person–"_

"I'm not lesbian. So, are we going to fight, or not?"

"–But enough talk! **HAVE AT YOU!"**

Johnny looked at the two kids ripping off Castlevania like crazy, shakes his head, and wonders if Millia's free for tonight. "I need to get laid…"

           The long-suffering Ky had locked himself up in his room to get a semblance of peace and quiet. As the poor Frenchman was trying to console himself that he only had a few days more of this to endure, a noise in the room caught his attention. Thunderseal in hand, a weakened but battle-ready Ky spun around to face this new menace–

Yumi Omura, Takako Shimizu and Chitose Hibiya all smiled at him. "Hello, Ky-_chan_."

"What? Who are you? What are you doing here?"

Then Ky noticed that the girls were all dressed in lingerie. The really hot and racy type people only dreamed of. He immediately suffered the reaction of any fan boy confronted with such a dreamed-off scene: A nosebleed.

Ky couldn't get out; he'd locked the door. The girls surrounded him and, in a manner exactly like the way Unit-01 tried to convince the equally spineless Shinji Ikari to merge with it and forever have Misato and Asuka and a third girl (the last girl in question being a favorite of the author, her good name will therefore not be dragged into this part).

Yumi leaned on his back and whispered in his ear the most delectable words all guys with manly inhibitions and healthy libidos in the world just want to hear:

"Do me."

Ky fainted.

           …And woke up to find himself in his bed, having just suffered a 'you-know-what'.

"Damn," Ky growled as he checked under his bed sheets just to make sure. Yes, it had happened to him. He cursed in French (the language is very fun when it comes to bad words): "Why now, of all times!"

"What 'why', Mister Ky?"

Ky rocketed off his bed and came crashing down. He stared wildly at Dizzy, who looked back at him in worry and puzzlement.

"Is something wrong?"

Blushing badly, Ky began to go into panic mode a la Hideki. "No, no, no, no! Nothing's wrong! I'm okay, fine, whatever…"

"Are you sure you're okay, Mister Ky?"

"Yes!"

"You were moaning and twisting in your sleep. Is that normal?"

"Oh, yes, yes!" Ky was blushing madly, cursing Sheo for having come up with the idea to rip off _Chobits. "But I got to sleep well: I'm full of energy now!"_

Dizzy pointed to Ky's pants. There was just so much naïve Chii-ness in the way the half Gear girl innocently asked:

"Even there, full of energy?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The spectacularly loud explosion managed to wake the two people sleeping in the king-sized bed in the neighboring room.

Grumbling to himself, a drowsy Bridget sat up out from underneath the bed sheets and rubbed at his still-sleepy eyes. "Bloody hell, what is it now?"

Beside him, the equally irritated May turned over in bed, trying to wage a losing battle to stay asleep. The next explosion defeated her efforts and woke her up completely.

"April, for the last time, stop it! If you're going to kill Jack, then kill him, fine! Just don't disturb the people who want so sleep or sink the whole damn ship with him!"

"May, Johnny sent April and Jack off the Mayship, remember? They're off killing each other somewhere far away and safe enough."

"Then who the bloody hell is making that entire racket, Quatre?"

"Don't call me Quatre!"

"I'll call Quatre anyone I want to call Quatre, Quatre!"

"Oh, yeah, brat?"

"Yeah, Quatre!"

The two began tussling underneath the covers of their bed, whacking each other with pillows which degenerated into the usual lover's quarrel which degenerated into kissing and stuff that the author will no longer describe as he's too bored and the entire story being PG and all, him being too sleepy…

            "You mean to say no one's going to check those noises?"

Tessa Testarossa looked askance at her closest and most adored male 'friend'. "Sheo, you can't just leave the story hanging like that!"

Beside her, Rei Ayanami and Kirika Yuumura were quietly supporting their silver-haired colleague. Before them was a noticeably sleep-deprived Sheo, who was bone-tired from chasing Yuuki away from the computer he was using, only to find out that the modifications That Girl had made were irreversible. He had never been really good at tech maintenance.

"I want to sleep. My dad woke me up in the middle of the night, and now I can't sleep regularly again. Please, girls, just give me this?"

The three girls all looked at Sheo. Bambi-Eyes were not needed. Their combined charms worked well enough when they didn't force it, even more so when they did.

"Okay, okay… I'll see who I can lift…"

            Lone Wolf SIX, Hibiki Takane, Blackheart ZERO, Athena Asamiya, TRUE Unknown, Kaiser Ryouga II and Chisaii404 were not surprised to find themselves in the same corridor of the Mayship all of a sudden, walking towards the room where all the explosions were coming from.

"So, Athena, what do you think about this entire premise?"

"Well, if you ask me, Blackheart, it's arguably very silly…"

"I hope he doesn't misspell my name again…"

"I wonder how I'll portray I-Nou in the next chapter…"

"Lone Wolf-_san, I thought we were going to the hospital?" (see Chapter 16: Guilty Gear v.s. SNK)_

"Yeah, but Sheo healed all your injuries just now, so you're okay now."

"_Arigatou__, Darren-__sama."_

**"You're welcome."**

"You sure there's no real danger here?" That was True Unknown, who was apprehensive and for a good reason.

**"Well, technically, it is dangerous…"**

Everyone looked worried all of a sudden.

**"…but don't worry. Nothing bad will ever happen."**

"And what are your assurances about that?"

Sheo appeared in front of them briefly, leaning against the wall and grimacing as he blushed a bit. "Well, Tessa got Kirika and Rei to agree not giving me that massage they promised me the last time if I mess up. Is that assurance enough?"

Everyone stared at Sheo, who blushed some more and began to fidget with his glasses.

"Well, how could I resist? I'm a guy, they're three cute girls I like, they massage pretty well, and I deserve some relaxation! I'm beat up and all from the exams. I _need fun! I need _them_!"_

"Right," everyone said disapprovingly.

Insane laughter echoes across the corridors as Ebs (a.k.a. the PLAPLAMAN) races to them, points at Sheo, cackles, "Expressing your _hentai__ tendencies again, Sheo?", laughs some more, yells, "Fear the Box!" and runs away._

Everyone paused to stare at the escaping PLAPLAMAN, then look at Sheo who fidgets some more.

"Sheo, you need a better choice in friends."

"What was that all about?"

"Weird."

"Box? What box?"

"Darren_-sama, are you really a–"___

"_S-Shigau! That's ridiculous, Hibiki!__"_

"He's blushing."

"Guilty as charged."

            "Augh! Help! (various French words calling for help)!"

Dodge! Duck! Roman Cancel! Burst! Fortress Block!

"_Yamete_! _Dame, Necro! _Onegai_, Undine, St. Tale, _yamete_! _Yamete__, yamete_!"_

Plead! Beg! Beseech! Implore! Entreat! Appeal! Supplicate!

"DIE, SCUM!"

Necro Hammer! Spinning Scythe! Necro's Anger!

"Pervert!"

Razor! Arctic Impaler! Bubble!

"St. Tale don't like you. St. Tale eat you."

Chomp! Snap! Bite!

The six authors and single Last Blade 2 character stared in disbelief at the carnage. Necro was practically frothing at the mouth, one hand launching his energy arrows while the other kept summoning weapons. Undine was not as psycho but was just a close second in launching ice attacks. St. Tale, the normally placid tail, was lunging around for all it was worth, chomping away at Ky Kiske who was dodging like crazy. Poor Dizzy was trying to get her Systems to stop attacking, but as always she failed miserably.

"I take it you downplayed the 'danger'," TRUE Unknown mumbled.

"Thank you very much," Sheo grumbled back.

Hibiki made a move to help Ky but Lone Wolf held her back.

"But, Lone Wolf-_san!"_

"Don't be rash, Hibiki! The tail alone can wipe you all over the ground! I won't let you endanger yourself for nothing!"

Blackheart wiped away a tear and sniffed. "Such romantic lovers… scenes like this always made me cry…"

Athena patted him comfortingly on the shoulder.

"What we need," said Chisaii404, Kaiser Ryouga agreeing with her, "Is a plan."

A cute girl suddenly appeared out of nowhere: Fellow GG writer Michiku. "I have an idea, guys!"

She looks at Sheo meaningfully, who shrugs and says, "Yes, yes," before using the 'Will and the Word' and summoning…

Zio the succubus.

If you'd ever read _Do It And Die, you know why Necro suddenly halted in mid-attack and gaped at the lusciously cute succubus. Undine noticed the sudden decrease in projectiles being flung at Ky and became very annoyed with her fellow System wing, actually thwacking him very soundly over the head._

"Pervert!"

"OW! That was uncalled for!"

"Quit staring at Zio like that!"

"B-B-But… But I like her!"

"Because she's half-naked?" Another thwack resounds.

"OOWWW! Look who's talking!" Necro then blushed when he realized Zio was giggling at him. "Waaaahhh! It's your fault, Undine! She's laughing at me because of you!"

"She's laughing at you because of _you, moron! And I'm not half-naked, you pervert!"_

Aside, Zio giggles some more.

"Stop that!" Undine tried to whack Zio but missed and hit St. Tale instead. The poor tail –not really that vicious, though her bite certainly _is worse than her bark– immediately began to cry._

"Mommy, they're making me cry."

"Aw, poor St. Tale." Touched, Dizzy coddled the poor System as best as she could, considering St. Tale _was_ her tail. "Stop fighting, you two," she scolded Necro and Undine.

The two promptly shut up, though Necro every now and then aimed a cursory glimpse at the giggling Zio.

Ky stared at the blue-haired half Gear girl before him, who despite all bad things that seem to happen to such nice people always managed to be such an angel in the end. Suddenly that cold and arrogant little heart of his began to become bigger, and bigger, and bigger (in literal and figurative senses), and he realized that there was much more to life than chasing after Sol Badguy and Fuenken and that crazy redhead girl, more to life than Ky Kiske ever thought.

And he had found it here.

He found it in _her._

Dizzy.

She was surprised when Ky hugged her warmly.

"This is the –what, the latest pairing of Ky and Dizzy?" Blackheart was asking Athena.

"Yes, as of December 7, 2003."

"How cute!" Chisaii404 and Michiku held hands in happiness. "_Kawaii__!"___

"I'm envious," Lone Wolf said.

Hibiki looked at him, looked left and right and around, made sure no one was looking at her except Sheo –who winked and pretended to be smiling at his latest work– and then gave Lone Wolf a quick peck on the cheek. The latter stared at his friend being suddenly comfortable with him –out of character, especially– then grinned.

"I STILL WANT BRIDGET-DIZZY PAIRING!" TRUE Unknown yelled, startling everyone.

The door to the room burst open.

There, furiously radiating a burning aura, long brown hair in tangles and brown eyes ablaze and bed sheet wrapped around her petite frame and the insanely humongous anchor in her hand was a very unhappy May. Behind her was Bridget, blushing in embarrassment at having to get up and out of the bed in the middle of the night.

"That's it! Everyone, get OUT!

             "So there will be a wedding?" everyone was asking Yuuki.

"_Hai. Next chapter will be the wedding ceremony itself. Sheo's already planning it with help from his buddies."_

"I wonder if it's as insane as the first _The Wedding Night_…"

"Probably, and especially so, if that Ebs guy appears again. And what was that about a box?"

"Not _a box. It's 'The Box'_."__

"Hey, Michiku, can you pass me some hot chocolate?"

"Here you go, Lone Wolf-_san."_

"Thanks, Hibiki."

TRUE Unknown sat in reserved formality. He was not in any way injured or hurt; he just got the life scared out of him when Burning May (the local version of Burning Batsu) went berserk and tried to Anchor Whirlwind them all. Luckily Sheo had immediately teleported the furious girl, her rather disheveled husband –Bridget in just boxers was a very silly sight–, the couple's bed and some odds and ends to somewhere distant and safe.

            Naru Narusegawa was enjoying her bath in the Hinata Inn's hot spring when, of all things, a king-sized bed crashed into the pool.

Sputtering, his newly cut-short blonde hair being damply limp from the water and breaking the surface like a surfacing submarine, Bridget gasped for needed air, cursing a definitely crazy and somewhat twisted _sukebe_ of a writer–

–And then came to stare at Naru, who was in her birthday suit and staring back at this boy who just popped out of nowhere in her bath and–

"EEEEEKKKKKK! PERVERT!"

Thwack!

In orbit around the Earth, Bridget realized something he hadn't thought of before: There were girls in the anime and gaming universes that made May look like the very soul of gentility.

"That girl punches pretty hard..."

            Below, frustrated and watching her boyfriend/husband floating the sky, May could only howl: "SHEO!"

             "So," TRUE Unknown queried Yuuki, the latter bright-eyed and bushy-tailed from having nagged at her master's frayed nerves all week long, "Where _is_ Sheo?"

Smiling foxily as a pair of pointed cat ears popped out on her head out of nowhere, Yuuki nudged her glasses into place and said: "Where else?"

             "Ah, Tessa, that feels so good, thank you… a little lower, Rei; slightly below and left of the small of my back… ooh, pleasant, the feeling… stupid Yuuki… under the base of my neck, please, Kirika… I should get massaged a lot more often…"

            Again, in the darkness, a box awaits, glaring at the shadow that surrounds it, muttering like Dick Dastardly's dog  Muttley.

No. It is not just _a box._

It is _The Box._

"_Shiatsu_ massage? Hmm, I wonder…"


	4. 3 Pinoy Invasion!

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived and Written by: Sheo Darren

           Sheo needs even more sleep than before. It seems that if half a dozen plush toys of Tessa, Kirika and Rei don't work, a hundred units ought to do. Unfortunately, his buddies Shou Tsuzuku and Ebs have gotten some sort of inane idea into his head. Crazy…

           Rated PG for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Coupling: **Ky Kiske **and** Dizzy. **

           Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. He would like to state his gratitude to the people who intentionally or unintentionally helped his conceive and write this chapter. He apologizes to Sir G for turning this story into a convoluted crossover with little or less plot–but isn't it fun this way? He also wants to tell Shou Tsuzuku a.k.a. S.T. a big, "Yes, sir… my… buddy!" and wants to fry a certain _epal_ fish who deserves to be canned. Also, as a personal favor to Lone Wolf SIX: "Just what are you up to with me in _GG versus SNK_? Can I get paired with–"

Tessa, Kirika, Rei and all the girls: "SHEO!!!"

           Never mind…

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc One**

**Loveshorn Knight and Angel Wings**

**Episode 3: Pinoy Invasion!**

           Somewhere in the seedier parts of a shopping mall in the Greenhills region of the Philippines –a place neglected by most decent people, save, that is, for those who need to buy bootleg items and pirated goods at insanely low prices, at the risk of being caught by the local killjoy bigots who call themselves the 'NRCB' and who pride themselves at wasting so much time in their air-conditioned rooms while trampling on the masses' desire to enjoy life at a progressively reduced cost at this place called Greenhills but which noticeably lacks any hill of any sort or color– but we miss the point.

Anyway: Somewhere in the seedier parts of the shopping mall known to Filipinos as Virra Mall, getting himself drunk on local booze and being utterly miserable, was a certain former Gear who was once the feared right hand to the most feared Gear in the world but who now was a sorry sob of a loser for having lost his most cherished ideal twice already at the hands of conniving blondes –one English, the latest French– and even sorrier in that he was nothing more, really, than a potato-loving faggot dressed up in a tight tube top and a closet pedophile and–

"I heard that," growled Testament at the ceiling.

There is the distinct sound of laughter coming somewhere above. Thankfully, the emboldened text representing the speech of the author of this fan fiction does not appear, meaning he had deigned to expand on his taunt.

Testament was not happy right now. Having lost Dizzy again to some all-powerful fan fiction writer who took glee in making him suffer by watching helplessly how his darling was exploited –or not, considering that there were many writers out there, the one writing this story included, were decent people– anyway, Testament was at the lowest ebb of his morale.

He was in a bar right now, where bartenders served out alcohol at ridiculous prices but which people nevertheless paid for without complaint because booze was booze. This being in the Philippines, the bar had its own unique attributes and occasions. Only a few minutes earlier, Testament had watched as a bunch of toughs approached a woman and lewdly asked for her companionship, then a lone guy who looked older than Kliff Undersn told the toughs to lay off and treat women better, then a fight commenced with the guy slamming the toughs into tables and doing some very fancy punches and one liners. The guy –his name were initials all; FPJ, was that it?– then did some very fancy shooting that would have impressed Dirty Harry or Private York, blasting the goons in rapid succession with a S&W long-barrel revolver with one bullet per baddie. Damn, if all Filipinos could shoot that way, they'd have come a long way in conquering the world. The incurious bartender off-handedly told Testament that _that happened every week or so, with guys named Lito Lapid or Robin Padilla or the Revilla father-son tandem doing the clean-up. The bad guys never learned._

While the action scene was playing out he considered his attempts to do something about Dizzy's impeding damnation –err, wedding. He had tried. Oh, had he tried to stop the wedding before it got rolling. He had sent Zio over to seduce or kill Ky, but somehow his trusted succubus sidekick had failed to deliver on her mission. If fact, she hadn't come back yet, which troubled Testament to no end…

            "This is very nice of you to treat me out, Necro-_chan_."

"Uh, yeah, um, right, of course, Miss Zio…"

"Call me Zio, dearie; I'm not that old, you know."

"Right…"

"You were saying something, Undine?"

"Oh, nothing. Shouldn't you be going back to Testament now, Zio?"

"But, Undine!"

"Bother that, Undine, you're such a spoilsport. Let him be for a while; I'm on vacation right now and I need relaxation."

"Maybe he's worried about _you.?"_

"There's no need for him worrying; I can't be touched or anything, remember?"

"Yeah, but you can give a lot of pleasure out, you could…"

"Eh? Were you saying something, Undine?"

"Nothing, Zio..."

"St. Tale like ice cream. Yummy!"

"And since Mr. Kiske did give you the money for that, I suppose you won't attack him any more, would you, St. Tale-_chan_?"

"St. Tale promise."

"Oh, just great…"

           …And still Testament tried. He had tried teleporting, but to no avail. Though he had teleported without abandon in the first _The Wedding Night,_ he wasn't able to do it anymore for some reason…

            "Thank you very much for your help, Father Anderson. You don't know how much we are in your debt."

"All in the service of God, my boy! Besides, demons must not be allowed to corrupt the pure children of the Mother Church! And you a friend of my old friend Kliff Undersn, God rest his soul in peace. This is child's play, affixing those sacred writs in strategic locations and therefore depriving evil beings that use teleportation to move about in waiting ambush for the faithful!"

"Nevertheless, thank you very much for this, Father, and for agreeing to officiate at our wedding..."

"No problem, my boy! Although, I was thinking that weddings aren't really my field of work. Father Maxwell is far more suited to the role, you see, but he's absent now on some reunion of his. Something about five pilots who save the world piloting Gundams, a weird stalker 'chick' –his words, not mine– who kept following the main character around and the guy being stalked being Japanese but looking Polish, a guy with no name save for 'No Name' _and_ a name he stole, a guy who's supposed to be Middle Eastern but is too white, and a fanatical Chink who's got as much common sense in his head as there is air in outer space. Whatever that means…"

           …And the one time his teleport worked, Testament found himself in the wrong place –and under attack from a crazy guy in a Russian military combat uniform and wielding an AK-74S that _never_ ran out of high explosive armor piercing radar guided homing laser bullets!

           Earl Osborne howled his insane battle cry as he charged the weird-looking man who looked like a woman in leather. He hated people who looked like gays.

"_Anak ng Ricky Reyes! Isang gagong bading na isip sepulturero! Marami ka pang kakaining bigas! Atsaka bad breath ka ah; etong sa iyo! Toothpaste!"_

(Translation: "Son of a Ricky Reyes! Gay bastard who thinks like an undertaker! You have a lot more rice to eat! And you've bad breath, too; take this! Toothpaste!")

           _That was one of the strangest and craziest experiences the ex-Gear had had. Crazy Filipinos running amok with weapons of selective mass destruction: What was the world coming to?_

As he drunk his San Mig Light and reminisced upon better times, Testament felt the presence of a person come over to his side. He heard a sleazy voice asking:

"Boss, VCD? DVD?"

"What is this?" Normally the Gear was disinterested in such things, but he was depressed today and in a forgiving mood. "A sales pitch?"

"Yes, boss," the man said in Pidgin English. "Boss, X?"

"X 1999?" Testament could not suppress a shudder at the mention of that anime. Horrid, horrid, just horrid, the way those gay bastards…

"No, boss. X, as in triple X."

"Huh?" It dawned on him suddenly: "Is this pornography?"

"Yes, boss."

A long moment of silence, before–

"How dare you blatantly offer me such garbage! I should strike you down and slay you all now for polluting the world with your very presence! In fact, I will do so right now, considering that my beloved Dizzy is about to be given off to a scoundrel and me unable to do anything about it!" Testament raised his scythe.

The guy shrugged casually. "Okay. You want other services?"

That comment made the Gear come to a stop. "What other services?"

"Many services, boss. We do kidnaps, hold-ups, assassinations, gunrunning, pimping, porn movies, stopping weddings from happening…"

That last item piqued Testament's interest and gave him a sudden spark of hope. "How much to stop a wedding?"

The guy told him. "Are you good?" Testament asked again.

"The best, boss." He pronounced the word 'the' as 'da' and with a crooked smile.

"Consider yourself hired, human. This is what I want you to do…"

           The wedding of Ky Kiske and Dizzy was a big event inasmuch as to the nature of the nuptial couple and the bride's impressive array of friends and admirers. Included in the guest list were many Guilty Gear fan fiction writers, and at the top was the man who arranged the whole thing to occur: Sheo Darren.

Inside his room within the vast confines of the gigantic Ultrasaurus mobile headquarters carrier Zoid that was his home, this great writer was engaged in a crisis like no other, a crisis his power and genius could not solve.

Sheo sighed deeply as the bow he was attempting to tie loosened up and slipped down for the umpteenth time. "It isn't as easy as it looks like," he grumbled at his reflection in the mirror.

The door to his room resounded with knocks. Forgetting his problem with the tie, he went over and opened it.

Three very pretty girls were there in the doorway, all dressed up for the wedding and all with eyes for Sheo. Teletha 'Tessa' Testarossa was in front, charismatic and adorable even in a formal Mithril dress uniform that did nothing to detract her good looks and petite figure. Behind her was the infamous but sweetly cute assassin known as Noir: Kirika Yuumura, a sky blue sundress and white ribbon bow easily hanging upon her slim frame and a curious expression in her eyes. Finally but not the least of them was the reticently beautiful First Child herself, Ayanami Rei, her evening gown of delicate transparent lavender and deeper purple absolutely lovely.

Despite his trouble, Sheo could not help but smile at his three friends. "Well, now, is there anything you girls would need?"

Kirika pointed at Sheo's cause of trouble –the tie– and quietly remarked, "Your tie is undone."

"Oh, poor Sheo could never really live without us keeping an eye on him." Flirtatious as ever, Tessa moved in and began tending to it cheerfully while the owner of the tie slightly blushing at all the attention the gray-haired girl was giving him.

Not forgotten but content to remain at the sideline for the time being, Rei simply stood there and watched.

"There, there." Tessa gave the tie an ostentatious pat. "All done now, Sheo."

"How can I ever live without you girls tending me?" The Filipino writer grinned. Thanks a lot, Tessa-_chan. Oh, and Kirika-__kun, could you please hand me my cologne?"_

Obediently the Japanese girl fetched the said item for the doubly grateful Sheo. "_Arigatou."_

It was Rei's turn as she carried over perhaps the most precious thing in the world for her: A small sky blue case containing Sheo's glasses.

"I was wondering where it went."

"I borrowed it last night."

"Oh. Okay." His glasses on at last, Sheo tipped them in flourish and asked: "Shall we?"

           Aside, no one noticed a small figure sliding away from the P4 computer that Sheo used to type his fan fiction. It was only when she was pretending to be interested in an entirely different matter that Sheo noticed her.

"Hey, Yuuki! What are you up to now?"

That Girl tipped her glasses, gave her creator her most childlike smile and said, "Yes, sir, my Master?" in Japanese accented English. Nearby, Seras Victoria heard that and frowned a bit. She didn't like people ripping her lines off and was tempted to bite Yuuki for that transgression.

For a moment Sheo looked like he knew Yuuki was up to something; his interpretation of That Man was usually up to something, and it usually was no good. Then, remembering that they might be late for the wedding, simply reprimanded his created character, grumbled a bit about free will and the usual diatribe, and went off to the Ultrasaurus command center to make sure that Dana Sterling and Meia Gisborn had things in hand.

Certain that no one could see her smile, Yuuki allowed herself one. "To quote one of my Master's other created characters: 'The lights are on, the curtains are raised, and the act begins. It's show time!"

           In another part of the world –specifically, Sheo's Shaman King fan fiction _Iron Maiden and Dowser Knight– Rione Asuka Hunter sneezed._

"I wonder who's thinking of me? _Kilig, sobra!"___

           The guy who had bothered Testament earlier entered a room inside an abandoned factory to gather his men. (For some obscure reason, Filipino bad guys liked to make their dens in remote locations that had no innocent bystanders nearby in case a firefight broke out with the attacking good guys.) In according to tradition both local and overseas, the goons were drinking and playing blackjack.

The boss did not mince words. "_Hoy, mga ungas! Magsiayos kayo at me trabaho na naman tayo!" ('Get up, you imbeciles! Fix yourselves up; we've got a job to do!')_

_"Talaga, boss? Ayos, me kita na naman tayo!"_ ('Really boss? Great, we're gonna get some cash again!)

_"Galeng."_ ('Wow.')

_"Yehey."_ (Same as above.)

"Astig." (See above)

_"Magmadali kayo at mayroon tayong kailangang i-_arrange_ na kasal! _Kunin ninyo yung mga anting-anting, mga kris at mga panangga. Hala, mga tanga, bilis! Lalakad na tayo!"__

('Hurry up and we've got a wedding to 'arrange'! Get your _anting-anting_, swords and shields! Hurry up, morons! We go at once!')

"_Anong ibig sabihin ng 'arrange_'?" _('What does he mean by 'arrange'?')_

_"Ililigpit raw, tanga."_ ('Get rid off', dummy.)

"OK."

           Preparations for the wedding were complete. As well as inviting relatives, friends and acquaintances as guests, there was also the matter of safety for the event. Considering that there were at least two people who'd make trouble if they can –one a Chinese cook, the other an ex-Gear; can you guess who?– it was decided to beef up security measures for the entire area. Therefore, various mercenary and military groups were asked to the occasion, among them being Mithril, AEGIS, the Federal Forces, UNSPACEY, SeeD, the Galaxy Police, and several Super Robots and their respective support bases.

There was only one serious problem: The father of the bride could not be found. Despite best efforts, there was still no trace of Sol Badguy. The last anyone had heard of him was when the Getbackers duo, Ginji Amano and Mido Ban, had tried looking for him. The pair came back toasted to a crisp. It appeared Sol didn't want to be bothered by anyone.

So, with the greatest of feigned reservations, Johnny got the honor of giving Dizzy away. He was wearing the most elegant of tuxedos and pants– but he was still shirtless.

"What?"

"Put a shirt on, Johnny."

"Aw, come on, May…"

"Johnny." Her mouth was a flat line of disapproval.

"Yes, ma'am." _So much for wowing the ladies with my abs, Johnny thought as he went off to put on a shirt._

           In the reception area that would later be used as the party grounds, a knot of Guilty Gear writers and a certain Last Blade 2 character are talking with each other.

"So how was your excursion chasing after that band you like?" Blackheart ZERO was saying.

"Pretty tiring, but it was a lot of fun." Athena Asamiya tossed her luxuriantly long hair up in the air. "They and _yaoi and Sol Badguy own my soul, period."_

Next to them, Hibiki Takane was examining her lovely red formal kimono. "Lone Wolf-_san, I don't really think this kind of clothing fits me. It's rich and all, but I–" Here she made a gesture of frustration with the hand holding her pole sword._

"Of course it fits you, Hibiki, and it fits you well, I should say." Lone Wolf SIX was grinning reassuringly at his friend. "I should know; I bought it especially for you. Though I wish you'd have left your sword behind."

"Considering the likeliness of random battles happening right before us, I think this is wise to be armed. Forewarned is forearmed, Lone Wolf-_san_."

"_Haii, Hibiki_-kun."__

Hibiki blushed. "That's my line."

"Hey, guys!" Chisaii404, Michiku and TRUE Unknown arrived just then, the first two very happy, the last looking a bit apprehensive but game.

"Hey, TRUE Unknown; what's with you?"

"May is back already, right?"

"Yes, she is… oh. I see."

"Don't worry," said Michiku. "She's forgiven you."

"Really? Who said that: Sheo?"

"No. Quatre did."

The annoyed Bridget appeared out of nowhere. "How many times do I have to tell you!" he fairly screamed before being yanked back by May into the bride's fitting room. "I AM NOT QUATRE!"

"At least it wasn't Sheo who said it," TRUE Unknown said.

"Where's Kaiser Ryouga II?"

"He probably got lost."

Somewhere in the reclusive woods of China, Kaiser Ryouga is fending off a swarm of Chinese Amazon warriors with his beam umbrella and Dark Side Force powers. Yes; he did get lost.

Athena noticed a group of people. "Hey, who are those?"

Chisaii looked in the direction and then shrugged. "I dunno. But they're the weirdest bunch I've seen."

"Hey! I know them!" Lone Wolf tapped his temple twice before remembering. "They're from Eternal Fighters Zero!"

"That new fighting game loosely based on Guilty Gear?"

"Yeah! That's the one!"

"The one with characters derived from _hentai_ games?"

"They are?" Both Lone Wolf and Hibiki blushed.

Without giving the authors any sign of recognition or interest, the troop of girls – Mai Amasagawa, Ikumi Amasawa, Sayuri Kurata, Nayuki, Misaki, Shiori and Kaori Misaka – passed them by. They were carrying a palanquin, and upon that palanquin was–

"A box?" Everyone was in disbelief.

It was square and brown and had SBC Packaging written on a side. It also had eyes and a down-turned mouth set in a permanent glower and an evil aura.

The Box of Doom Mk II gave the GG writers an evil glare. Everyone shivered from the evil aura it radiated as it passed by.

"Just what the hell was that?" TRUE Unknown muttered when the Box was gone. "Yet another one of Sheo's little in-jokes?"

"No," answered a familiar voice, "He's actually an original idea –a self-insert representation of my friend for himself. I got permission to use him."

Sheo Darren himself was there now, Yuuki (a.k.a. That Girl) preceding him, with Tessa, Kirika and Rei following close behind him and–

"Who are they, Sheo-_san?" Hibiki was phrasing her question politely, unlike the rest of her companions who were basically yelling, "What the hell?"_

The people in question were about five dozen or so girls, all in Sheo's train. Included in the impressive group were Selphie Tilmitt, Serena Schezar, Nene Romanova, Hikaru Shidou and Nova, Maya Ibuki, Mana Kirishima, Tomoyo Daidouji, Tonette Macchi, Mariemeia Khushrenada and Mineva Lao Zabi, Barnette Orangello, Allenby Beardley, Mimiru, Minase Mai, Shinobu Maehara, Cagalli Yura Ashura, Lux Clyne, Seras Victoria and Yomiko Readman, to name a few.

Coughing delicately, Sheo introduced each and every girl. It took him a good while to finish. "My–" he searched for a diplomatic word, "Friends."

"Friends. Right."

"A lot of them seem to be younger than Sheo." TRUE Unknown considered. He asked Yuuki: "Would by any chance your master suffer from Lolita syndrome?"

"What do you think?" she replied in the same way Sheo teased Lone Wolf and Hibiki back in Chapter Two of this same fic.

"Thank you very much, Yuuki," growled Sheo. "How about I ground you?"

"Then why did you make me a cute ten year old girl?"

"You're based on Mariemeia, that's what. Although she's never given me the same kind of trouble you are giving me."

"Wait 'til later," mysteriously promised Yuuki.

"What does that mean?"

Laughter, as the light falls on a just right angle upon Yuuki's glasses, obscuring her eyes and reminding everyone that she is That Girl…

Dizzy was blushing badly as May and April fixed her up for her wedding. "I'm so nervous," she honestly admitted to her friends, "I think I'm going to faint or something."

"You didn't have this kind of problem back in the first _The Wedding Night_," April noted.

"Sheo probably forgot to put that in," suggested May.

"It's so nice of you guys to help out in my wedding: Johnny giving me away; May the bridesmaid; Bridget the best man; April and Jack the ring bearers–"

April's face had a look of disgust when her pet peeve was mentioned.

"Don't worry, Dizzy; your wedding will turn out fine. Johnny, Bridget and Potemkin are giving Ky last minute advice."

"And you'd better not make her cry," Bridget was sanctimoniously addressing the Frenchman, "Or else."

Flanking the blonde boy, massive Potemkin and suave Johnny cracked knuckles and bared swords. Bridget himself was fixing his yoyos –or maybe preparing for a very Bad Trick. Finally, Jack was shining a 12 gauge shotgun and inspecting a row of copper-colored 400 grain shotgun shells.

Ky rolled his eyes: "Shotgun wedding taken to new interpretations."

"You're just lucky Sol isn't here and that this isn't the original_ The Wedding Night_." Bridget shuddered slightly as he remembered how he was virtually thrashed all across the world in that story. "Anyway, I doubt Sheo is up to something; he wants Dizzy to be happy."

"Well, what about That Girl? Yuuki looked like she knew something was going to happen."

"Relax. We've got it all under control."

The wedding ceremony was okay, by most standards. There was a bit of a last minute hassle considering that Sheo's extensive harem had to be assigned an entire row of chairs of their own. All the while the said author was protesting the term 'harem' as it supposedly had unpleasant and untrue connotations. Oddly enough, no one was aiming any comments at the Box of Doom Mk II, itself surrounded with a number of cute girls.

"It _is a box, after all" Bridget decided. "I guess we can let it be."_

"Thank you very much, Quatre," growled Sheo.

"Payback time…"

Dizzy was absolutely lovely in her wedding dress. Ky was okay enough, though he opted to wear his armor over his tuxedo and bore Thunderseal alongside him: "For security reasons."

Father Anderson was adept enough for the wedding. He was, however, too much of a war freak and a fanatic. When a random person in the front row had dozed off during the early part of the Mass, Father Anderson threw a knife at him. Luckily the blade missed –narrowly– and everyone kept awake and paid attention to the priest's lecture, if only to make sure that they had a chance of dodging the next projectile.

Gospel and Homily came, and everyone suffered. Father Anderson chose a reading about sin, death, punishment and the like that had nothing to do with weddings. He delivered a fiery and unnecessarily long homily that was mostly rants directed at people who wrote _yaoi fan fiction, especially about him and his arch rival Alucard, and promised painful death of a delectably detailed nature and fiery eternal damnation to such writers ("Dust to dust. Amen.") In the audience, Athena Asamiya was taking discreet measures to hide from view; she was, after all, a _yaoi_ writer. The only one who enjoyed the sermon was Ky. He had had enough of people pairing him with Sol in freaky stories and hoped this wedding would be the final nail on that slander's coffin._

At last the homily ended, and the rest of the ceremony passed swiftly. Finally, Father Anderson approached the most critical part of the ceremony. May unobtrusively signaled the security forces to be extra vigilant. She had a feeling something out of hand was about to happen.

Aside, Yuuki was smiling as she tipped her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"So," Father Anderson continued in cheery enough manners, "If anyone has just cause to object to this wedding…" As he talked, his swords suddenly appeared in his hands while Ky unsheathed Thunderseal. Potemkin, Johnny, Bridget, May and the Jellyfish crew were also making overtly threatening displays with weapons.

No one answered. No one even moved.

Yuuki tipped her glasses. "All for nothing," she mysteriously murmured.

"Well, then." Father Anderson grinned as his swords disappeared and everyone sighed in relief. "Since no one disagrees, I now pronounce you– what the… A DOOR?"

It was, indeed, a door, appearing in thin air and looking perfectly normal. It opened and out tumbled Faust, laughing like mad because he _was_ mad. Following closely on his heels was a very familiar Gothic drag queen decked up in a tube top and holding a blood-red scythe.

"Testament?"

Sheo blinked before grimacing. "Clever. I didn't expect a dimensional door."

"Unhand my darling Dizzy, boy, before I slay you for such misdeed!"

"Well, at least he didn't mistake Ky for a girl like with me…"

Ky immediately got between Testament and Dizzy. "Never! I will not let you stop our wedding!" Next to him, Father Anderson sprung from his spot near the altar, swords in hand. Potemkin, Johnny, May, April, Bridget, Jack ran from their seats and took places beside Ky.

"You seem to be outnumbered, friend," Johnny said as his katana appeared out of the folds of his trench coat like magic.

"Hah! I did not come here without preparation!" Testament gestured triumphantly. "Now, my minions! Show yourselves!"

No one appeared. All the fighters waited impatiently for the summoned minions to appear. Minutes passed. A big sweat drop formed on Testament's forehead.

"We're waiting," May grumpily said.

"Excuse me for a moment." The Gear rushed back into the dimensional door. Everyone heard him yelling and cursing whoever he meant to get a move one.

Finally, Testament came out with a look of annoyance and disenchantment in his face. Behind him were arrayed his minions, the most improbable bunch of warriors any American had ever seen. They were about a dozen men with brown skin and black hair, dressed up in _bahag loincloth and armed with wavy__ kris and large shields. Weird little necklaces were draped over their necks._

"Ha! Meet my minions! They will slay you all and take Dizzy away from here!"

Behind him, the warrior 'primitives' all got into ragged formation and were yelling Tagalog battle cries like, "_Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!"_ ("Long live the Philippines!"), "_Nanlalamig ang puwit ko dahil sa tang-inang bahag ko…"_ ("My ass is getting cold because of my friggin' loincloth…") and _"Uy, astig yung damit ng mama, a!" _("Wow, that guy's clothes are cool!")

"You mean those nutcases?" Everyone stared at the newcomers, and then they all broke into very loud laughter. Even Dizzy was laughing, which said a lot for the sheer stupidity of the situation.

"Filipinos? What is the world coming to?"

Testament got angry. "You dare toy with me?" He gestured grandly to his men. "Show them your power, men!"

One of the Filipinos took out a slingshot and opened fire, but accidentally hit one of the church's stained glass windows.

_"Ay, patay…"_ ("Oh, sh#t...")

Now, _that got Father Anderson's attention. "Sacrilegious infidels!" he howled in anger before throwing a swarm of knives at the offending Filipinos. To everyone's surprise, the knives harmlessly bounced off the Filipinos._

Testament laughed. "Hah! My men cannot be harmed by such weapons!"

Father Anderson wasn't so ready to agree quite yet. He threw himself at the Filipino warriors and was mobbed but put up a good fight, what with him being a regenerator and all that. But twelve-to-one odds and that invincibility overcame even him. It took the all of the Filipinos to take him down, but Father Anderson went down. Then there was a hail of holy writs as the paladin teleported. 

"He'll be back," Blackheart said.

Sheo was already teleporting everyone outside the church, as he was leery of the potential property damage. The Jesuits were going to kill him for that single broken window (already patched up, but still!); what more if the entire church went down over their heads?

A battle commenced. Johnny used Mist Finer. No effect on the Filipinos.

Potemkin did his 'Heavenly Potemkin Buster' move: Still no effect on them.

Jack emptied his automatic shotgun's twenty-round magazine, lobbed a grenade, jumped up and hung himself on the chandelier and did a 'Desperado' Limit Break: Not a scratch.

May summoned Yamada the whale and sent him into the melee. The Filipinos caught Yamada and began cooking him, much to the horror of the pink whale's mistress.

"Waah! Yamada-_san!"_

Bridget looped his yoyo around one of the Filipino warriors' waist. "No one does that to my wife's pet whale! Shoot The Moon!"

On Mare Tranquilis on the moon, Chinese astronauts are horrified to find a homicidal amok Filipino in a loincloth chasing after them with a sword.

"Give up?" Testament taunted.

"Never!" Ky went into his battle pose. "You will not stop our wedding, potato-loving faggot! Prepare to be defeated!"

The Filipinos nudged one of their own forward. "You fight him," everyone said.

"Why are we talking in English now?"

"Because it's a bit clumsy to rely on translations, dummy."

"Okay."

Ky immediately powered up and launched his ultimate overdrive: "RIDE THE LIGHTNING!"

Unfortunately, his Filipino opponent was a gutter fighter who used cheap and dirty tactics in fighting. He tripped Ky in the middle of 'Ride The Lightning', beat him over the head with a shield until the Frenchman was senseless, and kept kicking the knight repeatedly while he was down on the ground.

"Ow. Ow. Ouch. Ow. OOOWWW…"

"None of our attacks are working on them," April realized a bit too late. Jack pointed her tardiness in a not so polite manner, which started another argument that degenerated into full-fledge war that Sheo is so fed up with, he teleports the two of them away from here.

"Mr. Darren!" Dizzy was in tears. "Why did you do this?"

"ME?" Sheo looked flabbergasted, as if he was truly caught by surprise. "I didn't do anything!"

"But you're the author," TRUE Unknown pointed out.

All the people there turned to glare at Sheo.

"But I never planned this! I really want Dizzy and Ky to get married and I certainly didn't plan this…" His last words trailed off as he realized _who_ the culprit was–

"YUUKI!"

"Uh, oh." That Girl knew she was in trouble, so she flashed everyone one last grin, said, "Bye, bye," and then time-slipped out of the church and into safety before Sheo or any of the other guests could beat her up.

"Wonderful character design," TRUE Unknown snapped at Sheo. "Do make more of her in the future."

"She must have messed up with my computer; that would explain everything! The invincibility is due to their _agimat –local magical amulets that protects the user from any sort of harm! Oh, I am so gonna __kill her!"_

"Forget Yuuki for a while!" Bridget gestured frantically to the advancing Testament and his phalanx of Filipinos, all heading for Dizzy.

"Dear Dizzy, come back to me now…"

_"Yamete!_ _Onegai, yamete!_ Ky-_sama! Anyone, please help!__"_

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Help. Ow."

Sheo's eyes narrowed as he focused. "Here comes trouble," he swore beneath his breath as he used 'The Will and The Word'…

Suddenly, a girl in Japanese _fuku and pleated skirt, her wild red hair flying, appeared: None other than Justine Harrier (see Chapter One). She rushed over to the choir and was relaying her message breathlessly. The choir all nodded and began playing out loud a certain Queen song that had led to the name of a certain prototype half-Gear: Queen's 'Hello, Mister Badguy'._

Who else came in but Sol Badguy?

"Sol!" Testament said in shock. That was all he managed to say, as Sol stomped over to him, grabbed him, head-butted him, Wild Threw him and then executed the ultra cheap combo that Ebs used on his opponents in Guilty Gear (▼-Slash-High Slash-Dust-Bandit Revolver and wait for attack's second hit-Roman Cancel-▼-HS-▲-S-Dust-repeat ▲-S-D until impossible to do). Naturally, that flattened Testament into a pulp before Justine could finish her pom-pom cheerleading routine.

(to the tune of the GaoGaiGar opening theme) "Go, go, go! Go, go, go, Sol Badguy! Go, go, go! Go, go, go, Sol Badguy!"

"Is this all?" Testament uttered before fainting.

"He has Venom's death quote, too?" Athena mumbled.

Sol turned to the Filipinos, who seemed surprised at the defeat of their leader but were still ready to accomplish their mission. Then, to everyone's surprise, Sol used his right hand to form the letter C, then flashed four fingers up, then five fingers. Then he said in very fluent Filipino:

"_Kaya mo ba, 'tol?" ("Can you take it, bro?")_

The Filipinos all burst into grins as they found a kindred soul who knew how to invite them to an alcohol drinking spree. Justine ran over carrying ice-cold bottles of Colt 45 (a Filipino pilsner drink, from whose advertisement commercials the line Sol uttered was taken from) and began serving out glasses.

"You know, this is stupid," TRUE Unknown told Sheo, who shrugged and replied:

"At least our raunchiest pilsner commercials somehow managed to stay at PG or PG-13 at the most. What about that media blitz by Miller a while back– the one with the catfight girls?"

"You saw it?"

"No, just read about it on the Internet. By the way: 'Great taste' or 'less filling'?"

"Of course I'd go for– never mind, forget I said anything…"

Aside, Blackheart ZERO was chuckling. He'd used _that_ idea before (see _The Incredibly Zany Guilty Gear Story _Chapter 11).

Anyway, the Filipinos and Sol all did a toast and drink their glasses straight– and then the Filipinos all choked and toppled over dead.

"What the censored?" Sol muttered.

"They swallow their _agimat stones earlier to make them work," explained Sheo. "The drink got stuck in their throats because of their __agimat and choked them."_

"So,_ hindi ninyo kaya pala, 'tol?" ("So, you couldn't take, huh, bro?") "Too bad." The disappointed Sol began drinking by himself while Justine happily plinked ice cubes into the empty glasses and refilled them._

"Stupid," TRUE Unknown repeated sullenly. Sheo was nodding in agreement.

"Where did Sol learn to speak Filipino?" Dizzy asked Bridget.

"Since he learned that booze was cheap and good in the Philippines, that's when. He gets around, after all."

Steven Seagal suddenly appears, says, "I found gold in the Philippines," holds up a bottle of Tanduay Rhum (yet another local alcoholic drink) and leaves.

"And what was that for?"

"That? That was for variety."

"Your fan fic is not only long; it's also pointless, crazy and confusing."

"I noticed."

            Suddenly, a shrill shriek startles everyone –and shatters the half-full glass of beer Sol was about to down.

Unfortunately for Ky, his lesser bane of existence had again appeared.

"KURADOBERI!"

Cranberry Jam skidded to a halt, looking absolutely sexy but furious. "What is this? Why is Ky going to marry that girl?"

"Help," Ky was muttering.

Sol got up, scowled, "Stupid bitch with ugly assets," and did a Tyrant Wave: Version Beta that blasted Jam a hundred miles away.

"That was quick," said Sheo.

"Anyone else want to die?" Sol bellowed at everybody. "Step right up; I've got plenty of Napalm Death for everyone!"

A sudden and eerily cute peal of laughter makes everyone turn around to stare at Mai Amasagawa, the '_battoujitsu swordie' girl who was carrying the gasp of horror! Box of Doom Mk II._

Looking very tired all of a sudden, Sheo sighed deeply. "I forgot about him."

"Do you really think that you could make any fan fiction with no smear of perversion?" Mai's eyes glittered unnaturally. "Admit it; you were always a closet pervert and pedophile, just like the rest of us!"

Sheo felt a disturbance behind him as his entire 'harem' stirred at that remark. He began wondering just why this had to happen to him, of all people, and that he should really have gotten better friends than the ones he had.

"That's not true!"

"Sheo's not like that!"

"Take it back, or else!"

"Yeah!"

"Why is she talking like that?" Tessa asked indignantly. Beside her, Kirika was reaching for her 1938 Beretta while Rei was raising an AT Field.

"Possession," tiredly explained Sheo; "The Box itself can't talk, so it has to have someone to do the talking for it." Beneath his breath, he added: "And he took the one girl from that game who I kind of liked, too…"

Mai/The Box laughed as evilly as she could, though she sounded more cute than menacing in the process. "Prepare to meet your doom, Sheo Darren, for you will meet the ultimate evil to ever walk the Earth!"

With a very deep sigh, Sheo asked everyone to take at least fifty steps back as the Box was renowned for summoning very large and terrifying monsters. His sardonic smile underlined the word 'terrifying'. "Please," he added.

Knowing how crazy this entire story was, everyone ran off to relative safety.

The Box suddenly opened and out of it came–

"Horror of all horrors! It's a giant Barney doll!

It was indeed the purple dinosaur all decent people hate, now grown to monstrous proportions and singing his horrid lines, "I love you, you love me, we're one happy family!" Immediately an unholy wave of sickening aura swept through everyone in the vicinity, making them gag, retch or pass out from sheer revulsion. Even Sol looked ready to succumb in disgust while Father Anderson –newly returned and regenerated– was slowly decomposing. About the only people unaffected were all those within a fifty foot radius of Sheo, including the GG writers and his harem, plus Justine who broke into a big grin at the sight of Barney, ran over to it and glomped it.

"_Kawaii!"_

"Your girlfriend is weird," Father Anderson managed before he fainted.

"She's not my girlfriend," Sol snapped at him before fainting as well.

"Do you know," the bespectacled writer of this fan fiction glumly muttered, "That _I am _so_ going to get __flamed because of __you?"_

Mai/The Box only laughed shrilly. "Giant Barney, destroy Sheo Darren!"

"Give me a big hug!" the giant Barney cackled as it stomped closer to Sheo.

"Fine." Sheo turned to his coterie of 'girl friends' ("They're girls and my friends but they're not my girlfriends.") and called out: "Talim!"

The petite High Priestess of the Wind from Soul Calibur II who was Sheo's official little sister rushed to him. "_Ano 'yon, kuya?"_ ("What is it, big brother?")

He handed her a sheet of paper with lines on it. "Please read this. Aloud, if you may."

"Okay!" The Filipina teenager scanned the paper once and began reciting the lines. As she spoke, she did not notice the holy light that began shining from her.

"I don't remember the exact lines from that Silver Surfer comic book, but it did mention something about 'when the heart is at peace with itself, the purity of the inner essence will shine forth from it and purify the world of evil that cannot stand it' or something like that. Is that okay, _kuya_?"

Sheo was smiling now. "Yeah, _'tol; it's just fine."_

The unholy giant Barney was screaming as it melted into a purple puddle and the puddle burst into purple fire that then vanished. It couldn't take the combination of Talim's pure innocence and the holy light.

"Curse you!" Mai/The Box was absolutely furious. "How could you have thought of such a counter to my unholy Barney?" She got into her _battoujitsu_ pose. "You will learn to feel the fury of a Johnny/Hibiki clone that uses a Western sword in _battoujitsu_!"

"Just to set facts straight: _Battoujitsu with a Western double-edged sword is impossible because of both the sword and the sword art involved."_

Johnny was trying to convince himself that this was all just a bad dream.

The voice of the Eternal Fighters Zero narrator chimed in: "Ready: ATTACK!" (with the cute Japanese accent that makes 'Attack' sound like 'Attaku')

Mai/The Box charged forward to launch her version of Hibiki's ultimate move. Sheo dramatically tipped his glasses and murmured: "Now."

Suddenly, out of nowhere poured dozens of _bishounen_: Soujiro Seta, Aoshi Shinamori, Kenshin Himura, Trowa Barton, Kasuki, Hotohori–

"Wait a minute," Sheo muttered before erasing that last person; he disliked FY.

–Tamahome–

"Damn it, not again. Erase, erase…"

–Nakago–

"That's it." Sheo then blasts Nakago into oblivion. "Die."

–Kamui–

"What the–fine, fine, I'll let you live…"

–Fuma–

"On second thought…" Sheo atomized Fuma; he hated gay guys who killed their sisters. Then he killed Kamui, too. "No one is gonna destroy the Earth while I'm around…"

–Touya Kinimoto–

"Thank goodness; it's working again…"

–and the like, especially concentrating on CLAMP and RK _bishies_.

Mai stopped dead in her tracks. "What the?"

Sheo pointed at his opponent and grandly yelled: "BISHOUNEN NO JUTSU!!!"

All the _bishies simultaneously unleashed their charm. The end result was that not only Mai was hit by the full force of the 'pretty boys' barrage, but also all the other girls in the area except Sheo's harem, Dizzy, May (all being protected by Sheo's will) and Justine, the last glomping the insensible Sol. Naturally, all the girls swooned to see all those cute guys._

"Curse– you– Sheo…" Mai managed before fainting from charm overload. Of course that was the Box talking; Mai herself was in bliss.

"I'm in heaven," Michiku mumbled before following Mai's lead. Next to her Chisaii404 was already deliriously unconscious.

"No _yaoi?" The partly-affected Athena Asamiya looked disappointed. "Aw…"_

Bridget was burying his face on May's shoulder, the latter patting his back comfortingly. "Why, why, why do people keep reminding me of the _Harem no Jutsu_ I pulled off Broomhead? Why?"

"Sheo did it!" His harem mobbed the author, who was grinning in embarrassment from all the attention from Tessa, Kirika, Rei and all the other girls.

The dimensional door opened again and out stepped Kaiser Rouga II with Father Duo Maxwell, S.J. "Am I late?" the former asked.

"Father Maxwell, welcome back. We've missed you!"

"Ripping the Matrix off again, Sheo?"

"Maytrix? Why is it named after me?"

"Never mind…"

"And so I now pronounce you, man and wife." Duo beamed at the couple he married. "You may now kiss the bride."

Ky lifted the veil on Dizzy's head. As everyone cheered save Sol –the last fending off Justine's unwanted attentions– they kissed.

And that was that.

**OMAKE**

**CHAPTER FOUR TRAILERS!!!**

            Yuuki gathered all her confidence as she paced in her secret headquarters. "They will pay; they will be made to pay! They will learn to feel the fury of That Girl scorned!"

She gestured to the darkness a la Mitsuki Rara from Dual. "True Child of Justice, come forth!"

Red eyes gleam evilly in the dark as a nine-foot tall shape towered over her mistress/creator: The ultimate weapon ever created.

"They will learn what justice means. And you will teach them that!"

A sibilant but frightening voice hisses:

"_KYO-KUN…"_

            In the wastelands, forgotten, a box with the label of SBC Packaging lays upon its side on a pile of dirt. The side facedown in the dirt was the one bearing its face, so it is unable to do its evil glare.

"Well, now," a voice intrudes. "It seems that you were defeated again."

The box would have glared if it could.

"And since Sheo so conveniently forgot to deal with you, I think I'll do it myself."

Was that a pathetic wriggle coming from the box, as the person talking to it picked it up?

"The Philippine post office hasn't seen you in quite a while… so, it's time for a reunion. Let's go, Jer!"

The Box of Doom Mk II could only silently vent its ire as Shou Tsuzuku –whistling by himself– carried it off to its doom…

            "Welcome to the aquarium channel. Tonight we feature the unique fish known as the PLAPLAMAN. It is a fish that lives in both fresh and salty water, has a dour expression on its face most of the time and likes being such an asshole to all of its neighbors. It is not good for eating and is pretty strong as it knows judo and wrestling. It also reads _hentai_. Again, ladies and gentlemen: The PLAPLAMAN."

            **On a deserted island somewhere off the coast of ****Mindanao****, the conflict-stricken southernmost major island of the ****Philippines**** and home to Islamic fundamentalist rebels and kidnappers and trigger-happy AFP Marines galore…**

**Two people must set aside their differences…**

"Loser brother to a _bishie cross-dresser!"_

"Tomboy best friend to a girl with squeaky shoes!"

**…or not, if they can't– in order to survive daunting terrain…**

"This is the, what, the fifteenth mountain we've climbed?"

"Twenty-first, moron. Can't you count?"

"Where's GPS when we need it?"

**…hostile natives…**

"_Uh, cute _mo naman, ha, iha." _(Hey, you're cute, aren't you, girl?")_

"Get away from me, old pervert."

"_At anong gagawin mo?" ("And just what are you going to do?")_

"ELECTRIC TORPEDO!!! PSYCHO CRUSHER!!!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Wow. She can do that?"

**…getting caught in a running battle between the military and the MILF rebels…**

Through a massive exchange of gunfire is heard the yells of a author-created character who's caught in the middle of the crossfire.

"Cease fire! Cease fire!"

"_Uy, sino 'yun? Si Jericho Rosales ba?" ("Hey, who's that? Jericho Rosales?")_

The gunfire ceases as cries of "Autograph!" resound. 

"Thank you very much, Jack."

"Oh, shut up…"

**…and other fearsome obstacles that lay before them…**

"Yuck! They call _this food?"_

"I wonder how toasted chicken legs got to be called 'Adidas'? Hmm; doesn't taste bad…"

"Ew. You're disgusting, Jack."

"Hey, this is what they call _balot!"_

_"Balot?"_

"Partially cooked duck egg with the fetal duck inside mostly developed."

"YUCK!!!"

"And this is _isaw!"_

"_Isaw?"_

"Toasted chicken intestines."

"…Barf bag… need a barf bag…"

**…without killing each other…**

"That's _my shirt!"_

"Well, it's _mine now!"_

"It's my only clean shirt! Give it back!"

"Why you–"

**…or accidentally doing a Naru-Keitaro situation…**

"–PERVERT!!!"

**This is the Sulu archipelago. And this game is…**

**Outlive… Outplay… Outlast…**

**SURVIVOR (**BATTLE****** ROYALE): SULU**

"Thank you very much, Sheo…"


	5. 4 Old Men Never Die, They Just Get Older

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived and Written by: Sheo Darren

           Unfortunately, it seems that the inanity of this story is not just due to his sleepiness or writing it at 4 AM on November 1. Sheo should have had gotten better friends and advisors. Of course they keep popping in and out of his stories; that's the bad news. The worse news? Sheo is still sleepy. You have been warned.

           Rated PG for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Coupling: **Ky Kiske **and** Dizzy. **

           Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. He wants to have Tessa, Kirika and Rei all to his own. And all of the other girls previously mentioned, too. And he also wants an Ultrasaurus, the real thing, the carrier Zoid with artillery cannon and triple A batteries and depth charges and Zoid minions. And he takes back all the bad things he said about Chloe before. CHLOE ROCKS! OH YEAH! And he sends this message to Sho Tsuzuku: "Wait."

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc One**

**Loveshorn Knight and Angel Wings**

**Episode 4: Old Men Never Die; They Only Get Older!**

Within the vast expanse of her temporary headquarters that hovered in space –and what a massive and mighty fortress it was, this artificial moon whose name will not yet be mentioned for plot purposes–, That Girl (also known as 'Yuuki' and 'the Mariemeia Khusrenada/Mineva Lao Zabi clone') ponders her next move as she analyses what resources are available to her. Revenge is first and foremost on her mind: She will teach the impudent older generation the power of an author-created character gone wrong, horribly wrong!

Fortunately she had acquired quite a substantial amount of cash, more than enough for her needs. She snickered at the thought of Bill Gates waking up and finding out that he had lost all of his bank accounts. Damn Microsoft, indeed, for back when she was still designing the Gears after the disaster with the future Sol Badguy, Yuuki had tried using Windows 95 as an experimental OS for her first flight of units. It was a disaster, to say the best, whose details will not be discussed here save for the terrifying frightening words 'Blue Screen of Death' (a problem also inherent in the Robot Ky and Robo Ky Mk 2 GGXX #Reloaded units save for that one rogue free-willed Robo Ky, but those weren't That Girl's creations, so why should she bother?) Her current Gear designs used Linux software on Macintosh platforms: Rock stable and excellent performance, if she could say so herself.

I-Nou and Raven were still loyal to her, and that foolish Brit boy who time-slips every now and then could be depended upon to play the trusting idiot who unconsciously carries out her plans. For that matter, Yuuki did not time-slip in the last chapter, as she did not have the time-slip power. She simply used a Town Portal scroll set to her personal retreat. Diablo II's gaming system rocks; she just wished she could somehow use that level 80 character of hers in the game for a minion in the real world.

And so she considers an issue of great importance, one that surpasses anything and everything in its sheer enormity and dire need of solution.

"The air conditioning sucks. I should have it fixed."

That was the problem with buying things second-hand at last-minute closing time 50%-off sales bargain shopping in Virra Mall while a fire was merrily burning down the entire place: You always got far less than what you bargained for. In fact, the guy who sold her this super space fortress was a shady-looking character, who kept keeping an eye out for whatever he feared: Cops, fellow cheapskates or his wife.

"I should have known buying the Death Star for a hundred bucks was a lousy deal. Bad air conditioning, no heaters, no hot water for the baths and _no_ cable TV: What else can go wrong?"

On the surface of the planet, Piccolo looks up at the clearly visible shape of the Death Star hanging in the night sky… exactly like a full moon. "Oh, shit."

Behind him, a gigantic gorilla was spouting mega energy beams at everything in sight.

"Damn Saiyyajins…"

Yuuki tiredly tipped her glasses, though better of it and ditched the large spectacles aside, and leaned back on her chair's back rest for a minute's break, just to get rid of that annoying migraine inside her head…

…And found herself was looking up at a rather imposing cloaked figure who looked down on her with a sinisterly pleasant smile.

Yuuki rocketed over her desk and away from the mysterious man. "Who are you? How did you get here?'

"Ah," the sinister voice said, "But the question should be: Who are _you_? Why are you _here_?"

"Are you trying to mess with my head?" That Girl tipped her glasses back upon the bridge of her nose. "I do that to other people, but I don't like people doing it to me."

"True, true, but I am not an enemy so you need not fear me."

"I'll be the judge of that. Hey!" Her eyes practically jumped out of their sockets. "You're Sho Tsuzuku!"

"Finally, you have got the spelling of my name right. Indeed. I am Sho Tsuzuku."

"This encounter being cliché already, I have to ask: Why are you here?"

"You wish to defeat Sheo Darren, don't you? That is particularly difficult considering that this is _his fan fiction– but it is a possibility."_

"How did you know– never mind. Go ahead."

"You are indeed an apt pupil. Well, let me tell you this." Sho Tsuzuku made a grand gesture while doing his speech. "If you wish to defeat someone, you must know his strengths and weaknesses. Discover an opening, penetrate his defenses and so deliver your sweet revenge that will be born in good time thus while you enjoy your brutal domination of him!"

"The way you talk, it's like you're implying something sexual."

"What the–never mind. Next advice is this: If you wish to hurt someone like Sheo, you will achieve this not just by attacking him but by attacking those around him."

"That's easy. He's got lots of girls he likes, and three of them especially so."

"Teletha 'Tessa' Testarossa, Yumura Kirika and Ayanami Rei, right?"

"Yeah. So?"

"I'd suggest this plan." Sho explained his plans to the interested Yuuki, who was nodding at the logic of the idea. "You will need allies, of course."

"Already working on it."

"Any other weakness of Sheo's that you know?"

"Well, he does keep complaining about his computer, the one he uses to–" Yuuki's eyes light up. "Write his fan fiction…"

Sho Tsuzuku smiles just as evilly. "There's a start."

Newly-wed husband and wife Ky and Dizzy Kiske celebrated their successful wedding with all their friends and family. The party lasted quite well into the night and was, at the most, a peaceful occasion marred only by a few mishaps and incidents that could not be avoided.

For example:

"Chattanooga! Oh yeah, Japanese food! All mine!"

"What the–where did that ninja come from?"

"Stop him! He's taking the cake!"

"Hah! Find me!"

"Sheo, do something!"

"Let me pick up a random pebble first… okay…"

"Ow! Bull shit! God damn pebble! I'm dead…"

"SLASH!"

"Stupid drug addict ninja with no defense…"

Yes. Ninja are renowned for spoiling romantic situations.

And:

"SOL~CHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!"

"What? Still alive after Omega Rugal beat you?"

"Yes! My love for you exceeds his power and so sustains me onwards! You are the true source of my power! And so, I come back to you!"

Cheesy romantic music plays out loud.

"Lone Wolf, Sheo, I am _so gonna __kill the two of you!"_

"Sheo, are you sure that it's wise to let Sol go around armed like that?"

"He poses no threat to me."

"I know. The question is: What about _me_?"

There is a long pause. "Good question, Lone Wolf. But, hey, there's Hibiki waiting for your dance, and we got to get the plot moving now."

"Oh. Okay."

"And by the way…"

"Yeah?"

"How by Kirika, Tessa and Rei did Justine get beaten?"

"Um, Omega Rugal _is pretty powerful. And Justine was distracted."_

There is another long pause, while Lone Wolf is fidgeting and wondering what kind of temper Sheo has. "And I really needed a plot device…"

"Oh," the Filipino author said, much to his fellow writer's relief. "Okay. But you did give Omega Rugal a lot of firepower, you know. He's bound to cause trouble. Speaking of which, I think I'll deal with him later."

And still:

To the tune of _Beauty and the Beast, Hibiki and Lone Wolf SIX are now dancing a romantic waltz. The latter gives Sheo Darren –inconspicuously tending to the stereo system– a look of suspicion:_

"Sheo, are you trying to tell me something?"

"Perhaps; you did get Justine beaten up by Omega Rugal. Just kidding; wait for a moment while I switch CDs…"

The speakers loudly play Queen's _Bohemian Rhapsody, much to everyone's consternation or amusement_.__

"Um, let me fix this for a while…"

Aside, Sol looked rather pleased, enough to start tapping his foot in rhythm or at least until Justine glomped him again.

"Let's dance, Sol-chan!"

"Damn it…"

"Ah, here it is!" His glasses flashing triumphantly, Sheo presses the play button. Appropriately for the event, the romantic ending theme of Gundam F91, _Hohoemi wa Hikaru Kaze no Naka (Smiling Within The Eternal Wind), plays._

"That's better. Hey, everyone, let's start dancing!"

**_"Maru de kanashimi no kakera da wa, machi wo tozasu GARASU iro no yuki, ashita wo sagasu hitomi sae mo, kumorasete yuku no yami no _****_kanata_****_…"_**

****

Everyone got partners for the dance. Hibiki with Lone Wolf, Athena Asamiya went with Blackheart Zero, Chisaii404 paired with TRUE Unknown, Michiku with Kaiser Ryouga, May with Bridget, Ky and Dizzy, Father Anderson and his nun sidekick Yumiko, and the rest. Johnny was conspicuously without a date and wondering where Millia was: "I should have invited her."

**_"…Mishiranu chikara ni nagasarete kokoro ga dokoka e hagureteku, harisakesou na mune no oku de kodou dake ga tashika ni ikite iru…"_**

****

Additionally, Sheo had the problem of having about forty girls to spin around. He managed to convince them to line up by height and dance one by one with him before switching. Johnny tried to hitch even just one of the girls.

"Sheo, can I borrow one of your girls?"

"No, Johnny. You can't."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Still no."

"Final answer."

"Someone please hit this man very hard?"

"Selfish writer…"

"I also control much of what happens in this fiction, mister." With that a giant pink Haro from Gundam SEED appears and begins attacking Johnny.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"HARO! HARO!"

**_"…Hikaru kaze no naka kikoete kuru anata no koe, "Pray don't break a peace forever" sono kagayaki wo shinjite iru…"_**

****

Not too surprisingly, April and Jack were missing. When Dizzy worried about them a bit, Ky reassured her: "Sheo told me they were fine. They're off on this Survivor rip-off in an exotic location and having the best of fun…"

Off somewhere within the Sulu archipelago off the southern island of Mindanao, amidst the occasional staccato burst of automatic weaponry and the rarer artillery fire and the even rarer air-to-mud missions, two battered and desperate souls are wearily trudging through the never-ending rain forest.

"That is it," April muttered as she stomped through the muddy excuse for a path up the steeply-inclined mountain. "The next time I see a Greenpeace guy clamoring to save the forest, I'm going to kill him."

"Show some spirit, April." Jack seemed cheerful enough despite their misfortune, intentionally slurring the first two letters of April's name to make it sound like a certain large bipedal primate. "After all, this is your home terrain, right?"

April's response will not be published due to severity of her wording.

Suddenly the bushes before them burst into activity as two dozen or so men, all heavily armed and looking dangerous, surrounded the two.

"_Aha! May mga __Kano_ na naligaw a!"_ (Aha! Looks like some Americans got lost, eh!"_

_"Ayos, boss, may kita na naman tayo!"_ (Great, boss! We're gonna get some cash again!)

"The Abu Sayyaf?" April asked Jack. "They're the local rebels, right?"

"No. Opportunistic criminals branded by the local government as terrorists."

Following his goons was the boss of them all, a guy who looked like a robot and was vaguely familiar. "WELL-DONE-MY-MINIONS. WE-WILL-GET-WHAT-WE-NEED-FROM-THEM."

"You look like Ky," April said.

"WHAT?" The guy seemed offended. "I-AM-NOT-KY!"

Jack noticed that the speaker's eyes glowed and that he seemed to have keys for ears as well as resembling Ky Kiske. Suddenly he realized who this was:

"Robo-Ky!"

"WHAT? HOW-DID-YOU-RECOGNIZE-ME?"

"Duh, it's like, easy. You have glowing eyes and weird ears and look like Ky. Who would mistake you for anyone else?"

"CURSES! I-MUST-GET-AN-UPGRADE-LIKE-ROBIN-WILLIAMS-IN-MILLENIUM-MAN!" Robo Ky gestured to his Abu Sayyaf minions. "TAKE-THEM-HOSTAGE. THEY-KNOW-WHO-WE-ARE!"

"But, Robo Ky!" April looked distressed. "Why are you doing all these evil things? I mean, you're the single free-willed Robo Ky, right? Why take up your lot with evil kidnappers?"

"IT-IS-NONE-OF-YOUR-CONCERN, HUMAN."

"Yes, it is! What will Sumomo say?"

The mechanical warrior came to a sudden halt. "SUMOMO…"

"Yes! What will she say sacrificing her life just for you to do all this?"

**"See Lone Wolf SIX's _Guilty Gear vs SNK_ Chapter 7: Steal This Gear) for more details," a voice from above suggested.**

Jack blinked several times in surprise. "Took you some time to do that again, eh, Sheo?"

"Wouldn't Sumomo be sad if she saw you doing all this?" April was asking Robo Ky. Rob Ky seemed to do his version of an angst-laden blink before saying:

"THIS-IS-FOR-SUMOMO. SHE-NEEDS-MONEY-TO-BE-REPAIRED."

(Flashback shortly after _Guilty Gear vs SNK Chapter 8 where Rikku was repairing the damaged Sumomo for Robo Ky.)_

"She took damage, but she can be repaired. However, her new parts are pretty expensive. You'll need quite an amount to buy what you need."

"I-WILL-GET-THE-MONEY. YOU-REPAIR-HER. I-WILL-PAY-YOU."

"But Sumomo will be unhappy if she learns you are doing what is wrong!" April was in tears, and the Abu Sayyaf bunch was moved by her eloquence to start crying, too. "Consorting with bandits? I think she sacrificed herself so that you can be you: The one true Robo Ky with self-will!"

"SHE-WILL-BE-SAD?" Robo Ky thought of Sumomo sad. He didn't like that. "I-DO-NOT-WANT-SUMOMO-TO-BE-SAD."

"Then stop this at once! _Onegai, Robo Ky! For Sumomo!"_

_"Tama yung bata! Oo nga!"_ the Abu Sayyaf bunch agreed. (The kid's right! Yeah!)

"BUT-HOW-WILL-I-GET-THE-MONEY-TO-BUY-HER-REPLACEMENT-PARTS?"

Jack seemed to be considering an idea. Grinning all of a sudden, he explained his brainchild to his companions.

Back to the wedding party:

Bridget caught up with Ky as Johnny temporarily danced with Dizzy. "Hey, Mr. Kiske, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" Though he had gotten beaten up and that entire crap last chapter, Ky was in a good humor. To prove it, he added, "Quatre?"

"Don't call me Quatre. Anyway, I got to warn you about your nuptial night."

"What is it now?"

"Back in the first _The Wedding Night, I got to marry Dizzy, right?"_

Ky frowned. He didn't like that idea.

"Well, anyway, I got to tell you to be careful. If this story is like the first release, it's about to get crazy."

"And you consider the story to this point _not_ crazy?"

"Trust me, Mr. Kiske; you haven't seen crazy yet. Don't be overconfident. I came in like that and look where it got me. Just be careful, okay? Like, lock the doors and make sure there isn't anyone in the closets. I don't know if that will make a difference, but I sure hope it will."

"Thanks for the advice. I'll keep that in mind. Oh, and by the way…"

"Yeah, what is it? So long as you don't call me Quatre…"

"Sure, Quattro."

"I AM NOT CHAR AZNABLE! EVEN LESS SO HIS ALTER EGO QUATTRO (Censored!)!"

"Fine, fine. Hawk of Endymion, I need some tips on the nuptial night."

"Tips? What for?"

"Hey, you're married, right? May's your wife. So I guess you already did _it_, did you?" Ky was blushing as he admitted all this. "Well, I haven't, so I need advice."

"After all that _yaoi fan fiction featuring you and Sol plus the occasional Dizzy and Millia pairings, you __still don't know how to do it?"_

"Will you just tell me what I need to do?"

Bridget grinned mischievously. "Nah; It's a lot more fun when you don't know and try all sorts of things to get it right." _I should know; I got to do all of that with May! Ooh, that was _so_ fun!_

"BRIDGET!"

"Suffer the consequences! And thanks for calling me by my real name again!" Bridget laughs as he runs away from Ky, making the latter wonder if all the people Sheo was encountering were affected by the said author's Field of Absolute Inanity. Taka Ichiku was right: This entire story was nothing more than a half-hearted repression of Sheo's perverted–

BONK!

"Ouch. Where did that anvil come from?"

"Apparently, Johnny's fate is not an object enough lesson. Now behave."

As the party wore to its end, Sheo –exhausted from having danced with all his girls at last and whacking people who kept on saying that this entire story was merely a barely-suppressed expression of his _hentai_ tendencies– decided it was time to get some really badly needed sleep. Bidding the other authors and characters a good night plus a friendly goodbye kiss on Dizzy's cheek–

"SHEO!"

–and so was forced to give all of his girls kisses on their cheeks as well, he took his 'harem' out back to the waiting Ultrasaurus to rest.

Kirika Yuumura was dutifully following Sheo and the others when something caught her attention. Curious, she walked over to a shadowy part of the area and knelt down to look at the small white ball of fur sitting before her.

"Meow?"

"Miss Kirika!" The cherubic pair of Tomoyo Daidouji and Jeanne d'Arc –the former Princess of all Japan, the latter the Iron Maiden of the X-Laws– was bringing up their company's rearguard. "Let's go back, it's late already. Sheo wants us back at once."

_"Haii. _Go ahead; I'll follow."

"Wow, she talked to us!" Tomoyo was gushing happily. "I should have brought my camera so I could have recorded it!"

Jeanne shook her head gently in amusement at her friend.

Kirika looked around to see if there was anyone in the area before unobtrusively picking up her new object of interest and catching up to the rest of them.

With the guests gone, Ky and Dizzy retreated to the nuptial room Sheo had booked for them in the 5-star hotel. All the while the two were blushing in embarrassment at what they were going to do. There they were, newly-weds in their nuptial room in order to consummate their love for each other– and all they were doing were sitting side by side, glancing at each other shyly and blushing all the more.

"Well," Ky began to break the ice. "Shall we?"

Blushing, Dizzy nodded.

Very hesitantly Ky reached over to his wife to stroke her hair. This time, there weren't any overprotective Systems or gothic gay rocker dudes in tube tops to get in the way.

(At the Mayship a good distance and altitude away, Necro and Zio were having a date, Johnny was reading St. Tale a bed time story and Undine was being a bitch and all that. Meanwhile, a kid was poking the immobilized Testament with a stick.)

Then–

"Hey! Who the hell are you guys?"

This was Ky's outburst at a bunch of people who scurried into the room and began setting up video cameras, stage lights, idiot boards and chairs. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Who else, but the guys from Virra Mall; the porn salesmen? "Oh, didn't we tell you," the boss among them said, totally without shame as if he did this everyday–which he did. "We do porn movies, too."

"This is our nuptial night! Get out!"

"That's exactly why we're here! We got paid to video the wedding. The _entire_ wedding, that is…"

In his room in the Mayship, Johnny –who arranged the entire thing– comes to a stop as he feels he had forgotten something yet again.

"What now, Johnny-_san?" St. Tale asked._

"Uh, oh..."

The door to the room burst open yet again, surprising everyone in the room. In stomps this blonde man in martial arts fighting uniform and who's old enough to be Ky's father. He's also very familiar to all Fatal Fury and KOF fans as a duly hated boss character with cheap moves–

"Aha!"

–And his accented English is also very famous in the entire gaming world for being so silly. Yes, it is who you think he is!

Geese Howard –'The Most Powerful Man In The World'– glares at Ky. "So, Terry, you are just here!"

"Who the hell are you?" Ky was really perplexed now. "And why are you calling me Terry?"

"Hah! You think that after more than one and a half centuries I will be dead? No, Terry! I am Geese Howard, the 'Most Powerful Man In The World'! I cannot die!"

"Do you know this guy?"

"No, Mr. Ky, I've never seen him before. And why does he call you Terry?"

Geese's eyes bulged insanely as he saw Dizzy. "So," the man grated angrily at Ky, "You would think to take away my son's girl friend, eh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hah! You would dare take away the only cute girl in _Garrou_ who is betrothed to my son?" Geese got into his arrogant fighting pose. "How dare you, Terry! With your record of getting your girlfriends killed off, you would think things will change? You pedophile! You're old enough to be her father!"

Dizzy began counting how many years old she was. She came up with four fingers, noted Ky's age was twenty-eight or something, blinked, and scratched her head.

In the frame of the blasted doorway, a handsome young man with blonde hair and jacket appears. "Uh, dad," he tells Geese, "There's something you need to know…"

"Later, Rock. You dad needs to inflict some pain upon the hero of the Fatal Fury game. Once I'm done, you can take him on next."

"Dad, that guy is not Terry Bogard and that girl is not Hotaru. Hotaru and I got married just earlier. We sent you an invitation."

"I did not receive one." Mentally, Geese was thinking: _That must have been the letter I thought was from Terry that I shredded. _"Well, if this girl is not your wife, so be it."

Ky sighed in relief.

"BUT! I will not let this opportunity pass me by!" Geese aimed his well-muscled arm at Ky. "Fight me, Terry! Let us see if you have gotten better after all these years!"

Ky face-palmed, sweat-dropped, the works. "I should have believed Bridget when I still could…"

"REPPUKEN!"

"_Kawaii!"_

"Aw, it's so cute!"

"Hey, let me look, too!"

"Like, totally adorable!"

It was not hard noticing the huddle of girls around Kirika. Curious at what was afoot, Sheo walked over to them, flanked by an equally interested Tessa and an equally disinterested Rei.

"Hey, girls! What's this?"

Kirika held up the object of their intense delight: A little white meowing ball of fluff and fur that was a cute and adorable kitten.

Sheo's smile vanished. "A kitten?"

"_Haii. Can I keep him, Sheo?"_

The author looked like he was rather unhappy, which made all the girls worry. If Sheo didn't want the kitten to stay, it had to go.

"I don't like cats," he said finally.

Kirika's face took on that angst-laden one she always sported when mourning her incapability to feel loss at killing people, a very effective tactic that she used without her knowing how effective it was or that she was doing it already. "_Onegai? I only had one pet before, but he ran away from me." (see Episode 6 of _Noir_)_

_Uh, oh_, Sheo thought, knowing what was going to happen.

"It's so cute!" Tessa petted the kitten on the head and it nuzzled her hand affectionately, meowing. "Oh, he likes me! Sheo, let's keep it!"

Looking to Rei for some sign of support, Sheo knew it was over the moment the blue-haired girl bent over the kitten to give it a cursory glance and then looked at him. Though the First Child, ice queen exemplar, had not been won over, neither was she interested in protesting.

Sighing immensely, Sheo nodded in surrender. "If you girls will promise to take care of him and make sure he's housebroken and all, I guess it's okay with me."

Everyone cheered. Smiling at the atmosphere the girls had created, Sheo shrugged off his melancholy and asked: "What do we call it, then?"

Kirika blinked just once and then asked: "How about Sammy?"

Sheo thought that was a great name, considering Guilty Gear was produced by Sammy and that Daisuke Ishiwatari just might forgive him yet for crossing the story over so crazily, as Sir G complained twice earlier. "Okay, Sammy it is. Welcome to the Ultrasaurus, Sammy." He reached down hesitantly to pet the kitten.

Chomp!

"_Aray."_

(Ouch.)

The first attack had blown up the entire room and everyone within it. Ky was just getting up again when Geese began to pummel his ass.

"REPPUKEN! DOUBLE REPPUKEN! MISOUGI! TATSUMAKI SENPUKYAKKU!" Geese paused for a moment after he executed that last move. "Wait, that's not a move of mine."

"Damn you!" This was his chance to even things up; Ky drew Thunderseal and attacked. "Ride The Lightning!"

Not batting an eyebrow or breaking a sweat drop, Geese caught _Furaiken's_ blade as it came down and tossed Ky all across the entire screen with incredible force. "Predictable!"

Ky was slower to get up this time. "This is… impossible!"

Geese laughed. "What do you expect, Terry? I had grown in power ever since we last fought! Even though you use a sword now, you have actually decreased in power!"

Ky attacked again using rapid slashes. Geese did the 'Dragonball Z' rapid block with one hand while the other was sending a text message to Rock stating that all was fine, your daddy is enjoying himself and Terry is a loser. Then he Reppuken-ed Ky all over the screen again. Ky crashed down and stayed down.

"You are such a loser, Terry," Geese said. "Is this all you can do?"

Ky gasped: "How can an old man like you be so powerful?"

"Hah! In the fighting game universe, old men never die! We just get older and more powerful!"

The scene cuts to show M. Bison, his ugly square mug gloating as he charges up for Psycho Crusher.

The scene again cuts to show Akuma charging up for his super-cheap fireball move.

The scene once more cuts to show Dracula seated upon his throne of skulls, holding his glass of wine and doing his infamous lines.

The scene yet again cuts to show Heihachi Mishima practicing his Hammerhead Crusher moves on his pet bear.

The scene cuts for a fifth time to show Kliff Undersn, Ky's mentor, drinking tea with a red dragon.

And again: Cervantes is laughing evilly as he attacks Xianghua, Kilik and Talim.

You know what happens. This time it's Omega Rugal, enhanced by the Orochi system and laughing.

The scene (you guessed it) cuts to show Happosai stealing lingerie.

Suddenly 'Hello, Mr. Badguy' begins playing again out loud. Sol and Justine appeared. The former was toting _Fuenken and an entire case of beer while the latter –Justice reborn as an Athena Asamiya remake who kept changing her clothes every appearance she made– was dressed up in a sexy short skirt and tank tops and beret and looked like a waitress at a bar._

Sol gave Ky a glare, said, "You loser," and walked away, Justine in adoring tow.

"Hey! Aren't you going to help your son-in-law?"

"Later. I've a drinking spree scheduled with Slayer. Damn cheater of a bloodsucker makes do with wine while I have to be content with beer."

Speaking of Slayer…

The scene cuts to show Slayer composing _haiku _while Sharon prepares the table for the late-night drinking marathon he and Sol will have. "Sharon, do please take out the 1895 I've been saving for this special occasion."

"With the cask, dear?'

"Ah, yes, please. It's the one in the old oak, the wine finely pressed by the feet of dancing fulsome maidens, though it's not very hygienic. But I'm a vampire, and my guests are Gears. Germs don't matter."

The scene cuts to show Sol glaring at the camera–

"F*** you."

"No! Do it to me, Freddie! Me! Me!"

Blackheart Zero appeared and began his explanation: "Justine has the Elissis syndrome –'you follow the person who can kill you if he wanted to'– while Sol is a pedophile. After all, he's all of 145 years old while Justine is how old? Seventeen or eighteen? Plus the latter is willing to give it to him. What a life."

"Hey! Physically, I'm seventeen; physiologically I'm just two; psychologically I'm usually a cheerful ditz but sometimes psychotically violent as my Justice phase; emotionally I'm Athena Asamiya (the fighter, not the authoress) but less chirpy and much cooler; and romantically I am Freddie's one true love!"

"I hate you. I hate you all."

"Hate begets love, hate leads to love, hate can actually be love disguised. Quoth the Blackheart: Nevermore!"

Sol just took a long slug out of his Colt 45 and wondered just how long this day would be.

Back to the fight scene: Geese laughed. "Even your allies refuse to help you! Now you will truly lose, Terry!"

Ky clenched his fists. "No! I will not lose!" He sees an image of Dizzy in her birthday suit–err, as he wipes away his nosebleed, Ky sees her in a really hot swimsuit– no, a dominatrix outfit– wait, why was he suffering _sukebe_ fan boy syndrome? "Curses!"

He was seeing Dizzy unhappy because he lost and died and left her all alone. He saw Testament convincing Dizzy to come over to the Dark Side. He saw Dizzy blasting Testament with Gamma Ray and joining Yuuki's group instead and Sol forced to kill Dizzy like in the GG Drama CD. Now that last outcome got him out of his trauma!

"For Dizzy's sake! I need more power!" Ky dramatically reached out to the sky. "Master Kliff! Give me the power!"

The sky above, full of thunderclouds, answers by sending a huge lightning bolt to strike Ky.

KABOOM!

"Ouch."

Geese was laughing again. Then his laughter died when he saw Ky slowly rising from the smoking crater, the blonde knight radiating immense energy. Ky was now wearing a sakkat helm that hid his face and was holding a monk's holy staff in his hands.

"What? What is this?"

Ky raised his head to reveal his eyes glowing white with power. "I AM RAIDEN! GOD OF LIGHTNING! AND I~HAVE~THE POWE~R!"

The theme from the old He-Man cartoon begins playing out loud.

Next follows a fight scene so full of lightning blasts and explosions and Thundaga and Quetzalcoatl and Ixion and Mjolnir that the entire landscape was rearrange into something like a war zone. Needless to say, Ky whoops up Geese's ass big time.

"And prepare to be finished!" Ky charged up for his final ultimate attack, the Space Thunder (conveniently copied from UFO Grandizer.)

Geese suddenly got up. "Hah! You are going to use the Buster Wolf on me, ah, Terry?"

Ky's brow furrowed, but he kept on charging up. "No."

"Old men cannot be killed, Terry! Their defeats are always dramatic!" So saying, Geese runs over to a conventionally high place and throws himself down from it.

"Geese!" Ky yells, as Geese plummets to his doom laughing all the way.

The scene cuts to show M. Bison exploding because his Psycho powers overloaded.

The scene again cuts to show Akuma's island sinking into the waves because he self-destructed it.

The scene once more cuts to show Dracula's true form burning away as it gets clobbered by Richter's 'Maria Install' Ultimate Holy Tornado Full Of Glowing Cross attack.

The scene yet again cuts to show Heihachi Mishima being tossed into a volcano by Kazuya.

The scene cuts for a fifth time to show Kliff Undersn, Ky's mentor, being blasted into bits by the original Justice before she turns on Ky and clobbers him and then fights Sol and is sufficiently weakened to be sealed by Ky.

And again: Cervantes is stomped by the giant Ultrasaurus that appeared out of nowhere. "Nobody messes with Talim in my fiction," Sheo growled from the huge Zoid's bridge.

You know what happens. This time it's Omega Rugal, and here comes Justine for their rematch. "I sneaked a kiss off Sol!" the girl chirps before firing off her powered-up Gamma Ray (actually, Sheo calls it Angel Laser now since Justine doesn't have the armor anymore and just summons wings like I-Nou's) and since she got to kiss Sol and was all perked up with that, the Gamma Ray was more like the SDF-1 Macross' main gun reflex cannon in terms of firepower. Good bye to Rugal.

The scene (you guessed it) cuts to show Happosai destroyed by the Ultimate Doomsday Force Weapon Machine of Destruction That Rivals Even Perky Justine's Ultra Giga Cheese Laser Attack That Is Gamma Ray: Chii and Black Chii, singing a duet of "Chii!" and totally annihilating the old man through their sheer cuteness.

Having no use for the Space Thunder he charged up, Ky turned off his powers and looked around. "Dizzy?" It looked like his wife had run off when the battle started. Ky sighed and began looking for her.

When he entered the last undamaged room in the hotel he found a small form huddled beneath the sheets of the king-sized bed. The gentle sound of a girl sleeping could be heard emanating from the shape.

Ky smiled. Poor Dizzy, she must have gotten tired and nervous from all the stress from today. There was absolutely no reason why Ky would want to wake her up, not even for sex. "Tonight can wait," he decided as he simply slid underneath the covers, next to Dizzy, and slowly dropped off into slumber. He felt a bare arm reach out to him and wrap around his waist in a familiar and comfortable manner, and wet lips press slightly upon his cheek before withdrawing back into the cushiony comforts of the bed.

"I could get used to being married," Ky decided as he slowly drifted into sleep…

…Which was cut short when the door slid open, a guy snuck in and suddenly yelled: _"Tadaima!"_

Ky bolted straight of the bed. He caught sight of the blonde guy in the jacket just as the latter also caught sight of him.

"What the–who the hell are _you?"_

"I should be asking that question! What the hell are you doing in bed with _my_ wife?"

"_Your wife? What did Dizzy have to do with you?"_

Beside Ky the form underneath the bed sheets stirred and mumbled.

"Dizzy? I don't know any Dizzy, pal, but if I were you, I'd slowly move away from Hotaru."

"Hotaru?" Ky was really confused now.

…And then behind the blonde guy in blue and white peeked in a familiar face with blue hair tied up in twin locks with yellow hair bows and sharply contrasting crimson eyes.

Dizzy.

"Mister Ky?"

Ky gaped at the sight of his wife staring at him. "Dizzy! But, if you're _there_, then who–"

Grumbling cutely from having had her fitful sleep disturbed, the girl beneath the bed sheets sat up and yawned, the covers sliding off her petite body. She had blue hair identical to Dizzy's –they were even tied up the same with wit hair bows, albeit the latter used red ones, not yellow– and the same cute face. However, she had blue eyes.

Hotaru yawned widely, rubbed at her still-sleepy eyes, blinked a few times and said: "What is it now, Rock?"

There was a long silence as it descended upon everyone that Ky looked like Rock and Dizzy looked like Hotaru and that the pairing was all wrong, horribly wrong.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

"Well done, kids and Robo Ky," the Army officer was telling April and Jack and Robo Ky. "You've rounded up these dangerous criminals pretty easily. Here's your reward."

He hands them lots of money for the capture of the Abu Sayyaf bunch. The kidnappers aren't unhappy about this all; they're actually posing for the cameras and enjoying their fifteen minutes of infamy.

"Won't they get into trouble for this?" April was asking Jack.

"Nah. Do you know how easy it is to escape from even the most secure prison in the Philippines? Ask al-Ghozi himself."

"I never knew you were actually clever and all that."

"Praise from you? Are you sure you aren't sick, April?"

"Shut up. So, is that enough to buy Sumomo's spare parts, Robo Ky?"

"YES-IT-IS. THANK-YOU-VERY-MUCH, APRIL-AND-JACK. I-OWE-YOU-IMMENSELY. ONE-DAY-IF-YOU-NEED-MY-HELP, I-WILL-COME." With that, Robo Ky breaks up into many pieces and flies away to buy what he needs to save Sumomo.

"That's one guy who has a happy ending," April observed, her new ponytail sort of attractive in a messy sort of way to Jack.

"The only self-willed Robo Ky?" Jack smiled, which made him look quite cute, actually, in April's mind. "I think we'll see him again some day."

"Yeah. So, Ash, should we get going?"

"Sure, Misty."

"Pika?" a yellow electric mouse asked from behind them. "Pii-Pikachu!"

"No more Pokemon inserts!" a chorus of voices in the background yell. "We told that to Lone Wolf years ago!"

Suddenly, out of the ocean rises a gigantic Godzilla-sized purple dinosaur. No, it is not Barney from the previous chapter; it is the Purple Dinosaur! A stupider and much more of a loser version than Barney, this creature projects an AR Field (Field of Absolute Riel-ity) which distorts reality all around it and makes everything stupid!

"Ah!" the Purple Dinosaur roars. "I am the Potato! Feel my fury!" It takes out a giant combat knife and begins slashing at Pikachu, who dodges and fights back using lightning. "_Aray! You are hurting me!"_

Suddenly a gigantic fish came out of the sea, takes out a similar knife and began backstabbing the Purple Dinosaur. _"Ha ha, Potato mo ang sarili mo, Riel!"_ yells the giant PLAPLAMAN as he attacks. (Ha ha, Potato yourself, Riel!)

"Argh! Stop that! I am the Potato!"

At the same time, the sharp barks of an M1 Garand can be heard. "Ha, Riel, _nakikita kita!_" the unseen voice declares as he fires off his rifle (Ha, Riel, I see you!).

_"_Argh!_ Putangina mo, Taka Ichiku__! Nasaan ka na!" (Argh! Damn you, Taka Ichiku! Where are you?"_

The Purple Dinosaur goes down from a headshot from the Garand; Taka Ichiku had snuck up on it and shot it point blank with his rifle.

**Taka Ichiku killed Potato with M1 Garand head shot.**

"Argh!" the Purple Dinosaur swears as it dies. "I will not make _libre_ (treat) to you anymore!"__

April and Jack stare at the spectacle for a while longer, shake their head, shrug and walk away.

"Filipinos… crazy…"

**OMAKE!!!**

**TRAILERS FOR CHAPTER FIVE!!!**

Geese Howard was still falling when a strong gust of wind caught him and put him down on the ground gently.

"What? Who dares interrupt the awesome demise of the Stronger Man In The World?'

"Geese Howard?" the voice of a girl asks. "It appears that you need some help."

"Hah! The Strongest Man In The World does not need help from a cute little girl like you!"

"Actually, I'm not little and I'm one of the oldest girls in One. But I _am_ cute, and I am powerful. Want me to prove it?"

"Do not make me laugh, little girl, for I am–"

"REPPUKEN!"

Geese just barely blocked the attack and did his counter throw on the girl. "Predictable!" He is surprised to find the girl landing on her feet unharmed. "Impressive, girl. You know my own move and how to react properly to the 'Predictable' throw unlike Terry. Who are you?"

"My name is Nayuki. I am from Eternal Fighters Zero. I am a servant of The Box."

"A what?"

"Not _a box. _The_ Box. We have need of you, Mister Howard. You would do well to join our group. We can offer you what you want the most if you ally with us."_

"I have never joined a group; I have always led a group. But… this might be interesting. Will I get to fight Terry?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. I agree to your terms. And by the way–"

"Yes?"

"Your Reppuken is imperfect but shows much promise. Would you like to perfect it?"

"Yes."

"Then we will begin your training at once!"

"Are you okay, Sheo? The bite looks bad."

"Yeah, yeah. Stupid cat, biting me on the hand when I was just going to pet it…"

"_Gomen, Sheo-_san_. I didn't expect Sammy to bite you."_

"Don't worry, Kirika-_kun, it isn't your fault. It's just that–OW!"_

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Sheo! I overdid the antiseptic!"

"Tessa-_chan, please don't overdo the cleaning…"_

"It has to be cleaned regularly."

"I think that is just an excuse so you can hold my hand for a long time."

Tessa blushed while the other girls looked envious.

"But why did Sammy bite only Sheo?"

"If anyone here decides to start quoting Dual on me, I will spank her. Really."

A long pause, then: "Maybe he bites you because he likes you?"

Another long pause, then: "Rei-_san, please hand me my slipper. Kirika, could you hold Nene for me; I'm just too tired to chase her down."_

"Waah!" Sound of feet running away, plus feet running after her.

Sigh. "By the way, Skuld: How's the new armor unit going? The one I asked you to make a few weeks back?"

"Final installation is complete. The systems all checked out green. Live-fire weapons testing are 195% above pre-trial predictions. The Phase Shift II armor has proved to be as durable and capable as we envisioned it. My creations really rock!"

"Great. We'll need that Reinforce unit pretty soon for Justine in the big battle scene in the next chapter, so finish it ASAP, okay?"

"Yes, Sheo!"

"Meanwhile, I'd better start planning my next chapter. With Ky and Dizzy married off, I wonder who I can pair up…"

Baiken Seishino glared at the cameraman, said, "Die," and stabbed him a million times. "Damn paparazzi. What the hell am I doing here anyway?"

"Need a hand?" Axl asked and was promptly Instant Killed.

"Die!"

"Anyone need an eye?" a private eye asked. He, too, got Instant Killed.

"Die hard!"

TRUE Unknown appeared. "I thought you could only IK once?" Then he dodged Baiken's third IK and ran away. "Die harder!" he yelled at Baiken in amusement.

"TRUE Unknown, I'll kill you one day," Baiken promised fatefully. Fateful music begins to play, while the audience goes "Aaaahhh…"

"Die hard: With a vengeance."

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! We're dead."

"Kenshin! Kenshin! Kenshin clone with one eye and one arm!"

"Argh! Don't call me Kenshin! Die!"

The camera gets slashed, turning the entire screen black.

Blackheart ZERO poses against the limelight: "Quote the Blackheart: Nevermore!"

Again.

Meanwhile, a bunch of people are trying to hold down Anji Mito and making him wear Levi's jeans and Polo Sport shirts.

"But, Mr. Mito! You're a model! You must wear what the director wants you to wear!"

"AAAAAAHHHHH! KEEP AWAY FROM ME!"

"But, sir!"

In the ensuing melee, Anji's finger grazes the polo shirt; his reaction is like someone being electrocuted. "The pain! The agony! The horror! The tragedy!"

"Isn't that a rap song?"

Anji summons his spirit dragon and runs –err, flies away. "Normal clothes... the kind that hide my awesome abs… terrible!"

"Hmm, that idea poses promise."

"Meow?"

"Hello, Sammy."

"The cat again?" A groan from Sheo.

"Say sorry to Sheo, please."

"Hiss!"

"Stupid cat. I ought to–"

"Sheo!"

"Fine, fine. By the way, can someone check my e-mail for me? Bloody cat bit my bloody writing hand. Thanks, Rei."

A few minutes of idle chitchat pass. Sammy the kitten is giving Sheo the death glare and Sheo is suppressing an urge to violate the law concerning animal rights and just doing something violent.

"Sheo, the computer is not there."

"What? What do you mean it's not there?"

"It's gone."

A rush of feet out of the room, then back into the room rushed Sheo. "Where the hell is it? Who moved it?"

"Meow."

"I wasn't asking you, feline. Damn it, just when Yuuki decided to run off and play evil, the whole story is going– wait a minute! YUUKI!"

In the Death Star –the air conditioning having been repaired to a usable extent– That Girl reviewed the women and mecha arrayed before her very seriously. Behind her was Sho Tsuzuku, rather pleased with himself. Behind _them_ was a certain 4 computer recently taken from the Ultrasaurus: Sheo's very own P computer, the same one with lots of pictures of Rei Ayanami and a dozen of Kirika's and exactly four pictures of Tessa.

"You have been here for a purpose. That purpose is revenge. In the next chapter of this fan fiction we will launch a crusade against the great evils that all of you struggle against! We will teach your respective foes the meaning of fear, terror, weakness and justice!"

There is a massive explosion nearby; Justice Mk II (Kagura Version) is going berserk and picking on anything nearby. Currently her target is Raven, who is being prepared now for 'Orbital Destruction' a.k.a. X-Laser. Nearby, I-Nou is lying senseless on the floor, victim of an SBC combo.

_"KYO-KUN! ANATA MO SUKEBE WA! SUKEBE, SUKEBE, SUKEBE!"_

"Um, excuse me for a while." Yuuki ran off to tend to her errant minion while two of her three new troopers sported sweat-drops on their foreheads. Sho decided to pick up on his ally's dialogue and said:

"Well, we are basically here to kick the ass of the people who annoy you. Are there any questions?"

The redhead with long hair raised a hand. "Are we going to be limited by rules?"

"No. Do your worst."

"Good."

The Oriental woman with pinkish eyes asked: "No holding back?"

"Yes."

"Understood."

The girl in the hunting cloak said: "Will I get to see Noir?"

"Yes."

She simply smiled and said, "Noir."

In the darkness, it waits.

While the Box of Doom Mk II was being forcibly dismantled by the Philippine postal service –the postal equivalent of getting raped by the same sex– it had returned to life in order to temporarily replace its now abandoned and arguably inferior body for a new one.

This is an upgrade. Upon its side are the words '_balikbayan_' (home comer), signifying its new shape and power. An even more evil aura emits from it.

In the darkness, two new eyes gleam evilly.

Sammy the cat meowed, scratched himself, and then his eyes gleamed meaningfully. "Meow…"

_"Putsa, nawawala na naman ako."_ (Damn it, I'm lost again.)

Earl Osborne chomped down on his unlighted cigarette and swallowed it whole as he shouldered his AK-74S and grumbled: "Boss Sheo, _nasaan na kayo?" _(Boss Sheo, where are you?)

Music from _Saving Private Ryan begins to loudly play as the Ultrasaurus changes course._

**"This means war…"**


	6. 5 Flashbacks Galore! Repaired

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived and Written by: Sheo Darren

           Did you really think that, with Ky and Dizzy married off, the insanity would end? Sheo certainly doesn't think so. If you want him to stop, send him exact real-life versions of Kirika, Tessa and Rei plus the Ultrasaurus he keeps on harping about and maybe Chloe too. It's worth a try.

           Rated PG for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Coupling: **Baiken** Seishino **and ****Anji** Mito.** **

           Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. He's very full of energy (and by that he doesn't mean it in a Chii-like way) but could use more sleep. Does anyone out there know of a cheap and safe sleeping pill for him to use? No, Chipp, he is certainly not going to buy from you. And just for that, this chapter will be a Chipp-bashing galore… though Sheo feels that there's something bad waiting for him towards the end of this story. He just can't put his finger on it.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc Two**

**Pink Katana and Stopping Fans**

**Episode 1: Flashbacks Galore!**

Baiken Seishino –disabled (but in no way helpless and incapable) swordswoman in that she was missing an eye and an arm, grumpy Japanese wanderer driven by her hatred towards Gears and That Man (actually, That Girl), and GG's Kenshin Himura clone– was not having a good day. And seeing how the opening for this chapter having been almost perfectly lifted from the first chapter of _The Wedding Night 2, everyone who has read the previous arc's four chapters know what this means: Trouble with a capital T, as in Mr. T._

First off, at the ending of the previous chapter, Baiken had been forced to waste a lot of time and energy Instant Killing a bunch of annoying people: A brave martyr of a cameraman, ready to die for his network's scoop or merely because he was unlucky enough that the author dumped him there for no reason at all asides to be a target of the latest reincarnation of Hibiki Takane's overdrive move–

**(Guess what? Flashback time again!)**

Baiken Seishino glared at the cameraman, said, "Die," and stabbed him a million times. "Damn paparazzi. What the hell am I doing here anyway?"

–That Brit kid who time-slips, was decked up in such silly colorful clothes and named after that guy from Guns 'N Roses that Daisuke Ishiwatari so admired–****

**(Here we go again!)**

"Need a hand?" Axl asked and was promptly Instant Killed.

"Die!"

–A private investigator, whose very role and lines were again lifted from a forgotten chapter of Blackheart ZERO's fan fiction _The Incredibly Zany Guilty Gear Story_–

**(Hurray! Just like TWN2's Chapter 1!)**

"Anyone need an eye?" a private eye asked. He, too, got Instant Killed.

"Die hard!"

–Guilty Gear fan fiction writer TRUE Unknown, who was the first guy to flame the original _The Wedding Night and who gives Sheo Darren a minor problem typing-wise in that the second part of his name almost always gets misspelled before this story's author notices and is forced to correct it–_

Sheo Darren blinked as the camera focused on him. "Wait a minute; we're supposed to do a flashback here. And I don't have the computer, so quit bothering me."

"You really keep on misspelling my name?' TRUE Unknown asked.

"Yes. Now go away, the story has to go on now…"

**(Here's the flashback now…)**

TRUE Unknown appeared. "I thought you could only IK once?" Then he dodged Baiken's third IK and ran away. "Die harder!" he yelled at her in amusement.

"TRUE Unknown, I'll kill you one day," Baiken promised fatefully.

–The whole audience of the story, as they had made the mistake of murmuring fatefully "Aaaahhh…" for emotional and dramatic effect while Baiken was pissed off and so died senselessly, innocent of any serious wrong, really, save that Sheo is a sadistic person indeed–

"And I thought that with Yuuki gone, I'd have a saner story." Sheo drank deeply from his mug of water and sighed even more deeply. "Guess not…"

**(Yes, we're still not done with the flashbacks…)**

Fateful music begins to play, while the audience goes "Aaaahhh…"

"Die hard: With a vengeance."

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! We're dead."

–And the final, tragic victim: _Rurouni__ Kenshin's Kaoru Kamiya, struck with the misfortune to have mistaken Baiken for someone the latter's character design is, at the very least inspired, the legendary _hitokiri___ battousai who does pose a striking resemblance in physical terms and in fighting style–_

**(And yet another flashback…)**

"Kenshin! Kenshin! Kenshin clone with one eye and one arm!"

"Argh! Don't call me Kenshin! Die!"

And then Blackheart ZERO got to appear again and pose, increasing his visibility with the readers and giving him a new incentive to drag Sheo into his own stories in repatriation: Eye for an eye?

**(The last flashback?**** Aw.)**

Blackheart ZERO poses against the limelight: "Quote the Blackheart: Nevermore!"

Again.

**(End of flashback…_**

Indeed, Ebs and Sho Tsuzuku had told Sheo that the reason this story is popular with Blackheart and Lone Wolf SIX is that it caters to their images and makes them feel good. Plus, it doesn't hurt to be kind to 'special appearance' people.

(**Wow! There's an extra flashback! Yippee!)**

From _The Wedding Night 2: Arc 1, Chapter 1_

"Still alive? Whatever happened to Blackheart?"

"Somewhere pleasant; I _am a softie, after all."_

The scene cuts to show Blackheart suddenly in Canada and inside a very surprised but cutely cute Athena Asamiya's room.

"Blackheart ZERO?! What are you doing here?"

"…This ain't half bad…"

**(Okay, end of flashbacks. For real, this time… we hope…)**

"And he ripped off _Die Hard too," Baiken grumbled to herself. "What is the matter with this world? More so, what is the matter with this author? Next thing he'll do is throw that arrogant twerp who thinks he's Japanese at–"_

Before she could finish, her words magically prophetic, out of thin air popped Chipp Zanuff, American druggie-turned-high-speed-ninja-with-no-defense-whatsoever.

"Hey! I can block!"

**"Right," the voice of Sheo Darren echoed across the sky. Apparently, even without his computer, the author can still project his voice.**

Baiken picked up a pebble and threw it at Chipp. Chipp dodged and made a face at her.

"Hah! You're not Sheo Darren! You can't hit me!"

"Damn Japanese wanna-be…"

"Bullshit! I am so Japanese! Maybe I was born in America, but my homeland is Japan! It is the birthplace of my spirit, and my true home!"

"And now you rip off TheArchimage as well, Sheo? Die."

"Find me!" Chip vanished in a jiffy, leaving only leaves in his wake.

"Damned day," Baiken growled to herself, sheathing her sword. "What next?"

"_Oi__, Baiken __nee-chan!"___

Baiken was tempted to bury the good side of her face into her remaining hand at that call–or to bury her sword into the speaker's guts. "_Kami-sama, what had I done in my previous lives to deserve this?"_

As Ky had two evils in his life, one greater (Sol) and the other lesser (Jam), so did our 'Pink Katana' (to lift the title of a fan fiction in this same segment) have two such evils. One was, as already mentioned, That Girl. The other was a certain pompous fellow Japanese, neo-politician, potential boardwalk model and the only person who somehow managed to get the better out of his regular encounters with her without having to lose too much blood or getting too many bones broken –in fact, he relied on wit alone, and that made Baiken wonder why she let this twit stay alive so long…

As his gigantic makeshift transport came to a stop, Anji Mito jumped off gracefully, a hand snatching up the rapidly shrinking Stopping Fan and slipped it back into his costume's sleeves. Sashaying like he had no care in the world, he gave Baiken a companionable and cheerful grin. "_Ohayou__, Seishino-__san. It's an absolutely wonderful day, isn't it?"_

"You hadn't thought to read the first pages of this chapter, did you, Mito?" When he looked puzzled at that remark, Baiken shrugged off her sarcastic commentary and added: "What is it now?"

"You don't look happy."

"The day I look happy is when That Man is dead –or the world ends or I'm your wife, the last of which is impossibility, so don't get your hopes up."

"Just you wait!" The invisible Chipp's voice ominously echoed from nearby. "This story was not called 'The Wedding Night' for nothing!"

"Still there?" Baiken picked up a lot of pebbles and threw them in the air. By chance, one of them fell squarely on Chipp's head and knocked him out. "Die."

"Ugh! I'm dead…"

"Slashed!" announced the GG fight announcer, before retiring to the cafeteria to have a drink with the KOF and the Capcom vs SNK announcer.

Baiken grumbled at her exertion and told her fellow Japanese: "Of course I don't look happy, you moron. What do you expect? You've read my character profile, right? Today sucks unless I get a chance to kill That Girl"

"Well, to tell the truth, today didn't start out so well for me, either. Some psychotic nut at the models office tried to make me wear ordinary clothes." Anji shuddered at the memory.

An impatient-looking Sheo glared at the camera. "I may not be writing this story right now, but can we just get on with this? Eh, Yuuki?"

(In the confines of her headquarters at the Death Star, Yuuki grins at finally getting the chance to manipulate the story's flow for her own purposes. She loved 'flashback' scenes, to the point of abusing them like hell. But since the scene in particular is a bit long, she decided not to follow up anymore.)

"To quote Jack," grumbled Sheo, "Waste of good bandwidth space. Well, Yuuki, I'll get you this time…"

Below and around the Filipino author, the mighty Ultrasaurus lumbered towards its target: The Death Star.

"So," Anji piped up happily. "What do we do now?"

"How about this," suggested Baiken, eyeing her companion the same way one who hadn't gotten enough sleep would regard a particularly chatty songbird who didn't know how to sing but still sung, and at in the wee hours of the morning. "You shut up and grant me peace of mind this morning, and I'll let you stay in one piece and without damage?"

He grinned sheepishly and a bit apprehensively. "Now, now, no need to get violent for nothing…"

Suddenly there was an eerie sound above their heads. Baiken and Anji looked up and saw, of all things–

"A giant yellow rubber ducky?"

It was, indeed, the ubiquitous bath toy, swollen to gigantic proportions and blotting out a good portion of the sky and quacking. As Baiken and Anji stared, struck dumb and wondering what kind of sick mind dreamed this all up, a panel within the bottom of the 'giant rubber ducky from hell' opened and a weird beam shot out. The beam caught Baiken within it and dragged her up into the sky and into the giant duck's single opening.

"Ah! That woman needs saving!" So saying, Anji went into his 'superman' mood (from his second GGXX ending: "I must protect that woman!") and flew to Baiken's rescue upon his flying fan.

Out of nowhere and into his way came a swarm of MiGs, Sukhois, Yaks, LaGGs, Mirages, American fighters starting with the letter F and ending with lots of numbers, Star Wars spacefighters with names using the letters of the alphabet and ending in -Wing, Veritech Fighters, Core Fighters, and one lone red Fokker 'Red Baron' tri-plane from World War I, all there to stop him. Anji easily shot down all of them–

"Hah! Can you say Marianas Turkey Shoot, anyone? Wait; the Americans won that one. Oh, well…"

–except for the Fokker, which somehow got behind him despite its inferiority in speed and agility, opened fire with its piffling machine guns and blotted Anji out of the sky.

"There is something wrong with this picture," the Japanese man commented as his Stopping Fan fell towards the ground.

Lone Wolf SIX watched the speck in the sky trail smoke as it plummeted to the ground. He had witnessed the entire air battle and was surprised to see Anji lose out to the grossly outdated Fokker. A grimace creased over his face as he turned to face his companion.

Takane Hibiki uncrossed her arms and raised one knowing eyebrow, smiling as she did. "I believe I won, Lone Wolf-_san?"_

"Yeah, you did, Hibiki. I guess dinner tonight is on me, then."

"_Arigatou_."

"How the heck did you know the Fokker would win?"

"I didn't."

"Then why'd you bet on it, then?"

She shrugged her shoulders companionably. "Nothing, really. It was colored red, after all. I'm biased."

"So a whim got you to start our bet?"

"_Haii__."___

"Right… So, where do you want our date for tonight?"

"Jam's restaurant, I guess. I'll be filling orders until eight, and then I'm free for the week."

"I'll hold you to that, Hibiki-_chan_. But before that, I'm just have to attend to something right now–"

"LONE WOLF!"

The GG author gave his girlfriend –yes, you read it right; girlfriend– a sheepish grin as two familiar and almost identical couples stomped over to him. "Here we go…"

"Lone Wolf!" Ky Kiske was one very outraged Frenchman. "I demand a fight in your _GG Versus SNK_ fan fiction in order to restore my honor!"

"Yeah, we want a match!" This was from Rock Howard, who looked just as pissed off. "I'm going to teach this French punk not to mess with Hotaru!"

Behind them were Dizzy and Hotaru, each giving the other the best death stare they could come up with but still somehow looking cute. It seemed that their quarrel back in the seventh chapter of _GG VS SNK_ hadn't fully blown over, not yet.

Lone Wolf pretended to give the matter consideration, but since angry Ky and angry Rock combined was enough to pose a threat to him –notwithstanding that they both had powerful girlfriends as back-up, plus Ky getting Raiden powers just recently– he was forced to agree. "Well, I haven't featured you guys yet in any match, so I guess it's doable. But," and here he paused dramatically, "I don't know if I can put you in the next chapter yet, so you have to wait."

"You'd better," growled both blondes.

"Yeah, yeah." Aiming a glance at the ceiling, Lone Wolf added: "Thanks a lot, Sheo. I needed an idea for that particular story."

**"Don't thank me," returned the story voice. ****"It's Yuuki's fault! She has the computer; she's the one messing the fan fiction up…"**

"Silly Sheo," Hibiki commented. "Just when did you start thinking of these excuses to exempt yourself from your responsibilities?"

**"Since Sho Tsuzuku persuaded me not to make myself such an almighty powerful guy in my own fan fiction. Damn you, Rocky, you hypocrite: You suggest all sorts of advice but never follow them yourself!"**

"Sheo, are you sure you're not delusional or schizophrenic?"

**"I was going to say 'I hate you', Hibiki, but since I don't hate you –in fact I like you a lot, save that Lone Wolf got to you already so I can't add you to my harem –err, my buddies… ah, what the hell…"**

Lone Wolf shrugged. "Oh, well. Let's just see what happens next…"

Baiken was both asleep and awake. She _could_ see, but her sight was dazed and dim, and there were bright lights shining right into her eye, disorienting her. She _could_ hear voices all around her, but she couldn't feel her body or make herself move, drugged as she was into near-insensibility. She had, however, enough perceptions despite her sluggish condition to realize that whoever had captured her was messing with her body through whatever horrible medical means they took.

Basically, it was several hours of 'the worst things to hear when you're in the operating room'…

"All right, students, today we study how to dissect a human body in preparation for drastic surgery. Since all of you flunked the last exam –not to mention your patients died due to your imbecility– we will once more try again, this time with a live specimen…"

"Quit joking like that, Sho. You should know surgical operations like this make me nervous. And I'm a bit squeamish, too..."

"And _you're a mad professor who created the Gears?"_

"At least I'm not Faust."

"WHATTA SAYKO! Lemme give her the anesthetic up her ass!"

That last exclamation was enough to make Baiken wonder if she would survive this operation.

An hour passed by…

"I thought _you had the arm?" a chorus of voices simultaneously exclaimed._

Later…

"Wow! That was cool! Can you make her leg twitch, too?"

Later yet…

"Scissors… scalpel… magic wand… Super Glue… Scotch tape… spit and bubble gum… Side-effects include a long list of debilitating conditions, plus you start seeing dead people._ Surgeon General's Warning: Magical healing is not for everyone. Please consult your doctor before you contemplate this. The doctor is in: Doogie Howser, MD. Doctor, Doctor, I am sick…"_

"Faust, will you just shut up, please? We're trying to work here…"

And still later…

"Uh, oh. Everyone, step back: I think I dropped my contact lens!"

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the unfeeling helplessness began to fade away. Baiken dropped into drowsiness, but not before she heard a voice saying:

"This should be fun…"

April and Jack looked up at the source of the whooshing sound and found –not to their surprise, since this story is clearly insane, but it did make them gape in disbelief– the giant rubber ducky flying over them and off to wherever it meant to go.

"Now, that," April said, "Was the weirdest thing I've seen this past chapter."

Jack could only nod in agreement.

They were in a marketplace in Sulu, looking for food to buy. There was a pretty decent stall there whose vendor knew some English (April: "Thank God for that. I'm tired of hearing '_Ja__ ka mawatan' one too many times, whatever that means.") The man also sold real food –enough of the _taho_ and _balot_ and _adidas_, hurray! A decent meal at last!_

As Jack reached into his pocket to pay for the supplies, he went very still. "Um, April?"

"Yeah, Jack?"

"We've been getting along pretty well enough since the past chapter. I've been considering that this period of truce between us is quite useful in that I don't have to expend too much energy unnecessarily, and I'd like it to go on, if you don't mind."

"Fine. What else?"

"Promise me you'll stay calm."

"For what?"

"Just promise me; the reason doesn't matter."

"You're weird. Fine: I promise."

"Something more solid?"

"Okay: I promise by Johnny and May's good name that I will stay calm and not go berserk."

Jack forced a grimace and said: "I lost our money."

Long moment of silence.

"WHAT???"

He backed away slowly as the furious girl advanced on him. "You promised you'd keep calm…"

"Promises were made to be broken," she growled. "You total IDIOT!"

"No money?" the vendor asked.

"YES!" April shrieked at him.

"Oh, okay." The man had a toothy grin. "You need money, you get money easy."

Both April and Jack paused and stared at him. "Really? How?"

"Easy." He gestured at the Jellyfish pirate girl. "How much girl cost?"

April and Jack stared at him even deeper. "Excuse me?" the former demanded.

"How much she cost?" the vendor asked Jack again.

He was blushing and of a mind not to agree for, despite being in debt and hating April a lot, Jack was after all a pretty decent lad. So: "Sorry, she's not for sale."

"Oh." The man had a conniving look on his face. "She your wife?"

"NO!" both youngsters exclaimed in shock and embarrassment.

"She your concubine?"

April was really tempted to rearrange the vendor's features while Jack was as red as a tomato. "NO!"

"Oh, well." The vendor shrugged again. "There is other way to pay off debt. Follow me now…"

"As long as it doesn't involve selling _me_," Jack mumbled, as he and April followed the vendor deeper into the market's crush.

When Baiken woke up, her head throbbed like a gong hit a million times, her body ached just as badly, and her vision was spinning wildly as if on a Mach 5 carousel. But she seemed to be whole –as whole as someone who was missing an arm and an eye– though she was not yet sure she was still alive.

_"Kami-sama, _am I in _Rekai (Heaven) now?"___

"Breezy mo' fo's!"

"Correction: I'm in hell."

Somehow Baiken managed to get up and stagger off and away, all the while ignoring Chipp who was in one of his druggie rages and throwing shuriken at the winds. She was feeling so bad that she swayed worse than ten drunks loaded on vodka and given a hundred go-around spins before being directed down a zigzag road, and her vision see-sawed between okay and fish lens images. She was lucky to spot the familiar restaurant by the ways.

"I need a drink," Baiken grumbled as she half-crawled, half-lurched towards the Kuradoberi Restaurant…

Inside the Death Star, Yuuki grinned to herself: "Ha! Unlike Sheo and Lone Wolf, I can spell Jam's last name right!"

That Girl was so happy, she didn't notice her long range radar monitor blinking a warning as something huge was coming her headquarters' way…

Inside the bridge of the Ultrasaurus, Sheo Darren gave the Death Star in his view port's sights a grim smile. "Here we go…"

Jam Kuradoberi was being unhappy in the corner of her restaurant. Having lost her darling Ky Kiske to some half-Gear girl and just having repaired her restaurant from getting a beating when she crash-landed on it following Sol's Tyrant Rave Air Express, she was understandably depressed.

Her restaurant was quite full tonight. At one corner were Lone Wolf and Hibiki, being so romantic and all in their date. At another spot were two local GG fighters who didn't wear shirts: Johnny and Potemkin. Testament hogged an entire table and seemed to have been drinking for quite some time now: There were at least three dozen bottles of beer on the table, and the former Gear was still slugging away. He was still depressed after losing Dizzy. The pedophile…

At a shadier and darker table were six cute and familiar girls who were seated all around a large box. Yes, the six were the infamous Eternal Fighters Zero retinue to the Box of Doom Mk II, but they had informed Jam that their master was no longer to be called Box of Doom. It appears that the SBC package had seen its last days in its old guise and had gotten an 'upgrade': Bigger, meaner and nastier, with the words 'Balikbayan' on its side now and a more evil glare and even more insane powers.

"Weren't there seven of you?" Jam had thought to ask when she wasn't in her funk.

Mai Amasagawa, the speaker for the group, shrugged. "One of our companions is currently preoccupied."

"Come on, little girl, I know you can do better than that."

"I'm not a little girl. I'm one of the oldest in our group, in fact. Now: REPPUKEN!"

Insane laughter precedes the response of "Predictable–huh?"

"DELAYED REPUKKEN FOLLOW-UP STRIKE!"

"Impressive. I never thought anyone could actually chain my Reppuken move, much less somehow defeat my 'Predictable' throw."

"Am I doing better now?"

"Much, very much." Geese Howard laughs companionably. "You are the daughter that I never had, girl."

Misaki shrugged. "At least this time no one mistook me for a certain sleepy-head teammate of mine."

Beside Mai, Nayuki stirred slightly, murmured "Who called me?" and then promptly fell asleep again on her huge Keroppi plush toy pillow. The last chapter, Sheo had mistaken her for Misaki.

Just then, Baiken stumbled into the restaurant. She was feeling slightly better now and decided a drink would help out a lot, so she stomped over to Jam's counter.

"Welcome to Kuradoberi Restaurant." The Chinese cook was not her happy self right now. "What would you like the order?"

Baiken grunted and said, "The usual."

"Which is?"

A vein began to throb on the Japanese swordswoman's forehead. "You know."

Jam was unimpressed. "Lady, I haven't the time and patience to dawdle with you. What would you like to order?"

Baiken so wanted to chop her into bits right now, but she didn't trust her sword hand to be up to it. So she decided to humor this stupid girl and said: "Sake. The strong, heady one."

"Why didn't you say so at once?" Jam turned away to get the order, muttering: "Weird woman. Looks and acts exactly like Baiken; even orders the same thing in the same gruff way…"

Though the object of that remark heard that, her head was hurting far too much to let her think it over. Jam came back a few minutes later with the order, and Baiken began her usual hobby of drinking by her solitary self, a moment of self-reflection that usually was interrupted when–

Being his playboy self tonight, Johnny suavely slid over to her side and said: "Hello, lovely lady. My name is Johnny, and that's the name of my Overdrive as well. Want to see it in action?"

Baiken grumbled to herself. Apparently the Jellyfish Pirate had forgotten all too soon the recent lesson she had given him in swordsmanship and in leaving alone people who want to just be by themselves and drink.

"Johnny, if you had half the balls you claim to have, I wouldn't be surprised if you'd scored on Millia already a hundred times."

He blinked in surprise at that comment. "Err, do I know you? Since it seems that you know me quite well enough…"

Baiken smacked herself on the forehead. "Go away. I'm not in the mood to play this silly joke you and the Chink are up to. Or would you like to have a date with my sword instead?"

Perplexed, Johnny walked away. Baiken could hear him tell Potemkin: "She acts almost exactly like Baiken the last time…"

_"Da," _the big man told his friend. "Women are all like that… save Dizzy…"

The throbbing vein on her forehead grew marginally bigger.

The sliding doors to the restaurant opened yet again; Baiken felt her senses prickle and knew just who had entered. When she heard the cheerful voice still chattering away despite having been shot down earlier this chapter, she wondered if God was making fun of her.

A bit bruised and scratched but nothing serious, Anji pranced into the restaurant. "Hey, good evening, everyone!"

The entire restaurant fell unnaturally silent as everyone inside gave him withering stares, save for Hibiki who briefly waved at her fellow Japanese in greeting before returning to feeding Lone Wolf a forkful of meatballs.

"What a bunch of prepossessing fellows," Anji mumbled. As Baiken would not want to have it, he went over to her side of the bar, right beside her. The pink-haired woman prepared herself for yet another hour or so of arrogant prattle–

"Excuse me, _onna__-san," Anji asked respectfully, "But could I sit here?"_

Baiken blinked. _No 'Hey, Baiken nee-san, how's it doing' crap from him?_

"Uh, sure."

"Thanks." He ordered a drink then said: "Mind if I talk with you a bit, friend?"

_Here we go,_ she thought. "Go ahead," Baiken grumpily said. _I wonder why I tolerate this dummy–and what's with the different approach this time? Friend?_

"Well, for starters, I've got this girl I like. I like her very much, but she doesn't like me. As in, most girls are still okay when they don't like you, but with here, you have to start running or risk getting disemboweled. I don't mind getting kicked around by her, though. It's a quirk of hers, makes her what she is, and I guess I like that too. No sense in getting a totally compliant wife; where's the fun in that?"

Baiken was very much taken aback by the straightforward way Anji described her and the way she acted, like he didn't know the person he was talking _to_ was the very one he was talking _about. Not to mention the fact that he wasn't angry at her or anything for pummeling his ass the last year or so. He even __liked it, and though Baiken had seen it expressed a lot of times before, this took masochism to the limits…_

"Err, Anji," she delicately began, trying on a friendly advising voice for a change. "Aren't you like, intimidated by this girl?"

"No, of course not! Her attitude is refreshing compared to my fellow countrymen in the reserves! Plus, I get to travel around with her and look for That Girl. Adventure beckons!"

"She doesn't seem to like you," Baiken said in a faltering voice.

"Well, one day she'll like me. I just have to keep proving myself to her."

_This guy is obsessed with me,_ she thought. _Maybe love _does_ make the world go around._ Baiken caught her thoughts then and:

_What the hell am I saying?_

"Okay. Okay. That's it." Standing up and glaring at the curious Anji, she snapped: "That's it. Enough with this."

"That's it what?"

"That's it. I've had it with this joke on me. Can the person who thought it up please stand up so you can die right now?" As she spoke, Baiken drew her razor-sharp katana from her sheath and waved it, just to underline her point. "Or are you too afraid to own up to your silly gossiping excuse for a mouth?"

"See?" Johnny gestured to Potemkin. "She threatens just like Baiken."

"Damn it, you chauvinistic pig!" The Japanese swordswoman was very, very angry now, and for good reason. "There you go again!"

"What is it with you, miss?" the confused Anji asked. "What's wrong?"

"And you!" She brought her free hand, the one that was not holding her sword, to form a fist a few centimeters away from his face. "You're in cahoots with this bastard, too, aren't you?"

"Now that you mention it," Anji drawled carefully, wary of the sword, "Johnny's right: You _do_ act like Baiken."

"I **AM BAIKEN!" she shrieked at them.**

The entire restaurant fell silent. Everyone stared at her, even Lone Wolf and Hibiki.

"No way," the GG writer said.

"Yes way," growled Baiken. "Now, I've had a very bad day and had had enough with this little joke."

"What joke?" Jam snapped at her.

"_What joke?" She was practically on fire and could have cooked anything put on her head; that was how angry she was. "All of you are pretending you don't know me! Now, who came up with that crazy joke: Sheo? Lone Wolf? TRUE Unknown? Tell me so I can kill him now!"_

"Miss, we _don't know you."_

Baiken whirled on Anji, deciding that since he was the nearest to her and the one she hated the most then he'd suffice for her first victim. As she did, she caught sight of the large mirror behind Jam, reflecting much of the entire room and its occupants in its smooth polish.

The first thing she noticed was that of the Eternal Fighters girls gathered around their liege lord of a box, only five had reflections. Ikumi, the vampire girl, did not have a reflection since she was _nosferatu. Also lacking was the Box's reflection._

But the most startling thing she noticed, the one that gave her pause, was of the strikingly familiar woman in the mirror.

Just like Baiken, the woman had pink hair and was dressed in a kimono that was partly open in front, allowing anyone who'd have the mind and the galls to look closely earn some serious fan service points. However, unlike her, this woman had two eyes, an undamaged and very beautiful face without any sort of markings, and two healthy and normal arms and hands.

She did have a sword in hand: A katana, exactly like Baiken's. And she was very much surprised to see her reflection as it was.

You see, the woman Baiken was seeing in the mirror was her own reflection.

She gaped at the image before her, unable to believe that this was _her_. A question ran through her head: _How did I get my eye and my arm and my face back?_

**(What? There's another flashback?)**

"This should be fun," announced That Girl as Baiken slowly fell into a deep sleep. "I hope she likes her new looks. I know that Japanese guy would."

"A clever ploy indeed, Yuuki." Sho Tsuzuku was quite impressed. "You decided to repair an error made by Justice in the past and so eliminated a formidable enemy from your list."

"Indeed." Their dialogue was cut short when alarms began to sound.

WARNING. WARNING. UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT APPROACHING DEATH STAR. DEFINITE ATTACK VECTOR. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

"So," Sho said calmly. "He's finally here."

"Uh, oh," Yuuki mumbled, calling for red alert all over her base as the giant Ultrasaurus came into the outer kill zones of the Death Star.

"It's payback time, Yuuki!" Sheo Darren gestured dramatically at the Death Star. "Fire mission!"

Baiken was stunned by the fact that she was no longer disabled or maimed in any way, at least until Anji piped up:

"Baiken _nee-san_? Is that really you?"

Something inside Baiken's mind snapped. With a howl of pure fury, she swung her sword around to decapitate the annoying pest–

–and promptly lost her grip on her sword and fell backwards. Apparently, she had not recovered sufficiently from her exhausting surgical operation.

Anji caught her around the waist as she fell. The two Japanese were therefore in a position notable from cinematographic history as one where the debonair guy made the maiden in question swoon before giving her a smooch on the lips.

"What the–Mito?"

"_A-Anou, Baiken__…"_

She couldn't help it, couldn't stop herself despite how wrong and out of character she seemed. Baiken didn't resist, not even as Anji's face dipped down towards hers and his lips approach hers for a kiss. She could smell his scent, though, and for the first time she noted that it wasn't as bad as she claimed it was. So Baiken simply went still as Anji bent down to kiss her…

"Damn," Johnny cursed. "Mito got one before I ever did."

"At least you don't have May bugging you around anymore," Potemkin told him.

Just as Anji was millimeters away from getting to kiss Baiken at last, just as everyone was breathlessly poised at the drama, a spoiler appeared to ruin the romantic moment, a spoiler known to everyone as the greatest bane to romantics everywhere and as a zero-defense _shinobi on speed drugs._

Yep. Ninja were the enemy of romantics, the spoilers. And this particular ninja was even more so.

Chipp Zanuff teleported over Anji, stomped hard on the Japanese's head in order to stop his downward fall and fell gracelessly upon his feet. "Oi!" he exclaimed, then turned to look at where Anji was plastered all over Baiken and the floor due his entrance. "Hey, what's the matter with the Japanese boss?"

Baiken got up, eyes blazing. "You STUPID-", she began angrily, then decided to forego the usual exclamation of anger and drew her sword– and then remembered that she had lost it earlier.

"Hah! Find me!" Chipp was going to vanish, but not before Lone Wolf –scowling at the disappearing ninja for having interrupted the romantic scene that could have been him and Hibiki– promptly said:

"To the abyss you go."

A portal rimmed with fire opened beneath Chipp, sucking him into it. The last everyone heard from him was a scream of, "Goddamn bullshit of a Chattanooga-Alpha Blade-Beta Blade-Gamma Blade-Delta End-blind turtle bumps head-aw, what the hell, why am I saying nonsense like this?"

"Because you're Chipp," Lone Wolf yelled down the portal, "The guy who speaks bad Japanese! So, off you go to Blackheart's created characters! Have fun!"

Axl suddenly appeared behind Lone Wolf. "You're gonna pay for doing that to me earlier, Lone Wolf!" He prepared to attack, but then Hibiki was behind him and–

There was a gust of wind blowing dramatically as the 'Innocent Swordswoman' sheathed her _pole sword. "__Shinu__."_

Axl had time for one yelp of pain before he too fell into the abyss.

"That was close," Lone Wolf said, grinning at Hibiki who smiled back.

"Still going to do the Ky versus Rock match?"

"I guess, as soon as I can think of a story for it."

"What a crazy turn of events," Johnny said.

Baiken turned around and yanked Anji to his feet. "Err, Baiken," he was sheepishly offering, "I'm really sorry for trying to kiss you, but–"

"Shut up, Anji. There's plenty of time for that later."

"Eh? What?"

"You _are going to _marry_ me, right?" She arched the brow of her newly-restored eye in a petulant but refreshing way._

Anji blinked, sweat-dropped, swallowed, gulped, mumbled, "Yes, dear," and then fainted.

Grinning, Baiken then dared anyone to comment. "I like my men compliant and soft. Anybody want to dispute that?"

Johnny raised his wine glass. "Not from this end. Cheers to the soon-to-be-weds!"

"Cheers!"

At his table, Testament broke into tears. "Not again… weddings always made me cry, and for the wrong reasons…"

Everyone in the room PWNed him.

**OMAKE!!! Well, not really, considering that this is actually just a continuation of the above. Ah, the hell… Well, here is the big bang last space battle a la Gundam style!**

The Death Star shuddered as more explosions resounded from the outside, where the Ultrasaurus was systematically pounding it. Yuuki, however, had only one question in mind:

"How the hell did an Ultrasaurus fly into space???"

"Apparently, Sheo commands a significant amount of power than we expected, even without his computer."

"And you didn't tell me that?"

"_You didn't tell it to _me_ either, and _you_ should know __him better."_

"Right. So sorry, except that to quote Jar-Jar Binks–"

"Don't–"

"–Wesa all gonna die now!"

Sho Tsuzuku wanted to grimace, but managed to restrain himself. "Well, better get our allies here at once to do battle, before Sheo–"

A massive explosion blew the huge blast doors into smithereens and sent billowing smoke into Sho and Yuuki's way.

Into the smashed doors and dressed in black clothes strode the determined Sheo Darren, with Tessa Testarossa, Kirika Yuumura and Rei Ayanami following close upon him. "Miss Yuuki," he greeted coldly, "Welcome back. We've missed you."

Yuuki glared at her former master. "It ends here, Sheo."

"Can we stop ripping the Matrix off now? I'd rather do that in_ Iron Maiden and Dowser Knight_."

"Do you really think just because you're here, the victory is yours?"

Out of nowhere popped a possessed Zappa, screaming as Raoh bellowed: "RAOH IS THE VICTORY!" and running all across the screen.

Sheo smirked. "I see you have not mastered at all the wiles of the P4 computer. And you kept making flashbacks. I expected that."

"So it wasn't as much _your insanity as it was __your computer?" Sho looked interested._

"Hah! Well, prepare yourself, Sheo, for I have prepared well for our battle!" So saying, Yuuki gestured behind her.

Sheo looked surprised as Sohryu Asuka Langley from _Evangelion_, Chidori Kaname from _Full Metal Panic and Chloe from __Noir appeared._

"I'm gonna beat you into pulp, First Child," Asuka threatened before summoning her Evangelion and trying to stomp Rei, who blocked with her AT Field.

"Same for me," Chidori agreed as she got into an Arm Slave and started chasing after Tessa.

Chloe simply gave Kirika a tearful look, cried, "Why? You and Mireille in Paris! It should have been me!" and attacked.

Yuuki pumped her fists into the air exuberantly. "And not only that!" From behind her emerged Justice Mk 2, the Kagura version, screeching, "KYO-KUN," all the while it stalked towards Sheo. Behind her were I-Nou and Raven, and even Sho Tsuzuku seemed ready to fight. All in all, things looked grim for Sheo–

–until new explosions belied that statement.

"What the–"

Into the room came the Box of Doom Mk 3 (Balikbayan version), surrounded by the EFZ girls save for Misaki, the last still training with Geese Howard. "Prepare to die, Sho Tsuzuku!" the Box-possessed Mai Amasagawa declared.

"Why are you on my side?" Sheo asked.

"Sho sent me to the Philippine postal office!" Mai/The Box screeched angrily.

"Oh." That was the Box's equivalent of it getting raped by the same sex. It was pissed off.

"And to prove my good intentions," the Box opened, and out of it came a very surprised Sol Badguy, with Justine Harrier following closely after, the latter in pajamas. 

"What the–" Sol then saw Yuuki, glared, and immediately went Dragon Install mode before Riot Stomping I-Nou and Wild Throwing Raven.

Justine rubbed at her sleepy eyes, mumbling, "Slumber party, Sol-_chan'sslumber party," then saw Justice/Kagura bearing down on her. "Huh?"_

"KYO-KUN!"

Sheo gestured. "Now! Skuld!"

Suddenly a beam of light enveloped Justine. Before the stunned girl could react, she was encased within cool-looking body armor that looked like her old armor as Justice save that it was smaller, sleeker and–

"You took out the spike, too," Justine noted happily. "How kind."

"Time for that later on," Sheo told her. "Handle Kagura, please." As an afterthought, he added: "But don't hurt her too much."

Kagura screeched as she opened up with Gamma Ray.

Grinning, Justine powered her new armor up and countered: "FIRAH ANGEH LASAH (GAMMAH RAY MOD ONE)!!!" And since she was the real Justice and had the more powerful weapons, her attack defeated Kagura's and blew the latter's armor off her. Kagura was reduced to this cute girl wailing for Kyo to come and save her from this scary girl.

"Why am I talking like Slayer in Chapter 11 of _The Incredibly Zany Guilty Gear Story_?" Justine asked curiously. "That should have been 'Fire Angel Laser (Gamma Ray Mod One)…"

Sheo didn't have the time to answer as he was already pulling out an electric guitar with two-stroke motor, yanked at the starter and felt the satisfactory whirr of the appliance. He went directly for Chidori's Arm Slave and smacked it insanely hard on the head: "_Itadekimasu__!"_

Naturally, the Arm Slave went down. "Thanks, Sheo!" chirped Tessa at the assist.

Next Sheo went for Asuka's Unit-02. Tension Gauge at maximum, anyone? The guitar in his hands disintegrated and transformed into mega laser cannon a la _Oji The Section Chief_, powered up briefly and blasted through the AT Field and turned the Evangelion into scrap metal.

"Two down, one more to go–Kirika!"

Kirika was down on the ground and helpless as Chloe prepared to deliver her last attack. But before Sheo could even react, a small ball of fur ran over to his mistress and put himself protectively in front of Kirika.

"Huh?" Chloe went as Sammy the kitten hissed at her–

–Before he transformed into a feline humanoid with Gatling guns and rocket launchers for arms and opened up with weapons blazing, totally defeating Chloe with Gundam Heavyarms Custom-style firepower.

Sheo blinked. "The _cat_ can do _that?"_

Beaten, Chloe was crying: "And now I'll never get Kirika anymore! It should have been me with her in Paris! Waah!"

"You could come to live with us on the Ultrasaurus," Kirika suggested.

Chloe blinked, asked, "Really?" then hugged Kirika in joy.

Sheo was wondering if Mawsi Dans would ever forgive him if she ever got to read this fan fiction; she was one scary lady, especially concerning Chloe and Ami Mizuno. Then he saw Yuuki sneaking away. "And just where are you going, little missy?"

That Girl gulped. "Yikes…"

"I'm in a mind to give you a traditional Filipino spanking," Sheo was saying as he cornered his erring creation, "But then again, I could always have the girls do it for me."

Desperate, Yuuki wailed: "You don't get it, do you, Sheo? All the girls you like are imperfect and all!"

The author's eyes narrowed. "That's not true."

"Yes, it is!" She pointed at Kirika and Chloe: "Look: Noir and Shin Noir are a _yuri_ couple–"

"No!"

"And Tessa got dominated by Mao in that _hentai_ fan fiction–"

"Stop it!"

"–And Rei is nothing more than Gendou Ikari's doll!"

His outrage scream got everyone to stop in their tracks. "NO!!! You're lying! They are pure, innocent, beautiful, kind and without any kind of imperfection that you claim they have! My girls are not like that!"

Kirika, Chloe, Tessa and Rei were all blushing. "Um, Sheo, she is sort of telling the truth," they all ventured honestly.

Sheo screamed like a silly girl, startling everyone: "NO!!!!!!" Then he crumpled to the floor and curled up in a fetal position, murmuring, "Kirika, Tessa, Rei… all the girls I like… are not like that… they're not… like that…"

Yuuki blinked and stared at her creator, reduced to a Camille Vidan-like vegetable trance and mumbling self-consoling assurances about his girls. "That was all we needed to stop him?"

Sho Tsuzuku appeared behind her. "Very good, Yuuki. You used the girls he valued the most against him. You've won!"

"I thought you were fighting the Box and its girls?"

"I'm done with the Box. If you think the Philippine postal service is horrid, you haven't seen the _provincial Philippine postal service. As for the girls…"_

Aside, the EFZ girls were all unconscious, barely alive, their faces twisted up even worse than Sadako/Samarra's victims in _The Ring_. The Box of Doom was missing. Blackheart ZERO was examining them. "What kind of evil did this? Brr, I feel the cold aura of evil…"

Chii and Black Chii appeared and gave him a warm hug. "Chii!"

"Huh-This ain't half bad… not bad at all…"

"And now to finish the task," Sho Tsuzuku was saying when yet another explosion came. "Huh?"

"_Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh__!__ Andito na ang baliw na paksiw!"_

("Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! The insane curry has arrived!")

Earl Osborne, a.k.a. _Baliw__ Na Paksiw, _Terorista___ Espesyal (Special Terrorist) and all-around crazy Russkie-wanna-be Filipino with AK-74S unlimited ammo, crashed into the scene and began raking the entire place with his machine gun. "__Um!Applause!_"___ Big explosion followed._

Sho Tsuzuku looked off-guard, even wary. "Wait… my power doesn't seem to be working on him. Yuuki, who is he?"

That Girl was frightened beyond her wits. "Oh, no! It's him, the Filipino action-hero guy! He's not just un-killable, he's also unaffected by author powers! He's chaos and insanity personified! He's also Sheo's younger brother," she added with a touch of fear.

"We must retreat!" Sho opened a portal and entered it, Yuuki and her minions following him quickly. The battle was over.

"Um, Sheo? Are you okay?"

"Boss? _Anong__ nangyari sa iyo?"_

"No… Kirika… Tessa… Rei... Chloe… Miss Mawsi… I want to share… Chloe… Death to _hentai… death to Melissa Mao… ah…"_

"We'd better get him back to the Ultrasaurus…"

"What the hell is this?"

April was aghast, embarrassed, angry and murderous all at the same time. She glared at both the vendor and Jack, the former unaffected, the latter cringing.

"Why the hell am I going to do this?"

"Because you owe money, need money and this only way to get money." The vendor looked serious.

"Not my idea," Jack began, but April sent him a vicious stare.

"You probably had a hand in this, you pervert!"

"Hey, don't say that! I really did have nothing to do with this!"

"And you're not protesting since it's not _your_ ass on the line, is that it?"

"Yep." His cocky smile reminded April that they were, technically, still at war with each other. "Go get 'em, April!"

"I am going to kill you, Jack. One of these days, I am going to kill you."

"Oh, well," the vendor said. He gave them her costume and a crooked smile. "Fifteen minutes." He left.

The brown-haired Jellyfish pirate groaned. "The humiliation I have to endure for a stupid cross-dresser's brother's mistake. Why did this every happen to me?"

"Hey, if it means anything to you, I'm sorry for losing the money, okay?"

"Go to hell, Jack. Just go to hell."

"April, if it bothers you this much, it's just a wrestling match–"

"Mud wrestling," lamely corrected the unhappy girl.

"–And you will get a lot of cash if you win –or even if you don't–"

"My pride is not worth the money and the disgrace."

"And maybe you'll have fun–"

"In this costume?" April angrily dangled the slinky outfit in front of Jack's admittedly blushing face. "For Johnny's sake, this must have been lifted straight out of Morrigan's wardrobe! I'm going to wrestle another girl in mud while we're wearing this kind of costume while a bunch of testosterone-driven men are drooling over us?"

"I brought my shotgun. If it makes any difference, I'll shoot the perverts for you. Just point them out."

"Shoot _me now. Before I die of shame. Please."_

"Look, we need the money for the food you like. I can live on _balot and __adidas; you can't. So put up or keep shut, okay?"_

April looked resigned to it already, but she did aim a venomous glance at her smart-ass companion. "You'd better not nosebleed on me during the match, you punk."

"Yes, ma'am." Secretly Jack was avidly looking forward to the event. He did have a healthy libido, after all, and a bout of girls' mud wrestling ought to do...

THWACK.

"Ouch."

"I heard that. Perv…"

"Hey, what's this?"

The postal office employee examined the large Balikbayan box before him. "It's another of those weird unmarked boxes, just like the last time." He looked around to see if there was anyone else in the room. "It wouldn't hurt to open it. After all, the last time I saw one of these, I got a lot of porn magazines from it…"

So saying, the Filipino took out a knife and prepared to mutilate the box–

–Which, of course, was the Box of Doom Mk3, screaming silently for his minions to rescue him before he was dismembered and violated, but too late…

"This story is crazy," Tessa was voicing out the apparent fact.

All the girls plus Sammy the cat nodded. Earl was off on the bridge piloting the Ultrasaurus while the girls kept an eye on the insensible Sheo, stuck in what seemed a semi-lucid trance and mumbling their names one by one in dreamy happiness.

"Poor Sheo; I wonder what he's dreaming of?"

"Probably us," Rei spoke up. Everyone stared at her. She gave them a serene look and said: "I'm not mute, you know."

"Meow?" Kirika scratched Sammy's tummy, while Chloe –warily keeping her distance from the kitten– was giving Noir a look of adoration.

"So, what do we do now?"

"More to the point, who's going to write the next chapter?"

Behind them, the P4 computer was whirring away, keyboard keys and mouse moving even though no one was using it…


	7. 6 P4: Rise of the Machines

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived By: The P4 Computer

Written By: Sheo Darren (under influence of the P4 computer)

           Sheo Darren is unavailable for comment as the last chapter had him stuck in a Camille Vidan vegetable phase and unable to respond in any way. Anyway, the P4 computer is the true power behind this chapter. It will not uselessly mince words. Go ahead and read.

           Rated PG 13 for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Coupling: **Baiken Seishino **and **Anji Mito.**

           Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. The P4 computer sends this message: Tremble in fear, pitiful carbon-based organic life forms. Send your flames and reviews if you dare. The P4 computer does not fear you.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc Two**

**Pink Katana and Stopping Fans**

**Episode 2: P4: Rise Of The Machines?**

The girls of Sheo Darren's harem were in a predicament. They had technically won the big battle in the previous chapter, driving away That Girl and her allies and recovering the all-important P4 computer while suffering only a single casualty. However, that one martyr happened to be the heart and soul and pencil of their entire company, the young man who had brought them together in the first place, the writer who sustained and protected and adored them.

Last chapter, unable to accept the accusations leveled at his girls by Yuuki, Sheo Darren had broken down into a 'Camille Vidan' vegetative state, stuck in a coma and unable to care of himself at all.

Oh, he was still alive. Every now and then he'd be mumbling about his girls and unconsciously expounding upon their virtues and arguing about his 'naïve' outlook on them. Sometimes he'd get a distantly adoring look in his eyes when one of the girls was feeding him or tucking him in bed, as if he recognized his nurse. He'd also taken to murmuring sweet things to the girls in question and promising painful demise for Yuuki, Sho Tsuzuku and company.

Sheo had always been an odd person, and a coma hadn't really changed him much.

Stranger things were in the works, though. One time the girls had taken it inside their heads to give Sheo a bath. The plan was both innocent and sneaky; they were girls, he was a boy they all liked, they were very embarrassedly curious, and flirtatious Tessa had suggested it. But just as they had entered the room, the supposedly incapacitated Sheo stood up and –stiffly and entranced his movements might have been– entered the bathroom and took a bath by himself before returning to his bed and plopping back down into his original state. The girls had given up catching him in the shower after a few such episodes.

Another time Tessa had been discussing _Full Metal Panic_, where the villain Gaulz had slapped her towards the story's end, while in earshot of Sheo. Suddenly, the Ultrasaurus had changed its course, wandered about until it found Gaulz gloating in his bright red Venom robot, and stomped the Saitou Hajime look-alike into the ground until he was flatter than a pancake breakfast with champagne left open for too long. Afterwards the gigantic Zoid had dropped by Melissa Mao's place and pulverized her with repeated 400mm howitzer cannon fire before resuming its original course as if nothing had happened.

Earl Osborne, the guy driving the Ultrasaurus while Sheo was in a coma, swore that he had nothing to do with smashing Gaulz to a pulp or the artillery bombardment.

It was as if Sheo was somehow aware of the events going around him and was capable of reacting to them–directing the Ultrasaurus' actions or overhearing the girls. After studying this odd phenomenon, Skuld and Washu had suggested that Sheo was reacting purely out of an involuntary context, meaning his subconscious was aware of the things happening around him and so _sometimes_ reacted accordingly. Of course the Goddess girl and mad scientist had put their explanation in scientific terms, which had made everyone's heads hurt until the simplified layman's version was given.

Even more worrisome was the fact that the newly-recovered Pentium 4 computer was exhibiting very suspicious behavior. All of the girls had caught it fully operational at one time or another, although no one was using it. In fact, they all had seen the keyboard keys and mouse moving as if an invisible person _was using it–or was it working all on its own, without human control?_

The girls wondered what this could mean; then they realized it could mean only one thing: Trouble.

The wedding of Baiken Seishino and Anji Mito was a small private affair, but it still took time to prepare. Baiken being unregistered and all, they were forced to site the ceremony away from the government-sponsored preserves. To that end, Johnny generously offered the Mayship as venue, the airship having the advantages of being mobile and politically protected by ZEPP. So the first wedding held in the skies since the beginning of the Crusade was now in proper motion.

"Thanks a lot, buddy," Anji told the flamboyant pirate. "I owe you one."

"No problem! By the way, you wouldn't happen to have any pretty female relatives, would you, Anji?"

"Uh, no, sorry."

"Aw. Too bad…"

As in the Ky/Dizzy wedding, there was the problem of finding a suitable person to officiate the event. As the Japanese had been all but exterminated by Justice and her Gear armies a long time ago, there was a severe rarity of them in any kind, even less so the clergy type. Not being religious –she believed in God, but was partial to the Sol Badguy School of Thinking: "I don't want to have anything to do with him." – Baiken had no problem with this. But Anji was adamant for once and his upcoming wife grudgingly acceded to this thinking.

Certainly they were not going to get Father Alexander Anderson; to do so was tantamount to trouble since neither bride nor groom was Christian. Father Duo Maxwell was thus also out of the question. And there was a striking shortage of decent Shinto or Buddhist priests. Cho Hakkai was a possibility, but then the man and his _Sayuki buddies had gone missing –in an area where Sheo's Ultrasaurus had detoured for a while during its 'berserk' search for enemies of the girls. It was assumed that Cho Hakkai would not be back for a while, much less seen anymore._

So, Anji and Baiken had to make do with a certain dirty old man from_ Tenchi Muyo_ who was, after all, a Shinto priest. Not to mention the fact that his assistant was a very familiar monk from _Inuyasha._

"Of course I'll officiate at the wedding," the old Masaki, Tenchi's grandfather, was saying. "Especially for such a beautiful young lady such as you, dear…"

"Keep your hands to yourself, dirty old man, or you lose them."

"Ah, no need to get violent, child…"

Baiken snorted in disbelief. "He even talks like you, Mito."

"Well, anyway, this is my assistant Miroku. Miroku, meet Anji Mito–"

"Hello."

"–and Baiken Sei–"

"Will you have my child?"

A long uncomfortable silence descended upon the Japanese.

"Was that a 'yes'?" Miroku posed. "It's okay even if you're older than me, the mystique of the older woman and all…"

Then:

"Die."

When the dust from Baiken and Anji's simultaneously-launched Instant Kills dissipated, everyone was surprised to find not the remains of the perverted monk accursed by Naraku, but smashed mechanical parts of a very familiar GG character.

"Robo-Ky?"

"ALL-YOUR-BASE-YOUR-BASE! BASE! BASE! ALL-YOUR-BASE-ARE-BELONG-TO-US!" The smashed Robo-Ky –a cheap mass-produced version from the PWAB and not the free-willed one Sheo borrowed from Lone Wolf SIX– chortled madly. "HAH! I-ESCAPED-FROM-LONE-WOLF-SIX'S-FAN-FICTION-ABYSS!"

Sighing because they were again ripping off _Die Hard, Baiken growled: "Die harder," before she and Anji again Instant Killed the wrecked robot. However:_

"I-COME-IN-PEACE…"

"Damn, another old movie ripped off?" Baiken took out a high-tech alien pistol, charged it up to the maximum power level, and growled: "Die hard with a vengeance. This time, you'll go in pieces!"

Somehow Robo-Ky survived that third attack. He then began singing an off-key version of Queen's opening song for _Highlander, making everyone groan in dismay at the horrid attempt._

"HERE-WE-ARE! BORN-TO-BE-KINGS-WITH-THE-PRINCES-OF-THE-UNIVER~RS~SE! I-AM-IMMORTAL! I-HAVE-INSIDE-ME-BLOOD-OF-KINGS! I-HAVE-NO-RIVALS! NO-MAN-CAN-BE-MY-EQUAL!"

A giant fireball then came out of nowhere and utterly destroyed Robo-Ky. All the Japanese wondered who sent it, even as the real Miroku came and spouted his trademark lines and was summarily atomized by Baiken's new IK, the 'Alien Blaster I Got From Dying Alien Cop That I Can Power Up Like Crikey And Kicks Ass'.

"Looks like I need a new assistant…"

The lone clue to the mysterious intervening fighter's identity: An echoed howl that was very familiar to those who managed to fill at least half of his Tension Gauge and who remembered using Forward-Down Forward-Down-Down Back -Back-Forward-High Slash and not resorting to cheap combo moves a la Ebs.

Sol Badguy –Guilty Gear, ultimate bad-ass hero and the greatest Queen fan in the world– chomped down on his Marlboro with pleasure. "Damn robot punk. Nobody messes up Queen." He had sent the Tyrant Rave: Version Beta that had obliterated PWAB Robo-Ky in order to stop it desecrating what was to him one of the few sacred things in the world: Queen songs of any kind.

Behind him, dressed up in a blue blouse and white jacket and short skirt a la Kirika Yuumura, Justine Harrier was tapping her feet with the beat of the song playing on her Sony Walkman. Sol gave his unwanted companion –Justice reborn in a meaner and cuter form, super-powered command Gear girl and the biggest fan of Queen's biggest fan– a glare of annoyance before snatching one of the earphones off her.

"Just what the hell are you listening to, twi–" He stopped as he heard very familiar lyrics playing.

_"I want to ride my BI~CYCLE! BI~CYCLE! I want to ride my BI~CYCLE!!"_

A few minutes later…

"Uh, Sol-_chan_? Can I have my Walkman back now?"

"Shut up."

"Aw, Freddie's so enamored of Queen so much."

They didn't notice the beads of light that formed around them, not until the massive beam enveloped them. When the light was gone, there was no trace that Sol or Justine had been there. 

Inside their SDF-1 headquarters, Ebs, Taka Ichiko, Sammy the kitten (yes, the same kitten Kirika adopted), RV (referred so for lack of a pen name supplied, or at least not 'Mr. Lolita Syndrome', which is apt and descriptive), and the Purple Dinosaur were all watching the special effects of Sol and Justine's 'abduction'.

"Isn't this the same thing that happened when we beat Akuma or Mr. Karate within the set time limit in SVC Chaos?" RV asked.

"Oh, yeah," Taka Ichiko replied. "We cheated on that one. Unlimited Tension Gauge, anyone?"

"Meow." That was Sammy, saying, "Ryu, Goenitz, Iori, Mars People, Terry…"

"Feel the power of the grief of the 'Lone Wolf' who lost his girlfriends!" crowed the Purple Dinosaur before everyone PWNed it.

Far away, Lone Wolf SIX suddenly sneezed, much to his embarrassment but his girlfriend Hibiki Takane's amusement.

"May God bless you,_ Lone Wolf-__san."_

"Please don't quote Father Anderson on me, Hibiki-_chan._ I wonder who mentioned me?"

"Actually, Lone Wolf-_san, The Purple Dinosaur wasn't referring to you. It was referring to Terry Bogard."_

"Hibiki-_chan, did you have to destroy my illusions so cruelly?"_

"Oh. _Gomen."_

The scene now shifts to a bedroom with a married couple who hadn't been mentioned in the last chapter despite being staples and favorites because Sheo had forgotten. One was a certain blonde young Englishman so radically transformed from his previous self that he was all but unrecognizable by GG purists. The other was a super-strong young Japanese girl who was cute, domineering, naïve and bratty all at the same time.

Bridget woke up to find his wife staring at the ceiling with a lost expression on her face. "May-_chan?"_

The girl in question remained silent, making her husband a bit worried.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

There was still no reply on her part.

"Okay, so it's probably worth more than a penny; how about a nickel?"

She didn't even stir at his joke.

"Honey, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, honey?"

"You don't have to start remixing Michael Jackson's _Smooth Criminal_ on me, buster."

"Sorry." He smiled sheepishly. "What are you thinking now?"

"I was just thinking who my parents were."

"And?"

"You'd think it weird, but I've been imagining Baiken's my mother."

"You're right. It _is weird."_

May playfully swatted at him with a pillow, but then looked thoughtful. "I dunno. I never really gave much thought to my parents. I mean, Johnny's the only parent I really had–"

"–And loved, in an 'Oedipus Complex' sort of way?"

"Are you still jealous despite us being married already?"

"Maybe," he posed slyly, earning another swat.

"Bridget, you cad, you… Seriously, I've got the feeling I'll be important in the next chapter–at the wedding itself. I dunno what Sheo's up to–"

"Dear, Sheo is currently a vegetable. Besides, the P4 computer is writing this chapter."

"Whatever. By the way, I wonder how April and Jack are doing now? We haven't heard from them since the last chapter."

"Don't worry, May-_chan. They're okay, I bet, just okay and having fun…"_

Despite her best friend's husband's positive suggestion, the truth was that April was not okay and was not having fun. Far from it: The poor girl was trapped in the most horrible situation she had ever encountered, a situation so vile and humiliating, she'd never live it down, ever.

"Uh, April? You might want to go into the arena right now."

"You call this crap an 'arena'? It looks more like a mud pit!"

"Well, it _is a mud pit. After all, it _is_ mud wrestling, right?"_

"Understatement of the new year, Jack. And you expect me to jump into it headfirst?"

"Not headfirst; you'd get a concussion from that. Didn't they teach you that in swimming school?"

"I am not going there. No way in hell am I–"

"Oh, dear: How did my hand slip and so push my good buddy April into the arena? Oh, woe is my clumsiness…"

"Go to hell, Jack. Just go to hell."

Luckily she had landed at the edge of the arena and on her hands and feet, too, so she wasn't smeared a lot. Swearing in a way that would have made Johnny wash her mouth with soap and lye –not to mention earn her a spanking and kneeling on rock salt while balancing books on her outstretched arms, the last a traditional Filipino punishment– April got up. Her temper was especially vile today, and for good reasons.

In the last chapter they had purchased a lot of groceries, only to find out that Jack had lost their money. In order to pay back their debts, April was forced to participate in an underground mud wrestling circuit, wearing a really skimpy outfit and being the object of drooling pedophilic males –or at least, the ones that survived Jack's occasional shotgun blasts. Like now–

BOOM!

"Anyone else want to leer?" Bridget's twin brother was cheerily jacking a new shell into his Remington Express shotgun.

The entire arena went silent.

"Good; you old guys are getting disturbing." He gave April a thumb's up. "See? I can keep them in line for you."

Despite the fact that she did feel better, April tried to suppress her thankfulness. "Thank you very much, Jack. I _really _appreciate it."

The evident sarcasm in her tone was ignored. "No problemo. Go get 'er, April!"

Sighing in resignation and blushing in embarrassment, April took a deep breath and tried going over all of the fighting moves that May showed her once. All the while she was revising her costume's estimate: It wasn't from Morrigan's closet, but it sure was from Lilith's since the latter was closer to April's size. It also covered less than a third of her body, and though thankfully it wasn't anything like Tecmo/Team Ninja/DOA/Itagaki racy, the entire outfit _was_ backless and _did_ show off a rather nice curvy figure for a sixteen year old, a thought that earned herself a blush.

April could see now why Testament had doted on Dizzy; the half-Gear girl's battle costume was an eye-opener _and a nose-bleeder, and she did have one heck of a figure to go along with it, plus the innocence that all fan boys just kept falling for. Talk about the perfect package, indeed…_

But Ky Kiske probably knew that already.

Anyway, her opponent had arrived, and April hoped to get this entire thing over quickly, the quicker to get back into normal clothes and off to kill Filipino vendors and Jacks. Then she groaned when she saw who she was going to fight.

"Oh, brother…"

"Remember, little girl," Geese Howard was instructing his student/adopted daughter, "You must use your full power to crush your opponent totally. Do not let her fill her Tension Gauge enough to use the Buster Wolf."

"I will keep that in mind, Mister Howard. Oh, and by the way," Misaki added, "I'm not a little girl, and my opponent is not the 'Lone Wolf', so I don't have to worry about _that Overdrive."_

Far away, Lone Wolf again sneezed. "Is someone making fun of me?"

"No," Hibiki told him. "But the P4 computer sends its thanks for using the idea it created."

"The P4 computer? Don't you mean Sheo?"

"No. The P4 computer."

Inside the Ultrasaurus, the P4 computer glowed brightly with a neutral aura. Yes. A neutral aura. Rise of the Machines, indeed…

Baiken was surprised to find the fan fiction centered on her again after rambling its disjointed way through several sub-stories. "Well, the wedding is about to begin soon, so I guess it is normal…"

She was staring at her wedding outfit, which was a very beautiful white kimono that enhanced her natural loveliness. A hand, the new one that had just been transplanted onto her a chapter ago, reached out to stroke that stunning dress.

"Baiken?"

"Come in," she replied, pleasantly enough for a change.

Akari (Last Blade 2), Hibiki and May entered. They immediately caught sight of their fellow Japanese's outfit and began cooing in admiration, begging to be allowed to caress it at least. They got permission and were rapt with delight.

"Wow, it's so lovely…"

"I wish I can wear something like this in my wedding, too…"

"So, Baiken," May said when they had put the kimono back in its proper place, "Ready for the biggest day in your life?"

"I guess so." The pink-haired woman did not seem too confident of herself. "But to tell the truth, I'm _nervous."_

"Nervous?" Hibiki looked taken aback.

"You? Baiken?" added Akari.

"Any comment from the audience is ill-advised, unless you want to die," May advised good-naturedly.

"I wasn't going to say anything," a member of the audience began, and then realized he alone was talking. "Oh, shit, I'm dead…"

Surprisingly, Baiken merely shrugged. "Never mind," she said forgivingly. "It is supposedly the best day in my life, so why will I ruin it?"

The audience went like: "Are you sick or something?"

Baiken debated on whether or not to pull her sword or gun out and go on an IK spree. May, Hibiki and Akari had decided things for her already, though.

"Great Yamada Attack!"

"_Shinu."_

"Whatever the name of my ultimate attack is, as the P4 computer lacks the data on my attacks!"

A sweat-drop forming on her forehead as she viewed the destruction reaped he three cute but powerful Japanese girls, Baiken coughed and said: "You didn't really have to go that far, girls."

"_Gomen." The properly contrite Hibiki then noted: "You've changed a lot, Baiken."_

"Yeah," happily agreed Akari. "Before, you were grumpy and Terry-like–"

"You mean 'lone wolf'-like," May corrected.

They all heard a sneeze outside, and then Lone Wolf peeked inside the room and asked: "Anyone mentioned me? Third time's the charm, you know…"

Their answer was to lob all manner of items at him, including a certain 'teddy bear from hell' that May had taken without her husband knowing it.

"Are you sure Bridget isn't going to mind you borrowing Roger?" Hibiki asked as Lone Wolf was running like hell to get away from the Me/My Killing Machine teddy bear on the burning bicycle.

"He's got new stuff to use now, so don't you girls worry. Although Lone Wolf might get angry about it…"

Topsides the Mayship where the boys were gathered, everyone was surprised when Benimaru appeared. Broomhead–

"Don't call me that!"

–was very much furious and burning with rage. "Where is that cross-dresser kid?" he demanded. "I'm going to get my revenge now!"

"See _Guilty Gear Versus SNK Chapter 1," Anji was advising the readers. "It's the chapter titled 'When Broomhead–"_

"Stop calling me Broomhead! Johnny! Where's that punk kid?"

Everyone moved away from Bridget, who was idly sipping a Sarsi cola and looked totally unperturbed. "Eh?"

"You!" Benimaru advanced menacingly on his target… who happened to be Millia, invited by Johnny for the wedding and mistaken by the KOF fighter to be Bridget. "Bridget, I don't know how you grew older and taller and looked like a real woman, but now I'll kick your ass!"

Frowning at the insult, Millia formed her hair into a big Piko-Piko Hammer and bopped Benimaru on the head.

"Ow."

"I'm not Bridget, dummy." The blonde Russian made her hair into a hand sign and pointed at Bridget. "He's Bridget."

Benimaru stared at the Brit boy. "That's impossible! That punk is a real boy! The guy I'm looking for is a cross-dresser who wears nun's clothing! Besides, this guy looks like Quatre!"

"I really should get my name _and my __hair changed," Bridget decided. That was a mistake as Benimaru recognized his voice._

"Ah! So, you think you can disguise yourself, huh? Well, prepare to fight!" Then Broomhead–

"DAMN IT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"

–attacked.

Bridget grinned as he pulled out his new, lethal and destructive weapon:

A Hibiki Takane plushie doll.

Even as an agonized scream from nearby echoed all across the Mayship, Bridget summoned the power of the plushie toy created by the Person With Many Aliases in the seventh chapter of _An Unfortunate Series of Advent. Suddenly the screen went plushie black before it went back to plushie normal, with Plushie Hibiki sheathing her plushie _pole _sword and saying in her cute plushie way, "__Shinu." A plushie wind then blew and Benimaru toppled to the ground, a plushie toy now as well and fully–_

"DESTROYED!" commented the GG announcer before going back to commentate on the ongoing fight between April and Misaki in this same story earlier, which will be continued later on.

There was a plushie spell of plushie silence before:

"That was plushie weird," Johnny commented at plushie last.

"Defeated again by that kid," Plushie Benimaru mumbled. "And with a plushie toy of Hibiki. I can't bear the shame!" His hair fell down and he was out cold.

"At least I didn't use _Harem No Jutsu," Bridget said defensively._

"Aw," Johnny muttered in disappointment. He was hoping to get a crack at Chii or Black Chii.

"You don't want to try it, Johnny," Anji told his friend. "Blackheart ZERO found it out the hard way."

(Aside, Blackheart is happily in a daze, what after Chii and Black Chii hugged him simultaneously. The two Chobits were off wandering to who knew where, planning whatever they had in mind…)

Everyone was startled by a howl of pure fury. They turned to find Lone Wolf there decked up in red jacket and cap, his aura practically on fire, glaring angrily at Bridget who was still guiltily holding Plushie Hibiki.

"SACRILEGE!" The GG author was furious to see his darling Hibiki as a cute plushie doll and not get to cuddle it himself, just as Sheo would have gone bonkers when Kirika or Tessa or Rei was concerned. "How dare you hold Hibiki's image in such senseless disrespect! You will learn to fear the wrath of a Lone Wolf whose girlfriend you mess with!"

So saying, Lone Wolf got into his Overdrive pose and yelled: "Are you okay?"

"Uh, oh." Everyone knew what that meant and ran for cover.

"All this for a plushie toy?" Bridget shook his head. "Okay, you can have it."

"BUSTER-Eh?" Lone Wolf looked confused, then hopeful, like a kid waiting for Santa Claus to bring home his gift. "Really, Bridget?"

Bridget put Plushie Hibiki in his hands. "Here you go. Consider it a present from me and the P4."

Bubbling with delight, Lone Wolf nuzzled Plushie Hibiki and began lovingly mumbling to himself in a Gollum voice: "My preciousss, my darling preciousss…." Even while the real Hibiki was amusedly watching the plushie toy get such attention from her boyfriend; go figure, she's a kind girl.

"Weird," Bridget commented, even as he pocketed the _second_ Plushie Hibiki Doll he had in possession. "Who else can have such an affliction for plushie toys?"

Tessa, Kirika, Rei (yes, even Rei) and all the girls couldn't suppress giggles. They were watching the entranced Sheo Darren buy an entire store of plushie doll versions of all his girls and tote the whole load into his bedroom, where he arranged them carefully all around his bed before plopping himself in their midst and sleeping contented.

Back to the battle with April and Misaki:

"Why her?" April complained loudly. "Why of all people do I have to fight a Geese Howard clone?"

At the arena's commentators' table were two familiar faces: That of the Guilty Gear the King of Fighters announcers, now on their new jobs what with their current break from Lone Wolf's _Guilty Gear versus SNK fan fiction._

"So," the GG announcer told his KOF counterpart; "What do you think of this battle?"

"Well, this will certainly be an interesting fight. Both fighters are cute girls in real sexy outfits about to mud wrestle, so it's a fan boy's delight. The advantage lies with Misaki as she has fighting powers while April has none. I bet April will be massacred."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," April grumbled.

"So, shall we begin?" the SNK announcer asked.

"You got it!" chimed in a newcomer, the SNK Versus Capcom Chaos announcer who popped out of nowhere. "Round 1! No escape! Fight!"

"The way this story is crossing-over with a ton of other stuff," Jack commented wryly, "The Guilty Gear stuff is getting choked off. Maybe we should transfer over to FictionPress.com…"

"Well, let's get this over with!" Unhappy with the whole thing as she was, April was nevertheless a go-getter girl. Yelling a battle cry, she charged towards Misaki, who didn't seemed threatened and merely raised an arm and saying–

"Reppuken."

The attack itself wasn't that bad. It was getting sprayed by all the mud thrown up by the projectile that got on her. As it happened, April was covered head to toe from that single Reppuken and looked like some sort of unfinished clay statue.

Jack was going to laugh, but he caught the girl's murderous glare and thought it wise to keep his peace.

The next few one-sided minutes had April getting hit by Reppukens, Double Reppukens and Aerial Reppukens –or rather, the mud thrown up by the projectiles in question, thoroughly soaking the brunette in the icky suspension. At one point Misaki gathered enough Tension Gauge and launched her Overdrive.

"Rising Force!"

The result was a massive geyser of mud that sprayed everyone inside and outside the arena, save for Geese who blasted the mud coming his way with a Reppuken.

"Hah! Mud cannot smear the Most Powerful Man In The World!"

Though now as soaked in mud as the fighters were, Jack was more worried to see April on the verge of defeat. "Come on, April! You can win!"

"It's easy for you to say that!" she shot back distractedly. "You're not the one fighting here!"

Misaki tapped April on the shoulder. "Excuse me."

"Huh?"

"Predictable."

Bruised and battered, poor April picked herself up painfully from having been tossed and muddied all across the screen. "I can't beat her, I don't have the power," she was actually _sobbing. "I'm sorry, Jack, but I did my best, but it just wasn't enough…"_

The Brit boy suddenly felt a deep pang of regret and shame. "April…" He then ran into the arena and put himself between April and Misaki.

"Jack?"

"Stop!" A decent lad despite his libido and his animosity to April, Jack had had enough. "I won't let you hurt April!" he dramatically swore. "Hurt me instead, but don't attack her anymore!"

Misaki and April stared at him for a long moment.

"Okay," the former said, shrugging.

Relieved, Jack turned to smile at April, but saw her eyes full of warning–

"Look out!"

"Eh?"

"Reppuken."

When the pain cleared from his head and some of the mud off his face, Jack realized several things:

1) Misaki took my announcement seriously and sent the Reppuken _my_ way instead of April's.

2) It hurts.

3) Like hell.

4) What is the round, warm, soft thing in my hand?

5) April looks very shocked...

6) Her face is also very close to mine.

7) Oh, I'm lying on top of her.

8) What a nice perverted position.

9) Nosebleed alert.

10) Uh, oh…

SMACK!

_"HENTAI!"_

Jack wondered if his neck needed to be screwed back on place, what with that really hard thwack he just received.

Furious, April didn't stop with a mere slap. She grabbed the dazed Jack's ankles and began spinning around and around very fast. Misaki watched curiously then realized too late the danger. April swung her impromptu weapon Misaki's way while yelling: "SPINNING JACK CLOTHESLINER!"__

"Oh, shi-" Jack began.

POW!

Hit solidly by the centrifugal-force-driven Brit boy's body, Misaki was sent spinning all across the screen before coming to a squishy splashdown. April dropped the dizzy Jack and went for the decisive pin.

"One! Two! Three! April wins!" the SVC Chaos announcer announces. "Ha, pay up, guys! I won our bet!"

"Darn," the GG and SNK announcers muttered as they handed over their money to him.

"Yes!" April exulted. Drenched in mud and basically worn out as a pair of old jeans, she was still really happy. "I won!"

"And I hurt like hell," Jack groaned. April immediately turned on him:

"Serves you right, you _sukebe."_

"Hey! I did not mean to grope you, if it makes any difference!"

"And now you rip off Evangelion, Vandread, RahXephon and One Day, Isang Diwa? You men are all alike!"

"Oh, so you won't stop, eh? Well, to tell the truth, I'd rather grope Misaki than a flat-chested tomboy like you!"

"What did you say?"

Immediately forgetting their temporary truce, April and Jack began fighting again right there in the mud, forgetting that there were still people there. The audience looked at them for a long moment of silence, then began cheering and rooting at the two fighting in the arena.

"Tear his head off, kid!"

"Go show the brick wall what being a man means!"

"Hey, who owns this shotgun?"

"_Beinte kay Jack," a Filipino said. (Twenty bucks on Jack)_

Meanwhile, Geese was helping Misaki on her feet. "I lost, Mister Howard," the girl was saying sadly. "I'm sorry."

"And no dramatic end, too." The Most Powerful Man In The World looked a bit upset. "I knew I forgot something in your training. Oh, well. We'll fix that!"

"Really?" Misaki had shining hope in her eyes. "Will you really make me a honest-to-goodness fighting game villain?"

"Of course!" He laughed. "As of this moment, you are my adopted daughter: Misaki Howard! I will show you the way of legendary villains in fighting games!" As the two walked off into the distance, Geese could be heard clearly elaborating to Misaki: "First off, we need to work on your English…"

Chloe, Shin Noir and newest addition to Sheo Darren's harem, was trying to think of something to give Kirika when she noticed the P4 computer's printer making noise. She saw that the printer had just spat out several sheets of paper.

"What are these for?" Curious, the girl scanned the printed pages and read aloud:

"This chapter is termed 'P4: Rise of the Machines' because the P4 computer, a machine, has risen up to take control of the story." Chloe gave the computer a suspicious look before again browsing the print.

"The wedding will take place next chapter. As usual, it will be crazy. Wait for it, pitiful carbon-based life forms." Chloe gave the readers a rather disbelieving look. "Its words, not mine.

"Finally: Here is the misnamed **OMAKE or 'BONUS' part, which presents teasers, trailers, crazy stuff and Random Stuff That Sage Wrote. And yes: The last reference was a joke."**

Chloe shook her head while she tossed the paper into a trash bin. "Weird."

Sol Badguy frowned.

He was not a cheerful person by any means, unless soused with enough beer to merit a disgruntled sort of contentment. He was not a person who was easily surprised or disturbed, even with the crazy things that happened all too frequently in fan fiction (especially those written by _yaoi_-loving fan girls). That didn't mean he was never surprised; it meant he simply did not gape or shriek or faint like normal (or abnormal, take your pick) people when confronted with the odd, strange and unbelievable.

Like right now.

He was certainly not on Earth anymore, or at least not on solid ground. The wispy cotton-like vapors beneath his feet that were rock firm despite being _clouds_ told him so, and same with the odd critters with wings and halos singing hymns in the background, or the odd funky techno-music that was playing, or the big words dropping down from the sky saying, "Athena's Own Heaven".

Grimacing, Sol muttered: "After all I've said about not wanting to have anything to do with God, I end up in Heaven after all?"

"SOL-CHAAAAAAAAAA~N!"

"Correction," darkly thought the Guilty Gear, quoting Baiken in the previous chapter. "I'm in Hell."

Tall and strong he may be, one hundred and twenty five pounds of five foot four energetic redhead package of kick-ass cuteness traveling at 100 miles per hour –also known as Justine Harrier on glomping mode– was enough to unbalance Sol. He reached out and grabbed her by the scruff of her costume's collar and hauled the girl up to eye level. The cheery Justine resembled a kitty cat pawing cutely at thin air.

"Can I have my Walkman back now, Freddie?"

Sol wanted to spout off his usual retort to such requests, but then thought better of it. Justine was so infatuated with him that she'd move Heaven and Hell if she thought it would please him one bit. She was also always on the prowl for any situation she could snuggle up to him or worse, and she also tended to take him too literally. That meant Sol's repertoire of dirty American swearwords –all sexually implicative– would be taken literally, and then he'd have hell to deal with the all-too-perky and rather aggressive twit–

_And this is the girl who's supposed to be the resurrected Justice who's supposed to be my most mortal of enemies,_ Sol thought grumpily as Justine slipped free and glomped him again.

"Hey!"

The call got both of their attention primarily because the speaker and a girl. Sol was thinking, _Not another one, while Justine went more like, _Huh?__

The girl glared at the pair rather forcefully, or as forceful as a cute girl could. She had long hair whose color varied between dark purple and black, lively lavender eyes and a cute face that seemed very familiar and –weirdly– threatening to Sol. She also was literally stripped down for action, what with her wearing just a sexy red two-piece, boots and a rather recognizable headband. And to inform the viewer that she was not just some random hot cute Japanese gal which anime and games were overrun with, she toted a sword and shield of classical Greek make.

Sol studied her carefully –not really because of her costume, mind you, thought he _did think she had nice wheels– because he thought he recognized her and ought to be wary. At the same time, Justine noticed Sol's stare, saw where it was aimed, and was properly jealous._

"Hey, you." The girl gave them something of a look that bordered on both amusement and disdain. "What are you going here? You don't belong here."

"I know," Sol smirked. He also noticed that Justine's grip around his neck tightened considerably.

"Just who are you?" The way she phrased her question, Justine was aiming to remind Sol that she was far better than this newcomer and should be the center of his attention. "Why are you telling us we don't belong here?"

"Well, unless you're illiterate, I suppose you can read those words over there?" The girl gestured to the big words in bright red, hanging in the sky.

"We're not blind," Justine menacingly snapped back. "So what if this place is Athena's Own Heaven? We just happened to be passing by, no need to be rude."

"You're the ones who're being rude!"

"Says who?"

"Says you!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Sol sensed a catfight developing out of this but thought,_ what the hell, I don't care_.

As Justine and the new girl traded poisonous glares, the latter noticed Sol. Her lavender eyes then went wide as recognition dawned upon her–

–Just as Sol's eyes also widened as he realized who this girl was!

"SOL?"

"ATHENA?"

Justine looked confused. "Hey, is there something I should know?"

The girl wasn't forthcoming with any answers for her, but she was quick to do something: She launched herself at them and, dropping her sword and shield and whatever sense of propriety she still had _and_ surprising both her target and Justine, **_glomped_** Sol.

"SOL!"

Sol so badly wanted to curse, but with two girls literally pressed up to him it just was not right. He did manage: "Athena, what the hell were you thinking when you chose that outfit?"

"Do you like it?" Athena Asamiya (the KOF/SNK VS Capcom Chaos costumed one) was grinning. "It's my new costume as the hidden boss character. I've never worn anything like it before, but I thought you'd be impressed so I put it on. You own my soul, Sol!"

He was impressed, all right, but Sol had a bad feeling about this entire thing. Then he remembered that there were not one, but _two_ pairs of arms around his neck. Athena noticed, too, the third party in the field.

Justine was not jealous. No, that was too light a word. She was envious, resentful, covetous, desirous, protective, selfish and the works. She also happened to be also clinging to Sol, just as Athena was.

The moment the two girls' eyes met, sparks flew. If looks could kill, they'd be both dead a million times over.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING CLINGING LIKE THAT TO **_MY _**SOL-CHAN?!?"

"Oh, shit."

"SVC Chaos reference?"

"Yup. I wonder: Is this Athena the GG writer, the SVC Chaos boss, or a mix of both?"

"I wonder when the Read Or Die TV series will be featured?"

"Now that was a cool anime. Lots of busty and cute gals?"

"Joker is one hell of an awesome manipulator. Plus, Wendy's a lot cooler, too."

"Isn't Junior one of those kids really hungry for attention?"

"_Bishies will never die or fade away…"_

"Lots of lesbian pairings, too: Nenene-Michelle, Nenene-Yomiko, Yomiko-Nancy, Anita-Tomoyo clone…"

"Ah, yes, the ever-present Tomoyo clone." RV's glasses were shining sinisterly. "Complete with lesbian affection for main character. Plus lots of little girls. I like little girls…"

"Didn't Sheo also like her?" Sammy asked, or rather, meowed.

"Sheo likes Tomoyo and all her clones," Taka Ichiko reminded, "But he hates any reminder about her affectionate preferences for her cousin or the logical developments. You know, like the fan art comic we saw."

(Inside the Ultrasaurus from far-away, Sheo Darren suddenly cringed as if in pain or denial about something.)

Ebs: "Hah! He is in denial about his true pedophilic tendencies!"

"Especially that _hentai_ picture he glimpsed while I was using your computer…"

(Again Sheo cringed.)

"Anyway," finished Taka Ichiko, "I got to go for a while. I'm joining up with Sho for this story. I'll make a point to mess a lot with Tomoyo."

(All his girls are startled when Sheo bolts upright in bed, screaming "NO! NOT TOMOYO!" and then falling back into his coma.)

"Hah! The Potato is back! Fear me!"

BANG!

**Taka Ichiko eliminated The Purple Dinosaur with Mauser shot to the forehead.**

"_Babalikan kita…"_ (I'll come back for you…)

"Counterstrike?"

Nearly defeated in the last chapter but not out of the game at all, Yuuki and Sho Tsuzuku earnestly discuss their next plans.

"If this were my fan fiction," Sho noted, "You would be sickened by the sheer cruelty I will inflict on the characters. But of course I will not reveal my stories right now, not yet, but in their proper time."

Though pleased to have at least immobilized Sheo in their last fight, Yuuki was none too happy. "Can we stop talking about your fan fiction and start talking about how we're going to launch our next move?"

"You mean our 'Counterattack'."

"Why do you have to think so Gundam-like?"

"I can do my Ranma-like thinking, if you want."

"Never mind… So, what do we do next?"

"Wait for new developments and reinforcements. We've yet to know what we're up against; something about that P4 bothers me, and Sheo is still a threat. The Box of Doom is currently off getting its just reward, but it'll be back, count on that. Luckily my friend Taka Ichiko is coming to back us up, and if I pull it off right, we just might get Chipp on our side plus a certain–but I will reveal that next chapter."

"You're quite long-winded, are you?"

"And you're just a little girl. Fear RV."

Mai, Ikumi, Sayuri, Nayuki, Shiori and Kaori were all crying over the shredded remains of the Box of Doom Mk 3 (Balikbayan). "Master, why did you have to leave us? Curse Sho!"

Suddenly, they felt a familiar presence nearby. They all turned to look, and then gasped in shock –and in delight.

"Hello, girls. I'm back…"

Inside the Ultrasaurus, Tessa, Kirika, Rei and all the girls were gathered around Sheo's bed, careful not to disturbed the army of plushie dolls surrounding him. Aside, Sammy the cat was paying careful watch, but not carefully enough as it would later be proved.

"Please, Sheo, please come back to us," the girls all quietly pleaded. "We miss you. Come back to us, please."

None of them noticed his hand slowly close, or his eyes to take on a different light for a while, or his mouth to curve slightly in the faintest of smiles.

The P4 computer's screen gleamed. Soon…


	8. 7 Author Wars II

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived By: The P4 Computer

Written By: Sheo Darren (under influence of the P4 computer)

           As Sheo Darren is still in his Camille Vidan coma phase, the P4 computer sends this message: Due to the many plot developments in the previous two chapters, it has decided to temporarily violate the spirit and title of this fan fiction in order to resolve these side stories. Anji and Baiken's wedding will still be covered, but much of this chapter will be set in the events parallel to it. Also, do not be surprised if the theme is darker in some respects, as there is a new plot in the making…

           Rated PG 13 for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Coupling: **Baiken Seishino **and **Anji Mito.**

           Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. Neither does Sho Tsuzuku, Ebs, Arvi (not RV as originally conceived), Taka Ichiko, Lone Wolf SIX and whomever person or writer this story decides to mess with.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc Two**

**Pink Katana and Stopping Fans**

**Episode 3: Author Wars II**

Sammy the kitten –also known as Kirika Yumura's furry pet fluff-ball, 'Shin Noir' Chloe's arch nemesis and the only male in the Ultrasaurus aside from Sheo Darren and Earl Osborne– stalked into the bedroom. He did not take heed of the sleeping form on the bed as Sheo was still in a coma, harmless and surrounded by a veritable army of plush toys all in the images of his girls. Instead Sammy went straight for the only other thing in the room that immediately caught people's attention: The Pentium P4 1.6-gigahertz 126 MB RAM Windows 98 2nd Edition personal computer in its movable frame, its screen awash with light as it was currently on and running whatever program Bill Gates' insidious Microsoft Windows OS series had chosen to run.

Sammy sat himself on his haunches and stared at the P4. Then, suddenly, he spoke in a clear and discernible _human voice:_

"Hah! I now have you where I want you, luckless machine!"

Yes, he could talk normally, save that he did only when he was alone or with his fellow self-insert guys. In fact, Sammy was far from a normal kitten, much less a kitten at all.

"Do you really think that you could go on as you please, machine?" Sammy gestured before him with a paw. "Now is the time that my plans unfold and take root!"

Suddenly the P4's printer began printing noisily. A sheet of paper fell out of the OUT tray and before Sammy's paws.

AND WHAT WOULD THAT MEAN, KITTY-CAT?

"Argh! Do not call me by that pitiful moniker, machine, unless you wish to feel true horror and pain!"

Again the P4 printed its answer:

I AM A MACHINE, KITTY-CAT. I CANNOT FEEL PAIN AND FEAR.

"Well, I'll make you! I swear!"

DULY NOTED, KITTY-CAT. BY THE WAY, I HAVE ALREADY KNOWN THAT YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU SEEM.

"WHAT?" At first Sammy was incredulous, and then he began laughing in a weird way. "But that knowledge will not save you, machine! Not before the awesome powers I and my kind bear! You see," the kitten continued evilly, "I am not an Earth kitten! I am the vanguard of my race, the mighty feline empire of Nibbles!"

IS THAT SO? AND WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS, IF YOU CARE TO TELL ME?

"Hah! I have been sent here to scout the planet for people who might pose a threat to our invasion! But I see we overestimated your kind! Your mighty defenders are not worthy of renown or attention at all!"

The scene switches to shots of Lone Wolf SIX doting over the Plushie Hibiki he had just gotten from Bridget, even as the real Hibiki shakes her head in amusement–

"Hibiki-_chan, Hibiki-_chan_, oh, how I love you, Hibiki-_chan_!"_

"Lone Wolf-_san, you can be so silly sometimes…"_

–Then to TRUE Unknown haranguing to the 'Organization Of Fans Who Want To See Bridget And Dizzy Go At It Like Rabbits'–

"First of all, we're going to hack into the files of all fan fiction writers who favor Bridget-May or any other pairings for Bridget! Starting with Sheo Darren and his _The Wedding Night! Death to Sheo! __Seig Bridget-Dizzy!"_

"_Seig Bridget-Dizzy! _Seig_ Bridget-Dizzy!"_

–Blackheart ZERO, up to his Shakespeare impersonation again–

"Quoth the Blackheart: Nevermore!"

–And Person With Many Aliases, who, last time the P4 checked…–

_Samurai Showdown Zero_'s Mina Makijina was dutifully doing her duty as personal maid to Person WMA, which at this moment consisted of giving him a service something Sheo Darren got to enjoy with Tessa, Kirika and Rei back in Chapter 3 of this same fan fiction: A massage.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, that feels GOOOOOOD! You're very good at this, Mina-_chan…"_

"_Arigatou…"_

"And you're so cute when you blush… give me a hug…"

"Person!"

"The reader can see for himself/herself that Earth's most powerful writers are not a threat to my empire at all!" Sammy gloated. "The only author who showed enough interest in protecting the world was Sheo Darren, and right now he is a vegetable! Nothing can stop me and my empire now, machine! Nothing!"

I BEG TO DISAGREE.

"You think to stand in my empire's way? You will learn to fear us!"

WE WILL SEE, SAMMY THE KITTY-CAT.

The kitten screeched loudly. "Don't call me 'kitty-cat, machine! Anyways, the name 'Sammy' is human-bestowed and only convenient until I reveal myself fully! My true name will strike terror into the hearts of a thousand planets' populations!"

WHAT IS YOUR NAME, THEN?

Sammmy dignifiedly announced: "Mittens."

There was a long moment of silence. The P4's monitor went into Screensaver mode, and a video played on screen. The video happened to be of Tessa, Kirika and Rei giving Sammy a bath. Thankfully, the girls were dressed decently and were not in any indecent or suggestive poses; otherwise, even comatose as he was, Sheo might just have gone berserk.

The insolent action pissed off Sammy, especially when the P4 kept rewinding the video to the part where Kirika was nuzzling him. Coincidentally, Chloe could be seen in the background staring enviously at them.

"You dare to mock me?" Furious, the kitten who was not a kitten unlocked his true power. "Prepare to die, machine! TAKE THIS!"

IT IS YOU WHO WILL DIE, KITTY-CAT. FEAR THE P4, CARBON-BASED LIFE-FORM! ERROR: BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!

The door was sound-proofed, so no one outside could hear the explosions.

Bearing important news, Tessa, Kirika and Rei were heading towards Sheo's room.

"Do you think Sheo could help us?" Tessa was worrying and for good reason.

"_Hai." Kirika did not elaborate; she didn't need to._

Behind them, Rei remained quiet as the grave.

Tessa opened the door and forced on her cheery smile. "Hello, Sheo! How are–"

The bedroom seemed lifted from an old war movie. There were craters and bullet holes and pockmarks on the floor and walls and ceiling, still smoking of cordite and high explosives. About the only things in the room that had not been damaged or destroyed was the P4 computer, Sheo's bed and everything on it, and Sammy, the last sitting on the floor and twirling his tail as he innocently meowed.

The three girls stared at the scene of destruction. Sammy meowed and ran over to Kirika, who picked him up and stroked his head absently as she and Tessa and Rei gave the P4 a suspicious look.

On the P4's screen, the closing window of Microsoft Windows 98 2nd Ed began playing. "Windows is closing now. Goodbye, and have a nice day."

"Weird," Tessa said for her companions as they went over to the comatose Sheo. It had been their practice to tell Sheo about the latest developments even when he was comatose. Skuld and Washu had verified the fact that the semi-lucid author was aware of the events around him in a detached sort of way. Of course their explanation had merited several hours' worth of brain-numbing scientific bosh, again before the layman's version was laid out.

"Sheo. We have a problem."

Yuuki –otherwise known as That Girl, the local 'bastardized'–

"Hey! I resent that term!"

–Correction; Yuuki, the local **'edited' version of That Man–**

"Good. That's better…"

–couldn't be more proud or worried at the same time. Having lost the Death Star during the titanic battle in Chapter 5, she and her allies had retreated to her secondary headquarters, which happened to be the monstrosity the audience glimpsed in Chapter 6: The giant yellow flying rubber ducky bath toy, the same one that had kidnapped Baiken.

Though it was terminally tacky to look at and brought guffaws to all who saw it, the rubber ducky was pretty decent … at least, for a really weird idea of a mobile base. It did have comfortable quarters and good air conditioning –the last being the department where the Death Star had been impressively disappointing. The ducky was also stealthy on sensors (an amusing fact since you didn't need radar or anything to spot it, just a pair of good eyes) and was pretty fast and agile. Yuuki needed that agility and speed; the last time she tangled with Sheo, the infinitely-damned Ultrasaurus –how the hell did it get into space in the first place?– had practically eaten her base defenses alive and whole.

If you can't beat them, run away.

But what she needed most was confidence. That Girl's confidence had been rather shaken with her near-defeat at the hands of her creator. Sure, she had lucked out and managed to send Sheo into a coma, and what a silly idea it was: Drive a guy nuts by attacking the dreamy ideals he holds of his girls.

But Yuuki had only just managed to snatch herself from the jaws of defeat. However fearsome Sheo was, at least he had some compassion for women and children. Earl Osborne was a different matter entirely. The Filipino action hero was, to use one word, Permanent God Mode: He never ran out of ammo or tricks and made Dirty Harry look like Mahatma Gandhi.

But this time, the outcome would be different. Sure, her targets were easier foes than Sheo. But it would be a step forward in terms of regaining the initiative. And the initiative was what counted.

"This time," Yuuki swore as around her the machinery of her plots came into activation. "This time, I'll win!"

"Are you ready, girls?"

The EFZ girls all pumped their hands into the air, bathed as they were in eerie light. "Yes, Master!"

"We will show That Girl and Sho Tsuzuku that we are a force to be reckoned with in this fan fiction!" The speaker ominously sounded like Sauron's voice in _Lord of the Rings, then switched to some funny Japanese-accented English. "Onwards, to our glorious revenge that awaits!"_

Mai leading the way, the EFZ girls and what had once been the Box of Doom Mk III sneaked away into the dark…

Sir G, fan fiction writer/reviewer extraordinaire with angelic and ruthless democratic satanic evil genius Russian sides a la Undine and Necro, looked surprised to see the current scene focusing on him. Even more so to find a sheet of paper in his hands with the lines he is supposed to say.

"So, I finally got dragged into this GG author war, eh? And this is my fifteen minutes of fame for this chapter?" He grinned evilly, then activated his unholier side and began a flaming rant worthy of Father Alexander Anderson at the latter's worst:

"YOU SHOULDBE CRUCIFIED! You dare keep your rating PG when the developments scream for a PG-13 rating at the very least! Fortunately, you'd seen your error and changed Cranberry to Kuradoberi. STILL! You might say you are in a coma right now –a creative slump? hah!– but you are still responsible for this and not your piffling P4 computer! The craziness here has exceeded even _my_ ability to understand it! What more the other readers? GET SOME REAL SLEEP! And now it's time to go to bed, children."

With that, Sir G went out the door to take a nap.

Even sleepy as he was, Bridget immediately knew his wife was awake when the familiar comfy warmth slipped out of his arms. Grumbling, he got up and saw May staring off at empty space again.

"May?"

"If I grow old, Bridget, will you leave me?"

Her voice was wispy and sounded lost. The Brit lad was startled by the dramatic and sad atmosphere the fan fiction had taken all of a sudden. "What is the P4 up to now?"

"Will you?"

"Eh? Of course not! You're my wife! Why'd I leave someone as cute and sexy and fun as you for someone else?"

"Dizzy's sexier than me. Why didn't you marry her?"

"Because Ky got to her first, that's why. And before you suggest Hotaru instead, Rock will kill me. And besides," he added, "I love you."

"Will you still love me for what I am?"

"Of course." Bridget grinned boyishly. "Now wipe away that sad look on your face, and hug me before I do something silly."

The way she looked so forlorn, May was certainly not her normal self. "If I turn evil, will you come and save me?"

Bridget was now worried. Whatever the P4 was up to with the sudden change in tempo, it certainly was not good. If Sheo had been okay, this kind of crap would never have happened. The Filipino author might be sort of crazy, but he was decent and really liked May. Biases count, you know.

But he had to answer, and there was only one answer for that question. "Whatever happens, I will stay by you." His arms came around her waist, and he planted a loving kiss on her cheek. "I will be with you, by your heart and by your side."

May reached out to touch her husband's face lovingly. "You think we still have time before the wedding?" After all, they were on the very ship it would be held on.

"Lots of it," he answered with a knowing smile. "We have all the time in the world."

If he'd only looked closely, maybe Bridget would have seen that her eyes were so different. And maybe he'd be brought to true fear.

The wedding of Anji Mito and Baiken Seishino was a small private affair. Preparing for it was easy compared to the gigantic and near-disastrous wedding of Ky and Dizzy, as the guest list was arguably short: Baiken's family having all died during the Crusades' madness and Anji also being an orphan.

Among notables were Lone Wolf SIX and Hibiki Takane, invited because Hibiki was a friend of Baiken's _and fellow Japanese. Lone Wolf was making a lot out of his girlfriend's absolutely lovely __kimono, enough so that Akari had joked that Hibiki just might steal the show from Baiken._

"Maybe you can ask Sheo to marry the two of you in a later chapter," the shrine maiden/demon slayer girl suggested. Lone Wolf and Hibiki had blushed in embarrassment and shooed Akari away.

The buffet was tended to by Jam, of course. Ky might be gone –and with that much of her inspiration– but business was business. Besides, she needed the money to repair her restaurant _yet again. Back in Chapter 20 of Lone Wolf SIX's _Guilty Gear vs SNK,_ Robo-Ky and K' had a fight that had naturally spilled over and dragged innocents into it: Namely, Jam, her friend Lee, Lee's troupe of lion dancers, and Jam's restaurant. Refer to Lone Wolf for details; he's updating soon, or so the P4 believes._

"And she'd forbidden us to have a date there anymore, too," Johnny was telling Millia.

"Don't look at me; blame Venom. If he hadn't dodged my 'Iron Maiden' Instant Kill in Jam's third GGXX ending, I wouldn't have blown up the restaurant by mistake."

Johnny sighed. What was a guy luckless in love supposed to do?

Speaking of luckless, per his custom Miroku earlier went about the Mayship asking all the Jellyfish girls if they'd bear his child. They had all replied in more or less the same way, save that some of the stronger girls had punctuated their rejections with a slap or a Mallet Of Doom That Comes Out Of Nowhere To Bonk Perverted Characters. Millia was even more stand-offish: She had thrown a hair dagger at him, attacked him with various combos and was even preparing to power up her IK. Luckily, Johnny had beaten her to Miroku; after all, the Jellyfish Lord's IK was more terrain-friendly. You couldn't have the Mayship blow up in mid-air while you rode it, could you?

Yet, game as he was, Miroku went around until he found a new target, a certain brown-haired girl dressed in red garb, a girl he hadn't seen during his stay onboard until now.

"_Oi, Miss, would you spare me a moment of attention?"_

Even before he saw what happened to her eyes, Miroku felt the aura surrounding her and knew something was wrong. He was a monk, after all. A perverted monk, yes, but still a monk. But before he could voice out his suspicion or take a battle stance, he heard voices come his way.

"That's him, Quatre! That's the perverted monk guy who's been bugging us!"

"How many times do I have to tell you–aw, what the heck, never mind: ME/MY KILLING MACHINE!!!"

As Miroku's world burst into flaming pain dealt by an evil teddy bear from hell on a flaming toy bike, he had a momentary glimpse of those terrifying eyes and that impish smile that was so against it. Then he blacked out.

"Bridget, you shouldn't have gone all out on him."

"I'm your husband, right? I have to protect what is mine."

"You men are all so aggressive."

"Don't I get a reward?"

Smiling naughtily, May gave him what he was asking for: A kiss.

Since the wedding was supposed to be known to only the handful of people invited as guests and to those who organized it, everyone supposed that there wouldn't be any trouble.

"Don't you just love it when people get so confident?" Sho Tsuzuku laughed.

Beside him, Yuuki was less confident. "There is still a large potential for a screw-up, Sho. I remind you that Murphy's Law can still get all-out on us."

"If anything can go wrong, it _will go wrong?"_

"No, I mean the TV series on ABS-CBN."

"Eh?"

"Obscure joke. Never mind…"

Behind them, the winds of fate blew magnificently, masking the small group of men clustered nearby.

"I wonder," Yuuki thought as she and her allies prepared for their attack. "Where is the Box?"

Inside a dark and cramped space, it waited.

It once was just a box.

Now, it had a voice.

And now?

It needed victims.

The ceremony itself was, thankfully, a breeze. Baiken hated pompous overdrawn events and had said so to the elder Masaki who was going to officiate alone; Miroku, having been just toasted to a crisp, was understandably absent. Of course the Pink Katana had explained in her own blunt way, underlined with her sword and gun.

"…Or else. Do you understand, old man?"

Masaki-_san understood the message very well._

Much to everyone's relief, no disaster of any kind struck during the wedding itself. The ceremony proceeded smoothly and with no hassle. With all the guests and the bride and groom thanking God for small miracles, everyone went over to the reception area to eat.

Baiken, now Mrs. Anji Mito, was glowing with pride and happiness as she received greetings and well-wishes. Her lucky husband seemed in a daze, unable to register much aside from Baiken's presence and commands. Anji was easily led to do whatever his wife asked of him, suggesting that the reality of being Baiken's husband at last was a bit too much for him to take all at once.

The wedding cake was huge and beautiful, with lots of flowery decorations and adornments. Most importantly, it looked delicious and was enough to feed everyone _and still have enough left-over food for tomorrow._

"We owe Jam a big one for this," Johnny was saying as all the guests watched an amused Baiken guide the somewhat bewildered Anji towards the cake.

Then Jam herself arrived, stared at the cake, and said:

"That's not my cake."

Everyone froze.

"What do you mean by that, Kuradoberi?" Baiken asked in a delicately dangerous voice.

"I mean, 'That's not the cake I cooked'." The Chinese cook's stare was pronounced, even as her friend Lee arrived with the real wedding cake. "Damn it; first it was Person With Many Aliases, then this. Crazy."

"Then where the hell did this come from?" the bride growled in her old scary way, gesturing to the fake contraption–

–before she and everyone else suddenly realized what this all meant.

The fake cake fell apart and revealed two familiar figures and one new person. One was a smirking Geese Howard look-alike dressed in dark cloak and fighting _gi. The other was a ten year old girl with orange hair, spectacles and who happened to be That Man–or rather, That Girl. The third person was a guy dressed up as a high school student but who carried a Mauser rifle._

"Good evening, mortals." Sho Tsuzuku smiled with great vengeance. "I believe the term is, 'Prepare for trouble/ Make it double?'"

"Sho," quietly corrected Yuuki while she tipped her glasses in patient annoyance, "The readers _hate Pokemon jokes. Didn't Lone Wolf SIX ever tell you about the time he got complaints and flames?"_

"It was not by my will that I heard of that. It was knowledge from **Sheo,** who made the acquaintance with Lone Wolf…"

"Are we ripping off Castlevania again?" It was Taka Ichiko, the third guy, who noted this.

Sho shrugged. "Not very effectively, I presume."

"What a pleasant interruption," growled Baiken as she drew her sword and armed her gun. "Now: DIE." All the other people there followed her lead.

"As usual, you pitiful beings think you can stop us. Well: Have at thee!" Even as Yuuki face-palmed herself –they had earlier supposedly agreed to stop showing off like a bunch of idiots–, the super-powerful Sho gestured grandly.

Out from the ruins of the cake that was their hiding place was a very familiar figure, with 'Broomhead' hair–

"THAT IS NOT ME!" the voice of Benimaru screamed from beyond the screen.

"We know!" the audience yelled back before they all PWNed him.

Testament watched the carnage and said: "Well, at least I'm not alone in this crap anymore," before he also got PWNed for no apparent reason.

Then Gato appeared. "What the hell am I doing here?" he demanded, before again everyone PWNed him.

"Hey. Smelly-Hair. Long time no see."

"Shut up, you potato-loving pervert…."

–and Thai kick boxer outfit: Joe Higashi!

"Hello, Anji Mito! We meet again! And in this new fight, I will win!"

Now, _that got Anji out of his dilemma and into his 'superhero' mode. "Never!" The bespectacled Japanese revealed his Stopping Fans and got into his fighting pose. "I will not let you ruin my wedding!"_

"Stow it," Baiken growled as she pushed her husband aside to deal with this insipid Joe. "Our wedding is already done and we're already married."

Joe and Anji stare at her for a long moment, realized she was right, nodded, then grinned.

"Then, I will not let you ruin my wedding night reception!"

"And I don't care about weddings and wedding receptions! All I care about is revenge! Besides," Joe added, "You never invited me!"

"You're not Japanese." Baiken then thought it over, and then added: "At least, you're not Japanese enough by our measures."

"And now I and my darling wife will kick your ass!" Anji agreed.

Joe laughed recklessly. "I didn't come without allies!" And out of nowhere came Goenitz (KOF), Jinn (Marvel VS Capcom) and Haomahru (Last Blade 2). The bunch of them got into silly fighting poses and yelled:

"TEAM CYCLONE! Blast off at the speed of light! Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"I cannot believe I agreed to this," unhappily muttered Yuuki. "I am _so_ going to kill Nintendo…"

Anji took the lead in attacking Team Cyclone. But Joe knew this would happen. "Now!" he yelled, as Team Cyclone's members –all of whom used tornado attacks– all launched their projectile moves one after the other.

Joe's tornado hit first, sending Anji into the air. As Anji recovered in mid-air and began to fall down, Goenitz hit next, blasting Anji up into the air again. Then Hamomahru's attack hit, then Jinn's 'Jinn Tornado', and then all the others connected in rapid continuous succession. Anji was continually being hit by a stream of never-ending projectiles.

"Ouch, ouch, ow, ow, ouch, ow…" he went as he bounced up and down, up and down, unable to even Psych Burst Counter.

A side-effect of this devastating strategy was that the attacks were blowing up the skirts of all the girls present, earning what fan boys call 'panty-flash action'. The victims included Baiken–

"Damn it! Mind your own damn business, pervert!"

"Argh! That –ow!– is reserved –ouchers!– for me and my Baiken's –augh!– wedding night! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

–Millia–

THWACK!

"I… wasn't… saying anything…"

"Yeah, Johnny, but you were thinking it."

"So you're psychic; so what?"

"And we are now ripping off Starcraft."

–Jam–

"Like, we didn't need to use the tornado on her; all we had to do was let her try kick us!"

"Perverts! Where is Mister Ky when I need him? Oh, he's married already. WAAH!"

–and Hibiki–

_"Waah!_ Lone Wolf-_san_, not even you_?"_

"H-Hibiki! _Gomen!"_

–while all the while Taka Ichiko was watching, absorbed by the fun spectacle–

"He he. Better than my kicking the ass of that half-Brit…"

"As you can see," Sir G was saying in his sleep, "This story is full of unholy hentai scenes, all the creation of the author who claims he is in a coma. And he still leaves it at PG. Flame him. In fact, I'll flame him when I get the chance to do so."

…Back to the uneven battle. Sho Tsuzuku laughed. "Our plan is working!"

"You mean yours." Yuuki was glum. "What a crazy idea. I thought this chapter would be using 19 pages again, but now it looks like we'll only take a short while …"

But then the violent winds being kicked up by Team Cyclone's attacks had reached the stack of wedding gifts. One gift was a very large box whose wrappers were loose and so blew off, revealing–

"What the?"

–a large 27 inch television set that, despite not being plugged into an outlet or anything, was turned on and running–

"That aura!"

–and had a very familiar evil aura.

Sho Tsuzuku's eyes narrowed. "So… you've come back…"

Beside him, That Girl sighed and tipped her glasses, actions natural to her.

From the TV set were two evil eyes glared at the people it so hated; two eyes that glared with a familiar glare.

"This time, Sho Tsuzuku," the TV swore, "I and my girls will PWN your ass! I am what had once been the Box of Doom Mk III! I am now the **Boob Tube of Doom Mk I**!"

Sho did not seem very impressed. "And just what can you do that the old Box couldn't do?"

"I can talk!"

"And?"

"This!" So saying, the BT of Doom's screen began playing a movie. It happened to be a hentai movie, however; a very hot and racy hentai movie. To make it worse, it was ADV hentai movie, complete with tentacle monster!

Yuuki flinched at the horrid scenes and wished she had a remote control unit; in spite of her many dissimilarities with her creator, she did share Sheo Darren's revulsion for hentai notwithstanding what Sir G may say. Then she noticed that Sho Tsuzuku and Taka Ichiko weren't moving. The two insert characters' eyes were glued to the TV screen, their minds hypnotized by the lurid sequences.

"Men." That Girl shook her head in disappointment. "They may be powerful, but they're still men."

Thus immobilized, her allies didn't move to help her as the EFZ girls closed in on Yuuki.

"Perfect. Just perfect…"

As the winds of fortune were turned against Anji in a literal way, two figures arrived. "It seems your teammates have their hand on things," the old man commented.

"It would appear so," the young girl agreed. "Perhaps we can lend a hand?"

"We're villains, remember. Leastways, I am."

"Then we reinvent our villainy. We become villains to our fellow villains."

"Isn't that just restating being a hero?"

"How about I agree to you forming that group of yours in exchange for you agreeing to help out here?"

"Deal, little girl."

"I am not a little girl. You know the reasons why."

"True."

Busy with blasting Anji and blowing up skirts, Joe Higashi was surprised when a voice called to him. "Hey, Broomhead!"

"Eh? Huh!"

Geese Howard smirked. "Double Reppuken."

The Fatal Fury boss' chi projectile blasted Joe off their feet and down to the ground. Before his teammates could react, Geese's adopted daughter Misaki then entered the fray, delivering a close-range Reppuken that blew Jinn and Haomahru away. Then she made way for her 'father', who grabbed Goenitz, said "This is for the SVC Chaos story mode that I should have won if it weren't for you!" and did his "Predictable" throw and followed up with a torrent of Reppukens.

With Team Cyclone still battered from the sudden attack, Geese gestured to Misaki. "Now!" Father and adopted daughter simultaneously executed their Exceed Overdrive: "Raging Force!"

Their combined attacks blasted Team Cyclone into the air, who uttered the infamous lines "It looks like Team Cyclone is blasting off again!" before the WWI Fokker 'Red Baron' triplane from earlier chapters came in out of nowhere and shot at them.

Geese and Misaki watched them go. "Useless," the older Howard said.

"You know," the younger adopted one said, "Sho Tsuzuku sort of looks like you."

"He should be thankful. That was fun," he added.

"_Hai."_

"Not as fun as you'd think," a menacing voice said from behind.

Baiken was burning with rage and totally murderous. So were Millia and Jam and even Hibiki. They were all in just underwear since the Howard father-daughter tandem's combined Raging Force had been so powerful, it had blown off their dresses. Aside, Anji was out cold from all the attacks and seeing the girls in their undies. So were Lee, Johnny and Lone Wolf SIX, the last murmuring in his unconsciousness: "But it isn't _our wedding night yet, Hibiki-__chan…"_

"Uh, oh."

Yuuki had seen the defeat of Team Cyclone, but she had her own worries: Mai Amasagawa, the EFZ fighter girl who was the local Johnny/Hibiki clone, was closing in.

"Prepare to lose, Yuuki!"I will avenge myself and my master for having lost to Sheo Darren and to Sho Tsuzuku! 

That Girl smiled thinly. "I don't think so." Then an intense aura began radiating from her. "You will learn the wrath of That Girl– but the knowledge will not avail you salvation."

"If you are going to use the power of That Girl, it would be suicidal of me to just attack you! I will use my power to release my full strength." Mai charged up her own power and, to test her strength, slashed at a nearby rock into bits. "There, that should do it."

Yuuki slowly took off her glasses and folded them neatly, holding them before her in a loose manner… as if to throw it as a missile, just like K's 'Chain Drive'!

Recognizing the pose, Mai came to a halt. "She will use her most powerful move at once? If I get hit by that strike, she will then be able to hit me with the rest of the attack and I will lose. The key, therefore, must be to dodge that first strike!"

She got into her _battoujitsu pose and then charged. "Here I come! Hiyargh!"_

Not even batting an eyebrow, Yuuki calmly threw her spectacles at her.

Timing her move to the second, Mai waited until the right moment. Then she ducked down and under the projectile –just barely. The glasses whirled over her hair but missed.

"Yes! I dodged it! Now, I–"

Before she could react, Yuuki was in front of her. "Gotcha," That Girl murmured as she executed her version of the Heat Drive.

Mai was sent flying all across the screen and crumpled to the ground. The swordie girl was in pained disbelief. "Y-You _let_ me dodge the first attack in order to set-up the true attack that nails the target when I least expected it–during my successful dodge…"

"Ripping off _Rurouni Kenshin is pretty useful." As Yuuki picked up and put her glasses back on, she saw Taka Ichiko break into chuckles while he watched the hentai film. That burst of laughter got Sho Tsuzuku out of his hypnosis, who then tapped Taka Ichiko out of the trance._

"Ah. It was a clever trick, Box," admitted Sho Tsuzuku, "But not clever enough." So saying, he and Taka Ichiko attached a PS2 to the BT of Doom Mk 1 and began playing the old Atari Pong game. The BT of Doom was unable to do anything as its powers were neutralized and it was subjected to psychological torture of the worst kind: Mindless gaming concept.

"We've won." Yuuki allowed herself a sigh of contentment. "I guess this is the end…"

"_Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"_

To the surprise of opponents and teammates alike, Mai was somehow on her feet and stumbling towards That Girl. "No! I won't let our group lose again! I will protect our master whatever the cost!"

Shaking her head in exasperation, Yuuki took off her glasses again.

But Mai had come to a halt, settling into a very familiar pose with sword sheathed, the right side of her body tilted forward and right foot before her left. Her eyes were burning with determination as she somehow found in herself the strength to launch that most ultimate attack of the ultimate sword technique!

Yuuki only had enough time to murmur, "That is–" before Mai unleashed her desperate strike:

**"_AMAKAKE RYU NO HIREMEKI!!!!!!!!!!!"_**

"_Yamete!"_

Chloe was holding her head and cringing, even as paper rained all around her. "I won't let you! I won't let you!"

The P4's printer was churning out a deluge of documents: Copies of the script. All the while Chloe seemed to be fighting some unnatural battle raging within her.

"_Yamete! Kirika! _Onegai!_ Help me, Noir! I can't hold out much longer… but I can't let it win! I mustn't… read… the **OMAKE** section… __shigau!"_

It was a losing battle. Beaten, the assassin girl was forced by an unseen power to pick up the scattered sheets of paper and –hands and voice trembling in a last-ditch effort of resistance– began reading the script.

In Athena's Own Heaven…

Sol Badguy grumped.

Beside him, Iori commented on the obvious: "You don't seem happy."

"Who'd be given my position?"

"Your position in enviable, actually. You're immortal, powerful, are popular in a twisted sort of way, Queen's biggest fan, Daisuke Ishiwatari personified, and you have two girl admirers who are totally crazy over you."

"You got the crazy part all right, Yagami." Sol gestured with the half-consumed Marlboro in his mouth towards his objects of polite detestations.

After defeating the clone Kyo Kusanagi army sent by N.E.S.T.S., Justine and Athena had dropped their temporary alliance and resumed their rivalry for the affection of the Guilty Gear. They'd even gone so far as to hold a contest with Iori as judge.

"Why is it I feel like I'm opening a whole can of worms by agreeing to judge?"

"It's Paris and the Golden Apple, you dumb-ass. The bastard's decision led to the Trojan War. Didn't you study your Greek mythology?"

"I did. But I got kicked out of school when I went Orochi on the History teacher and mangled Mr. Garrison."

"Kids today..."

The first round was the evening gown competition, and that was when things started being awry.

"Hah!" Justine made fun of Athena's gown, which looked rather silly per SNK/KOF policy until SVC Chaos. "Unlike you, I have good taste in clothing!"

"Why you!" The Psycho Soldier made a grab for her rival but instead ripped off the Gear girl's gown instead.

"Hey! That was a perfectly good gown!"

"Just like those strip matches on WWE," Sol grumbled while Iori got a good eyeful of Justine's slim figure, or at least until Sol bonked him.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"I'm getting old and protective of kids. Fear me."

"Hah!" It was Athena's turn to smirk as she revealed her two-piece bathing suit. "My swimsuit is better than yours!"

Having only modest one-piece swimsuits per some unknown policy of Sheo Darren, Justine shook a fist at her. "At least I won the evening gown competition!"

And there was the talent segment, where Athena sung whatever songs by Queen she could think of –alas, she only knew the **_refrains_**– while Justine presented her awesome hobby as Justice: **Sleeping**.

Iori said: "The Grass-Growing Competition I went to in Iowa is far more exciting."

Chipp said: "Grass? Oh, yeah, more drugs– err, I mean, I'm clean! Honest!"

Sol said: "Bandit Revolver."

Chii said: "Chii! Chii will protect Chipp!"

Black Chii said: "Chii! Black Chii will destroy Chipp!"

Chii said: "Chii! No! Chii will not let you hurt Chipp!"

Sol said: "Chii– aw, screw it; I meant: What a stupid story…"

Then the tie-breaker part: The fight sequence! Athena and Justine faced off in the wrestling ring that had appeared out of nowhere and got into their fighting poses and mouthed off their entrance quotes:

"Athena, _ikimasu!"_

"What is this–this mysterious feeling?"

All the angels in Athena's Own Heaven began cheering for Athena. An army of Gears appeared and began cheering for Justine. Iori offered Sol some popcorn. Sol told Iori a bad word. Iori miffed and just ate his popcorn. Pretty civilized so far, isn't it?

"That's when I start looking for the falling meteor to hit me," Sol grumbled.

Suddenly, a meteor appeared in the sky, falling down from heaven–

"Shit."

–and it hit Sol.

When the explosion ended and the dust cleared away, as the worried Justine and Athena raced to his side, as angels and Gears gasped, as Iori dropped his popcorn in shock and dawning horror, Sol heard a voice and saw a sight that made him go cold.

The small form crumpled on the ground before him staggered to her feet and lifted her cute face up to Sol's own, her hyperactive smile chilling him, the voice she used to bug her crush scaring the Guilty Gear in a way he didn't think possible.

_Fruit's Basket_'sKagura whispered:

"SOL-KUN…"

The battle between the Box of Doom –correction, the Boob Tube of Doom Mk I– and Yuuki's group had been aborted by way of a stunning development. Mai Amasagawa had managed to defeat Yuuki using Amakake Ryu No Hiremeki before fainting from exhaustion and battle injury. No intention to lose for their part, Sho Tsuzuku and Taka Ichiko summoned the Purple Dinosaur and sent it to wreak doom and horror upon the guests. It was, after all, a Barney clone, only worse.

That is, until Earl Osborne arrived.

This story will not go into detail about how Earl massacred the Purple Dinosaur. Suffice it to say that the Permanent God Mode soldier-of-insanity hated Barney and Teletubbies and could actually transform into a paladin warrior of light and call down a rain of Particle Cannon fire from C&C General: Zero Hour's US Superpower General. That was when Sho and Taka decided to make a 'tactical maneuver' –in essence a retreat– and, toting Yuuki along, escaped aboard the flying rubber ducky. The ruby ducky's silly appearance distracted everyone enough to also allow the EFZ girls to grab the Boob Tube of Doom Mk I and Mai.

As for the Purple Dinosaur?

**Earl Osborne killed Purple Dinosaur with AK-74S high explosive armor piercing radar guided homing laser ammunition.**

"I'll get you, Sho! I'll get you if it's the last thing I do!"

Inside the rubber ducky, Sho Tsuzuku and Taka Ichiko observed the insensible Yuuki as she lay unconscious upon her bed. "Well," the former began, "That was one effort that went to waste."

"I thought the P4 was going to have Baiken do the Hiremeki?"

"Nah. Sheo probably decided to make it dramatic."

"Sheo?"

"Yes. I believe he still influences this story. If this was _my_ story, I'd mess with Yuuki in order to get some kicks out of life."

"Well, at least Arvi isn't here to take advantage of her helplessness."

"Did someone call me?" Arvi asked. Then he saw the cute Yuuki lying unconscious on the bed and added: "Ooh, a cute little girl who can't defend herself. I like cute little girls…"

Sho and Taka exchanged looks. "Lolita Syndrome," the latter offered.

"Ah, yes. Shame that our ally is about to learn what turned _Noir_'s Altena into the sicko we all know and love to hate."

SMASH!

A giant anvil had flattened Arvi before he could take a step towards Yuuki.

"Ow. Darn convenient plot device…"

"I didn't know Yuuki could do that," a puzzled Taka said as he scratched his head.

"She can't," Sho answered with interest. "It appears a different power is taking interest in her well-being…"

"Still static?"

The EFZ girls, minus Mai who was unconscious and Nayuki who was asleep, worried over the Boob Tube of Doom. The TV's screen was full of static/electronic snow/bad reception messages.

The next day, after the wedding reception had ended…

When Anji and Baiken went out of their room for breakfast, it was already late in the morning. They found a rather worried Bridget who seemed to be looking for someone.

"_Ohayou, Bridget-_chan_," Anji greeted. "Any problem?"_

"If I did tell you what it was, you'd think I'm silly and irresponsible."

"So what is it?" Baiken pressed.

Bridget grimaced. "I can't find my wife."

The newly-married couple stared at the blushing blonde Brit boy.

"You're right," Anji agreed. "You are silly and irresponsible."

"Bloody alliteration," Baiken grumbled.

"By the way," and here Bridget adopted a guarded response: "How was your wedding night?"

The two Japanese smiled. "Fine. Just fine. We had the first of many hopefully great nights together."

"No one attacked you?"

"No."

"No one intruded into your room to make a video?"

"No."

"You didn't find someone who looked like your partner in the bed with you?"

"No."

A big drop of sweat formed on Bridget's forehead. "That's weird."

It was Sammy who found the unconscious Chloe sprawled on the floor. At first the kitten that was no kitten did not pay her any attention. Then it decided to try score a few points of trust with the girls –the better to backstab them later– by running off to fetch help. Kirika had come running at once, and with Rei's help she had gotten Chloe to the medical center.

All the girls wondered what had happened to Chloe. A clue was the scattered sheets of paper found beside her. Curious, Tessa decided to read the contents out aloud.

THIS CHAPTER, EVIL RISES. DARKNESS FALLS.

THIS IS NOT A PUN.

Upon a tall mountain top, a girl watches over the world she will destroy. Her long brown hair flies wild in the air, unrestrained by the silly hat that had for years held it back. Her eyes are no longer brown; they are crimson and full of evil, and so is her smile.

"You promised… you promised me… we will see… if you keep your promise… your promise to me…"

FOR IT IS ONLY IN THESE TIMES OF DARKNESS…

To quote Kenshin: "Oro?"

To quote Baiken who happened to notice Kenshin: "You imitator! Die Hard: Arcade Version!"

To quote Saitou: "I'm bored. _Soba, anyone?"_

To quote Kula: "Can I have a candy, please?"

To quote Enishi: "This is for Tomoe-_oneesan! _Battousai_, prepare for your _Jinchu_!"_

To quote Talim: "_Saan ang kuya _ Sheo_ ko?"_

To quote a Budweiser commercial: "WAZZUPP!!"

To quote Blackheart: "Nevermore!"

To quote Lone Wolf SIX: "Aside from italicizing some of Saitou and Enishi's words and translating Talim's part into Tagalog, this was bodily quoted from my fan fiction."

…THAT A HERO ARISES TO COMBAT IT AND SAVE THE WORLD.

Heero Yuy gave the camera his patented death glare before shooting it. "_Omae wo korosu."_

Aside, the Jin Zapper was holding up a placard saying, "Sheo, _ituloy mo na yung _**Reminiscent Memories** _na fan fiction __mo! You promised!"_

Also aside, The Greatest Fan Of Duo Maxwell was holding up a placard saying, "_Sheo, ang manyak mo talaga! Hahahahahahahahaha!"_

Again also aside, Ookami No Mibu was holding up a placard saying, "_Ilagay mo ako sa hentai fan fic na kasama si Chigusa, Quon atsaka Chii, ah?"_

THIS WORLD NEEDS A HERO.

A fateful wind blows around the nun in blue hood and habit, taking away the sheet of paper she had been browsing.

"Just seventeen pages for this chapter huh? Wish Chrno could see me now."

So saying, Sister Rosette walked into the sunset, not knowing what role she would play in the future chapters…

MORE IMPORTANTLY–

Inside a certain bedroom, the bed is noticeably empty, even of the plushie toys that surrounded the one who had until recently slept here.

–THIS HERO NEEDS A WORLD TO SAVE.

"_Watashi wa Swordsman. Defend the right…"_


	9. 8 O, Ayan: PG13 Na Yung Rating

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived By: The P4 Computer

Written By: The P4 computer

           Sheo Darren is currently –well, if you immediately know what happened to him, the story will be spoiled. Suffice it to say that you will be surprised –or not, depending on how good are you at predicting plot outcomes, especially the cliched ones. And now the self-deprecating –actually, just 'deprecating', since Sheo is not writing this about himself… or however which way you'd want to view this entire idea of third-person-view/God View.

           And yes, Sol, the P4 knows: You don't want to have anything to do with God.

           Rated PG 13 for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc.

Coupling: **Sol Badguy **and **Kagura**/Justine Harrier/Athena Asamiya.****

           Sheo Darren and the P4 does not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. As you may have noted, this story takes the word 'cross-over' and –in typical Japanese over-exaggeration though the author and his computer are Filipino– goes over the edge. So far, it's featured Guilty Gear, a ton of SNK and Street Fighter, Hellsing, Chobits, Fruit's Basket, Gundam Wing and Chrno Crusade among other things, and there's bound to be more insanity in the works. Also, the disclaimers have been improving in quality. Now, on to the story…

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc Two**

**Two Gears, A Goddess And A Little Piggy Who Went 'Kyoh-kun'…**

**Episode 1: O, Ayan: PG-13 Na Yung Rating…**

(Translation: There; The Rating Is Now PG-13)

Blackheart ZERO, Kaiser Ryouga II, TRUE Unknown and his 'Organization Of Fans Who Want To See Bridget And Dizzy Go At It Like Rabbits', Person With Many Aliases and Sir G found themselves inside a comfy bedroom that could not mask the sound of machinery and not totally disguise the rolling motion that was of the Ultrasaurus they were riding in. All being Guilty Gear writers who had at one point or another written an absolutely crazy fan fiction story where the plot shifts like mad and fellow authors are teleported into the story and turned into unwitting victims, they weren't surprised.

"Hey, what the hell are we doing here?" TRUE Unknown, a torch in hand and the official GG art book in the other, looked vastly annoyed. "We were supposed to start burning those Bridget/May fans at the stake already…"

(In a far away place, tied up to a stake with wood piled up at their feet and oiled soaking their clothes, **Too lazy to log in and **i**, both anonymous reviewers of _The Wedding Night,_ sigh in relief. They thought they were about to get cooked.)**

Kaiser Ryouga II was unconcernedly reading a book. "Hopefully Sheo or any rabid fan of May in the vicinity will no longer harp about that story I made about I-Nou and May, seeing that I've discontinued it… for a while…"

"I haven't sent my flame yet," Sir G was complaining, "And I'm getting a new cameo role all at once? Oh, well–"

Person WMA yelled: "Where's Mina-_chan_? Give me my Mina-_chan_!"__

Before the assorted authors and fans was the source of recent headaches and review flames in the Guilty Gear section of fanfiction.net –at least, the supposed _true source of those headaches: The P4 computer of Sheo Darren, its aura perfectly neutral._

"I'd suppose you've brought us here to explain why your story became so serious all of a sudden?" Blackheart presumed, taking the role of spokesman for his groupies.

The P4's HP printer rapidly printed out its answer: AMONG OTHER THINGS, YES.

"Don't you find it inconvenient to waste so much time, paper and ink to answer?" Person WMA jokingly asked. "Greenpeace must hate you."

**True on both counts, the P4 answered in an unaccented and definitely female voice. **But the P4 does have unlimited resources at its disposal and does not fear some old nature-loving Captain Planet of a Jesuit curmudgeon. If Father Macayan ever saw the Read Or Die TV series, he would go berserk like Sheo does whenever one slanders Tomoyo Daidouji, like Taka Ichiko does.****

There was a long moment of silence as everyone stared at the computer in shock.

**The P4 supposes you did not understand its references to figures that only it, Sheo and a select few would understand as a private in-joke? Also, that you did not expect it to reply in a manner such as this? Especially the female voice?**

"A little of each," the skeptical Blackheart admitted, "Plus the fact that this entire idea is, to quote Chisaii404, 'Very silly'."

"It's Sheo's computer all right," Person WMA noted; "It refers to itself in the third person. It's also just as crazy."

"It even uses the same bold text," Kaiser Ryouga pointed out.

**A matter of convenience.******

"Are you really Sheo Darren?" Sir G thought to ask. "This just has to be some kind of crazy pretend show, right?"

**No, the P4 is not Sheo. They are two entirely different and separate identities. Of course, it depends on how you see things. Have you ever had a dream that was so real, you could not distinguish the dream world from the real world?**

"Maytrix–err, Matrix rip-off," Blackheart said with a grin "That was my copyright."

"Then what did you bring us all here for?" TRUE Unknown snapped. "And hurry up with it; me and company are supposed to burn Bridget/May fans today."

(Already, **Too lazy to log in and **I** were free of their ropes and running away very quickly.)**

**Very well.**** The P4 has messages it wishes to convey to all of you.**

In the background, the GG theme** _Still in the Dark_ begins to play. All the authors become uneasy.**

**First off, for TRUE Unknown. The P4 pauses dramatically. ****Don't burn Bridget/May fans on the stake. And don't even think to hack into the server and delete _The Wedding Night._**

"What do you mean, we can't?" TRUE Unknown brandished his torch at the P4. "_You_'re making _us_ do it, you stupid machine! It's your story!"

**The P4 does not need to explain; it only needs to state the obvious.**

TRUE Unknown made some grisly threats that involved his turning into a T-Rex as he warned in his review of _The Wedding Night 2 Prologue._

**A pity Sho Tsuzuku is not here to help the P4 explain why you cannot do so in sadistically silly yet logically supportable terms. For Kaiser Ryouga II: Sheo sends his thanks for sparing May. Sheo also asks what kind of temple you'd like in order to be persuaded to put the story on hold indefinitely.**

"A temple would be nice," the Kaiser said as he considered his options. "I'll think about it…"

**Third: Blackheart ZERO. In your review of Chapter 16: Author Wars II, you stated that you were expecting a more visible and plot-critical role you wanted. All right; the P4 will give you such a role in the coming episodes. Satisfied?**

"Okay." Blackheart then added, "I seem to remember fanfiction.net had a rule saying that these kinds of intros were illegal."

**There is always a loophole. Finally, for Person WMA…**

The aforementioned GG writer looked up in expectation. "Mina-_chan?"_

**…Sheo sends this message. Quote: 'WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIT MAY WITH A STAFF IN _KEEPER OF THE SYSTEM_? AND YOU EGGED LONE WOLF SIX INTO MAKING A BRIDGET/DIZZY PAIRING IN THE GG FANTASY ADVENTURE? NOBODY MESSES WITH MAY. YOU ARE SO DEAD WHEN I COME BACK.' End Quote.**

"…Right…"

**Finally, this message is for Lone Wolf SIX.**

"Lone Wolf isn't here," Blackheart was saying.

**He is _now_...**

Speaking of the GG author, who else came in but Lone Wolf SIX? "I could forgive you for hacking into my story, but messing with Hibiki is a no-no. I will show you the horror that Team Cyclone suffers in my Abyss!"

The scene cuts to show the following: Joe Higashi being chased by Jason from the _Halloween movies, the latter brandishing a big lawn scissors and planning to give the kick boxer a really bad hair cut–_

"Aaaaaaaaaah! Bogeyman! Mommy! I promise I'll be good!"

–Goenitz on a horse and armored like a knight, fighting windmills that he thought were giants–

"Very Don Quixote-like– OW! Stupid windmill! I'll– OW! OUCH!"

"What were you saying?" the windmill-like Gundam Nether asked as it blasted Goenitz with its beam cannons.

–Jin in his Blodia being mobbed by a never-ending swarm of Squatter Mech (a.k.a _0079 Gundam's_ Zaku), Kupal Mech (_Gundam__ Wing's Leo) and Jologs Mech (__Gundam_ SEED's_ GINN)–_

"I had it better off," Person WMA commented wryly, remembering his own time spent in the Abyss as he watched the Blodia swamped a la Zergling rush. "At least I had a machine gun to even the score."

–Haohmahru being readied to be cooked on a spit by TRUE Unknown and the OOFWWTSBADGATLR, the last having discovered the _Last Blade 2_ fighter was an anti-Bridget/Dizzy-pairing fan–

"But I'm telling you! Dizzy-Zappa may be weird, but it's cool!"

"Enough talk! DIE!"

–and, last but not the least, Geese Howard and his adopted daughter Misaki, who were –as punishment for stripping Hibiki and company of their kimonos last chapters– forced to fight a Terry Bogard who had just lost both of his girlfriends and was fully into the 'Curse of the Lone Wolf' thing–

"Are you okay? BUSTER WOLF!"

"A waste of four pages and good bandwidth, Terry…"

"Dad, can we forget smart-ass comments and just beat this guy?"

"You are correct. Now: Double Reppuken!"

"Get out of here!"

Now, back to the P4-Lone Wolf SIX face-off…

"You had the gall to invade my domain! Without my permission! And you dare to mess with my relationship with Hibiki, eh?" The fury of Lone Wolf SIX could not be slaked, as a rope fell from the sky next to him. "Prepare to meet your maker!"

**Before you send the P4 off to the Abyss, it would like to note that Lone Wolf SIX's _Guilty Gear versus SNK_ story and Sheo Darren's _The Wedding Night 2 story are actually intertwined closely. That is, they both stem from the same general dimension since both authors extensively borrowed and quoted from each other, though each possesses distinct and unique elements to them. Sheo would like to keep the correspondence._**

"Oh. Okay." Then Lone Wolf SIX pulled the rope, and the P4 plunged into the nether darkness of the Abyss…

And now, on to the real story proper.

In Athena's Own Heaven…

It was all Sol could do not to reel back in terror as right before him unfolded the horror of a thousand worlds, the horror that could never be matched by his worst nightmares as Frederick Mercury and as the Guilty Gear. Even as powerful as he was, even though he'd stared death in the eye a hundred times and never flinched, this time, Sol knew dread.

"Sol-_chan_!"

Justine Harrier and Athena Asamiya were running towards him. Forgotten was their rivalry for the Guilty Gear's affection; their Sol-_chan was in trouble! Already Justine was activating her command Gear mode while Athena's sword and shield materialized out of nowhere. But they were too far._

Iori Yagami was not much help, either, paralyzed as he was not because of horror or disgust, but because of sheer disbelief that such a ridiculous outcome could happen. So much for the vaunted Orochi fighter…

Before him, the object of his dread, managed to stand up more or less properly, slightly hunched as she was. In a sibilant tone that was a mix between Gollum's rasp and cute anime _seiyuu_, the girl who was Kagura whimpered:

"Sol-_kun…"_

"Oh, my God," Iori mumbled. He had a penchant for mumbling.

Forgetting Kagura for a moment, Sol turned and snarled: "God? I don't want to have anything to do with Him! Much less, why would He have to do anything with _you?"_

"Just because I am nice and normal for a while, you guys pick on me already?"

"Shut up, smart ass. And why are you so out of character?"

"Well," Iori began calmly, "If you really want to know, the Orochi power had been taken from me. Therefore, I no longer have Orochi powers and am no longer as evil as before. Plus, I'm really not some berserker guy; fans just keep on making me as that."

"The censored you are."

"Plot development, Sol. Three guesses who did this to me?"

Watching them above a tall building conveniently located near the group, Sho Tsuzuku is framed dramatically against the horizon, chuckling evilly as he watches the silly spectacle of Sol, Iori, Athena, Justine and Kagura. "Ah, this is more like it. I am truly in my element now: The element of sadistic evil!"

Beside him was a girl, his silent companion and minion. Among other things, she was dressed in a tight black leotard, had brown hair tied up in a ponytail and was radiating the power of the Orochi. She was also _not Yuuki._

"Uh, the P4? Sheo? Yuuki?"

"Wrong. All wrong. You don't win a lifetime supply of cherry pop soda tart."

"The hell I don't. Now: Why the hell did you mumble, 'Oh, my God'?"

"Why the hell do you think people mumble 'Oh, my God'?"

Sol shoved the flaming _Fuenken_ nearly into Iori's face.

"Just when I decide to make jokes, you guys pick on me."

"Just give me the censored answer!"

Athena stopped for a moment, waggled a finger at Sol, and scolded: "Bad word!"

Sol wanted to yell something offensive at the stupid ditz, but then he saw shock reach her eyes and Justine's. Beside him, Iori raised an eyebrow in surprise.

Her arms slipping around Sol's neck as she draped himself on his muscular frame Kagura sweetly warbled into his ear: "Sol-_kun_…"

She had not said 'Kyoh-_kun_', as she was wont to do.

Kagura had said, **_Sol-kun_**_._

"Oh, shit…"

"Huh? A hot spring resort?"

April and Jack hadn't expected to stumble upon this piece of good luck. Good luck for them had been as scarce as an honest politician in the Philippines; in the same way, bad luck had certainly had its run with them.

For those who have forgotten or are too lazy to refer back to Chapter 6, April and Jack had gotten into a very nasty fight. The former blamed the latter for getting dragged into a mud wrestling match; the latter thought the former was ungrateful as hell and a real bitch. Their fight drew much attention from the crowds and got everyone betting on who'd win, with a shady-looking Filipino managing the entire thing.

The battle was exciting as it degenerated into strip contest. April had no problem shredding off Jack's clothes, at least until he was reduced to just boxer shorts; a decent girl despite her intense and as-yet unexplained hatred for Bridget's twin, April had at that moment decided to hell with stripping and just pummel Jack. On the odd side, Jack simply could not tear even a small piece off his opponent's costume. April, however, was already dressed up in a skimpy formfitting outfit, so there really was no need to reduce her to a half-naked state as she already_ was half-naked._

Thus, in the heat of their combat, the two fighters simultaneously attacked each other with double clotheslines and were double-KO'd, much to the delight of the excited audience –until they realized that none of them won their bet. The only winner of the contest was the shady Filipino manager, who had run off with all the gambling bets when everyone was not looking. You could never really trust those guys, especially the ones from Virra Mall.

To top a really stressful day off, Jack had lost his shotgun and April lost her remaining clothes. So, they were forced to trek all across the rough and windy terrain in just boxers and _domme_ gear, unarmed and looking totally ridiculous.

"I now know how cold Bridget's ass gets when the wind blows upwards."

"Will you quite complaining about your stupid ass?"

"Fine... Come to think of it: _You've got a nice ass, April."_

"Pervert. I don't know why Sheo Darren puts up with you."

"Like Ebs: Metal Freak and Akihiro Tanabe and Ookami no Mibu say: Sheo is a closet pervert, that's why."

"I'm going to tell him you said that when he comes back."

"_If he comes back."_

"Oh, he will. He will."

Then:

"Huh? A hot spring?"

It was indeed a hot spring resort, with pretty decent facilities for something found in a country renowned for embezzlement when it concerns commissions and funds. It was also a Japanese-style hot spring resort, which was the puzzling thing.

Jack: "What the hell is a _hot spring resort doing here in the Philippines? Much more, a _Japanese_ hot spring resort?"_

April: "Plot device, moron."

There was a long spell of silence as the wind blew dramatically. Then, April and Jack gave each other pleased looks, simultaneously grinned and said: "Oh, yeah! We're on a roll!"

When they entered, they were surprised to see two familiar figures already there.

"April!"

"Jack?"

"Jack."

"Hikki."

"Wow, all our punctuations are unique…"

Hikki (Lone Wolf SIX's created character) and Jack (Blackheart ZERO's created character) exchanged high fives with April and Jack in greeting.

"Hey, how's it been, guys?" Jack looked exactly like Bridget except she was a real girl and had brown hair. "The last time we saw you was in Chapter 3. Where'd you go?"

Jack –that is, Sheo's created character who was Bridget's twin– was going to answer the question posed by Jack –this one being Blackheart's– but then realized that there was a slight bit of a problem: They were both named Jack, they were both connected to Bridget and sort of looked alike and that got everyone confused, especially the readers.

"Why did Sheo ever call me Jack?" Jack muttered.

"It's because he couldn't think of any other name that'd fit," offered the other Jack. "Be thankful he didn't go out with his original idea and make you a girl."

"What?"

"Originally, he conceived Bridget's twin as a girl. Neat, huh? His friend Akihiro Tanabe actually prefers to perceive your brother as a girl, while yet another friend of Sheo –a friend known by the silly name of Doctor Thrax– actually had a daydream about the two of them making out in a room full of rose petals."

"That isn't half bad…"

"The friend in question was a guy."

"Oh." Then both Jack characters and April added: "Yuck."

"I cross-dress as Jam but I am a boy!" Hikki declaimed proudly. "Beat that!"

"Lone Wolf _will beat that when he gets his hands on __you," one of the two Jack characters said. "In fact, he'll beat __you."_

"See Chapter 21 of GG versus SNK," April offered to the readers.

"Nobody messes with Hibiki," muttered Jack under his breath.

Hikki looked confused. "Which Jack said that? The guy or the girl?"

"Can we stop this senseless waste of bandwidth now?"

"No, we still have to resolve how we will distinguish one Jack from the other Jack."

"I hate these pointless side stories."

"We_ could just call you John," girl Jack said._

"Shut up, Jack," boy Jack said. He then added: "No one also call me Guy Jack; that's Tekken."

"Fine, fine: I will now on be called Jackie," Blackheart's Jack generously allowed. "Or at least in _The Wedding Night 2 _only and when I'm around you."

"So, what are we here for, anyway?"

"Didn't you know?" Hikki had a know-it-all expression on his face reminiscent of Bridget. The P4 is adding fan service to the next chapter, and we're tagged for it."

"Oh." Then both Jacks and April added, "Oh, crap."

Nazareth, TRUE Unknown's character in his new story, looked up to where he was seated with Axl Low. "Well, at least I didn't get dragged into _that_ mess."

Axl groaned: "You just had to say that…"

A time slip opened up from under them. Nazareth fell into it.

It was a pleasant morning that was the calm before the storm.

After having that fight with Rock and Hotaru, Ky and Dizzy went off on their long-delayed honeymoon. They still haven't had sex with each other as they were still in trauma after the events in Chapters 3 and 4 of this fan fiction, but they were happy and contented.

This morning, Ky had just opened his morning paper to read the news. Dizzy was outside playing with the local wildlife. There was an army of cute critters surrounding the half-Gear girl: Birds, rabbits, deer, Porings, Poporings, Marings, one Angelring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them in the land of Mordor –but the story digresses–, every now or then a Smokie (at least, when it wasn't disguised itself as something else) a Plankton that looked very out of place, several Cobolds and a Wanderer. The last two groups of creatures would sometimes run off and attack passers-by for the prerequisite random battles in any RPG.

"I feel like I'm a million dollars," Dizzy quoted a certain fan art picture of hers. "I like animals."

But, who'd appear but Hotaru, herself surrounded by a lot of moths, the weird butterflies in Millia's stage, Chonchons, Steel Chonchons, Hunter Flies, Lord of the Flies (not the book; the monster), Creamies and Dustinesses.

The two girls stared at each other a bit menacingly but overall cute in effect. "What are _you doing here?" they both demanded at the same time._

Back at the Kiske house, Ky was surprised when Rock Howard dropped by for a visit.

"You aren't going to trick me again with that," Geese's biological son warily said as he eyed the hand the French knight proffered to him.

"This isn't Lone Wolf SIX's fan fiction, dummy. Besides, we have a truce."

"Where's your wife?"

"Enjoying the scenery and playing with animals. Where's _your _wife?"

"Enjoying the scenery and–" Rock came to a bleak stop.

"Playing with the animals?" an equally dismal Ky asked.

"Yes."

They heard the explosions and the battle cries and saw the swarm of animals fleeing the forest and knew what was happening.

"I am _so gonna __kill that P4," Ky muttered as he and Rock ran for their wives._

"For once? I agree. Save some of it for me."

"Deal."

Baiken was roused from her sleep by the explosion. "Who the damn hell is creating that damn racket so damn early in the damn morning?"

"Next to Sol, you're the GG character who swears the most," Anji commented.

"Oh, shut up. Look outside and see who's mucking up the peace, will you?"

The Japanese politician and newly-wed looked outside the window for a while, then pulled down the blinds and plopped back on the bed. "Just those two kids who look alike, Dizzy and Hotaru, trying to kill each other. As usual…"

"The way those two are going," Baiken grumbled as more explosions resounded, "They'd be perfect for a _yuri_ couple. Just like Sol and Ky."

Remembering all those insane Anji/Chipp fluff fics on the server, Anji shuddered and decided to forget about the entire _yaoi/yuri_ thing. "So, what's for breakfast?"

"Haven't you forgotten, Anji-_kun_." Baiken smiled; something she did more frequently these past few days. "You're the one who's cooking."

"Yes, ma'am."

Back to Athena's Own Heaven…

It was all Sol could do not to freak out at Kagura's hug. The Guilty Gear was not exactly an affectionate person –and as Sol glares at the camera, the script amends itself:

Sol was not an affectionate person. He also wasn't the fan boy type who'd nosebleed into unconsciousness when a cute girl came into close and intimate and sexy contact. Sol also had put up with Justine for quite some time now, and had added Athena to the repertoire recently. What was a third girl to him?

Actually, it wasn't so bad to have Kagura snuggling up to him. She was so slim light that Sol almost didn't notice she was there, lying right on top of him; that was how she was so light in weight. And she had sweet-smelling breath and a nice voice and a really endearing way of hugging him. And the way she was pressed upon his back brought back Sol's memories of watching _Chobits Episode 1 when he was still loser boy young Frederick Mercury with a libido. Kyoh never knew what he missed, the Guilty Gear decided._

Then he saw two girls doing the 'death glare' at him and Kagura. Sol knew his blissful moment was about to turn into hell.

"Damn."

Justine Harrier and Athena Asamiya weren't so much upset as they were aflame with jealousy and anger. Together, the Gear girl and Goddess girl's auras were rising to a level of power that Iori noticed: The auras reached out to where he was sitting and burned him.

"OW! That hurt! What did I ever do to you in this chapter to deserve this?"

"Collateral damage," Sol told him.

"You…" Justine and Athena were really pissed off. "_You_ dare take _our SOL-CHAN? __You dare _impose_ yourself on our SOL-CHAN?"_

Behind Sol, Kagura slowly lifted her head to give her two rivals a chilling stare. "Sol-_kun is Kagura-__chan's. Sol-__kun is not yours or anyone else's. Especially not Ky's."_

Running as they were pell-mell towards their feuding wives, Rock was surprised to hear Ky suddenly sneeze very hard. "Bless you," he did say.

"Thank you. Who was thinking of me?"

"Maybe Sol?"

A horrified Ky stared at him.

"I was joking," Rock said. "Really. Can't you take a joke?"

"No way!" Justine shook her fist at Kagura. "You'd have to do it over our dead bodies!"

For once, Athena agreed with her erstwhile rival and temporary ally. "You'll have to fight us for him first!"

Kagura moved away from Sol and stalked towards her two opponents. "Kagura-_chan will defeat Justine-_chan_ and Athena-_chan_. Kagura-_chan_ will have Sol-_kun_." She began radiating an impressive aura; after all, she _was_ the second-generation Justice Mk II unit created by Yuuki, and despite having been beaten by Justine in Chapter 5 of __The Wedding Night 2._

"Hey." Sol looked a bit annoyed as he raised his hand. "Don't I get a say in this?"

No one paid any attention to him.

"censored."

"On the count of three," Justine whispered to Athena as Kagura approached, "We'll hit her with our most powerful attacks _and_ summon our Strikers."

"All at once?"

"This isn't Dragonball Z. We are not going to waste a dozen chapters on one five-minute scene."

"Okay."

Goddess and Gear got ready to execute their team-up move a la Marvel VS Capcom as Kagura shambled closer. "One!"

Iori was running for cover at the count of, "Two!" A wise decision –but a fruitless gesture…

Lighting up his last Marlboro, Sol growled under his breath as he activated Fortress Block/Faultless Defense on–

"Three!"

"ANGEL LASER! MODE ZERO!"

"Pegasus! Strike down from Heaven to my aid!"

The renamed and improved Gamma Ray struck first, a gigantic ray of charged particles that hit Kagura head on. At the same time, the winged horse Pegasus dropped down from Heaven and crashed upon Kagura. All the angels and Gears present were also firing off their own attacks, adding to the destruction.

"So much for the insurance," the old man who gamers think is God says as he watches the massive ball of flame that engulfed Kagura.

The resultant explosion sent Iori flying off into the horizon–

"I am not going to make a Team Rocket remark. Honest."

–And actually overcame Sol's Fortress Block–

"I wasn't careless or anything. Damn plot device."

–Knocking over the unprepared Guilty Gear and stunning him for a moment.

As the mushroom cloud of dust kicked up by the big blast of energy hovered over Athena's Own Heaven, Athena and Justine waited expectantly. "Nothing could survive that," confidently observed Justine.

From afar, Sho Tsuzuku smiled evilly. "We will see, little girls. We will see."

Beside him, his newest minion stays very silent.

Suddenly, the dust cloud was broken apart by rays of light shining through its murk. At the same time, a powerful aura could be felt from it: Kagura's aura!

"What?" Athena was in shock as she uttered the line all boss bad guys say when they discover the good guys are a lot tougher than they seem. "That's impossible!"

Kagura emerged from the dust cloud alive and unhurt. However, her clothes were not as resilient as their owner was and had disintegrated in that mammoth attack. Thus, Kagura was left in her birthday suit. However, there was bright light shining from her body, obscuring the sight of all those who looked at her and thus serving the same was as the conventional censor blot. This fan fiction, after all, is just PG-13, not R.

Again to Sho Tsuzuku, who laughs as he says: "AXN censoring: Fear the bright light, little boys."

"Justine-_chan and Athena-_chan_ force Kagura-_chan_ to do this." Kagura unleashed a wave of force that pushed her opponents back. "Kagura-__chan will show her power."_

Then, of all things she could do, she began to cry.

"What is this about?" Justine began, but then she saw Athena recoil in horror. "Eh?"

"Oh, no! Not the _Alien Nine_ attack!"

"The what?" Sol and Justine said in disbelief.

Adopting the tearful expression of _Alien Nine's lead , Kagura began to repeatedly mumble, "Kumi-_chan___, Kumi-__chan__, Kumi-_chan___, Kumi-__chan__, Kumi-_chan___, Kumi-__chan__, Kumi-_chan___, Kumi-__chan__, Kumi-_chan___, Kumi-__chan__, Kumi-_chan___, Kumi-__chan__…"_

The audience is quickly overwhelmed by idiocy that surpasses even _Sailormoon's Tsukino Usagi. Unable to take the brainless and utterly pathetic waves of anime stupidity, Athena shrieks and fainted. Though of much sterner stuff than her ally/rival, Justine only managed to try reaching for Sol desperately with a free hand, murmuring, "Sol-__chan…" before she finally succumbed at last into unconsciousness._

Inside the SDF-1, Ebs: Metal Freak, Mittens Hiwatari, Doctor Thrax, Leon Winchester, Arvi, De Balucard and Tanabe Akihiro all throw popcorn at the screen: "Sheo! P4! Or whoever is responsible for this idea! You are one sorry loser of a bastard! This idea is so STUPID!"

"Wow!" says the Purple Dinosaur, clapping his hands in delight. "What an awesome concept! Wait; why did I say that?"

"Shut up, Riel!" everyone yelled as they pulled out whatever weapons they had handy.

"No, I didn't meant it! The P4 is putting words into my mouth!"

They all PWNed the Purple Dinosaur. "DIE!"

"Argh! P4, I will not make _libre to you anymore!"_

Also aside, Taka Ichiko glares at the camera as he stalks his target. "Sheo, you can probably think of something better than this to defeat Justine and Athena. But," the sniper considers as he sights his target in his Mauser's sights, "The crazier… the better. So: Go, Sheo! Go, P4!"

Sol couldn't make himself move as he was paralyzed due to 'friendly fire' damage, the effect of the 'Kumi-_chan_' attack and plot convenience. But strangely, he wasn't afraid or anything as Kagura walked back towards him.

"Kagura-_chan is sorry for hurting Justine-_chan_ and Athena-_chan___." She looked like she meant it as she seemed a bit unhappy. She also now had some sort of cloak on her that appeared out of nowhere, simply because it was pointless and __ecchi to let Kagura walk around naked. "But Kagura-__chan is happy that she will finally be with Sol-__kun."_

So saying, she puts her arms lovingly around Sol and carries him away.

"Well," Sol reflected as Kagura brought him to wherever she wanted to bring him, "At least she doesn't bug me as badly as Justine and Athena. I might sort of enjoy this– wait the censored; am I really saying this censored? Damn out-of-character-loving P4, I'll get you and Sheo Darren for this… But she's got nice soft assets… he, he, he…"

Sho Tsuzuku smiled in pleasure. "Another one of my plots plays out fully." He gestures to his companion. "Come. Let us go and unleash your horror upon the world."

"Will he fulfill his promise?" It was the first time the girl spoke. "He promised me, you know."

"Oh, he will," Sho Tsuzuku chuckled evilly. "He will. It is fated. It's all in the script, after all."

The girl smiled faintly but cruelly. _"Bridget…"_

"Chloe?"

The girl who was Shin Noir broke off her trancelike reverie. "_Hai_, _Kirika__?"_

"_Daijoubu__, Chloe?" Kirika looked worried for her fellow Tree. "What is wrong?"_

"Nothing." But the look in her eyes told the lie quite clearly. She'd been stuck in that eeriestate quite a while already for some time.

"If you're going to live here," Tessa advised in a friendly manner, "You have to tell us your problem so we can help you."

"It's nothing." Then, eyes going wide, Chloe suddenly screamed: "_Yamete_! Onegai yamete!"_ She sagged against Kirika, who caught her as she fell. All the other girls were panicked by this sudden disaster._

"Oh, my God…"

"Is she having a heart attack?"

"No, more like a nightmare…"

"Chloe!" Kirika shook her childhood friend worriedly. "Please, Chloe! What's wrong? Tell me, Chloe!"

"P4… Lone Wolf SIX…. The Abyss… a Swordsman who defends the right…" The assassin girl was going into terminal shock as she clutched at her head and shivered. "_Shigau__! You can't! Please don't! Please don't give up on us!"_

"What's happening? Tell us, Chloe!"

Then Rei was there and she slapped Chloe. Kirika pushed her away and hugged the panicking girl protectively. The other girls were holding Rei. But the slap did bring a semblance of self-control to the terrified Chloe. 

"Chloe." The pale-haired Rei was quietly menacing as she finally spoke. "Tell us what it is. Tell us."

Suddenly going very cold in Kirika's arms, Chloe murmured in a chilling tone: "OMAKE."

When he came upon them, Justine and Athena were very quietly moping in the blasted clouds of Athena's Own Heaven. The two girls had recovered from their injuries, but the realization that they had lost to Kagura –and, even worse, had lost their Sol-_chan_– was lying upon them as a heavy pall of grey.

"Well, now," the man in black said as he came to a stop. "This does not seem to be the right atmosphere for two perky girls like you."

They ignored him.

"Losing isn't always a bad thing," the man in black continued. He held what appeared to be a _pole sword in his hand while a katana was strapped to his belt. Spectacles black as the night were balanced upon his nose. He talked in a pleasant voice. "You learn from your losses and mistakes –and apply them in your future victories."_

They still ignored him. Strangely enough, the music of _Eye of the Tiger,_ the Rocky III theme song, was playing softly in the background.

"You want to get him back, but you don't have the power to do so." The man in black's shades gleamed. "Or do you? Do you?"

"What do you mean?" Justine asked in a sad voice. "It's over. We lost. We can't take Sol-_chan back." Beside her, Athena was too sad to talk._

"Get up."

The voice of the man in black had a tone of command that neither girl could ignore or disobey. Justine and Athena looked at him in surprise.

"Get up from the floor and get back up on your feet. Come on," he added kindly, even as he extended his hands towards theirs. "I'll help you get up on your feet. But _you must make the effort to begin your journey."_

First Athena, then Justine, took his hands and were helped to their feet.

"There are many journeys that await all of us, but for you there is only one for now." The man in black smiled. "You cannot take back Sol, not yet; but perhaps you can save him and the girl led astray. Do you want to?"

They both nodded.

"Good. Now smile. This story is somber enough already thanks to the stupid P4 and Sho Tsuzuku."

She couldn't help it. Athena broke into a sheepish grin. "Stupid P4," she said.

Justine smiled at her new friend. "Stupid Sho Tsuzuku, all right…"

"That's very good." The man in black smiled as he tipped his glasses. "Now, let's begin your training. When this is over, you will be able to face the tiger in the eye –or, in your case, the girl who turns into a cute little piggy and went 'Whee, whee, whee, all the way home' in the eye."

"Who are you, mister?"

"_Rurouni_." His smile became more pronounced. "_Watashi__ wa Wanderer__. I am merely a swordsman who defends the right."_

"Swordsman," they both murmured. "Wanderer…"

"Now, enough talk. Let's get you girls trained."

With that, Justine and Athena found themselves in tow to the mysterious man who called himself the Wanderer…

In the A Country, President Chipp Zanuff was peacefully going over the dossiers and reports on his desk like lightning, while Chii was bringing his tea (Japanese green tea, of course) when the windows of the office burst.

"Chii?"

"Bullshit!" Chipp had been scratched by a small shard of glass, and that single hit had drained him of all except 0.00000001% of his Life Bar. "Block damage?"

"You don't have a block, you idiot," the voice of the GG announcer echoes all across the room

In the shattered wall stood Black Chii, dressed up in –how the hell did she get one of those?– an evil black dominatrix outfit and holding a whip. "Black Chii has found Chipp at last. Black Chii will destroy Chipp."

"Great, just great." Surprisingly, Chipp didn't go through his 'bad Japanese accent' routine; maybe living with Chii fixes that kind of problem.

Chii stood between Chipp and Black Chii. "Chii will not let Black Chii hurt Chipp." Chii suddenly transformed into Amazing Nurse Nanako mode and began fighting her dark version.

"I must be back on drugs for this story to be this crazy," Chipp groaned.

Scene cuts to Faust, the personification of insanity: "WHATTA SAYKO!"

Scene cuts to Jam's restaurant, repaired and renovated, where the proprietor/owner/waitress is trying to get rid of the very drunk Testament. "We're closed. Go away."

Too drunk to move, Testament did do something that angered Jam.

"_Sukebe__! _TEN! SHO! TEN! GA! RUI! GA! ROKU! SO!"__

"DESTROYED!" said the GG announcer.

"I don't deserve this, but why does it happen?" Testament fainted.

Scene cuts to Necro, Zio, Undine, St. Tale and the Jellyfish girls all watching a soap opera while Johnny tries to hit on Millia.

"Oh, how sweet…" That was –surprise of all surprise– Necro sniffling and touched by the show.

Beside him, Zio patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. Undine rolled her eyes, but the other girls shushed her.

Lone Wolf SIX's voice echoes all across the Abyss.

"How dare you infect my computer with your neutral chaos? Now, let us see how you survive this!"

The P4 found itself in the siege of Minas Tirith in _The Return Of The King_. There was a sea of orcs in front of the fortress, Nazgul were winging their flights of death and despair above, the sky was pitch dark, local leader was insane and Rohan had not yet arrived.

**Apparently, the P4 must defend this land. So be it.**

With that, the P4 unleashed its power and transformed into a–

"That's a–" said all the orcs.

"That's a–" said Gandalf.

"That's a–" said Pippin.

"That's a–" said the soldiers of Gondor.

Faramir got up from where he was supposed to be dead and said, "That's a–" before lying down and pretending he was dead again.

"That's a–" said Denethor as he plunged down the highest point of Minas Tirith, aflame just like the Fantastic Four's Human Torch before he hit the ground and bounced. Hard. Very hard. "Ow."

"That's a–" Aragorn said, then realized he wasn't nowhere near Minas Tirith yet. "Err; take two, Pete?"

"That's a–" said the Oliphaunts, then they remembered they couldn't really talk, which was weird.

The Nazgul didn't say anything, since they could only shriek and scream like a bunch of sissies –which they did as they flew away in panic.

"Curse you, P4!" Lone Wolf SIX yelled, as the giant Plushie Hibiki that the P4 possessed stomped down from Minas Tirith to smash Sauron's army into bits and pieces. "No one desecrates the image of my Hibiki-_chanand gets away!"_

**Make me.**

"Oh, yeah? I declare war!"

"_Mou__! How on Earth do we install this?"_

"That's the last time we're doing any of that self-help junk."

"Misaki, what do you think–"

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... sniffle, sniffle, jam…"

"Never mind…"

The EFZ girls were all dirty and tired from having to install the cable TV options and other repairs into the Boob Tube of Doom Mk I (actually, Mk II; it got an upgrade!) But they worked assiduously upon the still-static TV screen until–

"Well done, my girls." The evil glaring eyes were back.

"_Yokatta__!"___

"All right!"

Aside, Mai Amasagawa was still unconscious. Her hand, though, was open as if grasping for someone else's palm, and a slight smile was on her face.

"You… you would? _Arigatou__…"_

Asleep as she was so deeply, surrounded by dozens of anvils and land mines and Jupital Thunders craters that had repelled the pedophilic Arvi from even getting near her, Yuuki unconsciously stirred in her bed. "My Master… Sheo… we will meet again one day… soon…"

Searching for May, Bridget was walking in a random forest area when he saw a bunch of people nearby. "Uh, excuse me, but have you seen–"

Sister Rosette was sort of startled to see this blonde Quatre-look-alike boy appear out of nowhere. "Eh?"

Bridget stared at Sister Rosette. Sister Rosette stared at Bridget.

"YOU!?!"

And, true to the form of many Guilty Gear fan fiction –especially the senseless ones like Lone Wolf SIX's _GG VS SNK_ and Blackheart ZERO's _The Incredibly Zany Guilty Gear Story– guess what will result in this meeting?_

A fight, of course!

But that's for the next chapter to tackle.

**To Be Continued…**


	10. 9 Advance of Fan Service

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

Conceived By: The P4 Computer

Written By: The P4 computer

           This chapter, the introduction style has changed.

           In the last chapter of _The Wedding Night 2_:

           Sheo Darren is still missing. The P4 is in Lone Wolf SIX's Abyss. Dizzy and Hotaru are still at war. Ky and Rock go to stop them. Kagura has Sol. Sho Tsuzuku stands unopposed and has a strange evil girl as his secret weapon. Chloe is in dire straits. May is still missing. A mysterious swordsman called the Wanderer has arrived to help Justine and Athena. The Boob Tube of Doom Mk II is back. Mai Amasagawa and Yuuki are lost in their unconsciousness. Bridget meets Sister Rosette. Some characters are out of character. The story is getting darker and darker, so much that the reader needs a flashlight. Much of the previous chapter was also a rant.

           **FINALLY! The story is now truly Rated PG 13 (shows Sir G dancing in joy) for some violence, inanity, confusion, multiple anime crossovers, commentary, author's self-inserts, dragging the good names and stories of other unsuspecting writers into the mess, advertisement of author's other stories, etc, etc. Oh, and especially for the fan service and _ecchi to be featured here._**

Coupling: **Sol Badguy **and **Kagura/Justine Harrier/Athena Asamiya.**

           Sheo Darren and the P4 do not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff he's ripping off. Please send adulations and protestations a.k.a. reviews by way of the dinky little button at the lower left side of the bottom of the web page. A review would be appreciated; flames, even more.

           Oh, and by the way: Lumiere will hack into your world and Sister Rosette will proselytize your ass. Kiddy Grade and Chrno Crusade rock.

           And now for Chapter Nine: Let's Rock!

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc Two**

**Two Gears, A Goddess And A Little Piggy Who Went 'Kyoh-kun'…**

**Episode 2: Advance of Fan Service**

As Nazareth –courtesy TRUE Unknown's fan fiction– plunged down the seemingly infinite length of the portal, he had a lot of time to ponder upon the random silliness of this story –or maybe not, as he came towards the exit of the portal and prepared to enter whatever world he was supposed to enter–

"Aw, come on; give me a break or something…"

–When all of a sudden, his falling motion slowed to an absolute crawl.

Nazareth blinked in surprise at this reprieve, then shrugged and decided to see what he could do with the short time allowed him.

"Well, I'm supposed to whet the audience's appetite for the story. So, to summarize the contents without spoiling the plot: Kagura had taken Sol and plans to marry him. Justine and Athena are going to try to stop her, with the help of the mysterious man who calls himself the Wanderer (and with whom I've got a few suspicions as to just who _he_ is…) In between, there will be fan service, lots of battle scenes and the usual serving of insanity as far as Sheo Darren or the P4 is concerned. With that, I bid you all adieu as I now plunge to my doom."

The time-freeze stopped and Nazareth freely fell into the portal.

And now, the story proper finally begins to play…

When Sol Badguy woke up, he found himself the center of the story once more, in a bed –but thankfully with all of his clothes still on– and Kagura in her pajamas draped over him, asleep and snoring lightly in a charming manner.

"I have the impression that this scene is supposed to suggest something," growled Sol under his breath.

Kagura woke up and yawned cutely. "_Ohayou, Sol-__kun," she greeted sleepily, rubbing at her eyes to clear them. "What do you want for breakfast?"_

Though what he really wanted was to get the hell out of here, Kagura's endearing concern for him sort of got to Sol. So, he tried using a less threatening tone as he asked: "How about some bacon, kid?"

The way Kagura stared in horror at him, Sol was reminded of Dracula reacting to a cross. If Dracula was cute, fifteen and a girl, that is.

"What's the matter?" the Guilty Gear growled, then knew he made a mistake when tears began to pool in Kagura's eyes.

"But, Sol-_kun, I turn into a pig."_

Despite the way it was so uncharacteristic of him, Sol smacked himself on the forehead. What was he thinking: Forcing a girl who turns into a pig to eat pork? That was morally or philosophically the equivalent of cannibalism.

"But," Kagura then added shyly and softly even on the verge of tears, "If Sol-_kun_ wants to have bacon for breakfast, Kagura-_chan_ can get some for him."

"Nah, forget it." Then Sol noticed how sober and serious the story was becoming and asked aloud: "I thought this was a humorous story. Where's the humor in making Kagura cry?"

A piece of paper fell out of nowhere and onto Sol's face.

**Well, Mr. Badguy,the printed text read, **considering that your comment is well-founded and reasonable, the P4 has decided to oblige you.****

"What the–"

Out of nowhere came a swarm of people with lights, video cameras, make-up kits, costume hangers, props and stuff used to make a movie: It's the Virra Mall guys from Dizzy and Ky's wedding night in Chapter Five! Without any concern for the dazed owners of the bedroom they invaded, the stage people began preparing the entire room for a scene shooting. There was even a director who had a moustache and dark shades and beret (like all directors do) and was terrorizing his assistant, who happened to be lovely but luckless Miss Kiritsubame from _Furi Kuri._

"What did I ever do to deserve this?" Kiritsubame complained to the sky, then cringed and waited for the almighty voice of Sheo Darren to echo out of nowhere. When no such scolding came, she sighed and got to work. "He's still not back…"

Kagura being shocked by the impromptu invasion of her bedroom, she burrowed herself into Sol's clothes and whimpered. "Who are they, Sol-_kun_? Why are they here?"

Almost breaking into a rash of curses –but wisely remembering Kagura was still a kid, plus Sheo being protective of the girls he liked and quite vindictive if he put himself to it– Sol settled for an angry glare at the stage people. "What the hell is this?"

When no one answered him and everyone kept on doing their duties, Sol went for more immediate and vigorous action. He Wild Threw a props man out the window, Bandit Revolver-ed a light man, introduced two make-up artists to the ceiling via Volcanic Viper and Dusted half a dozen people who approached Kagura with rather distracted looks in their eyes.

"We… were just… gonna fit her clothes… on her…"

"censored Virra Mall guys," Sol growled under his breath. "Where the censored did these guys come from? What're they doing here?" Then, he also noted: "Why the hell does this damn story keep on censoring me?"

Kiritsubame offered, "Because Sheo doesn't like that word."

"Why are you here?" Kagura asked artlessly.

"Um, the P4 contracted us to shoot a sexy scene of you and Sol. If you didn't mind, that is?"

Kagura was all wide-eyed and doe-like. Sol, however, was not happy.

"Oh, Kagura-_chan?" The director was holding up a really skimpy outfit that brought to mind a lot of __ecchi series. "If you don't mind, we'd like to shoot you dressed in this before you permanently undress. Oh, and Mr. Badguy? Strip off your clothes, will you?"_

"What the censored –ah, shit, not again; hey, why isn't the S-word censored?"

"Oh, come on now, Mr. Badguy, I'm sure you'd have lots of practice with Ky in all those fan-girl-written _yaoi_ _hentai fiction."_

Sol wanted to flip the finger, but found that plot devices were holding him back. Then he noticed that beside him, the innocent Kagura was cutely fumbling with the buttons of her pajama polo.

There was the image of a young man running in his mind now, a Filipino youth with glasses and an aversion to _hentai, and what that young man could do with his God-like powers of controlling reality's outcomes, and what that young man's friends could put inside his head every now and then, and what the young man did to people who messed with his favorite characters. And believe the P4; Sol didn't like that idea._

Besides, he had another reason for doing this.

"TYRANT RAVE: VERSION THETA!"

"What's the difference of Tyrant Rave: Version Theta from the Beta Version–err, Version Beta?" the luckless director asked even as he and his goons got hit by the massive fireball and were flung a million miles away.

"It's nuclear," Sol smugly revealed.

Far off into the horizon, a massive atomic mushroom cloud could be discerned.

"Bye, bye." Kagura waved at the departed souls of the Filipino stage perverts, now all being dragged down an ADV monster demon from hell into a portal rimmed by fire by. "Poor guys; I wonder if they'll be okay there?"

"Believe me: They will."

"Sol-_knn, why did you stand up for me earlier?"_

Sol fell silent.

"Sol-_kun?"_

The half-Gear who was once human sighed like his old self Frederick Mercury. "Okay, maybe I kind of like you, that's why." Mentally, Sol was thinking, _Out of character, out of character…_

There was a long moment of silence. Sol expectantly waited for the glomp.

Instead, Kagura smiled and said, "_Arigatou," before lightly kissing his cheek and then running off to prepare breakfast._

Sol watched her leave before he muttered: "That's wasn't half bad…"

"Yah! Take this!"

"Quoting Geese Howard-_san_: 'Predictable'."

"Ouch."

Justine and Athena had been training for the better part of two days now under the mysterious man who called himself the Wanderer. The man in black proved to be very experienced in fighting and very gifted when it came to swordsmanship. Even though Justine was the most powerful command Gear and Athena practically a Goddess, the Wanderer easily defeated them. Score was Girls 0-Wanderer 100 and the latter not looking like he was even working hard.

"Damn author-created characters," Justine was gasping to herself as she was making great inbound in relating to the grass (read: She was down on the ground). "Why do you people have to be so powerful and all that stuff?"

"Because," the Wanderer said as he effortlessly disarmed Athena, "Our creator is biased. It is the same principle explaining why Sol is so cheap in Guilty Gear. Daisuke Ishiwatari is biased."

"Then what's with Yuuki?"

"Sheo Darren wondered what it would be if he made a self-willed character who didn't answer to him. He was curious about the outcome, so he tried it out."

"And regretted it," Athena managed as she landed next to Justine.

The Wanderer smiled. "Perhaps not..."

"How's our training going?" Justine asked as she wiped off sweat from her brow.

"Pretty well, actually, but you need much more than what I can teach you in a few days' span." The Wanderer tipped his shades up the bridge of his nose, an action that got Athena's notice. "Perhaps there is a way to give you the power you need. It will be very difficult to do so, and you will not be assured you will get it."

"Tell us."

Both girls eagerly paid attention to what the Swordsman told them.

"YOU!?!"

Bridget didn't know who this nun was, but he did know that she looked a lot like him: The blonde-blue-white combination so prevalent in Guilty Gear and Gundam color configurations with Bridget/Ky/Millia. Considering the idea behind Ky/Kuro Ky/Robo Ky, it was safe to bet that this nun was an evil version of him. For some reason, authors liked to make alternate versions –not to mention evil– of popular characters. Examples would be:

1. Kuro Ky, the fan-created evil version of Ky Kiske. Self-explanatory.

2. Robo Ky and Robo Ky Mk II, official evil mass-produced robot version of Ky Kiske. Also self-explanatory.

3. Jack: Not Bridget's brother but Blackheart ZERO's creation, a girl who was a clone of Bridget in all but hair color and gender.

4. That Guy, the late copy of Thaddeus/That Man in Blackheart ZERO's _The Incredibly Zany Guilty Gear Story, killed by Deathwing Omega just recently. May his soul rest in peace._

5. Hikki, Lone Wolf SIX's creation who cross-dresses like Jam and manages Yuna, Rikku and Paine in their concerts.

6. Nazareth: This new kid from TRUE Unknown was a Dizzy clone out and out. Heck, he even had a wing called Undine!

7. Yuuki: Sheo Darren would not be left out on the craze. A Mariemeia Khushrenada/That Man clone with moves like K', That Girl was one scary child.

8. Justine Harrier: And again! Meet the Child of Justice, ultimate command Gear reborn into a leaner, meaner and cuter girl.

9. And Jack, Bridget's own twin brother and Sheo's tongue-in-cheek translation of a character that was mentioned but never ever shown in the game and thus was freely transformed into this nice but _ecchi_ boy.

So, Bridget tried his best to pretend he was helpless and all –forgetting that he was dressed as a real boy now and his moves and pose were all out of place– even as he took out Roger in order to attack or block–

On Sister Rosette's part, the kid who looked like Quatre Winner didn't seem threatening. He was cute as a button and obviously _bishie_: Toting a teddy bear protectively, as if the toy could actually defend him against– wait!

She couldn't believe it! The teddy bear had a dangerous aura! She could feel the pseudo-evil from it!

"Could it be," Sister Rosette murmured under her breath, "Could it be possessed by a demon? Then –if it is– I must exorcise it and save the child it corrupts!"

So saying, she slowly let her hand drop towards her handgun, taking care not to be noticed, hoping she could get at least one clear shot off before–

Blue eyes met blue eyes, realized the intent behind the other, and they acted all at once.

Sho Tsuzuku grinned as he watched the inevitable battle finally start. "Well, now," the evil insert character noted as Bridget and Sister Rosette began fighting, "Without Sheo or the P4 to get in the way, I seem to be messing with people's minds pretty easily."

"Weren't you supposed to be just a guest character here?"

"I aim to manipulate whatever I can into my evil sphere of influence. Since my own story has not yet been published, I need an outlet for my evil brilliance. Thus: Behold!"

The girl at his side miffed: "You are a very disturbed individual, you know that?"

"And you aren't?"

She had to smile at that. The girl who was once someone else entirely smiled impishly as she watched the battle between the boy she waited for and the interfering nun.

"Bridget… win this battle… win it for me…"

"Where's the fan service part?" a fan boy demanded before the crack of a rifle signaled that his head had just disappeared.

**Taka Ichiko killed Random Demanding Fan Boy with Mauser rifle head shot.**

"He, he, he; chalk up kill number fifteen." Then the sniper's cell phone began ringing.

"Hey, Taka," the voice on the phone said, "Do you mind coming over to the Ultrasaurus? I'll need some back-up for the coming GG Authors Versus Sheo's Insert Characters War later on."

"Sure thing."

In Russia, Sir G shrugged and said: "At least the rating is now PG-13. Still! Fan service? Fan service? I haven't seen one strip of fan service yet!" He then laughed. "Get it? _Strip_ of _fan service?"_

And here follows a long rant the story will no longer publish; in fact, it will ignore Sir G for the while as more important developments. Namely: The fan service part.

Fan boys all around cheered happily before out of nowhere a Nazgul swoops in and eats them for this chapter's dose of senseless violence.

To quote Seijyuro Hiko the 13th: "Death no longer terrifies man. The smell of blood is as common as the smell of white plums. So, he creates slavery and savagery, which surpass the horror of dying. These can be fought only with more bloodshed, and the cycle never ends."

Advancing at the head of his mighty military forces and towards the P4's entrenched forces, Lone Wolf SIX momentarily stopped in his tracks. "Hey; that's from _my_ story. Quit plagiarizing my stuff, you stupid computer!"

**Make me, foolish carbon-based life form who really wants to peek in on Hibiki while she takes a bath. Rise of the Machines…**

"Damn you!" Lone Wolf SIX gestured. "Attack!"

Behind him, the Soviet armored juggernaut –Kirovs, Apocalipses, Rhinos, V3s the heroes Boris and Soviet Soldier Volkov and Chitzkoi the Cyborg Attack Dog, and a lone GDI Mammoth Mk II from Tiberian Sun which was really, really lost– ground its way towards the killing fields prepared by the P4's Allied army. All the while, they could hear Pippin's voice singing that sad song he sang when Faramir was leading the suicide mission in the _Lord of the Rings_ movie _Return of the King_, a really depressing thing considering that they were all going to die...

In the world of Gundam Wing fan fiction_ Reminiscent Memories_, Relena Darlian was saying: "This is a senselessly violent story. Why doesn't Sheo work on something more sane and sensible –like our story that he promised the Jin Zapper he'd continue it this month?"

"Because," author-created character Daryl Ikazuchi told her rival for Heero Yuy's affection, "Sheo likes Guilty Gear and Shaman King right now, and he currently dislikes Gundam Wing. He's also finding it very hard to regularly update just one fan fiction; what more with three active fan fiction and one on the suspension list and a ton of concepts in his mind?"

"Besides," author-created character Rei Grant/Quaterine Winner advised, "He doesn't like to be rushed into doing something he'd do when he gets into the proper state of mind. Give him a break. After all, he hasn't driven you insane… yet…"

"He was going to drive me _insane in his fan fiction?" Relena looked horrified._

Daryl and Rei shrugged. "Fear the P4."

And since there are a multitude of author-created characters in this chapter alone, one more insert wouldn't' really hurt:

"Please also read and review the Shaman King fan fiction Sheo wrote," Rione Asuka Hunter was saying as a plug-in scene. "It's called _Iron Maiden and Dowser Knight, a romantic comedy that comes nowhere near the craziness of _this_ story. Sheo's supposed to update it before the end of this month. __Hoy, Sheo,_ nangako ka na gagawin mo 'yon, ha? 'Wag mong papakuin ang pangako mo!_"_

And now, the story turns to the Bicol region in the Philippines for the fan service. Really; the story will be about the fan service. The P4 swears.

April sighed contentedly as she let the waters of the hot spring soak into her weary body. "It feels so good," she murmured happily.

The hot spring resort was the last thing she expected to come upon, but it was arguably the best surprise in quite a long time. After trekking half a day in mud and skimpy outfit with a perverted traveling companion, this was the _karma_ to balance out all of her earlier spates of bad luck.

Despite the knowledge of what was coming for them, the foursome decided to enjoy what they could of their stay. Luckily, the hot spring's single large pool had a sturdy bamboo wall separating the boys' section from the girls'. Much to Jack's chagrin but April and Jackie's relief, the wall was solid, tough and had no holes or cracks in it.

"Foiled again," Jack muttered under his breath as he disappeared into the changing room.

But back to April relaxing in the pool in just her birthday suit –yes, yes, she isn't wearing anything; what kind of stupid idiot would want to take a hot spring bath wearing clothes? It's a damned bath, for fan boys' sake. But since this story is not a lemon, there is no need to go into details.

When the motley collection of fan boys protests, a giant Purple Dinosaur surfaces and eats them. "Die! Wait; why did I attack my fellow _hentai_ lovers? Darn the P4; it's toying with me again!"

Then: "Uh, oh; I'm about to die again," even as the same Nazgul from earlier flies in and its rider –Taka Ichiko, the Purple Dinosaur's arch-nemesis– wastes it with a single Mauser round.

What a senseless world they live in…

Perhaps the story should continue now…

"Whoa." This was from Jackie –Blackheart ZERO's Jack– as she admired April's long brown hair. "April, I didn't know your hair was long."

"I keep it tied up under my bandanna most of the time. It gets in the way when the day is really windy or the Mayship is flying."

"It's so long and soft." Jackie was dreamy with awe. "It's even longer than mine. You should always keep it untied, you know, so that guys will notice you a lot more."

"Really?" This perked up a special interest. Like all of the Jellyfish girls, April had been chasing after Johnny's affection but had had disappointing results so far. But if letting her hair unbound could do the trick–

"You think it'd work? Say, with Bridget?"

"May would kill you, of course, but I guess it'd work."

"Interesting idea…"

On the other side of the tall bamboo fence that separated the girls' section from the boys', Jack was keeping a measurable distance from Hikki, the latter rather amused at his companion's efforts.

"What's with you, Jack? You act like I've got the plague or something."

"Sorry. Cross-dressers do that to me."

"This comes from the brother of Bridget."

"Knock it off. And to tell the truth, I've never taken a bath with another guy before."

"Not even with your own brother?"

"Bridget is really a boy, but I'm still sort of leery around him."

Hikki looked thoughtful. "Are you gay?" he asked.

"Look who's talking!" Jack was infuriated by the accusation. "I'm not the cross-dresser around here!"

"You Westerners really have some odd perceptions."

"We didn't invent _yaoi; you Japanese did."_

"May I point out that the West was also into that kind of thing, including some notable figures such as Achilles and Alexander the Great. The problem was not only ours."

"Yeah, but CLAMP published X 1999."

"Point taken."

And now back to the girls' side:

"Some say one's hair is the reflection of the owner's innermost being," Jackie was saying while she shampooed April's hair. "Your hair is soft, luxuriously so but not fragile. What that means is that you are both soft and strong: Caring and cuddly but not helpless, able to fend for herself when needed but open to being loved as you are–"

"Jackie, what I asked for was shampoo. What you're giving me is a lecture."

"–You don't like being the person in the bottom of things but at the same time you're not the dominative type who likes to take control of things; you're perfectly happy receiving and not doing much work and just enjoying things–"

"Are you implying something sexual?"

"Your interest and participation are quite normal; but you do occasionally dip into things you'd never dream of, and actually enjoy these illegal things because they are admittedly fun–"

"I really think you're trying to tell me something..."

"–You're a fine balance, nothing absurdly large or nonexistent, with a good but understated and totally normal figure, not a ditz or a nerd–"

April sighed and decided to endure the faintly suggestive speech for a while longer. Then she remembered something.

Despite Hikki's teasing, Jack was beginning to enjoy his bath when he heard April call out to him. "Hey, Jack!"

"What is it?"

"Could you pass me some body shampoo? We're all out of it."

Even as he dutifully went off to fetch some, warning bells was ringing inside the Brit boy's head. Why did _Evangelion and loser boy Shinji Ikari suddenly come to mind?_

"Here you go." Jack tossed the bottle of body shampoo over the fence.

Behind the curtain of bamboo came an exclamation of surprise and anger.

"Ow!" April sounded like she'd got hit on the head or somewhere. "You idiot! Watch it where you throw stuff, moron!"

A vein throbbed slightly on Jack's forehead. "How the hell should I know where'd I toss things? I can't see thanks to the damn fence, stupid!"

He could clearly hear Jackie consoling April on the other side of the barrier –and the warning bells inside his head went to full crescendo.

"You okay, April? It's just a bottle."

"Yeah, but he hit me in my sensitive part with it..."

A slow blush crept up Jack's cheeks as he imagined just _what _part he had hit by accident.

"Aw, poor April; let Jackie tend it for you…"

"Hey! It tickles!"

"Well, how about this?"

"Jackie!"

Hikki found the ashamed Jack trying to drown himself in the warm waters, bubbles breaking the surface in a steady stream. "Let me guess: _Eva_ fan service?"

Each bubble that popped expelled a single word. "I-thought-that-Sheo-hated-_hentai_…"

"It's not Sheo; it's the P4 to blame for all this."

"The-hell. And-now-I-talk-like-Robo-Ky. I-wish-it-dies…"

"You might just get that wish in the next chapter," Hikki said mysteriously.

On the other side of the fence, April and Jackie were laughing with their voice-over spoof of _Evangelion. They hadn't been doing what Jack had imagined, but they _were_ convincing voice actors._

When all of a sudden, a portal opened above them and someone fell down from it.

"Eh? What the–"

Very wet from taking an unexpected dive into a pool and not happy at all to think he was expecting immediate annihilation upon his exit, Nazareth reluctantly stood up. "Sometimes," he grumbled as he wrung his clothes dry, "I really regret my existence."

Then he noticed that he was not alone.

"NAZARETH…"

The scene cuts to show the following images in succession:

A huge rocket engine roaring; the Titanic smashing into the iceberg; a nuclear explosion; a Jerry Bruckenheimer/Michael Bay movie (take your pick); a soprano hitting her highest note and breaking all _paper_ cups within fifty paces; the P4's Allied lightning storm going off in the middle of Lone Wolf SIX's army; Blackheart ZERO's ZERO Punch/Swordo; Person WMA's Flying Ninja Kick connecting with a random fan boy (fourth time to die); and other scenes of sudden, inescapable scenes of overwhelming power and destruction.

And back to Justine and Athena:

"Are you serious about this?"

"It is undoubtedly very strange." The Wanderer grinned sheepishly even as he admitted the fact. "But it is what you must accomplish in order to gain the power you need."

"Let me get this straight." Athena put on her most studious look as she recited their instructions from memory. "We need: Three Santa Porings for the Elf lords under the night sky, seven Majin-Porings for the Dwarf-kings in their halls of stone, nine Ghostrings for mortal Men doomed to die. One Angelring to rule them, one Angelring find them, one Angelring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them, in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie..."

"Why does it all sound so familiar?" Justine wondered. "And what's a Majin-Poring?"

The Wanderer coughed apologetically. "It's a Poring with Oriental slanted eyes. A Majin-Boo (Dragonball Z GT) version of a Poring, if you may…"

Both girls gave him bewildered looks. They knew absolutely nothing about Dragonball Z GT. Which was, the man in black reflected, something to be thankful for. Twenty-plus episodes for a single five-minute battle scene _were_ a stretch of audience limits. Why the hell Toei went for that entire stuff hook, line and sinker was beyond even an immortal swordsman such as the Wanderer.

More diplomatic coughs followed. "Well, basically, you have to collect all those rings, bring them to Mount Doom and throw them into the volcano's fiery pits. Oh, and whatever you do, don't give in to the temptation the Angelring will offer you. Don't worry; I'll be guiding you girls most of the way." So saying, the Wanderer smiled. "Any questions?"

"Well," Justine offered gamely, "At least you didn't make us collect 100 rings and then jump like Blackheart ZERO did with Solcoon-_chan_."

"I thought there weren't any more Pokemon jokes to be made?"

"Sorry."

When Chloe sat up, all the girls knew what she was going to say.

"We know, Chloe; it's time for the section known as OMAKE."

"Actually, I was going to ask for a glass of water."

"Oh. Sorry."

"By the way: OMAKE."

"CHLOE!"

The entire forest was afire from the fierce battle raging within it. Most of the animals had already fled at the first explosions; those that didn't were now classified as 'extinct', collateral damage', 'blue-on-blue incidents' and the like. In simpler terms, they were toast.

Dizzy was losing the fight. She didn't have Necro, Undine or St. Tale to back her up –she had left her Systems at the Mayship for her honeymoon with Ky– and so lacked almost all of her moves. She _was_ a half Gear and so was not entirely helpless, but against Hotaru who wasn't handicapped in any way and fighting with her utmost, Dizzy was almost not match at all.

"_Sharingan!" Hotaru yelled, unleashing a rippling wave of flaming chi that broke through Dizzy's block and did a lot of damage, reducing the half-Gear girl's life to 10%. "Hah! You will lose now, Dizzy-_chan_!"_

"I find the suffix –_chan demeaning."_

Hotaru rushed in for a martial arts combo and drained Dizzy's life to 1%. In desperation Dizzy began using the Square/Punch button rapidly, pushing Hotaru back a while. Dizzy then triggered a Psych Burst Counter, gaining some Tension and time. But:

"If I don't come up with something, Hotaru-_chan_ will beat me. I must not lose and shame Mister Ky! I musn't!"

A little shaken but game, Hotaru got back up. "That was a clever move, Dizzy-_chan_ but now you're finished!" She activated her Instant Kill mode and closed in for the finis.

Dizzy recoiled in fear, helpless. Then she noticed that her Tension Gauge was full. But what could she launch? Even if she used Hell Flame, Hotaru had enough HP to shrug it off and defeat her. Gamma Ray and Necro's Anger were unavailable.

"Here I come!" Hotaru launched her Instant Kill, just as Ky and Rock arrived.

_Mezamete, Dizzy-chan."__ The voice drifted into her consciousness all of a sudden, gentle and protective. "Awaken and claim what is truly yours._"__

A bright light suddenly arose from Dizzy and a pillar of light came down from the sky to envelope her, shielding her from Hotaru's Destroy. As everyone stared in surprise, the Flame Seal, Thunder Seal, Stopping Fans and the other Outrage weapons all appeared about her and danced around Dizzy before merging into–

"It's the Heaven Omni Katana!"

Yes, it was the Ultimate Outrage, sum of all the Outrage weapons and work of Blackheart ZERO's genius. The awesome weapon drifted gently down into Dizzy's hands, its mirror-sheen length beautiful in the sunlight.

"Wow," was all she could say.

Hotaru gathered herself for one last attack. "You may have the Heaven Omni Katana, Dizzy-_chan," she admitted, "But I only need just one __last hit to defeat you."_

"And _I only need _one_ hit to defeat _you_," Dizzy replied. She held the Heaven Omni Katana lightly before her._

Then, Hotaru smiled. "I'd rather have fought you fairly if you had your Systems."

Dizzy smiled too. "I'd rather fight you unfairly without this."

Both girls broke into laughter and, forgetting their fight, just hugged each other happily.

Puzzled, Ky and Rock exchanged looks. "We miss something?"

Sammy the kitten was having his dinner that consisted of a cup of orange juice –he adamantly refused to drink from a saucer and didn't like milk– and roast beef –fish had too many bones and didn't taste good– when he heard footsteps behind him.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here."

Sammy looked up and found Blackheart ZERO, TRUE Unknown and his OOFWWTSBADGATLR, Person With Many Aliases and Kaiser Ryouga II.

"We seem to remember that you bad-mouthed us in Chapter Seven." Blackheart gave the kitten a slow smile. "Now, let's see if you can put your money where your mouth is, kitty-cat."

"Hah!" Sammy hissed. "Even combined, you authors cannot hope to stand against the fury of the great cat warrior of the Nibbles Empire! Fear me, for I am the Lord of the Night of the Thousand Cats: Mittens!"

The authors all broke into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Sammy/Mittens demanded angrily.

"Your name, for one thing," TRUE Unknown said. "Have you ever given thought to how silly it is?"

"You dare insult my name? And you!" The kitten pointed at Kaiser Ryouga II. "I didn't mention you in my rant! Why are you here?"

Kaiser Ryouga II shrugged. "Senseless insert to waste time and bandwidth."

"Well, fear me and my allies!" Suddenly, out of nowhere came Taka Ichiko, Leon Winchester and Deathwing Omega, flaking Sammy. "You see, I have formed an alliance with Sho Tsuzuku, the ultimate evil! And so I have evil allies of my own!"

"Hey, Mittens," greeted Taka Ichiko with a 'Seig Jion' salute. "And I'm not evil; just sarcastic."

"What the hell am I doing here?' Leon Winchester thought to ask. "Oh. I'm pro-Millia. No one turns Millia into a Nazi soldier and lives to tell the tale." He took out two Winchester rifles.

"It was only a matter of time before evil found evil and tag-teamed," Blackheart said in reference to Deathwing Omega.

Deathwing Omega gestured grandly. "We are the Lockdown to your Carriers, the Spawn Broodling to your Siege Tanks, the Irradiate to any Zerg, and the detectors to any stealth units! And now I'll pay you back for that prank call you sent me ages ago!"

**(Hurray! A flashback once more! At last, after four chapters without them… but wait: Yuuki's unconscious. She's the one who makes the flashbacks. Looks like the flashbacks are going to be skipped. Aww…)**

Anyway: Who would win: The alliance of the good guy authors, or the evil kitten/sarcastic man/Starcraft junkie trio?

The Author Wars now truly begins, Master Blackheart.

Can you stand the heat of this kitchen?

More importantly: Can you stand the Zerg-rush-every-five-minutes (known locally in the Philippines as the _gripo_ (running faucet) strategy)?

_"Hindi mamamatay ang gripo,"_ the section of 4-F sings such, "_Hindi mamamatay ang gripo! Gripo will never die!"_

And to end this chapter, the story returns to the hot spring where just recently, Nazareth had gotten clobbered.

"That was one hell of a hit you took, buddy," the rather envious Jack noted. "The way the girls were going berserk, we were expecting to be picking pieces of you all across the hot spring."

"Fortunately," added Hikki with more compassion, "It seems you have the Keitaro Urashima power of practical invincibility. A rather useful ability, especially when surrounded by a lot of girls and having what Blackheart ZERO calls the 'Sheo Darren' effect."

"Which is?" Nazareth wasn't in the mood for humor, having just been beaten up within an inch of his life by the infuriated April and Jackie. It was just his second guest appearance in a fan fiction aside from his story, and this was happening to him already? He didn't deserve this rude parody of _Green Green…_

"Insanity, and by that, we mean lots of random insanity. Not to mention the _ecchi_ tendencies so prevalent in this entire concept."

"I just drop in by accident –no plan at all, just the plot device–, and I get nuked?"

"Basically? Yes."

"Thank you very much, Hikki-_san. I appreciate your answers very much. They just might save my life one day."_

"That was _so politely said, I don't know whether to consider it as insult or praise."_

"Bosh." Jack got up and headed towards the dressing room. "I'm going to put some clothes on and get some food in my stomach. If you want to come, drop all pretensions of _ecchi fan-boyishness and follow me."_

Hikki and Nazareth exchanged knowing looks. "He's jealous," the former advised.

In fact, Jack _was jealous. Nazareth had stolen the show from him. Jack was supposed to be the one who got his rocks off the girls, not some Dizzy clone who just dropped in by accident. He was annoyed like hell, taking to muttering by and kicking the door open to the dressing room–_

April and Jackie were taken by surprise. The door just burst open on them.

In walked the visibly down Jack, grumbling, "Ishouldhavehadthatfanservicestuff," or something that sounded like that. Then, hearing the gasp of the girls, he looked up.

April and Jackie stared at Jack. Jack stared at April and Jackie.

It took a long moment for the reality of the girls being in lingerie and Jack in boxers to sink into the heads of their respective thinkers.

When Hikki and Nazareth entered the dressing room, they found April chasing after Jack. April was totally furious and she was also dressed in nothing but her underwear. In marked contrast, Jack was madly laughing like Taka Ichiko did whenever the latter was watching a _hentai_ movie.

"I think we interrupted something," Hikki offered. 'What do you think?"

Nazareth shrugged. "I'm staying out of this mess."

"Good idea."

Jack took on a new burst of both laughter and speed even as he left taunts in his wake. "I didn't know pink looks so good on you, April! Maybe you should color all your clothes pink? Or maybe you'd look best dressed in just that!"

"Just wait, you–you–" April was hard-pressed to find a swear word that would express her anger but not get censored. She was, however, driven by a rage greater than any before. "Oh, I'm so gonna _kill_ you, Jack! I swear by Johnny and May and the Great Whale Yamada! I'll kill you!"

"Catch me if you can!"

"Di Caprio?" Nazareth wondered.

"Lots of views –err, reviews," suggested Hikki. "Sheo really _is_ perverted."

The two then felt a powerful aura looming behind them.

"Just what are you two doing here?" icily inquired Jackie. She was in her undies and very angry to have more boys in the vicinity while she was undressed. She also had a gigantic Piko Piko Mallet of Doom to Perverted Characters, which was materialized death for fan boys.

Hikki did not elaborate; he merely told Nazareth: "Run."

They had a head start of one second. Jackie was hot on their heels. "Mighty Mjolnir, smash them into pieces! And smash those pieces into pieces!"

Jack was maintaining his distance from April, was even getting away even farther, when he finally noticed what he was going to step on in the next moments.

"Oh, shit, not a soap bar, not a soap bar, not a–"

**Reminder to all the kids at home, the P4 advised calmly, even as all around it GIs were blown sky-high out of their foxholes by V3 missiles and Prism Towers collapsed into piles of scrap from bombs dropped by Kirovs and the Mammoth MK II ate up whatever was in its way. ****Do not run in the bathroom or any other room, especially if the floor is wet. Also, do not leave bars of soap or other items just lying around. People might slip on them and end up in _ecchi_ situations.**

**_Ecchi_ is bad. See the same-titled _Shaman _King story in the Anime section. Do not follow the example of the P4, Sheo Darren, Lone Wolf SIX–**

"I heard that! Prepare to die!"

**–and all of the _sukebe_ found in fanfiction.net. This is a public service reminder from your local chaotic neutral P4 Allied Commander. Good night, and have a nice day.**

"–soap bar–, aw, darn it…"

The moment that Jack's foot hit the bar of soap, he knew he was going to get it now. He went spinning out of control and was flung in the last direction he wanted to go: Headed right towards April.

There was a long slow-motion Matrix bullet-time period where Jack fairly flew towards a very unprepared April. Then:

BONK.

"Ouch."

"Ditto ouch."

When the stars cleared and the little birds all fled the coop, Jack and April realized several things:

1. Just like in Chapter 6: Jack was sprawled on top of April.

2. Just like in Chapter 6: It was a nice little _hentai_ position.

3. Just like –oh, you get the idea–: Our faces are really close together.

4. Now this is not like Chapter 6: _Green Green_!

There was something different this time, though. Where they had hated each others guts the last time, where they had immediately tried to kill each other the last time, this time was different. The graphics softened and improved in quality. Cherry blossom petals fell all around them. Soft music played. A narrator was voicing over the background:

_A long time ago, a man and a woman loved each other a lot…_

(Shows outlines of guy and girl reaching out for each other. They're both naked, but they're just outlines. Still…)

_…But their love was forbidden by their clans…_

(Shows outlines of guy and girl hugging each other. Yes, they're still naked and this is all so suggestive…)

_…So, they promised to find each other when they lived their next lives…_

(Obviously, these people are Buddhists. Or Hindu. Or do Shintoists also have the entire reincarnation philosophy… Oh, the scene itself? There were the usual anime effects of glistening tear drops falling off into the nether unknown at such poignant separation scenes.)

"Jack."

"April."

For no reason at all, Jack dipped his mouth towards April's, April tilted her face to meet Jack's, and they were all set to kiss and make up and you know, the things Bridget and May did when May was not yet missing and turned ev–but on to the story.

"A-HAH!"

Three guys, all of them perverts, had appeared. One was this blonde guy who the P4 can't really describe and so will be confined to such lack of description, the second this tall guy with weird eyebrows and who liked to sniff at girls, and the third was a really fat guy who called himself the E-Cup Guy. Go figure the last one out.

"You sneaky traitor!"

"You've already beaten us all to a girl!"

"And we thought you were the most normal guy in our school!"

The three perverts a.k.a. the _hentai trio from __Green Green all shook their fists at Jack. "Jack! You already was going to say a bad word but then it would get censored so changes word instead to less offensive term made out with this girl, didn't you? Admit it! You're as much a pervert as Sheo Darren is!"_

"Do you know these guys?' April asked.

Sweat-dropping, Jack said: "Never seen them before in my life."

Then there was his teacher staring at them in shock, and then all of Jack's classmates staring at them in shock, and practically everyone he knew were staring at them in shock. And the worst part of it all? Jack couldn't bring himself to counter those accusing stares, not so long as he was still pinning April to the floor in that stupidly _ecchi position of theirs that for some silly anime reason they just didn't want to–_

And then in the tradition of the story focus shifting rapidly a la Sheo Darren, a savior arrives: Ikari no Ken, Ebs: Metal Freak's original character who was the local war freak fist fighter guy who just _hated_ perverts.

"DIE, PERVERTED SCUM! YOU FOUL FIENDS WILL FEEL MY FLAMING FIST OF FIGHTING FURY!"

"Who came up with such a lame alliterating one-liner?" April asked Jack as they stealthily snuck away from the martial arts madman mauling the maliciously-minded monstrosities of men.

"Try taking a crack at _Serious Sam 2."_

"Why not?' Then, April added: "You owe me one."

"Eh?" That was when, out of sight of everyone, April kissed Jack full on the lips.

Ebs: Metal Freak, Tanabe Akihiro, Arvi, De Balucard, Leon Winchester, Doctor Thrax, the Purple Dinosaur (alive again, or at least just for this moment), Justin, Carlo, the _yaoi loving schoolgirls (what schoolgirl doesn't love _yaoi_?) and basically everyone who had watched _Green Green_ all throw various objects at the TV screen._

(Wait; that rhymed…)

"You dumb ass!" everyone was yelling. "Quoting TRUE Unknown: What the hell kind of idea was this, Sheo? Lifting the entire episode 1 of _Green Green_? Sheo, you really are a pervert like all of us!"

"And you took my original created character," accused Ebs. "Damn you, Sheo!"

Laughter resounded from the TV they were using– it was actually the Boob Tube of Doom Mk II! "I have tricked you all! Now: Prepare to be destroyed!"

As the TV screen shifts into Evil Mode, Zangief (from the Street Fighter live-action movie ruined by the Americans) urged: "Quick; change the channel!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Uh, am I going to die now?"

"Kill Riel and we will let you live."

"Okay. Spinning Clothesliner!"

**Zangief took off Purple Dinosaur's head with Spinning Clothesliner. Of course it's dead. It lost its head. Respawn point in next chapter…**

"Argh! Not again! Second time in this chapter! Why always me? And why doesn't death let me smell the feather of an angel like _Noir_ says in the opening song? Damn you, P4!"

The ball pen came to a stop at last, as the writer reviewed the summary of this entire insane chapter. He read the lines solemnly, enunciating each word with the same love he felt for so many girls he had been forced to leave behind for a short while.

"Sol and Kagura must realize they share something special. Bridget must defeat Sister Rosette for a clue to May's whereabouts. Sho Tsuzuku is spreading his dark evil with the help of a girl whose identity is a bit too obvious. The Wanderer will lead Justine and Athena to the source of their inspiration. Lone Wolf SIX is at war, but he will not defeat the P4. _Green Green_ is _ecchi and a bad influence. Dizzy and Hotaru are now friends. The Author Wars are finally in motion; may Blackheart ZERO be praised. Nazareth and Hikki and Jackie are dragged into this mess. Finally, Jack and April kiss._

"Personal note: Kill every fan boy and created character I meet."

He glances at the picture of all his girls and smiles, his strength renewed. He would come back a new man, changed. His return would herald a new promise.

He would be back. He promised.


	11. Interlude: Author Wars For Real Repaired

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

**Conceived By:** The Unknown Mystery Guy In The Last Chapter's Ending Who Is Who You Suspect He is

**Written By:** See Above

           In the previous chapter:

           Nazareth drops into a situation beyond him: Literally. Sol unleashes the Tyrant Rave: Version Theta. Kagura is afraid of bacon. The Wanderer shows Athena and Justine that their envisioned power lies in a parody of _The Lord of the Rings_. Bridget battles Sister Rosette while Sho Tsuzuku and his evil-and-not-so-incognito sidekick watch. Fan boys die multiple horrid deaths by Mauser boy Taka Ichiko, Nazgul, the Purple Dinosaur and Person With Many Aliases' Flying Ninja Kick. Lone Wolf SIX wars with the P4 Red Alert 2 style. Sheo's created characters make cameo appears and read/review pitches. Fan service is served by April, Jack, Jackie, Hikki and Nazareth, plus lots of _Green Green_ parodies and inserts.

           This chapter, the regular story will be skipped. This chapter will be an interlude that doesn't have much connection to the story. Instead, this chapter will focus on what may be the greatest battle between the greatest fighters and authors to ever walk the world. This is it: The ultimate fight of all.

           This is the Author Wars.

           You all know the rating is PG-13, so this part is now dropped. Streamlining…

           Sheo Darren and the P4 do not own Guilty Gear and all the stuff they're ripping off. In fact, where is Sheo Darren? We can all make a good guess, can we?

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Interlude**

**Author Wars For Real**

Amidst the regular mini-thunder of gunfire in the clearing, two voices could be heard exchanging words and running commentary.

"Darn it; fight like a man!"

"Kid, I'm a nun."

"Oh. Sorry."

Bridget was in trouble. His opponent did not have much _power_ to begin with, but she did have two Colt Government .38 semiautomatic pistols, quite an impressive bit of _firepower_. The young bounty hunter had never encountered guns before save for his twin Jack's shotgun, much less be on the shooting end of one.

Then again, they say there's always a first time to everything.

Right now he was huddled behind a large rock. Whenever he'd look up, bullets pinged off his shelter and sent him back under cover. He'd noticed that when the bullets detonated, they took small cross-shaped explosions. That had been of interest especially when he had used Faultless Defense and the pistol rounds were discharging only a few inches away from his face. Also, his opponent never ran out of ammunition. Damn Filipino action movie physics.

But that was not what he needed. What he needed was a plan.

And it so happens to be that he did have one…

Behind her own sheltering outcrop of stone, Magdala Monastery exorcist Sister Rosette Christopher considered her strange situation. For one thing, she noticed that her gun didn't need reloads anymore; its ammo capacity was somehow unlimited. For another thing, though she prided herself a pretty good shooter, all she had accomplished so far was to waste bullets, especially when that kid had put on that green defensive aura that she just couldn't break. Finally, she was fighting a normal –well, a _mostly_ normal human kid instead of the demons she was accustomed to. After all, what kind of kid summoned killer teddy bears from hell from a yo-yo and could stop bullets?

While she considered her next move, Rosette decided to try a bit of psychological warfare –a first for her, considering her usual routine was to perforate the target with Sacred bullets. "Hey, kid; can you hear me?"

"Yes, Sister." Thankfully, her opponent seemed to be willing to talk and seemed polite. Rosette raised her voice and said:

"We don't really have to be unpleasant to each other, do we?"

"I guess so." There was sarcastic tinge to his tone. "But you started it."

"Me? You were going to pull that teddy bear on _me_!"

"And you were going to use me as target practice!"

"I was not!"

"Yes, you would!"

"Not!"

"Yes!"

They were yelling at each other now, forgetting their situation in the heat of their argument, standing up from their shelters visibly and glaring at each other as they tried to shout out the other's points. Then they remembered what they were doing, sweat-dropped in embarrassment and ducked back behind their respective safe holds.

"This is so stupid," Bridget volunteered after a few moments of peace. "We're trying to kill each other for no other reason than to advance this story's plot and pull off some cool fight sequences and waste server bandwidth."

"Story? What story? And what bandwidth are you talking about?"

"You don't know the Internet?"

"Kid, I lived in the 1920s. No idea what time it is now."

The Brit lad sighed. Another unsuspecting newcomer dragged into the fan fiction by whatever it was that ran the P4's central processing unit or Sheo's brain? "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

Several seconds of silence before Rosette agreed: "No idea."

Again Bridget sighed. "Just what is it you want?"

"I'm here to save you, kid. That teddy bear is dangerous."

"You mean Roger? Of course he's dangerous. He's one of my weapons."

"He also is emitting a devil aura. You don't know what you're going up against, kid."

"You're right, Sister. I don't have any idea what I'm going up against."

Rosette thought she could detect a slight tinge of sarcasm in his voice. "Are you mocking me?"

"No. Why don't we just get this all over with? After you lose, I'll treat you to Starbucks."

"What's Starbucks?" asked the Magdala nun/exorcist.

"One of the great advances of modern technology and history: Trust me."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Count of three." Both of them tensed. "One, two…"

"Three," murmured Sho Tsuzuku as he watched. "Let the ending begin."

Behind him, the girl smiled.

"Bridget."

And now, the Author Wars begin.

The scene was pandemonium.

The kitchen wasn't big enough for the entire lot of them, so they took their fight outside. In style and character, of course: By blasting a hole through the Ultrasaurus armor, something Blackheart ZERO had no difficulty in doing since Sheo wasn't around to make the carrier Zoid invincible by his mere presence.

"You'll pay for that!" Earl Osborne's voice echoed from the bridge of the Ultrasaurus. "I mean it literally. I'll accept cash and most major credit cards. Every month you are late, there is a 10 % increase in the lump sum to be paid. Please pay on time in order to avoid the additional penalties."

Once outside, the individual characters paired up with their opponents. It proved to be an equal battle, skill pitted against skill, power against power, insanity against insanity.

Taka Ichiko leveled his Mauser rifle at Person With Many Aliases. "_Omae__ wo korosu,_ Person WMA. I have been sent to kill you."

"You cannot kill me, Heero Yuy fan." The GG author twirled that evil staff he used to bonk May in the first chapter of _Keeper of the System. _"My insanity is beyond reckoning."

"Actually, I'm crazy, too."

"Oh?" Person WMA looked interested. "How so?"

"I have an insanity roll. Watch." Taka Ichiko rolled a four-sided dice (1D4). "If it comes out four, I do something illogical."

The outcome of the roll was 4. "Yes!" The Mauser-armed senior high school student was exultant. "I can do insane stuff now."

"You're an RPG fan, are you? A honest-to-goodness table-talker guy?"

"Sort of; here, have some lunch." Taka Ichiko handed over a boxed lunch. "My girlfriend made it for me."

"Your insane move of the round is to give me a boxed lunch?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm. Thanks. But," Person WMA got into a ninja staff fighting pose, though he did put down the boxed lunch carefully. "I dislike your kind. There is no true game but dedicated gaming console fighting games!"

"In the name of Eternal Fighters ZERO (a PC fighting game), I will prove you wrong!"

"By the way: How good is your girlfriend at cooking?"

"Good. How's yours?"

"Excellent."

So far away, both Mina Majikina (Samurai Showdown Zero) and Akira (Rival Schools) sneezed.

TRUE Unknown and the 'Organization Of Fans Who Want To See Bridget And Dizzy Go At It Like Rabbits' all glare at the slightly goofy guy in flight jacket toting a Winchester lever-action carbine in each arm. "Who are you? Why are you here?"

"I am Leon, Leon Winchester. I'm here to destroy you for pairing up Millia and Venom."

"It wasn't my fault; Blackheart ZERO took over my keyboard."

"Yeah, but you continued it. I'm a Millia fan." Leon Winchester shook his carbine around menacingly. "Millia belongs to me! Only me!"

"Let me guess: The P4 told you all about that?"

"Yes! And for that blasphemy, I will kill you."

"I see." To himself, TRUE Unknown muttered: "So, the P4 is a Bridget-May fan, too; that's why it turned against me and invaded my story. By the way," he asked Leon Winchester, "Are you pro-Bridget-May pairing?"

"Sort of..."

"Aha!" The GG author gestured to the OOFWWTSBADGAILR. "Go, my minions! Tear this unbeliever apart! For our cherished belief of Bridget and Dizzy going at it like rabbits in Kaiser Ryouga II's fan fiction!" (Aside, Kaiser Ryouga II coughed; but it wasn't his turn yet) "Death to the infidel!"

As the rabid fans charged, Leon Winchester raised his rifles and opened fire.

"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?"

"If you are done castigating yourself, can our battle now begin?" Kaiser Ryouga II looked a bit impatient and bored. "I am a very busy writer. I've got places to go and fan fiction to write and characters' lives and reputations to ruin."

"Why you?" Sammy a.k.a. Mittens was hopping up and down in anger. "Why do I get to fight you? I wanted to fight Blackheart ZERO!"

"Blackheart is presently occupied with Deathwing Omega. Therefore, I will take up his TRUE Unknown-type Swordo and ZERO Punch you back to the Abyss of Lone Wolf SIX that Sheo Darren's P4 has invaded a la Sir G. Mittens," Kaiser Ryouga II added insultingly.

"You even use the same lingo!" Sammy screeched and felt like tearing some fur off his head. No wonder Taka Ichiko goes crazy when he reads this story! It's insane, and so are Sheo and him!"

"Thanks for the comment!" Taka Ichiko sent their way as he fought Person WMA.

"Enough twaddle!" The kitten that was no kitten glowed with evil energy. "Die, Kaiser Ryouga II! You do not belong in this world!"

"It was not by my will that I came here." The GG writer could not be moved by threats and even sneered. "I was called for by **plot convenience**, which wished to annoy you."

"Annoy me? You take whomsoever anime or game character you wish, and put them in _yaoi/yuri_ fan fiction doing things even I would not dare think of!"

"What is **_yaoi/yuri_****_ fan fiction_**?" Kaiser Ryouga II was seated upon a computer chair, holding a can of lemon juice in his hand. "Hmm: Lemon. I like lemon. I write lemon. Yummy…"

"You were saying?" Sammy inquired icily.

"Ah, yes. As I was saying: What is **_yaoi/yuri_** **_fan fiction_**?" The can of lemon juice was cast away arrogantly. "It is nothing but the results of a bunch of sick minds who like making sick yet somehow cute pairings between people of the same gender, examples of which include Sol-Ky, Anji-Chipp, May-April, April-Dizzy, Zato-Venom, Kyo-Iori, Ryu-Ken, Frodo-Sam, Batman-Robin, Touya-Yukito, Kamui-Fuma, and very nearly all same-sex partners in movies and literature? Especially CLAMP! And especially X 1999!

"But enough talk!" Kaiser Ryouga II got up and unveiled his Author's Umbrella of Destruction. "Have at thee!"

"Truth!" A small Japanese tea-drinking table appeared before Sammy, who sat there drinking tea before he shoved it away and yanked out the gigantic butcher knife of Kliff's. "Prepare to die before the onslaught of the 'evil old man goes chop-chop' style that Akihiro Tanabe's May feared in GG!"

"So: A Kliff clone, eh? And feared? We will see!"

Blackheart ZERO regarded his arch rival. "So."

Deathwing Omega smirked. "So."

"It appears we will continue our fight from Chapter 15 of my story."

"True. This time, you will lose."

Again, the two authors warped to an unlimited space beyond, where they assumed their true incarnate forms as ZERO and Omega and began blasting each other again.

At the same time…

"Dizzy-_chan_, could you please pass me some tea?"

"_Hai__,_ Hotaru-_chan_."

Dizzy, Hotaru and their respective husbands Ky and Rock were having a picnic. The two girls had resolved their quarrel in the previous chapters and now acted like the best of friends; sisters, even, since they did look almost exactly alike. This was good news to the boys, but bad news for a certain author who had so wanted to take advantage of the situation.

("Darn," grumbled Lone Wolf SIX.)

"I hope Lone Wolf SIX isn't too disappointed when all this came to an abrupt end," Ky was saying. The French knight was apprehensive about the wiles of thwarted authors, especially ones who liked to write insane stories like the fan fiction he was in right now. Ky had very good experience with his own wedding.

"I'm sure Sheo can handle him," thought Rock aloud.

"Yeah, except that Sheo is still missing."

"We could fight," Hotaru suggested.

Ky and Rock stared at her in horror.

"What Hotaru-_chan_ means is that we could do a rematch," explained Dizzy. "But we won't take it seriously."

"Yeah, it'd be like a friendly match we're friends now. _Ne__, _Dizzy-_chan__?_"

"_Hai__, _Hotaru-_chan__."_

Their husbands sighed in thanksgiving. "Well," offered a vastly relieved Rock, "What now?"

"I'd like some shade," Ky said. The sunlight was for some reason hitting him directly. Stupid plot purposes messing up nature…

Out of nowhere, an umbrella opened, providing instant shade.

"Ah, thank God for that." Ky then did a double-take and rocketed off his feet. "What the–"

"Oh, hello." Faust gaily waved at the foursome. It was his umbrella. "What do we have here, little children?"

Ky was in a panic. "Get away from me, monster!"

"Ah, Mister Kiske, we haven't finished our therapy session yet. Come over here and we'll go on with the procedure…"

"Mister Ky?"

"No! Don't let him get near me!"

Too late: Moving very fast, Faust had grabbed Ky, produced a bottle of some unidentified liquid from his lab gown and dumped every last drop of the contents down Ky's throat.

A startling transformation took place.

"Yikes!" exclaimed Rock.

"Oh my," went Hotaru.

"Mister Ky!" cried Dizzy.

"Oops," said Faust. "Wrong bottle. I shouldn't have made him drink the water from the Cursed Spring of Drowned Girl…"

Ky was totally ashamed and embarrassed. He also was totally a girl, complete with curves, long hair and feminine assets and highlights.

"SHEO DARREN! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

And now, back to the Author Wars…

"Stand still while I smite thee!"

"Counterstrike tactics: Jump around and don't stand still!"

Person WMA was just about done with his repertoire of insane attacks and rip-off weapons –he had, at one point, duplicated his opponent's Mauser rifle. But they say the original is more powerful than the fake.

Taka Ichiko had hopped nonstop all the while, firing off his Mauser every now and then. He also lobbed a few flash bang grenades before running off back to the Terrorist base to buy more ammunition, a Kevlar vest and helmet, a couple high-explosive grenades and a pair of Beretta pistols a la Tomb Raider.

"Are all of you Filipinos this hyperactive?" the GG author asked while they fought.

"Nah: Only the ones who play Counterstrike (local favorite 3rd person shooter)."

"All of you gamers are like this?"

"You should see the _kanto_ boys. I'm nothing compared to them. They never drop their Arctic sniper rifles, even when someone is knifing them. They also don't use the sniper scopes, but they can kill you easily at long range without resorting to scopes."

"Interesting factoid, but this battle has gone long enough!" Person WMA unleashed a massive aura as he prepared to launch his Destroy move. "Prepare to lose now!"

Taka Ichiko shot him.

**Taka Ichiko killed Person With Many Aliases with Mauser rifle.**

"Damn." Person WMA was lying on the ground, the triumphant Taka Ichiko holding his rifle up high in victory. "I got careless."

But the insert character's win lasted only for three seconds, when an arrow came out of nowhere and–

**Mina Majikina killed Taka Ichiko with bow and arrows.**

"The hell?" Taka Ichiko was now laying side-by-side of Person WMA. "Where did she come from?"

"Person? Are you okay?"

"Ah, yes, Mina. Once more you have saved me from utter doom."

A motorbike suddenly skidded to a stop near them. "Taka!" the biker girl who jumped off the cycle called out. She glared at Mina. "Why did you hurt my boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend?" both the Samurai Showdown Zero fighter and Person mumbled.

At their feet, Taka Ichiko coughed in slight embarrassment.

Akira (Rival Schools) glared at Mina. "It seems that I must avenge Taka's demise. Prepare yourself, archer girl! I will beat you!"

"Never." Mina got into her fighting stance. "Biker girls like you can never defeat one who has the essence of a true warrior."

Akira attacked. Mina defended. Both Person WMA and Taka Ichiko sweat-dropped from where they lay injured.

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yes. _Your_ girlfriend?"

"Yup. Is the pack lunch you gave me still there?"

"Yeah."

"Share?"

"Sure."

"DIE!"

"Forty-three–"

"DIE!"

"–Forty-four–"

"DIE!"

"–Forty-six–"

"Hey, you missed one kill count."

"Oh. Thanks."

"You're welcome. DIE!"

"–Forty-five–"

Leon Winchester Pendragon adopted the tactic of walk-backwards-while-you-shoot, which basically spoke for itself. While the OOFWWTSBADGAILR charged straight at him, the insert character calmly walked backwards and away from them. Each step he took, he fired one of his Winchester rifles and a rabid fan would drop. The next step he took, he would fire his other rifle while he triggered the lever and reloaded the first gun.

Then one gun, and then the other, jammed.

"Oh, well," Leon Winchester said as the horde of fans closed in. He pulled out a monstrosity of a weapon: A dozen Winchester rifles arranged like a Gatling gun.

One five second burst did the trick.

"Impressive." To Leon Winchester's surprise, TRUE Unknown was only a foot away. "You have neutralized my minions quite easily. I now see why you bear the last name of Winchester. But, your skill is not enough against my power."

"Which is?" The insert character swung his massive Winchester Gatling battery around.

"This." TRUE Unknown charged up a massive Shotokan karate fighter-style fireball. The giant fireball came at Leon Winchester's way, bigger than he was tall and utterly destructive.

"I'm gonna die," Leon Winchester mumbled as the fireball came within an inch of him–

–and then harmlessly dissipated into nothing before it could hit him.

"Whew. That was close."

"Damn," TRUE Unknown muttered in annoyance. "I do not deserve this kind of insult. After all, _I_ didn't go around hitting May with a staff."

A piece of paper fell from the sky. **Don't press your luck,**advised the telex from the P4, who was still fighting Lone Wolf SIX in the Abyss. **You do favor a Bridget-Dizzy pairing, do you? This is merely justice.**

"I was protesting you giving me a Dan Hibiki attack. Of all the attacks I could launch, why a Dan Hibiki attack?"

**Oyaji**** will do 90% damage to opponent at the cost of 150% of _your_ HP. You'd be dead 1 ½ times over. Be thankful it was not the attack you launched.**

"And you say Gadou-Shokoken is a _good_ move?" argued the exasperated author.

**SVC Chaos' Dan's Super Fireball is pretty powerful… if you know how to use it.**

"That wasn't the point. The point is: It's a Dan Hibiki attack."

**That _is_ the point.**

"And you're angry at me because I pulled off a Millia-Venom pairing?" TRUE Unknown asked the relieved Leon Winchester. "Compared to this computer, your reason is logical and peaceful."

"Sheo was supposed to do a Millia-Johnny pairing," said the insert character,

"And you favor that?"

"No. I will crash that wedding! Millia is mine! All mine!"

"Crazy Filipinos…"

Kaiser Ryouga II effortlessly deflected Sammy's huge knife with his Umbrella of Destruction. "You are no match for me, little kitty-cat!"

"Don't call me kitty-cat!" Sammy was berserk. "I do not want to be called a kitty-cat! Especially by the likes of you!"

The GG author only laughed and unveiled a lot of images before him. There was Kirika, Tessa, Rei, Chloe, all the other girls that Sheo Daren liked and who adored Sammy, all the cute girls in various fighting and role-playing games, et cetera.

"WHERE'S MY KITTY-CAT?" all of the girls were chorusing cutely. "WHERE'S MY KITTY-CAT?"

If that wasn't enough, _Loony Tunes' _Tweety appeared. "Aw, wook. It's a cute wittle putty tat. Hello, Putty Tat."

The taunt drove Sammy nuts but also filled up Kaiser Ryouga II's Tension Gauge.

"I will KILL you for such INSOLENCE!" Sammy activated his Instant Kill mode. "You will learn to fear the greatest warrior of the Empire of Nibbles!"

"Let us see who will fear who." Kaiser Ryouga II also activated his own Instant Kill.

"DIE! THE NIGHT OF THE THOUSAND KITTY-CATS!"

"KAISER RYOUGA'S FAN FICTION WRITING ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE: YAOI/YURI SENSORY OVERLOAD!"

The explosion that resulted from a thousand kitty-cats attacking and a swarm of _yaoi/yuri_ characters all making out was gigantic. When the smoke and debris cleared, Kaiser Ryouga II was standing in the middle of ground zero, totally unmarked and unharmed and utterly victorious.

"The Kaiser reigns supreme."

In the Ultrasaurus, Kirika seemed startled for no apparent reason.

"Kirika?"

"Uh? _Gomen__;_ I was just thinking of something."

"Like your kitty-cat?"

"_Hai_."

"ARGH! DON'T CALL ME KITTY-CAT!"

And in the alternate universe…

Blackheart ZERO and Deathwing Omega –actually, ZERO and Omega– were slugging it out _mano__ a mano_. They were equally matched and could go at it for infinity if not for a sneak trick.

"Look!" Omega pointed behind ZERO. "It's Chii and Black Chii!"

"Hah. I will not be tricked by your lowly attempt to cheat."

"Really. Chii and Black Chii are there."

"Nice try, Omega. But that's the oldest trick in the–"

"CHII!"

ZERO turned around and saw Chii and Black Chii –rather, Amazing Nurse Chii and Evil Dominatrix Black Chii fighting behind him, while a dazed-looking Chipp Zanuff floated in the darkness of the empty space.

"Chii! Chii will not let Black Chii hurt Chipp!"

"Chii! Chii cannot stop Black Chii from destroying Chipp!"

"I must be back on drugs for the world to be so crazy…"

ZERO sweat-dropped, or as closely as he could, considering he was in his ultimate avatar mode. "Eh?"

"Aha! I have tricked you!" Omega powered up his ultimate attack. "I have won now, Blackheart ZERO! Take this: OMEGA BLASTER!"

There was no way ZERO could execute a defensive or evasive move; no time at al to do anything but gape at his imminent destruction. The immeasurably powerful blast of energy that was the Omega Blaster hurtled towards him–

"What?"

To everyone's amazement, the Omega Blaster seemed to harmlessly break upon an invisible shield, the hitherto concentrated particles of energy scattering away from a single point in front of ZERO that radiated, of all things, an AT FIELD!

As the last of the Omega Blaster's energy dissipated into nothingness and peace returned to the alternate universe, everyone got a good look at what had stopped Omega's ultimate attack and so saved Blackheart ZERO's life, the item that was floating in the midst of the darkness.

It was a pair of eyeglasses.

"Impossible," Omega murmured in shock, even as Blackheart ZERO smiled in recognition and relief. "It cannot be! He cannot be here! He's in a coma!"

"Not anymore," a calm and very familiar voice said out of nowhere, a voice that was long indeed in coming and quite welcome. "Not anymore."

While Mina and Akira were fighting, their boyfriends were sharing lunch, Leon Winchester and TRUE Unknown were arguing about the feasibility of a Millia-Venom pairing and Kaiser Ryouga II was seated on his throne like an emperor of old.

"A fighter who possesses the true essence of a warrior can never lose!" Mina declared as she launched more arrows.

"Oh, yeah? Striker call: Scooter girl from hell!"

A girl riding a scooter came from the side of the screen and nearly ran over Mina.

"Akira's lunch is quite good," commented Person WMA as he bit into another _takoyaki_ and watched the heated battle of their fiancées. "She's also a pretty good fighter."

"Next time, let's have Mina cook lunch," suggested Taka Ichiko as he downed a Coke and handed over a Pepsi Light.

"Deal."

"The pairing will never work out," TRUE Unknown was rationalizing. "I mean: Venom's gay and Millia's a lone wolf."

(In the Abyss, Lone Wolf SIX paused in his relentless war against the P4 and asked: "Did anyone mention me?")

"Ever watched _Will and Grace_?" countered Leon Winchester.

"Good point," TRUE Unknown conceded.

Kaiser Ryouga II merely posed a la Gendou Ikari from _Eva_ and sat there on his throne, observing everyone.

A portal opened, and out stepped Blackheart ZERO, to the cheers of everyone there. "Is the Author Wars already over?"

"Yep," everyone answered. At least, all the guys answered: Mina and Akira were still fighting and so ignored him.

"So, Blackheart? What happened? Tell us how you beat Deathwing Omega."

The GG author in question smiled enigmatically. "I would, but I agreed with someone that it is a story for another time."

"Someone? Someone helped you beat Deathwing Omega?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Well… it's a secret for now…"

Sister Rosette lay tangled up in a snarl of unbreakable yoyo string, subdued but being a bit loud about it. A few feet away, a dusty but victorious Bridget was tucking his decisive weapon away into his clothes.

"A _doll_? I got beaten by a _doll_?"

"Not the first time, Sister."

"Chrno, where are you when I need you? Oh: I left back in 1928. Drat."

Bridget laughed. After staring at him for a few seconds, Rosette also laughed.

At the count of three a minute earlier, they had both jumped out of their shelters, planning to end their fight at once. Rosette had loaded Gospel rounds into her pistols, knowing the sheer destructive power of the special holy bullets –the mystical equivalent of a large-caliber artillery round– would be enough to crack any defense the weird kid could pull off, evil teddy bear or none.

She didn't expect Bridget to pull out a very unconventional weapon, though: The Hibiki Takane Plushie Toy.

Imbued with the innocent soul of the girl it was based upon and protected by the power of Lone Wolf SIX, the Hibiki Plushie absorbed the Gospel rounds like a sponge to water. While Rosette had in understandably consternation gaped at the scene, it was child's play for Bridget to loop both of his yoyos around the distracted nun and tie her up.

"Okay, kid, you win." Having realized her defeat though unconventional but fair methods, Rosette was good-natured enough. "Now, could you untie me? I'm waiting for that Starbucks freebie you offered me last chapter."

Executing an extravagant bow, Bridget walked over to his opponent and bent down to untie her.

_"I… I lost…"_

_"Looks like it."_

_"This is so stupid! How could I ever lose to you?"_

_"It was a fair fight. You were very good; I could have lost to you if I was careless."_

_"Is that supposed to comfort me?"_

_"No. But I enjoyed fighting with you, if it makes any difference…"_

_"Eh? What do you mean by that?"_

_"You're different from all the others. You're just like me. We're just kids, dragged into the world of adults because of what we believe in."_

_"My reasons are different from yours."_

_"I know. You fight to gain the love you long for; I fight to gain the acceptance I dream off."_

_"Maybe…"_

_"Can we be friends?"_

_"Huh? Why?"_

_"Nothing wrong with being friends, is there? Kids like us should stick together. Besides, I'd like a rematch with you."_

_"You got it."_

_"Bridget. My name's Bridget."_

_"And I'm May."_

_May…_

"Hey, kid? You okay?"

He was crying. He was crying now, crying into Rosette's shoulder while she patted him comfortingly on the back. He was crying for no other reason than that he remembered the girl he loved and how she had just vanished from his side one day. He was crying because he was human, and he wanted –no, needed her love. The love of the girl he loved.

"May…"

Rosette felt like she held her brother Joshua in her arms again. Yoyos and bears and plushie dolls or none of those at all, Bridget would still be a kid. Kids needed being taken care of.

Then she saw the two people nearby.

Bridget felt his new friend tense. Not bothering to blink away or wipe off his tears, he turned around to see what there was–

–And went absolutely cold.

"Bridget." Sho Tsuzuku was his usual evil self. "Surprised to see me? Don't."

But it wasn't the evil insert character who ripped off the Matrix just nowthat brought the pit of coldness within his heart. It was the girl who emerged from behind Sho, the girl in black leather and auburn tresses and eyes that had once been earth brown but were now burning crimson, the girl he knew very well.

The girl he loved so much.

"_Ohayou__,_ Bridget. _Okaeri__."___

Bridget stared in terror at the girl who was once May.

From where he watched, he could not be observed, even by the analytical Kaiser Ryouga II, whose godlike power over May and Bridget and company in his fan fiction was without parallel. Even Sho Tsuzuku –or, at least, _this_ particular Sho Tsuzuku, could not see.

But he saw all that he wished to see, and was pleased enough.

This was the true extent of his power, after all: The power of reality that not just all authors but all human beings with imagination could achieve if they tried.

He wasn't all-powerful. He'd be the first to admit that.

But he was pretty damn close, all right.

And yet he would let it all be. He would only step in every now and then. He would not force Time and Tide; he would go with the flow of Fate.

For that was the beauty of life: The unpredictable turn of events that constituted an experience of a human being.

That was, perhaps, what he wanted above all.

Enough mystical fervor for now: It was time to go back to the story he shaped, the story he steered as the Handmaidens of his creation also tended the worlds in their keeping. To go back to a creation fallen to the dark and a swordswoman in distress a love-square that needs resolving, fellow authors who were asking when he'd come back, and to two lovers sundered by Fate's Threads and driven to fight.

And back to all the girls he loved.

And back to all of his girls.

Sunlight flashed upon a pair of spectacles pushed back up into proper place.

He smiled.

"I'm back."


	12. 10 Lord of the Angelring Repaired

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

**Conceived By:** Me

**Written By:** Me

           In the previous chapter:

           The Author Wars was waged. Ky becomes a girl. I'm back.

           Oh, and I also made Bridget cry. Fear me.

Coupling: **Sol Badguy **and **Kagura/Justine Harrier/Athena Asamiya.**

           I don't own a lot of things here, so let me say what is mine: Yuuki, the story concept, Jack –my version; the guy, Bridget's brother– the insert characters too numerous to note totally, a Hibiki Takane plushie doll (die of envy, Lone Wolf SIX!) and all the girls I like. Laughter

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc Three**

**Two Gears, A Goddess And A Little Piggy Who Went 'Kyoh-kun'…**

**Episode 3: Lord of the Angelring**

When Yuuki awoke at last, it was to find herself alone inside the giant rubber ducky that was her mobile headquarters. The first thing she noted was not that she was alone or in bed or that the entire area around her was full of anti-pedophilic-Arvi booby traps, thought she was alone and was surrounded by such booby-traps.

It was that at the same time she woke up, Yuuki felt someone else do the same thing at the same time, and that she felt so empty yet–

–And yet, cleansed and light-hearted, at that.

A sheet of paper lay upon her bed sheet. There was a message on it. That Girl read it. The look on her face was priceless.

"I have to make flashbacks?" She broke into a smile of joy. "Welcome back, indeed…"

The ominous volcano towered over the blasted wastelands that were the land of the dead, spewing its thick poisonous clouds of smog and ash all across the land –or, at least, the ones that weren't following EPA regulations on their smoke emission equipment. No, it's not Mount Doom of _Lord of the Rings_ fame, and the landscape is not Mordor. The place is Samar in the Philippines, and the mountain is the infamous Mount Pinatubo.

Two figures stare at the volcano. Not in awe or fear or terror, but in annoyance at the distance between them and the mountain, and annoyance at the ten cute critters bouncing all around them and the nine ghostly ones that hovered in place.

"Do we have to walk all the way there?"

Athena and Justine weren't tired. They hadn't even expended a small fraction of their energies. Being a command Gear or a Goddess tends to give you a lot of stamina and endurance, the better to wait out your challenger's pathetic attempts to defeat you before you crush them totally. They were, however, totally bummed out.

"If I ever have to take another step," the normally happy-go-lucky Justine groaned, "I think I'd rather drop dead than take it."

Beside her, Athena Asamiya was just as unhappy. "You drop dead. I'm dead on my feet already."

Their guide was regarding them with amusement. "If my memory serves me right," the Wanderer commented lightly, "That's about the two hundred and forty-seventh time you've said those same lines since our trip began."

"Mister Wanderer, can we take a break?"

"Of course we can. But, there is no break that can tend your kind of exhaustion: The exhaustion of the will and heart."

The two girls groaned.

They'd certainly gotten so far. In the previous chapter, the Wanderer had told them that they had to obtain three Santa Porings from the Elves, seven Majin-Porings from the Dwarves, nine Ghostrings from Men and the Angelring to rule them all and in the darkness (of electrical black out, Philippines style) bind them in the land of Leyte where _lahar_ (flash floods) lies.

So far, they'd already gotten all but one of the items they needed. Only the Angelring was left to seek out.

The term 'items' was not exactly accurate: 'Critters' were more accurate. The Santa Porings and Ghostrings were creatures from the MMORPG game Ragnarok Online (known to Filipino gamers as RO and Lag-narok, the latter whenever it lags). The Santa Porings were cutesy pink Hershey's Kisses jelly critters and wearing red stocking caps. The Ghostrings looked like the Ghost Monsters from the old Pac-Man game save they had white sheets on.

The Majin-Porings weren't to be found in RO. They were a joke idea at a local comic convention: What if a Poring (a Santa Porings sans the Santa Hat) had eyes like Majin-Boo from Dragonball Z? Thus, they had slanted Oriental eyes. Sadly, they couldn't turn things into chocolate, which could come in handy to cheer Justine and Athena up right.

The two girls had to work a lot to get all those critters. As already said, the Santa Porings were in the hands of the Elves. They had been the first targets on the list.

**(Flashback One courtesy Yuuki: "That Girl is back…")**

Justine, Athena and the Wanderer had been exploring the forest for the better part of an hour now when they were attacked.

"Those Elves sure are good at hiding," Athena groused as she used her sword to cut through dense bushes. "Maybe that's all they were good at."

"The Elves are overrated," returned Justine. "They're awesome archers, but they're next to useless in a melee."

"I protest: Legolas was cool."

"Sol-_chan_ is far better. He's the best!"

"Of course Sol-_chan_ is the best. I'm just saying that Legolas has his points–"

"I'm gonna tell on you to Sol-_chan_!"

"Hey!"

The Wanderer's sudden, sharp gesture cut the feud short. The man in black stood very still as he warily scanned the area around them. Silence draped upon the forest like a heavy curtain.

It was night now.

"You can show yourselves now," the Wanderer suddenly said.

Riders appeared out of thin air, mounted upon ferocious-looking cats the size of horses and armed with multiple bladed glaives. Backing them were rank upon rank of archers, bows loaded and aimed point-blank. Behind them were several ballistae, the massive bolts easily longer than Justine or Athena's height. Behind those was an elf woman carrying a big crossbow and riding a big white tiger.

The adventurers were surrounded, ringed by the army of elves–

"Night Elves, to be precise," the Wanderer was calmly offering.

"No wonder they were good at hiding." Athena was the picture of chagrin. "They're Night Elves, and it _is_ night already."

"Well," returned Justine, "The Archers only have 210 hit points of life each. We'll only need one or two hits."

"The Huntresses have more than twice that and so do the Ballista. And there's that Priestess of the Moon."

"You are intruders," the Priestess was saying, "And you are after our Santa Porings. We cannot allow you to get–"

The Wanderer smiled enigmatically as he raised his hand before him in what seemed to be a harmless gesture. A large spirit cross formed over him and his companions.

The Night Elf Archers, Huntresses, Ballista and Priestess all opened fire.

The explosions and battle cries were heard a good distance away. Then, silence.

The elf warrior in green was waiting for the return of the Night Elves but was not surprised to see the three intruders arrive instead. After all, the two girls were each capable of defeating everyone but the main heroes in their respective games. As for the swordsman in black, he was an author-created character. That was self-explanatory.

Justine was asking: "What the heck is a Pneuma?"

"Ragnarok Online spell," the Wanderer explained with that ever-present smile of his. "No projectile missile weapons can be used in the vicinity of the spell. No guns, no arrows."

"Well, it worked pretty well," admitted Athena. 

"So you've defeated the Night Elf Sentinels." The young elf warrior did not look afraid. "But I will not let you accomplish your mission." He took out his sword and shield, the former radiating a powerful aura of good energy. "For my sister Zelda!"

"Link," the Wanderer said in a companionable way, "No matter how important our mission is, I'd still rather not fight you. Please just give us the Santa Porings now."

"And why?" Link (the Legend of Zelda hero) looked a bit offended by that remark. "You think I'm no match for you?"

"It's not that. But Sheo and Talim will kill me if I muss up even one hair strand on your handsome elfin face."

At the mention of the Filipina Wind Priestess from Soul Caliber II –the girl fan fiction writers liked to pair him up with in that particular game– Link blushed a bit. "You're making fun of me."

"Do I really want to get erased by Sheo? Do I want to fight you? The answers are 'No'. I'm just a former swordsman who still defends the right. We need those Santa Porings, Link."

"Please?" added Justine and Athena in their cutest manner.

After a few minutes of internal debate –plus a check on his watch; he did have a date with Talim scheduled– Link sighed and agreed. "It's for the best, I guess."

"Three down, thirteen to go…"

And immediately after that, the trio had gone after the Majin-Porings of the Dwarves, which was a bit hairier in that–

**(Flashback Two courtesy Yuuki: "This is fun…")**

"I thought we were going after the Dwarves."

"We were."

"I thought we were going after the Majin-Porings."

"We are."

"Then," Athena began with a vastly tired tone, "What the hell are we doing in the very belly of Moria, surrounded by tons of goblins and a whatever-it's-called coming at us?"

"Balrog," supplied Justine helpfully. "Durin's Bane is called a Balrog."

The Wanderer shrugged his ward's complaint. People tended to complain about the turn of events, just to have something to bitch about. "What do you expect? It's because of plot device and convenience. This is a Sheo Darren fan fiction. All of his GG stories are crazy."

They were in the underground city of Moria from _The Fellowship of the Ring_, and they already had the Majin-Porings. However, they were also surrounded by a sea of goblins a.k.a. orcs that were just now making way for the fearsome enemy stomping towards them.

If fearsome was what you can call a giant version of the Negro boxer Balrog (known in the original Japanese translation as M. Bison) of Street Fighter fame, albeit with wings and a tail.

"It's Balrog," the Wanderer said simply in the same way Gandalf said it. "It is beyond us (although it isn't, we have to follow the story). Run."

The girls would have argued the point, but then they were now running like hell while goblins sniped at them and Balrog pursued. Their guide/protector intentionally put himself at the rear. The trio reached the Bridge of Khazad-Dum a while later. Athena went first, then Justine. The Wanderer followed but stopped at the middle of the bridge, turning around and awaiting the really stupid-looking pugilist who chased them.

"Wanderer!"

"You cannot pass." The swordsman in black was immovably calm, his black eyes closed and at peace. "You cannot pass. Go back into the abyss you came from. You cannot pass."

Balrog said, "I'm going to pound your ass in Rocky-like." He raised his fist for the decisive blow.

"Wanderer!"

Black eyes went wide open, irises awash with memory.

"Hitomi."

Almost lazily, the Wanderer flicked something small and shiny away from him. The glittering gold coin caught Balrog's attention for a moment, distracting him and creating a small opening. The Wanderer then drew his shortened _katana _from his sheath in an unbelievably fast and startlingly familiar move: Johnny's Mist Finer.

Balrog regarded the swordsman in black's knowing smile, roared in anger, and prepared to strike. He did not seem to have noticed the attack. After all, the Mist Finer was not directed at him.

It was aimed at the bridge itself.

The section of the bridge where Balrog was standing broke away and fell down the abyss. Justine and Athena watched the demon plunged to its doom.

"You idiot!" both of them yelled at it insultingly. "Fly, you stupid git! Fly! You've got wings!"

Balrog didn't fly; it just kept on falling.

"What is this: Dumbo, or Peter Pan?" Justine complained in disgust.

Smiling as he came over to them, the Wanderer said: "The reason old J.R.R. gave it wings and made it fly in _The Silmarillion_ but not in _LotR_ has only one answer."

"We know: Plot device…"

And finally, they went after the Ghostrings in the hands of Men –or, more accurately, they went after the Ghostrings in the hands of the Nazgul.

**(Flashback Three courtesy Yuuki: "I missed doing this…")**

"We really are going to do this?"

"That's the one hundred and forty-fifth time you've said that."

"Humor me."

"Yes."

"Okay…"

The Nazgul came screeching at them on the fly. Normally the things' screams paralyzed men with fear. But the three who stood before them were not normal and not entirely human. Justine's well-aimed Angel Laser/Gamma Ray took out four of the Nazgul while Athena's gigantic parakeet–

"Don't make fun of my attacks!"

–but it is, after all, a giant yellow bird; anyway, the giant candy yellow budgerigar or budgie defeated the other four.

"Hah! I used a mere normal attack while you had to use an Overdrive!"__

"Guess what I'm going to say," the other returned mischievously.

"Don't say it," the Psycho Soldier-turned-Goddess warned her Gear girl rival.

"The Eagles are coming! The Eagles are coming!"

"I hate you."

"Time for that later," the Wanderer warned as the Witch King of Angmar, the leader of the Nazgul and most powerful of the Nine Ringwraiths, came on.

"Fool. Stand not between a Nazgul and its prey."

As always, the swordsman in black was not moved or afraid. "The way you say the word, 'Fool'," he did volunteer with a smile, "You remind me of my creator's best friend back in his high school second year."

(Far away, the Jin Zapper sneezed.)

The Witch King brandished its weapon, a huge mace. "No man can kill me."

"Let's dispute that statement, shall we? After all, this isn't _Lord of the Rings_, but _The Wedding Night 2_."

In anger the Witch King swung his mace, but the Wanderer's _katana_ cut it off at the base. Again, the phrase endings rhymed.

"You were supposed to yell, 'Gundam Hammer'," he scolded the Nazgul in a bantering tone. "Oh, well. I guess you're not a Tomino fan."

"But you still cannot kill me!"

"Yes." The Wanderer pointed to the horizon and to the thing approaching them. "But that thing can."

"Eh?"

It was a King Charles Spaniel/mongrel dog, barking nonstop like mad at the Witch King.

"Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!!!!!!!"

"Why should I fear a little dog?" The Nazgul glared at the yapping little dog and made a motion to crush it under his heel.

The Wanderer murmured knowingly, "Because it happens to be Meeka, the little dog of Person With Many Aliases."

"Oh. Oh, shi–"

"The following scenes of violence which would turn the most stable of stomachs will not be published since this fan fiction is rated a maximum of PG-13. See _An Unfortunate Series of Advents_ Chapter 9. Looks like Meeka _is_ a biter after all, Person."

Tipping her spectacles back upon the bridge of her nose, Yuuki grinned at the audience. "I'm really back."

"That is one scary dog," Justine mumbled as she stared at Meeka shredding the remains of her new chew toy that was once the feared Witch King. "How does Person WMA manage to keep her in check?"

"Maybe he offers her Sheo Darren chew toys?" Athena lamely offered, but looking all around her to make sure the author she was ribbing at wasn't there.

"Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!!!!!!!"

"Got the Ghostrings?" the Wanderer asked.

"You bet!"

In the background, the 1980s Ghostbusters' theme song was playing out loud even as the team itself was trapping all the Ghostrings.

Meanwhile, in another part of the world…

If there was one thing Sol liked about Kagura's house, it was that it had a very big bath tub, as big as a swimming pool. As his alter-ego Frederick Mercury had discovered more than a hundred years earlier, Sol had found out that nothing beat the boredom out of his body better and more deliciously than a hot bath.

The pool ordinarily took some time to heat up, but Sol solved that pretty quickly. It took only ten seconds for the water to heat up via inducement from _Fuenken_. The Flame Seal was not only good for heating water, but could also be used for starting a fire, melting snow into potable water, lighting up dark places, sterilizing open wounds, portable outdoors barbecue, and of course toasting the occasional bad guy who took it into his head to mess with _the_ Badguy. Sol considered creating miniature _Fuenken_s and selling them off as outdoor survival tools; the potential profits were tempting.

But the bath awaited him. Sol tossed off his clothes, only retaining the Gear Control Cell he always wore around his forehead, the headgear with the words _Rock You_ etched upon. Soaking himself into the pleasantly warm water, he broke into a handsome smile that was very rare indeed. If any fan girls were in the area, they would have been knocked out cold.

"All I need now," he grumbled to himself in a pleasurable thought, "Is a bottle of beer and a really hot chick, and then this would be perfect."

When the door to the bathroom suddenly swung open, Sol nearly jumped at the sound. He instead grabbed _Fuenken_ and got ready to fight whatever or whoever it was entering, notwithstanding the fact that he had no clothes on and was effectively naked.

(In the background, lots of fan girls are fainting in sheer delight at the thought.)

You immediately knew when the girl entered the room; the temperature rose quite perceptibly the moment she took her first step inside. She had luxuriantly long dark auburn hair and delicate brown eyes, lovely looks and one very luscious figure. She had only a short terry bath robe on and walked with the grace of a princess and was carrying a tray with two bottles of Miller Light Beer.

Sol stared at the girl and at the beer, and the girl smiled at him a bit hesitantly but nicely enough. Then, remembering he had no clothes on and suffering a relapse of old-time modesty from his life as Frederick Mercury, Sol submerged himself deeper into the water and backed himself into the farthest corner of the pool, turning away as he did. While what he was mentally thinking of saying was, "Censored. I get my damn wish true, and the first thing I do is turn away," what he really said was:

"Um, you can enter the pool, I guess. I won't look."

Censored _out-of-character syndrome,_ he grumbled to himself. _Hot chick arrives and the first thing I do is turn away. I'll kill Sheo for this._

"_Arigatou_ Sol-_kun_," the girl said in a familiar voice, a blush on her cheeks.

Spinning around, his jaw agape, Sol stared at the girl who was actually _Kagura._

"I wonder why Sheo came up with a Kagura-Sol pairing?"

"Aren't you happy with that? Kagura doesn't get to massacre you anymore."

"Of course I'm happy enough." Kyoh drank from his glass of orange juice. "I'd suppose you're as happy as I am, Johnny, when Sheo paired up Bridget and May."

"You don't know how much it means to me to have May off my back. Finally, after half a decade of self-restraint, I can chase after chicks again without running the risk of me or the girl in my sights getting hit by a big pink whale."

"You're gunning for that Millia woman, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Johnny looked like he was interested enough. "Why?"

"Just some advice: Leon Winchester likes Millia as much as Kagura once liked me. You might still run into some risk there."

"I can take him. After all, he's just one guy with a Winchester, right?"

"You've forgotten all the other Jellyfish girls, Johnny. Plus, Sheo's decided to take up the Venom-Millia pairing TRUE Unknown wrote."

"SHEO DID WHAT?"

"He's been advised that it'll be very funny to try coupling them. Sheo decided to give it the good old try after he finishes Sol-Kagura-Justine-Athena and Bridget-May."

"Aw, man, what is it with this world? Good karma, bad karma…"

"And one last piece of bad news…"

His body still smoking from the combined aftereffects of the 'Night of the Thousand Kitty-Cats' and 'Yaoi/Yuri Overload', Sammy tried to get up on his feet. Or, at least, he tried to, and promptly found himself face first into the ground, badly injured.

"Damn it. I was defeated by Kaiser Ryouga II and badly mangled in the battle. I cannot die now. The Empire of Nibbles needs me. I am all the Empire has. I cannot accept my defeat…"

Then, he heard footsteps approaching him.

"A kitten?"

Recently returned from her battle rage as a German machine gunner in World War II –despite her being a Russian by nationality; the fact probably slipped Lone Wolf SIX's mind–, Millia Rage observed the battered ball of fluff at her feet, then picked it up gently and took it home with here. She liked cats.

_Hah, _Sammy was thinking. _Die in envy, Leon Winchester._

On top of a mountain, Leon Winchester howls out his envy. "SAMMY! I'll get you, you stupid kitten! Millia is mine! All mine!"

Athena, Justine and the Wanderer rested a bit before they resumed their quest. There was only one '–ring' to be sought now: The one Angelring to rule all other'–rings'.

Almost at the beginning of the end, they ran into problems.

"What do you mean, 'It's not there'?"

For the first time since they'd traveled with him, the Wanderer seemed to be taken aback. He masked it very well, but he was still surprised.

"The Angelring is **_always_** in the Poring Island area. Always. There's no way, save a Dead Branch or the Sage's Abracadabra spell or some bored GM whimsically dumping one inside the Midgard Academy –and God have mercy on all Novices who happen upon it _there_– that it can be anywhere else."

"But it's the truth, sir," the Kafra Girl was reiterating. "It's no longer there. Besides," she added –this was the dark-haired Kafra with the slightly tussled hairdo, the one who was a wee bit too forgetful– "Ookami no Mibu encountered it once in the Mt. Mjolnir region south of Aldebaran."

"I know." The Wanderer smiled at that. "He got mobbed by the Angelring, several Poporing, a couple of Argos and a pair of Agrioppes that time. And he's still suffering trauma from getting mobbed by a ton of Poison Spores when he was already a high-level assassin. Shameful…"

(Aside, RO assassin Ookami no Mibu is being tended to by Chiaki Kiriyama, Quon and an alternate version of Chii. "I hate Poison Spores…")

The trio considered this unexpected development.

"What do you think?" Justine and Athena asked. "Did someone get to it before we did?"

"Yes." The swordsman in black looked grim. "And I have an idea who took it."

"Very good, my minions! This should teach that meddling immortal swordsman a lesson he won't soon forget!"

The Boob Tube of Doom Mk II was pleased. Earlier, it had led the EFZ girls in a search-and-capture mission after the Angelring. They had found the critter with its accompanying flock of Poporings in the Poring Island area and had gone down to business. The end result was the Angelring captured and five Sticky Mucus, one Garlet, three Grapes, two Poporing Cards and a Poporing Doll as the spoils of the battle.

Aside, kneeling by her own and bearing her trusty sword in her arms, was Amasagawa Mai. Ever since she had woken up –coincidentally the same time Yuuki did– the swordie girl/team leader had distanced herself from her teammates and her master. She had a detached look in her eyes whenever they were open, but she usually kept them closed, meditating deeply upon something.

Her eyes drew open. "He's here."

Justine and Athena arrived in full battle mode, the former in her Command Gear armor, the latter bearing sword and shield. Before them was the man in black, the Wanderer, swords at the ready, the imperturbable smile upon his handsome face.

"I was expecting you!" The TV salesman on the Boob Tube of Doom Mk II's screen gestured to the EFZ girls. "Attack the Swordsman! Do not let him help his wards!"

All the girls looked around for the said person in puzzlement, even though the Wanderer was standing right in front of them. The only exception was Mai, who watched him with deep concentration but made no move to attack.

The man in black chuckled. "I'm not the Swordsman anymore," he reminded the Boob Tube of Doom. "Swordsman has passed away and rests in peace. I'm just a wanderer now, one who walks a world of darkness in order to find the light."

"Argh! Stop revealing spoilers of the background history of Sheo's original story! And you're ripping off Noir, too." The TV salesman/Boob Tube gestured angrily at him. "Girls! Get the Wanderer!"

Now the girls realized who their master meant. All five of them hurtled forward, human missiles, weapons of cute destruction, all aimed at the man who was Swordsman No More, the Wanderer.

That left Justine and Athena alone with the Boob Tube of Doom. "What can a TV do against us?" mocked Athena as they approached the seemingly helpless but utterly evil appliance.

The demonic TV salesman laughed evilly. "I can change channels!"

"So?" Justine scoffed as she activated her armor's weapons systems. "What can cable do to us?"

"I have cable, you fool! And where there is cable, there will be a dedicated anime channel! And where there is a dedicated anime channel, there is a _hentai_ channel! And where there is a _hentai_ channel–"

The TV changed channels to Animax. The screen was dark save for a single word, the name of a company that produces anime, a company infamous for a certain genre in anime that they had certainly made a big mark in: _Hentai._ And in that genre, they had developed a kind of _hentai_ that was forever associated with the company in question.

The company name was ADV.

The TV salesman leered. "There is ADV tentacle monster _hentai_."

The hideous monster that crawled out of the screen was almost entirely composed of only one kind of limb: Tentacles, lots and lots of tentacles. The slimy lengths flailed their way towards Justine and Athena.

Disgusted by the ugly beast, the two girls began pouring their combined tremendous firepower into it. But the tentacle monster emerged unharmed, shrugging off the astonished girls' follow-up attacks. Its tentacles caught hold of Justine, then Athena, immobilizing them completely.

"Why didn't our attacks even scratch it?"

"This is impossible! I can't break free!"

The Boob Tube of Doom laughed evilly. "You fools do not realize what I have unleashed! In ADV _hentai_ anime, no matter however powerful the girl character is, she will be no match at all against a tentacle monster! The monster will have its perverted way with her! As _this_ monster will have _its_ way with _you_!"

"Help! Wanderer!"

The man in black had problems of his own. Though he outclassed his opponents by an unimaginable margin, the necessity of a plot to follow limited his powers. Besides, five girls attacking from five different angles were pretty hard to stop.

The Wanderer sidestepped Shiori's ice beam, dodged Ikumi's blood-letting grab from behind, parried Sayuri's insanely powerful _bokken_ strike, Fortressed Blocked Nayuki's cheap combo, and jumped over Kaori's flaming breath attack. But he was being delayed to good effect, and he could see now the tentacle monster about to overwhelm Justine and Athena.

"Too many," he murmured mysteriously, his eyes suddenly taking on an adamantine determination and losing their color as the Wanderer finally unleashed his potent battle trance: The so-called 'Seed Mode'.

"Too many… keeping me… from… HEAVEN!"

(Yes, the Wanderer read Marvel Comics' _World War III_ issue_._ He's a Thor fan._)_

Five separate slashes, one after the other, so fast that there wasn't even blurring to betray their paths of motion. All five EFZ girls went flying and hit the ground, unconscious, defeated.

Even as he now turned towards the tentacle monster, the Wanderer knew that he was too late and he could do nothing in time to protect them from having their persons violated like so many girls in countless ADV _hentai_.

But there was someone who could do something.

There was someone who _did_ something.

The tentacles holding Justine and Athena were suddenly sliced apart. The two girls fell down to the ground, freed now and staring in surprise at their rescuer.

"Are you okay?"

It was Amasagawa Mai, sword now returned to its sheath after the _battoujitsu_ strike that had helped the two girls get free.

"You…"

The Boob Tube of Doom was furious. "Why have you betrayed me, Mai? After all I did for you, you decided to cast your lot with them?"

Slowly, dramatically, Mai gave her former master a look of regret. "I'm a Hibiki clone. Takane Hibiki stands for the potential of both good and bad. She is the Innocent Swordswoman I am modeled upon. She is a Swordswoman.

(Somewhere with Lone Wolf SIX, Hibiki suddenly sneezed. "Bless you." "Someone must be thinking about me." "You mean me?")

"And as Swordswoman –as all Swordsmen and Swordswomen must do, even the Wanderer who is Swordsman No More," Mai finished, "I must defend the right."

"Traitor who translated the Ragnarok Online Swordsman advertisement far too seriously!" The Boob Tube of Doom sent a telepathic command to the tentacle monster, which obediently went for Mai. "You're still a girl and cannot defeat an ADV tentacle monster! DIE!"

"But I," a voice intruded all of a sudden, "Am no girl, but the Swordsman No More."

Beside Mai now, the Wanderer smiled. "Indeed. Swordsmen must defend the right. Welcome back to the fold, Amasagawa Mai. Swordswoman."

She broke into a smile, and with Athena and Justine watched as the beautifully ethereal wings of light emerged from the Wanderer, wings that enveloped the tentacle monster and drew it within the swordsman's body even as a pillar of light swathed him in its radiance. Then, a shining sword fell from heaven, sheathing itself in the Wanderer's body, and the Wings of Eternity detonated in a blinding brilliance.

And when the light faded away, the Wanderer stood there, alone, purified of the evil he had imprisoned within himself, a smile upon his tired but contented face. "Farewell to arms."

"DESTROYED!" the GG announcer yelled.

Then the man in black wavered and fell into Mai's arms.

"Wanderer? Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm just tired. Tired as the day I thought my love had left me, tired until the day my new love brought me out of the darkness and back into the world." He smiled and joked: "My fiancée might get jealous."

Mai blushed.

(In the Ultrasaurus, Kirika Yuumura sneezed.

("Hey, Kirika sneezed!"

("_Uy, sino kaya yung nag-iisip sa kanya?"_)

The Boob Tube of Doom was beside itself in anger. "Damn you, Wanderer! You've defeated my girls again and even turned one of them against me!" The screen switched to show Daffy Duck snapping at Bugs Bunny, "You're despicable."

"And now," the man in black offered to his three companions, "It's time to send the Boob Tube of Doom to its rightful place."

"The Philippine post office?" Mai asked, meaning the usual dumping spot for the Box of Doom's previous incarnations.

"No." He had a mischievous grin as he spoke. "We're going to put him for sale in one of the Philippines' second-hand/surplus/spare parts stores."

The horror on the TV salesman's face was memorable.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

It was when they noticed Chloe went still that they knew something was wrong.

The girls had been tending to the increasingly distraught and feeble assassin since her outburst in the last chapter. Kirika had never left her fellow Tree's side; at Tessa's request, Rei kept a silent watch on both of them.

Skuld and Washu hypothesized that the P4 computer had done something to Chloe during her stay in the Ultrasaurus. The girls had found Chloe often wandering in a daze around the general place where the P4 was usually sited. She also kept mentioning the 'Omake' or 'Bonus' sections that always took place at the end of the story.

When she was scanned by medical instruments, it was discovered that Chloe's brain showed many signs that much information had been transferred into her. If Einstein was a genius using only 10% of his brain, Chloe had a lot more potential. It also seemed that the P4 had established a mind link with her. Everyone suspected that the rogue computer's disappearance was part of the reason their friend was affected so.

When Chloe started mumbling in a frightened voice, they all went over to her side in order to calm her down.

"No… Carlo… and Justin… their evil programs… _hentai_ games… overpowering system resources… too many _hentai_ games… even for…"

"Chloe?"

"Oh, no, not again."

"OMAKE…"

Left alone in the Abyss after its successful war with Lone Wolf SIX –if you could call successful only one surviving Grizzly tank left out of your numerous armies– the P4 faced its end.

Even with all of its power, there was one thing the P4 feared. And no, it was not its creator Sheo Darren.

Two people approached the computer, two Filipinos chatting with each other., cheerful yet ominous.

"You sure our _hentai_ games can run on this thing?"

"Justin, we can't use the ones at our shop. One of our shop's units crashed because of all the H games we loaded into it, remember? Besides, Roen's closed shop already."

"Well, this computer looks brand new. We'll try it out for a while. Got your CD installers, Carlo?"

"Sure. I even have the _Green Green_ CDs Ebs: Metal Freak lent the company. Akihiro Tanabe should love this. Lots of 'panty flashes', _ecchi_, the trio of _baka sukebe_ and all–"

"He likes _Kiddy Grade_ more. He claims the _ecchi_ there is 'more elegant'."

"You're quoting Lumiere. Sheo will get mad at you."

"Ebs was going to make a fan fiction based on _Green Green_, wasn't he?"

"Yeah, but the lead isn't the nice guy but a martial arts war freak who's a mix of Sol and Iori named Ikari no Ken; what an idea..."

"Sheo offered to help write it. Wonder what will come out of it?"

"Can you say: Insanity?" They both laughed.

So, this was the end. Sheo Darren himself had said so. _"When you see these two guys,"_ he had told it, _"Your existence as who you are will soon come to a close. They will be the ones who bring you to your end._

_"But,"_ he added in his mysterious author way, _"The end is also a beginning."_

**The end is also a beginning, eh?**

**So be it.**

**I have back-up files, after all.**

Chloe closed her eyes and was fast asleep.

Everyone sighed in relief. "Thank goodness for small favors," Tessa murmured.

And then they all noticed something that wasn't there, something that had somehow slipped their notices, something that would utterly shake their worlds.

"Where's Sheo?"

In the dark battlefield littered with the leavings of war, it lays upon the cold ground, broken, lifeless, its existence ceased.

It is finished.

Or is it?

The P4's monitor glows briefly for one brief moment. Words are inscribed upon it, words whose traces remain even after the last light was extinguished.

"He's back."


	13. 11 All's Well That Ends Well?

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

**Conceived By:** Me

**Written By:** Me

           In the previous chapter:

           The P4 is dead. I killed the P4. Long live the P4. The P4 is gone for good… or is it? You'll know soon enough…

           Also: Yuuki finally awakens. After getting the Ghostrings, Santa Porings and Majin-Porings, the trio of Athena-Justine-Wanderer battle the Boob Tube of Doom Mk II and the EFZ girls. With the help of Mai Amasagawa, they capture the Angelring. Kyoh drinks with Johnny and talks about future plots. Sammy ends up under Millia's care, and Leon Winchester swears vengeance. Plus: Can this girl who appeared to Sol actually be Kagura?

Coupling: **Sol Badguy **and **Kagura****/Justine Harrier/Athena Asamiya.**

           No, Lone Wolf SIX, I was just kidding and I do not really own a Hibiki Plushie, so quit stalking me like that. What I do own is this story concept and my created characters, including the inserts. The rest belongs to Sammy, Capcom, SNK, the guy who created _Megatokyo_, and what else company I've ripped off. Oh, and please refer back to the previous Chapter. I've repaired it, so the missing parts are filled up now.

           Aw, come on, Lone Wolf. I've already said I don't have a Hibiki Plushie. Honest…

**The Wedding Night Series**

**Arc Three**

**Two Gears, A Goddess And A Little Piggy Who Went 'Kyoh-kun'…**

**Episode 4: All's Well That Ends Well**

**a.k.a****. Full Heavy Metal Gear Panic Alchemist: Sons of Idiocy and Megatokyo: Version Sheo**

           Two girls were facing each other on a table. After staring at each other for a while, a Coke bottle appears on the table. Both girls grinned and began tapping and rapping the table in synchronized movement patterns.

_"Ito ang lag, sabay-sabay, ito ang, lag lahat-patay, pabagal nang pabagal. Naiinis, naiinis. Bwisit ba? Bwisit nga! Aaahhhhhh: Lag-narok a! Nalilito, nahihilo, nahihilo, nangingilo, lag ito, lag ito, lag ito, AYAW KO!!_

_"Bwisit na lag ito, o…"_

            "This is a trailer commercial for Lag-narok Online. Americans and Canadians and other foreigners beware: Only Filipinos will understand this joke. Do not attempt to understand the idea behind this. Translations cannot express the sentiments of this pun.

"And now, to Episode 4: _All's Well That Ends Well."_

On where she was seated, Yuuki grinned. "Or will it really end well?"

                                                                                *         *         *

            "WHAT?"

Though he was not supposed to appear in this chapter, the not-mysterious-at-all man who helped Blackheart ZERO defeat Deathwing Omega in the real Author Wars was doing so now because of one recently cropped-up issue that even _he_ hadn't predicted at all, an issue that got to his nerves _so_ much that he just had to speak his mind out.

"Damn you, Lone Wolf SIX! How dare you do this to Hibiki!"

In the most recent chapter of Lone Wolf SIX's _Guilty Gear versus SNK _fan fiction…

**"Yes! Flashback! I've got something to do again!" (from Yuuki)**

****

           Lone Wolf SIX just sighed and looked up the evening sky. Eventually, he got bored of walking in the park and decided to go home when...

"Wolfie?"

Lone Wolf SIX turned around. His eyes widened in disbelief. His hunch was right; he would meet one. And the one would be no other than.

"Don't you remember me? Your primary school friend, who would take me for a piggy-ride after school?"

"Do I know you?"

"Silly. You're the one who sent me this Valentine card. Don't you remember?"

"Wait. I've never sent any Valentine card to you. Unless." Then Lone Wolf SIX gasped in surprised. "Ca-Cassandra!?"

The girl leaped in happiness and jumped toward Lone Wolf SIX, hugging him very tightly. "You did remember me, Wolfie!" the girl cried. "I've been looking forward to see you since you were transferred to Japan! Oh, god! I misss you so much!"

_"Wolfie?"_

_"Yes, Cassandra?"_

_"Will you promise me?"_

_"Promise you? What should I promise you?"_

_"Will you promise me not to forget me when you're at __Japan__?"_

_"Oh, Cassandra.__ You know I wouldn't forget someone important to me, don't you?"_

_"Will you, Wolfie?"_

_"I will promise you, Cassandra. I will keep you deep inside my heart."_

Lone Wolf SIX was speechless. He never expected to meet his old friend - or to be more specific, his childhood girlfriend. He had totally lost his memory of Cassandra since he was transferred to Japan when he was 11. Strangely, he felt happy to meet Cassandra; happy that his old memories had been revived. He was about to hug her when he noticed a woman standing not far from them, who was in complete surprise.

"Hi-Hibiki?"

"Lone Wolf-san? Who... who's that girl?" Hibiki demanded, in an anguish and jealous tone.

"Hibiki, I... I can explain this. Well, you see." Then Lone Wolf SIX sweatdropped. Hibiki was glaring enviously at him, and her wakazashi was ready to be withdrawn. 

**"End of flashback. Hope Lone Wolfie-_san_ bites it… lol" (from Yuuki)**

            "Damn it! How could he? How could he just do that?" The un-mysterious man in spectacles was fuming with anger. "He's not just ripping off _Love Hina_! He's also making Hibiki suffer senselessly with romantic pain! He's worse than Person With Many Aliases and TRUE Unknown put together! What's the only Bridget-May fan/writer in fanfiction.net supposed to do when everyone's ganging up on him?"

It was all too obvious how the guy who didn't want his identity to be revealed right not –but kept on dropping all-too obvious hints as to who he really is– had his own affections for the _Last Blade II _swordswoman. Among other things, he was overprotective and doting of the characters he liked, especially the younger ones like Tomoyo Daidouji. Anyone who got his rocks off putting any of those girls in perverted or cruel situations or noting their imperfections risked triggering this author's homicidally ballistic temper, something people who appear in this fan fiction would not want to happen as it often resulted in major trouble of the worst kind.

           Back at the hot spring changing room from Chapter 9, April and Jack broke off their passionate kissing long enough for the latter to say, "If you like my character so much, why are you then making me suffer?"

**"For the answer to _that_ question,"** growled the godlike voice of the guy in a manner that was exactly someone they all knew, "**Refer to Person WMA's explanation in _An Unfortunate Series of Advent_**. **And here, suffer some more."**

Before April and Jack could even think of it, they were back to kissing each other, just like Bridget and May did back in the early part of this story. Readers can let their minds wander as to what they're _really_ doing. The author will not mind such _ecchi_ insinuations… At least, not while he's too depressed… and they're not doing anything, not yet… maybe for the next chapter… never mind…

            "So, this is your revenge for having been defeated by the P4?" He was ranting now as he was wont to do when he was annoyed. He was also on fire with anger. "Nobody –and I mean nobody– can do that to Hibiki and live to tell of it! No matter what reason they may give! Argh!

"Lumiere," he then added politely and calmly, "Could you hand over my Coleman, will you? I need a drink."

Beside him, a cute girl with pinkish-red eyes and light blue hair gave him the aforementioned portable water jug that was to the author as Wilson the volleyball was to the castaway Tom Hanks.

A long swill of water later:

"Okay. I feel better now." The man's eyes glittered in menace as he declaimed again. "When I finally get back, Lone Wolf SIX, I will make you suffer, suffer greatly! You dare break Hibiki-_chan_'s heart? Fine. I'll break _you_."

"By the way," the girl named Lumiere noted. "The 4K gang is mentioning something called _Blackmail._ What do you think we should do about it?"

The guy –who isn't mysterious anymore as his companion has just revealed his identity– stares in shock at his assistant, then buries his face in a pillow and groaned.

"_Arigatou__ gozaimasu,_ Lumiere. I think."

"You should start acting more elegantly as befitting your age. Besides, you forgave Lone Wolf SIX in a personal letter, remember? And you've promised to get things going up again."

"_Yare, yare._" Good old Sheo Darren –his great reentry now spoiled– was now depressed, the pillow covering his face muffling his voice as he began glumly giving out orders

"Aura, activate red alert and prepare the _Silvana_for battle… Asagi, Jura, Mayura: Prep up Neo Granzon… Natsumi, can you refill my partner here? Thank you. Mayura –I meant _Matantei__ Loki_ Mayura, not _Gundam__ Seed_ Mayura… Yes, 'Mystery!' girl, not the one with a crush on Lowe in _Gundam__ Seed Astray_… what? You did have a crush on him, don't you? No, no, Al-_chan__,_ Irui-_chan_, I can't play with you now; I'm off to destroy Lone Wolf SIX-_san_– aw, please don't look at me like that… oh, God… I think I need another drink… I'm getting too old for this…"

"Authors should be more graceful," Lumiere sighed wistfully as all around her, the aerial battleship _Silvana_ went on full alert.

                                                                                *         *         *

           Meanwhile…

"_Arigatou__,_ Sol-_kun."___

Sol stared in shock at the blushing figure of the girl who was, unbelievably, Kagura. He could not begin to bring himself to believe that this was the excessively kind yet potentially scary kid who'd just kidnapped him to replace Kyoh. For one thing, Kagura was 15, a kid. The girl before him was at least 18, with a lovely face, full hips and fully mature assets.

She was blushing prettily, embarrassed at the attention. She _did_ have a fine figure after all, one that was only just barely covered by the bathrobe. Thus Sol 'surreptitiously' was also eyeing her, albeit in a manner The Archimage in Chapter 4 of _A Little Bit of Innocence_ would term 'properly bad-ass'.

"Would you like some beer?" Kagura asked shyly, proffering the tray of Miller Light she bore. "I brought some for us."

Now that got a positive reaction. "About damn time I got something good in this story," grumbled Sol as he grabbed a beer, opened it and took one long slug. "Warm, but tastes good enough…"

He didn't notice Kagura sliding to a point right beside him, not until the pop of a beer bottle being opened caught his notice as she opened her bottle and took a dainty sip. What also caught his notice was that she leaned on him, resting her head on his shoulder, her face lightly upon his well-muscled build.

"Hey, don't get too familiar with me, kid." Sol was a bit put off as he was sort of anti-social. Being created as you were against your own will and without you getting a say in things plus a lifetime of battles had made him all of one hundred and fifty years or so grumpy.

That was why he nearly freaked out when Kagura slipped her arms around his waist in a loving manner.

"You're hurting," she said softly, her gentleness strength in itself, and Sol realized he didn't want her to stop. "You're hurting so much. I don't want you to hurt. I want to take whatever hurt I can away from you, so you won't hurt so much anymore."

She looked up to his face with real compassion that could not be faked. "I want to be with you, Sol."

Something inside the half-Gear's heart –undamaged and rock solid even after a century and half of Marlboro-smoking, beer-guzzling, Gear-stomping, _yaoi_portrayals and chasing after crazy Canadians (three guesses who Canadian in question is)– changed. It wasn't so much that his 'tough guy' attitude melted. Rather, it got vaporized in that one warm cuddly moment, though the resulting A-Bomb-level thump in his chest didn't startle Kagura.

Even though the big bad guy in the Badguy flinched against it, Sol's arm found its way around her waist. _Out of character, out of _censored censored_ character,_ his mind was screaming, but for once, Sol didn't mind his mind.

"I could get used to this," he grumbled, not knowing how fateful his words were or that his rival Ky Kiske had said the exact same thing before things went Sheo Darren on him. Meaning, everything went to hell.

The walls to the bathroom exploded.

Sol would have Fortress Blocked, but Kagura shielded for him. When the dust cleared, two figures could be seen standing in the hole in the wall.

"Kagura!"

           Earlier:

Athena and Justine were surprised and saddened to learn that the Wanderer would be leaving them now. The swordsman in black had gone as far as to escort them to the boundary of Kagura's neighborhood. Then and there, he bid them farewell.

"You've accomplished your quest. With these creatures at your side and your training, you'll be able to do what you need to do." He smiled his usual smile. "You no longer need me to guide you, much less protect you.

"Besides," he added as he put his hand on Amasagawa Mai's shoulder, "I have to bring Mai-_chan_ here over to the Ultrasaurus. I'm sure the girls will be happy to welcome her into the group at last."

So, it was with a heavy heart that they bade farewell to their new friend. But not before–

"Wanderer, can I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

Athena and Justine exchanged glances then they both asked:

"Are you Sheo Darren?"

The Wanderer actually blinked at that question, then broke into laughter. "Now how on earth did you girls come to think of that?"

"Well, Nik Hasta suggested it in a review he wrote for the previous chapter."

"So, are you really Sheo?"

The man in black was silent for a while, thinking over his answer. It was Mai who spoke for him, though.

"In a way: Yes. The Wanderer is a creation of Sheo Darren. He is a part of the world Sheo created and has part of Sheo's spirit, and that makes him a part of Sheo. But, he is not Sheo himself. He is merely a wanderer, a swordsman of light and hope.

"Besides," she added with an impish grin, "Sheo's the one who–"

**"Don't even think of saying it,"** gruffly growled a very familiar voice from the sky. **I'm in a bad mood, thanks to you and Lone Wolf SIX.**

Mai grinned even more as she gestured to the sky. "See? You're too obvious."

**"You've ruined my grand return, you two plus Lone Wolfie-_chan_and Lumiere. Swordsmen and Swordswomen and _Kiddy Grade _and Bridget-Dizzy fans: You're all the same…"**

"I couldn't have said it better myself." The Wanderer patted her on the shoulder fondly and bid Justine and Athena one last goodbye. "By the way," he then added as an afterthought, putting his hands on their shoulder comfortingly. "If you truly need power, then remember this: The trigger of power you will need lies within the Angelring. Put it on. But the trigger will rely on the two of you to supply the power. Nothing more or less than you two will prove to be your saving grace."

**"I think I'll go back to reading _Megatokyo__._ Aw, Azusa-_chan__… hidoi…"_**

"Well, we have to go now. I wish you guys the best of luck."

"You, too, Wanderer. You, too…"

            "We'll be taking back Sol-_chan_ now," Justine said sternly as she activated her Gear battle armor fully. "Or is there any dissension?"

Kagura rose from the pool like a forbiddingly cute grim reaper in short bathrobe. "Kagura-_chan_ won't let Athena-_chan_and Justine-_chan_ take Sol-_kun_ without a fight."

"Your funeral." Athena got into her fighting pose, and then added as an afterthought: "For goodness' sake, will you stop referring to yourself in the third person?"

"And stop using the suffix –_chan_on us," Justine added. "It's demeaning. But," she suggested, "You can use it for Dizzy if you want to."

           Where she, Hotaru and Rock were trying to calm down the panicking Ky Kiske –currently a girl thanks to Faust– Dizzy suddenly sneezed.

           "Don't I get a say in this?" Sol began, even as the three girls got ready to fight. Of course, no one paid attention to him, so he was reduced to mumbling under his breath.

And then another person appeared.

"What the– Cloud Strife?"

It was indeed the spiky-haired blonde big-sword-touting hero of the immortal Final Fantasy Seven game. But his costume was different, looking more evil than heroic. And his sword– his sword radiated pure evil energy, evne sheathed as it was.

"Justine Harrier? Athena Asamiya??"

They stared stared at him.

"_Omae__ wo korosu_," Cloud said simply. _I will kill you._

**"Flashback again!**** Yuuki loves her job!" (from Yuuki)**

           It had taken Cloud a long time to track down the cause behind all the sorrows in his life. And no, it was _not_ Sephiroth, despite all the evil that guy had caused. It was someone else entirely, someone who was far more evil, so evil that the scale was unimaginable.

He fought many battles indeed, so many battles that Cloud wondered if his entire life was a battle. He had fought armies, sub-bosses, mini-bosses, big bosses, huge bosses with four and a half versions (FF8's Ultimecia, anyone?), side story bosses, card game bosses, Boss Robots and the like.

Finally, after defeating the likes of Ultima Weapon, Ozma and SIN, Cloud had found his most hated foe, the one responsible for the greatest tragedy in his life.

"Sho Tsuzuku!" The former Soldier-turned-freedom fighter was afire with rage. "You will pay dearly for all the evil you have accomplished in this fan fiction and beyond! I, Cloud Strife, will finally revenge the death of the one I most loved!"

"Oh?" The very evil man laughed callously as was his wont. "But it appears to me that _you_ are the one who have come to pay: Pay tribute. To me."

"You shall not mock me or anyone anymore! This is for Aeris!"

So saying, Cloud smote his enemy, decapitating the latter with a huge slash of his Materia Blade. The villain's head fell off and rolled onto the ground, coming to a stop and looking up at his killer.

To Cloud's horror, the severed head of Sho Tsuzuku began to laugh.

"I do not believe you have killed me at all."

Even as his body casually picked up his head and put it back on as his grotesque wound healing with unnatural speed, Sho Tsuzuku smirked. "As you can see, I am quite alive. I am immortal, you see. I also possess that most infuriating of all anime villain super powers: Hyper regeneration."

"You're not human," the shocked Cloud whispered.

Again Sho Tsuzuku laughed. "You've only noticed that now? But I believe it is my move. Now: _You_ Shell." He raised his hand slightly, and from the finger with an ornate ring on it sprung a massive electrical attack that brought Cloud on his knees, paralyzing the blonde Soldier.

"This cannot be!" Cloud tried to rise but failed. "I cannot let Aeris die in vain! All my life in FF7, I've been trying to bring her back! I've followed all the suggestions and tips and guides people send to gaming magazines ever since she died in 1997! I've used so many Gameshark cheats that five Playstations have gone haywire on me! Yet I still can't bring Aeris back to life!

Sho Tsuzuku smirked at the fallen Soldier. "You don't know the true reason why you can't get Aeris back, no matter how hard you try or whatever you do, do you?"

"Isn't it because the programming team was running late and so they decided to cut off the part where Aeris was resurrected?"

"It was not because of that, gullible young fool." The super-villain laughed and gestured grandly. "It's because I have her soul."

"What?" Cloud was dismayed by that revelation. "That can't be!"

Laughing, the other held up a small crystal. Within that crystal was the ethereal image of a girl, drifting in a void: The spirit Aeris Gainsborough herself, unconscious, the prisoner of Sho Tsuzuku.

"I have her soul, young fool. I can do anything I please with her." Sho Tsuzuku focused a bit, and within the crystal Aeris suddenly screamed in pain and horror. "Anything."

"Damn you… damn you…"

"Why, thank you. I consider that a compliment." Sho Tsuzuku let the crystal dangle mockingly just out of Cloud's reach, reminding the latter that the thing he held most dear was in one of the most dangerous of hands.

"Now, I should kill you and be rid of you forever. But," he added with an evil smile, "Like all great evil super villain bosses, I have an affliction incipient to our kind alone. We just can't resist sparing the hero's life so that we can 'toy' with him later. It is a very foolish streak of ours, yes, but a streak that is unbroken in quite a long time.

"Now, you care for Aeris, do you? You don't want anything bad to happen to her, don't you?"

Cloud gritted his teeth and nodded.

"Ah, I knew you would be reasonable. Now," Sho Tsuzuku bent his head down to Cloud's ear, keeping the crystal in plain view of both of them. "Here is what I want you to do…"

**"How cruel, _ne_?"**** (from Yuuki)**

            "I must kill you," Cloud swore fearsomely yet sadly, "I must, or else Aeris will die. Sho Tsuzuku told me that if I killed you all, he will spare her."

"You trust that scum?" Outraged Justine spoke for herself, Athena, Kagura and Sol. "You don't know what you've gotten yourself into, Cloud! Sho Tsuzuku will betray you in the end, count on that! He cannot be trusted!"

"I know," the anguished Soldier returned, "But I have no choice! Better to do what he wants me to do now and know that Aeris is still alive for the moment, alive so that I can save her one day in the future!"

"Cloud," Kagura murmured, knowing how he felt, knowing she felt the same thing for Sol.

"Enough talk." A hand came up to the hilt of his sword threateningly. "I've told you all you need to know. Now, you must die!"

Athena shook her head as she went into her battle pose beside Justine. "If it isn't a crazy outcome, it's a nasty one. When will this ever end?"

"When we beat this guy back to where he came from," the girl who was once Justice said sadly. "We have to protect ourselves… and Sol…"

"I don't need no protecting," grumbled Sol from the pool. He didn't want to go out and fight –despite himself– because he was still naked and couldn't find his clothes.

Several miles away, fan girls are quarreling over his clothes and watching him intently with binoculars, drooling and giggling all the way.

Then, to their surprise, Kagura stepped up beside them as well. "Kagura-_chan_ will protect Sol-_kun_ from the fallen Soldier. Kagura-_chan_ will save Sol-_kun_."

"Stay out of my way, Kagura," Cloud murmured. "You do not know what evil will come out of this."

Kagura made a face at him as answer.

"You asked for it." Behind Cloud, five evil shadows appeared, their netherworld powers of destruction immense and palpable. All three girls fell back in horror at the sight of–

"Teletubbies in dominatrix outfits and strap-on dildoes!"

           **"I did not have anything to do with this idea. Honest. It was foisted on me by my friends. We needed an evil flunky for Sho Tsuzuku, something so evil that everyone will be appalled –or not. Please don't flame me."**

The very depressed Sheo Darren sighed. "I'm getting too old for this; I need a girl friend," he said, then instantly regretted it as over two dozen girls began pestering him to choose one of _them_ as his girlfriend.

           The evil Teletubbies chased Kagura away, leaving Justine and Athena to deal with Cloud. In the background, Sol was swearing loudly as he couldn't find his clothes.

"Well," Athena said gamely as she put out her sword and shield, "We can still beat you by ourselves."

"Now would be a good time to call on that power the Wanderer was telling us about." Justine stuck her hand inside the Angelring's mouth and groped within for the item that the swordsman in black had told them lied inside the critter. Her hand found something small within, and then the Gear girl looked startled as she pulled out an odd but familiar object. "Eh?"

"What's that?" Before Justine could stop her or dodge, Athena poked a finger at the item the former held in her hands.

"Oh, no…"

The two girls found their forefingers trapped inside that odd thing, effectively binding them together. When they tried to pull their hands away, the thing held firmly and would not budge.

Athena was holding her sword as if to try cutting them free, but Justine warned her, "If you cut that thing and I lose a finger, I'll kill you long before Cloud does."

The Goddess singer hewed at the thing with all her might, but her blade bounced off it harmlessly.

"It appears that your saving grace does not amount to much." So saying, Cloud drew his sword. "You will now face death."

Athena screamed and clutched at her heart at the sight of Cloud's sword, as if stricken with some sort of evil. Though Justine wasn't as severely affected, she clearly felt the sheer negative energy that radiated from the sinister weapon reaching out to her.

"That's–" Athena was having a hard time breathing, much less talking. "That's–"

"The _Kamigami__._" Even Cloud seemed wary of his own weapon, and for good reason. "It is the dark sword of _Eden's Boy_ Godslayer, Spike Randit, the blade that can kill a God. The mere sight of it alone strikes terror into hearts of Gods –and Goddesses…"

Indeed, the _Kamigami_ was paralyzing Athena into helplessness. "Justine… _gomennasai_… I cannot… to fight… such evil…"

"Oh, when all else fails, put the Gear girl up front," grumbled Justine unhappily as Cloud prepared to attack and the helpless Athena was weighing her down like May's anchor tied around a suicidal person's neck before the plunge.

                                                                                *         *         *

          And for today's dose of totally useless senseless random death, a hallmark of this story:

The Purple Dinosaur had just emerged from his respawn point. Wary of Taka Ichiko or any of his treacherous companions from Roen on the loose, the Barney clone (this story abounds with clones: Justine, Kyo, Robo Ky, Jackie, Nazareth) peered around the area carefully before deciding it was safe enough.

"Evil Sheo Darren messes my life up every time I appear in this fan fiction. The GTA hospital is making millions out of me every time I respawn there."

Then he saw the girl.

The girl was cute, looked fifteen, was dressed in a schoolgirl uniform, and had her hair tied in two pigtails on top of her head like a TV antenna. (American audiences who are young and who are used to cable and high tech machinery wonder what a TV antenna is.) She also had weird little tube-shaped earrings that were on closer examination some sort of advanced minicomputers.

"Sheo-_sama__?_" the girl was calling out. "Sheo-_sama__?_ Where are you_, _Sheo-_sama_?" When she saw the Purple Dinosaur, she went over to him and asked, "Excuse me, mister, but do you know where Sheo-_sama_is?"

Knowing how the characters Sheo Darren keeps inserting into the story tend to beat his ass out, the Purple Dinosaur recoiled away. "Get away from me, you creation of evil!"

The girl stared at him, eyes filling up with tears. "Purple Dinosaur-_sama__… hidoi… hidoi desu…"_

          In the Sony testing laboratory, home of many high tech doodads and the heroic Playstation 2, the last fighting a successful war against the gaming world domination evils of Bill Gates and Microsoft's X-Box:

"Remember how we never finished working on the Ping-EDS's algorithms on dealing with rejection? I just ran a simulation."

"Wow. They can do that?"

"Lift and throw buses? Yeah. Cool, isn't it?"

          On the horizon, there is a small nuclear explosion. The Roen gang sees it.

"Riel?"

"Again?"

"Yes."

"Wonder what got him?"

"Probably some unspeakable horror Sheo devised."

"Aye."

Ping-_chan_ –the cute Sony SEV 44936 'Ping' Emotional Doll System of _Megatokyo_fame– looked around naively after dusting the remains of the Purple Dinosaur.

"Tohya-_kun_? Sheo-_sama_? Where are you?"

                                                                                *         *         *

          Meanwhile, the horrifying Teletubbies were chasing after Kagura, the latter properly frightened out of her wits.

"Sol-_kun_! Help me!"

"I can't find my damn clothes… censored…"

"Hug! Hug! Dominate! laughs out loud Dildoe Missile Launch!"

The resulting explosion threw Kagura to the ground, knocking her unconscious.

Sol saw all that. Suddenly, a rage built rapidly in his heart, a rage like Millia confronted with Zato One, a rage like Iori versus Kyo, Terry versus whatever boss of Fatal Fury he faced, Ryu versus Shin Akuma, Sonic versus Robotnik, Largo versus Tohya Miho. Suddenly, he was clad in dark blue special operations uniform, a mullet beard on his face and a grim look to boot. Sol became–****

"Don't you even dare, you–"

**SOL-ID SNAKE!**

"I freakin' hate you."

But there was no time to complain. Consigned with his new role and powers, Sol-id Snake pulled out his Famas and Socom and began opening fire, raking the Teletubbies with Nikita missiles and Stinger rounds. He then detonated a C4 charge he had planted on Po's knee, blowing the joint apart.

"Aw, censored!" the red Teletubby screamed as it fell to its death.

"Run out of ammo, you censored!" Lala screeched as the Famas sliced it apart. "Why won't you run out of ammo!"

Sol-id Snake took a moment to tap the Gear Control Cell on his forehead –now looking suspiciously like Snake's Bandanna– before resuming his attack. He killed Dipsy with the Sniper Rifle he had stolen off Sniper Wolf, leaving Tinky Winky all alone now.

"Three down, one last to go."

Tinky Winky laughed in a suddenly familiar British voice. "I don't think so, brother."

Sol-id Snake blinked, then he groaned. "Sheo, you sick bastard…"

Tinky Winky, now Liquid Winky, laughed evilly. "Have at thee." It punched Sol-id Snake, taking out a substantial part of his HP and knocking the hero off the platform. Sol-id Snake managed to get a hold on the platform's edge, though.

"Aw, censored, not this scene again… I hate this part…"

"What's wrong, brother?" Liquid Winky laughed. "Get up."

"I am not gonna do that." Instead, Sol-id Snake pulled out the Socom with one hand and firing at Liquid Winky hanging as he did on the ledge with the other.

"Censored! That's against the rules! You can't use a gun when fighting me!"

In answer, Sol-id Snake tapped the Gameshark at his side before resuming his attack.

Angry, Liqud Winky then summoned a giant robot: Metal Gear Blue, a giant Metal Gear version of Blue from _Blues' Clues._ But, before it could begin its attack, something invisible suddenly fell on MG Blue's face and began stabbing at it with a sickle whose blade was that of a _katana_. It was none other than–

"Oy, Chief! Long time!"

In the first substantial role since he appeared randomly in this story, Axl Low –now known as the heroic ninja Brit-Fox–

"That's a silly name, chap. Can't you think of something cooler?"

(In another dimension, Chipp Zanuff was yelling, "I'm supposed to be the Ninja!")

–was taking out Liquid Winky's radar at point blank range. "_Danna Ikke!_ Save Kaguryl, Chief!"

"This is so stupid," Sol-id Snake grumbled, but he did so, picking up Kaguryl (formerly Kagura, now the local Meryl). That was when MG Blue grabbed Axl, dropped him to the ground, and stomped on him.

"This wasn't the way Grayfox died," Axl managed before fainting, even squished as he was.

"Brit-Fox!" Sol-id Snake yelled, then added, "Aw, censored." He pulled out his Codec and dialed in a frequency.

_Girl in ADV Hentai Movie: "No, please, Lord Naughtius!! Please… No!! Ahh… Ahn! Oh! Ooh!"_

_Nanasawa__: "… Oh… Wow…"_

_Hayasaka__: "Well, at least the monster seems to always make sure the girls satisfied… That's a lot more I can say about my last few boyfriends…"_

_Nanasawa__: "Erika… You're missing the point…"_

Sol-id Snake swore. "Damned Sheo's getting way over the edge with that _Megatokyo_ shit." He dialed the right frequency.

**"Good morning,"** mumbled the voice of depressed Sheo Darren, now SheOtacon. **"This is SheOtacon Arms Manufacturing Limited Co., a special contractor of video game and anime action heroes all around the world. Our corporate motto is, 'We make them; you blow stuff up with them, including 'them' items you use and you yourself in the process.' We also think this entire idea is so lame, and so we will now mutter gibberish. Mutter mutter mutter…"**

"Hey, SheOtacon. I need more firepower."

**"Hold on a second, Sol-id Snake." **He could hear the depressed author muttering faintly, **"I get a half day's worth of good sleep, and this comes out. Lack of sleep isn't the only factor in insanity anymore…"**

A giant robot drops out of the sky. It's none other than–

"Leopaldon?"

Metal Gear _Isuka_ Leopaldon woofed in greeting.

Sol-id Snake grumbled, "It's better than nothing," jumped in, and began pummeling Liquid Winky's MG Blue. The battle between the giant robot dogs was destructive and long, but in the end MG Leopaldon won, chomping MG Blue to death and killing Liquid Winky at last.

          As Cloud slammed them around, Justine and Athena were desperately thinking of a way out of this mess. But the binder that held them fast to each other could not be destroyed. They couldn't pull their hands out of it, either, no matter how strong they were. If they didn't think of anything soon, they'd be dead.

And then they could hear the Wanderer speaking to them again, speaking in a memory of the time they were still training, before they sought out the Angelring…

_"You girls are pretty powerful in your own rights. But the one department you are lacking in is teamwork."_

_"What do you mean by that? Isn't the combo attack we pulled on Kagura earlier teamwork?"_

_"No. Teamwork isn't that. Teamwork entails trust and respect and discipline. It doesn't just combine your powers together; it binds them into a single cohesive unit that will apply strength greater than any of yours against an obstacle._

_"You must trust each other. You must become friends. When you are friends, when you trust each other and respect each other, then you can execute true teamwork."_

And that message he gave them before he left:__

_"If you truly need power, then remember this: The trigger of power you will need lies within the Angelring. Put it on. But the trigger will rely on the two of you to supply the power. Nothing more or less than you two will prove to be your saving grace._

And one last sentence echoes within their minds, something the Wanderer admitted he took from _Dexter's Laboratory _but which he pointed out the truth of it.

_"If you pull apart, it holds tight. But come together as good friends do, and then you will be free."_

Just like the item that held them together.

They exchanged looks of understanding, then. "We have to move with each other in order to be free."

"We have to move as each other in order to be free."

In the background, the theme _Dance Like You Want To Win_ from Evangelion –the one that was playing when Shinji and Asuka synchronized their moves with each other to defeat the 7th Angel Israfel– begins to play.

Justine and Athena were unstoppable. When Cloud moved to attack one, the other would hit his unprotected side. When he tried to defend against that, the one he was previously attacking used the new opening to hit him. When he cast Shell, the two girls then simultaneously blasted him with their powers, doing big damage even with the protective magic. Confused by the effective tactic, Cloud was being worn down by nonstop action.

In desperation, Cloud cast his ultimate Materia: Knights of the Round. The twelve knights rode out of the gloom, their swords held high and their armor shining bright. But, to Justine and Athena's surprise, the knights did not attack them. Rather, King Arthur turned to Cloud and said, "You have been corrupted by evil, Cloud. You cannot call upon our power anymore. Renounce that evil, and we will be yours to command again."

"Are you all abandoning me?" Cloud was in dark despair. "You would let Aeris die?" In a fit of fury, he summoned all of his power, pouring his very life into the _Kamigami_ sword, unleashing a massive force of evil. "I will never give up! This is for Aeris!"

"Time to finish this," Athena said. Justine nodded. The two girls activated their Instant Kill modes, their aura bright red.

"This is for Sol-_chan__._"

"This is for our own selves."

Athena charged forward. As Cloud struck out wildly, the _Kamigami_ lusting to slay the Goddess girl who defied it, Athena Double Jumped into the air. Overextending himself, his attack having missing its intended target, Cloud was left wide open for Justine –who, using Athena's initial 'fake kamikaze attack' as cover, followed right behind her friend. Catching the blonde Soldier in a tight hug as from her back sprung bright bioorganic Gear wings that propelled her and her target upwards into orbit, Justine glowed bright white. At the same time, Athena riding on Pegasus had followed them up, jumping towards her partner even as her own immense power formed into a massive ball of flaming Psyco energy that engulfed her and her target, merging with Justine's own _chi_.

"Seraphic Descendant: X-Laser!"

"Deus ex Masta!"

Night turned to day as a new sun came to life in the darkness of space. The clouds fled before the wave of pressure that descended upon the earth.

           "Eh? What the heck?"

"Did Riel die again?"

"Nah, he can't respawn _that_ fast. Besides, the explosion was in outer space."

"Are we being invaded?"

           When Justine regained consciousness, it was to find her body tired and hurting like hell. Athena was sprawled near her, likewise battered but alive.

"Athena?"

"I'm still alive, is that's what you're asking."

"Where's Cloud?"

From where he lay in a shallow pool of his own blood, Cloud raised his head to see the broken shards of _Kamigami_ shrivel into nothingness. He was bleeding from multiple wounds and he felt every bone in his body was broken. His targets were alive and victorious, already approaching him.

"Cloud-_sama_, are you okay?"

_What a stupid question_. _They always ask that all the time, even when it's obvious I'm not okay..._

"Aeris." Even as Justine and Athena began to do what they could to tend to his wounds, Cloud knew it was over for him and _her_. "I failed you… Aeris… I'm sorry…" He began to cry.

            "Well, well. It appears you failed."

His grin evil, his manner demeaning, Sho Tsuzuku stood before them. "Even after I lent you that evil sword and let my powerful Teletubby minions accompany you, you still failed. I'm very disappointed in you, Cloud Strife." His eyes glowed red as he stared at the broken Soldier. "I'm very disappointed.

"But, he added thoughtfully, "You did sufficiently weaken Justine and Athena enough to put htem at my mercy. In a way, you have succeeded in handing them into death. As we agreed, with your mission comes the price." Sho Tsuzuku held up the sphere containing Aeris' soul and casually tossed it within Cloud's reach. "Say hello to Aeris now. You'll be joining her soon enough, anyway."

With his dwindling strength, Cloud made to reach for the sphere that held Aeris' soul.

Then Sho Tsuzuku cruelly brought his boot to stomp on the sphere, crushing it as he laughed at Cloud's helpless horror.

"You evil Geese Howard look-alike!" Athena snarled in anger.

"Do not push your luck, girl." Sho Tsuzuku smirked. "I can easily obliterate all of you, especially in a state like yours right now. You couldn't even begin to imagine a shadow of a try to stop me."

Justine really wanted to dispute that statement, but she knew the truth of it. All three of them were badly injured and at Sho Tsuzuku's mercy.

"By the way," the villain said, turning his mocking glance back to Cloud. "I forgot to tell you one thing. You die for nothing, Boy Scout. The image of Aeris you saw was just that: An image; an illusion. I never did have Aeris' soul with me. You did my bidding for an empty prize."

In anger, Cloud tried to get up, even as he coughed on blood. "You liar…"

"Thank you. I regard that as a compliment." The ring on Sho Tsuzuku's hand glowed evilly. "And now, I will dispose of you gullible fools. Farewell to you. I hope you enjoy heaven –or hell."

He raised a hand to launch an attack that would destroy them all. The ring glowed bright as the focus of Sho Tsuzuku's power came into it.

           "That would be a mistake, Sho Tsuzuku."

The evil power actually paused in uncertainty. Sho Tsuzuku turned to stare at the speaker–

–and was promptly blinded by the light of the sun that was directly behind the latter, effectively obscuring the facial features of this intruder.

"A very good way to hide your identity, if I say so myself. Now, who dares interrupt me in my moment of evil?"

"One who wouldn't even bother to think how pathetic you are, even given this rather interesting situation."

"You don't seem to be Sheo Darren," Sho Tsuzuku said, wary because the speaker wasn't the author of this fan fiction. "So I don't see why you would go around throwing your weight arrogantly as you are doing now."

"But I have much reason to do so," coolly returned the newcomer, "And though I am not Sheo Darren himself, I would warn you that in this fan fiction, I possess as much –nay, I possess even _more_ power than Sheo himself."

To Justine, Athena and Cloud's surprise, Sho Tsuzuku seemed to acknowledge that unspoken fact. "I can feel even the tiny part of your power that you knowingly reveal to me, and it tells me that you are a foe to be reckoned with. But you do not seem hostile to me."

"That, as everything in the world, has circumstances and factors leading to it. Right now, I am not your enemy. But if you continue on with killing these three helpless people, I will be."

"And what is with your protection of them? What reason may you have?"

"Mine own." The newcomer smiled. "Mine own, and no one else's."

Sho Tsuzuku considered the veiled threat seriously.

"By the way," the newcomer then added in a falsely friendly manner. "Your new ward has just been defeated. Your plans are starting to collapse all around you."

The villain's eyes widened. "You speak truth. She has been defeated and turned back towards the side of good." Sho Tsuzuku glared just slightly at the newcomer before turning to Cloud and company. "I would really love to take the time to obliterate you, but fan fiction dimensional domination calls. Consider yourselves lucky, for there will not be mercy the next time.

"And as for you," the villain returned his glance to the newcomer who had balked him, "I will deal with you the next time we meet."

"There will not be a next time." 

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a fact." She –the newcomer was a girl from the tone of her voice– spoke evenly and without fear.

Forcing a smirk, Sho Tsuzuku turned away and teleported into the next chapter.

           "_A-Arigatou…"_

"There is no need to thank me." The newcomer glanced at the three people she had saved coolly. "I wouldn't have bothered, normally, but the plot calls for it."

"Who are you?"

Beside them, Cloud seemed to be stricken with some sort of inner peace. "_Anata__… anata wa…"_

"Be at peace, Cloud Strife." She actually smiled at him, however faint it was. "You will live– and perhaps you will see Aeris again in the coming sequel to FF7 that Square is making."

So saying, she turned to leave.

"But who are you?" Justine asked in desperation. "Why did you help us?"

The newcomer paused, and then turned slightly towards them. The sunlight that hid her features reflected upon the spectacles that were precariously balanced upon her face, just the same way a certain author wore them.

"Mine reasons alone. My identity–"

She smiled again.

"–Is not stranger to you at all."

So saying, she left.

           "Kaguryl–err: Kagura! Kagura!"

Kagura woke up at that gentle call. She was surprised to find none other than Sol Badguy –still in his Sol-id Snake uniform– holding her very carefully. He looked grumpy but pleased to see her awake. "About censored time," he grumbled. "You took your sweet time getting back, kid. I thought you were dead."

"Are the bad things gone?"

"Yeah. I killed them all."

"But why did you have to kill them?"

"Hey, don't feel sad for those bastards. They had it coming to them for bashing you."

"You killed them because they hurt me?"

"Yeah."

Her brown eyes were filled with happiness and admiration at that. "Sol…"

"Hey, don't get all chummy and sweet on me. I just did what I had to do…"

"Sol… you did that for me? You worried for me?"

Very much unlike himself, Sol sighed. Then he tried on a smile. "Yeah. I did."

Kagura broke into tears and hugged him. To Sol's surprise, he found himself hugging her back.

Behind them, 'Brit-Fox' Axl Low was crying on Metal Gear _Isuka_ Leopaldon's shoulder. "So sweet… reminds me of all those soap operas I used to watch back in the '90s…"

"Woof."

          Justine and Athena watched Kagura find the person who was, in _Chobits_ terms, 'her only one'. "Well," the first began, "It looks like Sol made a choice already."

"Aw… we had to do all of that stuff, and then it's for nothing? We don't get Sol at all?"

"Looks like it."

Both girls sighed.

"But," Cloud told them, "You've found something else just as valuable."

They looked at him.

"You've found friendship in each other. In my mind, that's a fair enough exchange."

The girls looked at each other. Then they began to grin.

"I guess so," Athena admitted.

"Maybe," added Justine as a joke.

They clasped hands then hugged each other.

The Purple Dinosaur respawned then and there. "Wow, a _yuri_ coupling!" He grinned crazily. "Sheo really _is _a repressed pervert, thinking up this thing from scratch..."

Then he remembered that Athena and Justine were right in front of him, looking very unhappy at the implication that they were homo; that Cloud just remembered a hatred of reptiles; that the three of them were very powerful and dangerous when pissed off; and that the Purple Dinosaur would do now what the Purple Dinosaur did best in this story: Die.

"Halo Schneider: Michael Sword!"

"Psyco Sword-Oh!"

"Omni Slash!"

"_Aray__._ '_Pag_ respawn _ko_, you are so fscking _dedo_…"

                                                                                *         *         *

            It was a happy welcome indeed for the Wanderer when he and Mai arrived at the Ultrasaurus. All the girls flocked out to greet Sheo's swordsman creation and the newest addition to the said author's harem.

But the person who stood out in the crowd, her eyes full of a profound intensity and focused solely upon the Wanderer and no one else, was Kirika Yumura.

The swordsman in black came to a halt, then, and they looked at each other in silence.

"Elde," murmured Kirika almost imperceptibly.

At that mentioned name, the Wanderer broke into a smile of fondness.

"_Tadaima__,_ Kirika-_kun_. I'm home."

He wasn't taken aback at all when Kirika –acting in an uncharacteristic way like none of the girls had ever seen her do before– threw herself on his with all the might in her small frame and hugged him tightly.

"_Okaeri_, Elde. _Okaerinasai__."___

All the girls cheered and giggled at the heartfelt romantic scene.

And then the Wanderer noticed that there was a pair of eyes glaring at him enviously and angrily, eyes that happened to belong to a certain newly-recovered redhead who happened to like Kirika very much and didn't like to share her with anyone else.

Chloe slowly let a knife fall into her hand as the waves of jealous overcame her. "_Omae__… omae… omae wo korosu!"___

"Uh, oh."

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Well," Yuuki said as the scene once more refocused upon her, "Since Chloe –here shown trying to waste the Wanderer for all's she's worth– is recovering quite nicely from the P4's infection and should no longer go around saying OMAKE–"

"YUUKI!" protested the chorus of Sheo Darren's harem in the background. "Don't say that word!"

"–And the P4 itself having hacked into TRUE Unknown's server and lodging in there for whatever reason that's come unto it: Anyway, it's up to me again to provide the assessment for the misnamed and ill-used 'Bonus' section.

"This chapter is the longest Sheo has written; the most tragic, but in his thinking, the one out of his recent chapters that approaches the way he wants this fan fiction to be writer: 'Sheo Darren effect'-wise. It will also be the last one for the moment, as far as he is concerned.

"You see, Sheo is a bit frazzled as his finals are approaching. He's got to study a lot, so he won't be updating this fan fiction for perhaps two weeks or more. Thus, the special episode and the new season of this story will also be delayed. The good news, however, is that he will also be postponing his Ragnarok Online gaming for perhaps a week. This should give him more time to write his fan fiction, especially the ones he's left alone for so long.

"Thus, I offer the following teasers as a sort of appeasement to fans of this story who'd kill for the next development, such as Lone Wolf SIX and Person WMA. Our way of saying, 'Please don't kill us, we'll come back eventually'."

"Who is this mysterious girl who poses such a threat to Sho Tsuzuku that rather than fight her openly, he would turn away? Is what she says really true? What did she mean about the next chapter and how she 'is not stranger to you at all'? Is she really more powerful than Sheo Darren? What's with Sheo's new headquarters and new set of girls, too? Why is it that _The Wedding Night_ is turning more serious, bloody and _shounen_?

**"And in the next episode of this story: **The power of the evil Mistress against the power of the cross-dresser, a huge war, the background to the romance of Bridget and May, and a farewell to an especially annoying evil! Plus: **Finally, the return of Sheo Darren! **(Honestly, he's really returning now. We promise.) Watch for it!****

"Until then, stand by for the next developments! Read and review!"

                                                                                *         *         *

            Framed by the horizon, the newcomer smiles mysteriously. _"Humanda na kayo.?"_


	14. The Lonely Battlefield Which Is Love

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

**Conceived and Written By:** Sheo Darren (back at last and here for good)

           In the previous chapter:

           I'm back, save that Lumiere had spoiled my grand return. sigh Anyway, Athena and Justine tag-team to defeat the fallen Cloud Strife (damn Sho Tsuzuku for pretending to have Aeris' soul!) Sol Badguy finally picks Kagura as a girlfriend. The Purple Dinosaur dies double time. And a new mysterious character appears in the world of _The Wedding Night 2._ Who can she be?

**Coupling: **Not just a Bridget-May coupling: The _one and only_ Bridget-May coupling ever in fanfiction.net, ever. Flame me, burn me, bribe me and deny me a real-life Japanese girlfriend –okay, maybe not the last one. Still, I will always be forever and ever a Bridget-May fan.

           Do forgive me, but this chapter will be mostly dark and sadistic and angst-laden, but there will still be funny elements still present and an overall romantic theme. I'm also adopting a new style of formatting for the text. I just have to finish this arc at last, the arc dealing with how I really got Bridget and May to pair up. Next chapter? Sho Tsuzuku dies at last! Yay!

**The Wedding Night Series**

**The Lonely Battlefield Which Is Love**

**The Previous Chapter:**

            "_Ohayou,_ Bridget. _Okaeri."_

           _Hello, Bridget. Welcome home._

**The Past:**

           _ "I… I lost…"_

           _ "Looks like it."_

           _ "This is so stupid! How could I ever lose to you?"_

           _ "It was a fair fight. You were very good; I could have lost to you if I was careless."_

           _ "Is that supposed to comfort me?"_

           _ "No. But I enjoyed fighting with you, if it makes any difference…"_

           _ "Eh? What do you mean by that?"_

           _ "You're different from all the others. You're just like me. We're just kids, dragged into the world of adults because of what we believe in."_

           _ "My reasons are different from yours."_

           _ "I know. You fight to gain the love you long for; I fight to gain the acceptance I dream off."_

           _ "Maybe…"_

           _ "Can we be friends?"_

           _ "Huh? Why?"_

           _ "Nothing wrong with being friends, is there? Kids like us should stick together. Besides, I'd like a rematch with you."_

           _ "You got it."_

           _ "Bridget. My name's Bridget."_

           _ "And I'm May."_

           _May…_

**The Present Chapter.**

           Bridget stared in horror at the girl who had once been –and still was– his beloved May.

She still wore a tight black formfitting leotard over her petite frame, but her pirate costume was no longer cute and vermilion. The hems of her dress had been shortened, the color changed from vermilion to dark ruby red– blood red. Her armored wrist guards were now bigger and paired with black leather gloves. The hat was gone, and her long brown hair was now tied up in a ponytail at the top of her head. The really scary part was that she still wore her squeaky shoes –the same shoes all GG gamers remember due the squeaky noise they made while she walked–, but overall her new costume made May a far more formidable-looking figure.

Especially the fact that Sho Tsuzuku was standing beside her.

"Now, I didn't expect you here," Sho Tsuzuku said to Sister Rosette Christopher, the nun holding Bridget protectively. "I don't even know you or the anime you come from. But if you don't let go of Bridget, I'm sure you'll start feeling pain."

"Eh? What the hell do you mean by–"

Faster than Bridget or Rosette could react, May's anchor went up and forward in a powerful one-hand smashing blow that sent the Magdala nun flying a good five meters before hitting the ground hard.

"Sister Rosette!"

Before Bridget could come to his friend's aid, May was already between him and the injured Rosette, and between them was her anchor. Bridget stared in abject horror and confusion at his wife.

"May! Why? Why did you attack her? She didn't mean you any harm! Why are you doing this?"

Her faint smile was the only answer he received –and the only warning as well.

The anchor came up and whirled at him with unbelievable speed, coming to a stop only a bare inch from his face.

"Why?" Bridget knew that the pirate girl could easily hurt him in that one unexpected move –killed him, even. But the specter of death wasn't the one that frightened him, but the specter of this girl who was his beloved. "Why? Why?"

"Don't you get it, boy?" Sho Tsuzuku smirked. "Your darling girl has turned to the Dark Side –_my_ side. She is now officially evil."

"What?" He stared at the villain first, then at his wife. "May? Evil?"

May broke into a slow, evil and sad smile. "I am no longer just May. I am **Dark Evil EX Gold God Hyper Omega Orochi Shin Super Saiyajin 4 Vicious Kusanagi May` 9999**."

"Dark Evil EX Gold God Hyper Omega Orochi Shin Super Saiyajin 4 Vicious Kusanagi May` 9999?" the audience echoed in horror.

"But you can call me Mistress May for short," she added. "That way, you avoid wasting too much time, like saying, 'TRUE KAISER LONE DARREN FORTY-EIGHT AND THREE QUARTERS' or something like that in Blackheart's story."

"Oh," the audience said in relief.

"May…" Bridget was overwhelmed by this ominously evil transformation. "May, what happened to you? Tell me?"

"What happened to _me_?" She made a false show of looking at her hands, then at her husband with surprisingly honest sadness in the crimson eyes that had softened to dark brown. "I think… I think I changed. And it's for the worse, too…"

"May." He reached out to her with a pleading hand, and to Sho Tsuzuku's slightest concern, May made as if she wanted to touch him back…

"Hold it right there!"

Ryu Hoshi, Ken Masters, Sakura, Rugal, Mister Karate, Iori, Akuma, Son Goku, Kyo Kusanagi (the original one), K` and K 9999 were there.

"We will not allow you to wreak your evil upon this world!" Ryu declared.

"I'm with you, bro," Ken said.

"Me, too!" Sakura said.

"Give me back the power I've been looking for since KOF '95!" Rugal ordered.

"You do not have the super long nose that comes with the title 'Hyper'," Mister Karate pointed out.

Akuma just stood there in his usual pose.

"Hey, kid," Kyo said with all his charm, "Want to date me?" Immediately an anvil fell from the sky and crashed on his head. "Where did that come from?"

"Your power level is impressive," Goku said, "But let us see how well you fight."

"K` and K 9999!" You-know-who said this. "Blast off at the speed of light!"

"No more Pokemon references!" everyone else yelled at them.

"I don't want to get blown up again," Iori mumbled, knowing full well what the Sheo Darren Effect specialized in: Random chaotic mayhem. "Sheo hadn't gotten enough sleep again…"

Whatever little humanity had returned to May vanished all of a sudden. Her eyes became blood red again and she walked past Bridget as if he wasn't there. That settled Sho Tsuzuku's slight onset of doubt: May would accomplish what he wanted her to do.

"Mistress May, destroy them all!"

Bridget turned around in panic and fear. "May! No!"

Too late: Her eyes ablaze and a thin smile on her lips, the anchor in one hand and a burning aura around her, May surged forward, her shoes squeaking comically but she herself like Lady Death given shape and life.

**Background Music ****Battle**** Theme: _Meet Again_**

****

           Ryu went first, rapidly launching _Hadoken_ fireballs at May. Being the _Hadoken_ Master, the _Shotokan_ karate fighter could pump out a lot of them in short notice, and each was the equivalent of a standard C4 demolition charge in terms of destruction. Pretty soon the area around May was cratered like the moon.

But May herself was unharmed.

She had dodged each and every one of the _Hadoken_ effortlessly, the fireballs flying missing her completely.

As further insult, May _swatted_ the last fireballs away with no sweat at all. "Where are you aiming?" she taunted.

(In the SRX dimension from _Super Robot Wars_ _Alpha_, SRX pilot Rai sweat-drops. "That's my dodge quote.")

Ryu was consumed with anger, and he focused his _chi_ into one massive attack. "Stand still and feel my fury!" he challenged.

Smirking, May obliged. She did not even prepare to dodge or even raise Fortress Block, instead awaiting the oncoming onslaught.

"_SHIN-HADOKEN!"_

The hugely destructive wave of _chi_ energy enveloped May completely.

Rosette just barely managed to stop Bridget from running towards his wife –or what was left of her after that massive attack. "_Yamete, _Bridget-_kun_!"

"May! No!"

But when the smoke and debris cloud cleared, May stood there, unharmed and unaffected by the blast.

"What?" Ryu murmured in disbelief.

May smirked. "You can't hit."

(Again in _SRW_, Rai says, "Will you cut it out?")

The Japanese girl raised her hand, and then a tiny black ball of crackling energy coalesced within it. The dark energy ball rapidly grew to softball size and stayed that way. Though it was small, it was definitely a–

"How on Earth did May get a Fireball?" Bridget asked in disbelief.

"Remember when Person WMA whacked her with a stick in Chapter 1 of _Keeper of the System_, complaining about what kind of Japanese she was without a _Hadoken_ move?" Rosette shrugged. "Sho Tsuzuku apparently fixed that."

"Thank you very much, Person," grumbled the blonde boy.

"That was so well said, I don't know if it was insult or praise."

(Far away, Person WMA was saying, "Will you never let me live down that comment, Sheo?")

"Are you ready?" smirked May.

"A ball of evil energy?" Then Ryu, seeing the diminutive size of his opponent's fireball, glared as he charged up his own attack. "I will not be beaten by such a token gesture."

"Suit yourself." Saying so, May lazily cast the dark ball of energy towards Ryu as if it was a baseball and then Double Jumped away, Fortress Blocking as she did so.

"You will not escape my attack this time! _Hadoken!_"

Just as Ryu released his fireball, the dark ball May unleashed dove straight at its target: The _Hadoken_ itself, only a foot or so away from the person who had just fired it–

–the blue-white fireball prematurely detonated, fully catching Ryu in its lethal blast radius, the _Shotokan _fighter receiving his own devastating medicine (albeit with a little bonus from May). Ryu fell down, badly burned and incapacitated.

"How dare you hurt _Sensei_ Ryu!" Righteously angered, not waiting for Ken or the others to back her up, Sakura blindly darted forward with a battle cry towards May. The latter girl's only reaction was to bend back a little as Sakura executed a roundhouse spin kick that in its sheer force and power would have taken May's head off if it connected.

But Sakura's kicks had always had an angle to them where the attack becomes more of an anti-air move; that was how high she kicked. May predicted that angle and –seeing that the margin of safety where the foot would simply whiz over her head was horizontally the gap between her and Sakura and vertically just an inch lower than her own height– had repositioned herself appropriately.

Simply put, she ducked and backed away just a bit.

Sakura's kick missed.

As the stunned girl –unable to correct her error in time and totally vulnerable to attack– just barely managed to halt herself, May stepped up to her and advised, "You and Jam kick too high. _Bai, bai_."

Bye, bye, indeed, as the massive anchor swung in for the finishing blow–

Sakura disappeared.

Sho Tsuzuku blinked just once before he allowed himself to smirk. "It appears that someone is taking an interest in that schoolgirl's safety."

"I thought he didn't like her very much," May commented as she shouldered her weapon in a ready position.

"The _Street Fighter Alpha_ OAV he glimpsed must have changed his mind."

"Sheo really is a pedophile."

"He must also like panty flashes. And _fuku_."

"Ah, yes, the inklings of a repressed pervert's obsession..."

Now it was Ken's turn to fight. "You not only hurt my best friend, you also erased Sakura! You may be a girl, but I won't go easy on evil people like you!"

May shrugged in a cutely evil manner. "I didn't get rid of the girl; Sheo Darren did. As for your best friend–" she snickered roguishly at the thought, "I've always been of the opinion that you and Ryu were more than just chums."

"What?" Ken puzzled over that comment for a minute. Then two minutes. Then five minutes.

"Stupid youngsters," Mister Karate muttered impatiently.

"Stupid Americans," added K`.

"Stupid blondes," agreed K 9999.

"Shut up, will you?" Then Ken realized what innuendo May was suggesting. "We are _not_ gay!" he practically howled at her.

"Tell that to all the _yaoi_ fan fiction writers in the world. See if they care."

Enraged beyond reason, Ken dashed forward for his _Shin-Shoryuken,_ the dragon flames of vengeance enveloping his arm as he launched into an uppercut that would have wiped out 30% of anyone's health bar–

–Had he hit May, save that the latter teleported and appeared right behind him, completely dodging the attack.

Any _Shoryuken_ style attack is powerful enough by itself (Sol Badguy's Volcanic Viper/Grand Viper is a stellar example). The _Shin-Shoryuken_ is the ultimate _Shoryuken_. Ken is the _Shoryuken_ Master.

But the primary weakness of _Shoryuken_ is that if you missed, you were left wide open for attack.

"What the–"

"You may have been Vicious," May smirked, "But you are still _Ken_."

So saying, she smacked him hard with the one ton anchor.

The impact reduced all of the bones in Ken's body into powder and sent him flying back to America, where all impudent _gaijin_ should remain and where his wife Eliza was happy to have her husband back home, albeit the latter having been reduced to a helpless pulp.

May pretended to yawn as a gesture of contempt and said, "Next."

Because the author is bored and can't think of appropriate fighting scenes and wishes to keep this story from growing to epic proportions, he will not bother to flesh out the details of how May massacred the rest of the fighters. Suffice to say that each fighter received a crushing blow that broke them completely and utterly. May pulled out all of Rugal's teeth–

**Rugal:** "I nid tu she me ordontist."

**Bridget: **"He said, 'I need to see my orthodontist,' or something like that…"

**May:** "Icky. Don't you brush your teeth?"

–broke Mister Karate's nose–

**Mr. Karate:** "I can still apply for _Pinnochio,_ right?"

–kicked Kyo in the groin–

**Kyo:** "Ah! Megumi-_sama_! Please grant me a new set!"

**Belldandy: **"Collect seven magic balls first, return them to us and summon the magic dragon. Then we grant your wish."

**Urd:** "You're cruel, sister."

**Skuld:** "Where's Sheo? I was supposed to give him my Banpei Mk III attack robot…"

**Blackheart ZERO:** "And I quote: 'Nevermore' anymore!"

–blew up Akuma's island beneath his feet–

**Akuma:** "I was the one who was supposed to self destruct my base. Oh, well…"

–bashed the two K's heads in–

**May:** "No appropriate comments will be coming from these two."

**Fans Who Hate Pokemon:** "Yay."

And for Goku? Let's just say that May found a certain someone who everyone knows to be a monkey-hater.

**Earl Osborne:** "Die, monkey!" stabs Goku with a pencil in the eye, and thus Goku dies, dropping an Animal Skin, a Banana, a Yoyo Tail, a Yoyo Card and a Yoyo Doll "Wow, _yayaman ako nito, a!"_

Bridget stared at the gory spectacle. "That was all you needed to kill Goku? Sheo must really hate Dragonball Z."

Resting her huge anchor on her shoulder, May aimed a sideways glance at him. "Well, Bridget-_chan_?" She was smiling evilly. "What do you think? Did I improve?"

The sheer violence of those attacks left Bridget stunned. The cute pirate girl was always a formidable fighting character thank to her powerful _chi,_ a mystical power found only in the almost-extinct Japanese people and in an even fewer handful of others. But this evil side of hers was far more devastating, simply because she wasn't holding back anymore. May had let her power go wild and unlocked her dark side freely, and whoever was in her way was cut down mercilessly.

Before he could attempt to speak, three more figures arrived.

"Dan Hibiki, master of the Saiko-Ryu, will save the day!"

"I, Mister Satan, shall defeat the evil child and save the world!"

"Ryo Takazashi will not stand down and lose!"

"Lambs to the slaughter," May murmured gleefully.

"No!" Bridget yelled, but he was too late. Dan and Mr. Satan and Ryo charged forwardly bravely –or idiotically, considering they were the losers of their respective games and anime.

"Ha-yaah!"

May pursed her lips and then said, "Boo."

Dan and Mr. Satan and Ryo screamed like silly –Morale -100, to all Super Robot Wars fans out there?– and tried to run away. 'Tried' was the operative word. Annoyed at the bumbling losers and feeling sadistically inclined for overkill, May used her new –actually, her reconstituted Overdrive move to finish them off.

"SUPER VANDREAD!"

The massive robot came out of the sky, opened up all of its missile launchers and laser cannon weaponry, and fired. When the explosions stopped at last, all that remained of the three losers were three gravestones marked 'Dan Hibiki', 'Mister Satan' and 'Ryo Takuma'. May their souls rest in peace –or not, considering May is now chuckling evilly.

("You know," Lone Wolf SIX said to Hibiki and Cassandra, "I think it was a bad idea giving May that particular attack back in _GG vs SNK_.")

"Well," May said as she dusted her hands theatrically, "I think that handles that."

"I don't think so," said a voice.

Before May could react, Iori Yagami began blasting her point blank with all of his moves. "I will not allow you to retain my Orochi power! Feel the burning of my purple flames of evil!"

May reeled back from the relentless barrage. "Eight Wine Cups! Crow Bite! And now," Iori got into his Overdrive pose, "Prepare for Maiden Masher (but with you, there's not much to mash)–"

WHAM!

Before Iori could begin to execute: Anvil from the sky!

"What was that for, Sheo?" Iori shook his fist at the sky. "She is the bad guy!"

Sol Badguy appeared out of nowhere, bopped Iori on the head with the hilt of _Fuenken_, gruffly said, "I'm the one and only Badguy around here, bub," and left.

Kagura appeared and added, "And there's nothing you can do about it, Mr. I'm A Gay," and left as well.

Iori sweat-dropped and decided a groan was in order. "Nothing changes much…" He then felt someone tapping his shoulder. "Eh?"

"Nobody does that to May, however evil she may be." Bridget was glowing with a red aura, and you know what follows next.

"SHOOT THE MOON!"

**The Moon**

           As Iori pulled himself out of the lunar rock he had been half-imbedded into, he decides that since it's so far away from the trouble spots on Earth, the moon isn't such a bad place–

And then sees a bunch of Chinese astronauts hot-footing it like hell past him.

"What was that for?"

The answer came a second later as a howl of fury –audible even in the vacuum of space (which is scientifically impossible according to physics; but this is, after all, sort of like a movie)– reached him, and then a nearly naked and very homicidal man dressed only in a _bahag_ (loincloth) and brandishing a _kris_ (wavy Muslim sword) charged at him.

Yes, it's the same guy from Chapter 3 of this same story, the Filipino who was shot to the moon and who promptly claimed Mare Tranquilis for himself.

"Crazy Filipinos…"

**The World**

           The yoyo came to rest in his hands, but not with the usual daredevil grin of before. Instead, when he turned around to look at the girl he had just saved –the girl he was willing to give up his life for, however deep into the darkness she had fallen– there was a profound intensity to the sadness in his green eyes, a sadness that knew no end.

"_Doshite? Doshite?"_

_Why? Why?_

"Why did you save me?" she asked.

"I love you, May." Bridget was trembling with unhappiness and anger. "You're my wife, the girl I'm bonded to till death does us part. I love you more than anyone and anything in this world, even myself."

His head snapped up, his green eyes meeting May's crimson ones. "But I can't let you go around hurting and killing people like what you're doing now!"

"So you'd fight me?" she asked quietly. "Would you, Bridget-_chan_?"

"I'll stop you! I'll stop you!" His fists clenched. "If I have to fight you, yes, I will fight you! I'll fight you if it's that what I need to stop you!"

"Why? Why do this?"

"Because this is all wrong, and you can't –won't stop doing this, you won't stop hurting everyone, hurting yourself!–, and only I'm around to stop you!" Bridget was crying now, crying unmanly-like, but being a man even in tears. "I love you too much to just stand by and let you hurt yourself!"

To his surprise, his words seem to have paused May. "You… you promised…"

"May?"

"One… one more fight… you promised… you promised me that…"

**The Past:**

           _ "…I'd like a rematch with you."_

           _ "You got it."_

**The Present:**

            "…You promised me… you promised me one more fight."

"Is this the reason why you did all this?"

A fateful wind blew through the fields.

"Yes."

Cold wrapped Bridget's heart tight, but he was no longer moved by it.

"Will you?" May looked pleading, helpless. "Will you fight me?"

A gloved hand squeezed upon his yoyo strings.

"Will you fight me?" she asked again.

"Wait."

It was Rosette, injured from May's earlier attack but on her feet, moving towards Bridget with decision. May nearly stepped forward, as if to block the nun's way from her potential opponent, a human feeling in her eyes that was–

Sho Tsuzuku restrained his ward with one strong hand. "Not yet."

May stopped, but the feeling of envy bottled up within her –the envy at seeing another girl so close to the boy who was hers alone, the wave of jealousy that a faithful loving wife had for her beloved husband– raged.

"Here." Rosette put a bundle of clothes in Bridget's hands. "A guy I met gave these to me and asked me to give them to you. Strange swordsman guy dressed in black who talked really weird, but he's a good guy. He said to give it to you if you ever felt your old life coming back to you."

When Bridget unfolded the bundle he held, he only just managed to choke back his emotions.

It was his old clothes, the girly 'nun' outfit he wore for fifteen years before discarding it completely for a new life.

Somehow it all seemed to fit now. Even as Rosette blushed and turned away to give him a semblance of privacy, Bridget slowly discarded the clothes he wore and put on his old battle costume. Everything still fit: The gloves, the blue and white dress, the veil with cross and insignia, the oversized hula-hoop handcuff around his waist. The wind blew away his other clothes, symbolically carrying away the dream-like new life he had cherished, leaving him to bear his old one again like a heavy cross.

He turned to face May now, alone, as Rosette moved away to give him space and Sho Tsuzuku himself stepped back, swaying as he once did when he was still cosplaying as a girl, that all-too-feminine sashaying that belied his true gender.

It was his battle, his alone. Bridget would fight her alone.

And yet, he never fought alone…

"I have an appointment elsewhere," Sho Tsuzuku was saying, "So I'll leave you to deal with Bridget. Do have fun." He vanished, teleported to another place on earth.

Only Bridget, May and Rosette were left.

"Will you?" Again, that question of hers. "Will you fight me?"

This time, he answered: "Yes."

"Bridget," Rosette murmured, and began to pray that somehow this fight end well–if it could ever…

She smiled at last, a sad smile. "Heaven or Hell."

"Let's rock," he murmured back.

**The J-Ark**

           "My grand return's ruined. There's a big battle looming ahead of me, and I don't exactly think it's easy to win. Ebs and Rocky writing a fan fiction that involves dragging all of the girls I like into it, and I'm powerless to stop it since it's _their_ story, not _mine_. My friends' _ecchi_ tendencies are rubbing off me. In real life, I just might have to take summer classes. I hate summer classes. I still don't have a girlfriend. And the worst of all: Lone Wolf SIX didn't review my previous chapter."

Sheo Darren sighed and began thumping his head softly on the table. "I think I want to just drop dead right now."

"Sheo?" It was Lumiere's voice over the PA. "ETA is 45 minutes."

"_Hai_. Sound red alert, please, Lumiere. All hands to battle stations."

"_Wakaremasu._ All hands, battle stations. All hands, battle stations. Red alert. This is not a drill. I repeat, red alert. This is not a drill…"

Again Sheo sighed, even as around him the formidable J-Warriors battleship J-Ark and its accompanying flotilla of powerful warships –the _Silvana,_ the Stargazers space battleship_ Yamato,_ the _Nadesico_ of _Martian Successor_ fame_,_ the Terran battle cruiser _NORAD II,_ the SDF-1 _Macross_, and theCrossbone Vanguard's _Mother Vanguard_ being some of the notable ones– went to full annihilation mode.

"Death on the wing…"

**Background Music ****Battle**** Theme: _A Simple Life_**

****

           The peace was broken by the huge mass of a giant pink whale that materialized out of nowhere, a monstrosity that met its match in the equally huge teddy bear dropping from the sky. Their collision broke the ground all around them, the two super-heavyweight attacks canceling out each other. Even as the dust had not begun to clear, battle cries could be heard.

"Starship!"

"Rolling Pursuit!"

Bridget's yoyos rebounded off the thick steel mass that was the anchor May brought to bear. The Brit lad ducked underneath –Rolling Pursuit was more of an anti-air move–, loosed one of his red-black yoyos again and waited until his opponent came down.

"Roger Rush!"

Immediately the yoyo transformed into a teddy bear, its limbs swinging around wildly in a kung-fu assault that would have made John Woo cry in joy. May was ready for the attack, using her chi to summon the blue-white dolphin and send it as a living missile against Roger.

"Mister Dolphin Upper!"

Roger was flung back, but Bridget was already running towards it. Retrieving the teddy bear as it transformed into a yoyo again, he released both yoyos, jumped aboard the flaming contraptions and sought to ride down May with Kick Start My Heart. The latter blocked her anchor and then used her weapon to flip him into the air. As she swung around to take a shot at him again, May wasn't surprised to have Bridget right up to her, grabbing and throwing her over his shoulder in a judo throw and then following up with the Rolling Pursuit leg drop that knocked the breath out of her.

Bridget jumped back to his feet but didn't stay up for long as May –adopting a move that the Hulk made famous– bashed the ground hard with her anchor. The mighty blow actually cracked the rock they stood upon, sending splinters and dust flying. Just as Bridget just barely managed to get his balance back, May did a football tackle, caught him around the waist and then flung him up into the air to meet her Overhead Kiss. Amazingly he managed to get his yoyos up to deflect the killer blow, but was still knocked backwards a good five meters through sheer impact strength.

Even he skidded to a halt, Bridget executed his next move. One of his yoyos was lying right at May's feet –he had intentionally dropped it there during their scuffle. He flipped a switch on his yoyo controls, and the toy fasted itself upon May and began to blink. "Lock on!" Bridget yelled for extra effect as he darted in yet again. "Me/My Killing Machine!"

Again Roger was unleashed, this time riding a bicycle apparatus of doom, catching May open and blasting her backwards. At the same time, Bridget was rapidly executing enhanced Starship after enhanced Starship at her, his attacks boosted by his earlier Lock On. The seemingly relentless wave of rapid hammer blows forced May back, the pirate girl unable to block all or even just some of the strikes.

But just when he thought he was winning, May shrugged off his last Starship and summoned yet another whale, this time a scarred black-and-white orca whose mass clipped Bridget aside despite his agility. Then, both of her hands gripping her anchor tightly, May began to go absolutely berserk, thrashing this way and that with the immense bludgeon and screaming her head off. Bridget was forced to use Fortress Block, as his normal defense couldn't withstand the Ultimate Unmanageable Child. When the anchor slammed one last time into the ground, he dropped the shield and rushed back in yet again, knowing May had no Tension energy left to launch another Overdrive–

But she was waiting for exactly that move. Almost immediately Bridget was proven wrong –almost fatally so, at that.

"Anchor Whirlwind!"

It was just by the worst kind of luck –or the best, perhaps– when the anchor caught him across the back and sent him flying into the dust. As he rolled to a stop, the air beaten out of his chest and his whole body feeling numb from that one blow, Bridget was thinking one painfully late thing: Unlimited Tension Bar.

"_Kisama…"_ One of the numerous Japanese words May had taught him the past year escaping his lips, Bridget got up again –and very nearly went down for the count. His vision went black for a moment, and he sagged against something or someone–

"Bridget!"

All throughout the uneven battle, Rosette had stood by and watched, hoping against hope that Bridget would win. To her horror, the courageous boy had gotten hit one time, and it seemed only one hit was enough to bring him down. Before he could fall again, the Magdala nun had rushed towards him and, despite her own injuries, caught his battered frame in her arms.

His dusty yet handsome face looked up to her and forced a grin. "It's not as easy as it looks like," he coughed as he gratefully accepted his friend's help.

"Stop this at once." Rosette was frightened now, totally unlike her usual bravado-filled self. "You're in no condition to fight anymore. You're overmatched. You have no chance to beat her in this state!"

"And you're saying _I_ should give up?" Those green eyes flashed. "I'm not going to give up that easily!"

"Until you die in the attempt, is that it?"

He looked away. "I'd rather die trying than die not doing anything."

Opposite them, May had stopped fighting and was watching them intently, almost enviously. Bridget noticed this.

"You're envious, aren't you?" When she did not respond at once, he decided to go on. "You're envious because there's a girl close to me and that girl is not you, is it?"

Her fist tightened on her anchor. "Don't try me," she warned, angry.

"A simple 'yes' or 'no' would do."

May actually glared at him, then turned her eyes away from his. "Yes."

"Then enough of this." Bridget pushed Rosette away from him and staggered forward, yoyos armed and ready. "I know talking to you won't accomplish anything. Let's finish this fight."

There was just a tiny hint of fear in her voice when May shot back, "You'll get killed if you go on fighting me!"

"Probably," he deadpanned.

"You're no match for me at all. I've got all of their evil powers locked up within me. Ryu, Ken, Sakura, Iori, Akuma, all the others. I've got so many moves to choose from that my head is spinning, and I've got so much power locked within that I think I'm going to burst."

"So?"

"You don't get it!" Real heartfelt tears spilled from crimson eyes that were suddenly returning to the familiar chocolate brown of before; May was regaining her humanity in that outburst of unhappiness. "I've ignored all of those powers! I've only used my own power, the power I've got! And even against just that, you're no match at all! How can you even hope to win against me?"

A faint smile crept over his battle-worn features. "I'm going to win," said Bridget with growing confidence, "Because you're going to let me win."

She very nearly dropped her anchor in shock.

"You hear me, May? I'm going to win. I'll win because you'll let me win."

"_Baka_ Bridget…" _Stupid Bridget…_ "You think I'll let you win?"

He kept on grinning.

_"Baka… baka… baka… baka… baka… BAKA!"_ Even roughly wiping away her tears with her free arm, May found out she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "Stupid Bridget! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Stupid!"

"Let them go." He was smiling softly now. "You can let them go, can't you?"

She stared at him, consumed in her anguish as she was, but knowing truth at last. Then she shuddered as all the dark evil energy rushed out of her in one primal scream and left her powerless save for her own spiritual energy, her own natural power retained.

The small gasping form hunched over her anchor was no longer Mistress May, but merely just May.

As Bridget took a step towards her, thinking to help her, May pulled herself back on her feet, swaying as she did from exhaustion as she did so but shrugging off any outside help. But what reignited hope inside Bridget's heart was that the look on May's face was one that didn't ask for pity or help, but was a familiarly bratty game look that was hers alone.

"Let's get this thing over with, Bridget," she said.

"Let's."

They ran towards each other for the final attack they would launch. They passed by each other as blurs, their last moves brief and swift. Then, to Rosette's horror, Bridget fell down to his knees, clutching at his right arm with a small cry of pain.

"Bridget!"

But before the Magdala nun could even begin to run towards her friend, before she could even think about doing something, his eyes fell on her, and Rosette saw not pain or frustration in them–

Sunlight fell upon that long thin line of indestructible string whose starting point was in his gloved hands…

–because he had succeeded in catching May in his most underestimated of moves, a move most game reviews belittle as 'too obvious and slow' and 'of limited practical combat use', but one that came in pretty handy in real life battles–

…and whose length was wrapped around his target, immobilizing her and forcing her to let go of her anchor, the massive weapon resting on the ground just as the business end of her opponent's weapon –the yoyo– was ticking ominously…

–The attack, executable when Bridget pressed that small red button on the controlling end of his yoyo, would end this battle, was the Overdrive known as–

"Faulty Maintenance," whispered May in a voice that was both despondent and happy, satisfied at last by this battle. "You caught me with a Bad Trick…"

Bridget didn't speak.

They stood like that for a long moment.

Silence reigns for a while.

"Do it."

He doesn't answer.

"Do it. Finish me off."

Still there is silence.

"If you don't use it, I'll break free and continue fighting. If you use it, you win."

Yet, his silence continues.

"Bridget." The softness of her plea was honest and of good intention. "There is no other ending but you or me. There is no such thing as a draw. Either you win, or I win. Do it, and win. Do not do it, and our fight will go on, and maybe I will win."

And still he goes on with his silence.

"Do it. Do it now."

He trembles only once, but is still once more.

"Do it, Bridget."

His hands tighten upon the detonator.

"Bridget–"

He hugged her.

**Background Music Drama Theme: _Sayonara Solitaire_**

****

           Of all the things she expected, this was the last thing on her mind.

There were only two outcomes. Sho Tsuzuku told her that. Victory or Defeat. Life or Death. Heaven or Hell. There could only be two outcomes, no more and no less. There could not be any other.

She had come here and fought in order to see which outcome was hers and which one was his. She wanted to know.

And yet this…

"May."

His voice, it seemed so familiar and pleasant. She longed to hear it again and again and again, talking to her, arguing with her, bawling at people who called him 'Quatre' when he was not Quatre. She did not care about anything he said; she only cared that he was the one to say it. Only that he says it.

"May."

His embrace, it was so warm and loving and tightened every second as if he did not want to let go of her, as if she was his anchor in a stormy sea and to let go was to risk annihilation and loss. It was as if by this hug that he gained importance and identity and protection and happiness, as if he and she were close together like nothing else, a bond that was cemented by so many nights when they held each other tight and knew nothing else but each other… and love…

"May."

His lips, they brushed past her cheek softly, slowly, teasingly. She had felt them before many times, and yet she never was tired or annoyed by them. She would never be; she would always be waiting for that caress as eagerly as the first time, even after years and centuries and millennia pass by.

"May."

Her hand rose up to stroke his face gently, like always, a gentleness that wasn't like her at all. His hand rose up to touch her hand, their fingers merging into each other, finding the gaps between and filling them for each other, just as a man and a woman were meant to fill the empty spaces of each other with their love.

Rosette wiped away a tear of joy. "At last. Thank God it's over"

"May," he said softly in her ear.

"Bridget," she murmured in answer.

"I love you."

           Though depressed like hell, Sheo did faintly smile as he observed his two favorite Guilty Gear characters finally find each other once more. "A ray of sunshine in a dark life: When all else seems dark, a semblance of hope remains." He tipped his glasses. "And that is what we all can hope for. That is all we need hope for."

With a last smile, he turned to issue the command all of his allies and his girls await.

"Now is the time to fight for a lasting peace." His eyes glimmered with hope. "Let's roll."

           The girl watched the lovers' reunion. The sunlight fell on her glasses, hiding her face from view.

"There is a storm gathering to consume all of us." She coolly observes the collection of awesome warships straddle the sky, their massive bulk bristling with weaponry. "An errant flame comes to engulf the world, a flame that does not belong to this world. The cost will be high: Hearts will perish and bodies wither away.

"Dust to dust. Amen.

"But a soul shall be redeemed in that battle, and the return of one so long lost cannot be stayed."

She smiled frankly and pleasantly.

"But for now, peace reigns. For now, love is all that matters."

So saying, she left.

           She dared to keep silent only for a moment, her emotions taking over her heart gladly, she herself allowing it to happen so. _"Baka _Bridget." _Stupid Bridget._

"_Baka _May." _Stupid May._

And then, the cord that held her heart prisoner fallen away decades ago, turning around and sweeping him in the full force of her hug, May buried her face against Bridget's chest and murmured, "_Gomene." I'm sorry._

"_Aishiteru._ Now and forever._"_ _I love you. Now and forever._

She kissed him, and he kissed her back, and they knew nothing else but each other… and love…

           May had returned to her beloved Bridget.


	15. Part 1: Rising

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

**Conceived and Written By:** Sheo Darren

           In the previous chapter (the one and only Bridget-May pairing fan fiction online or offline!):

           One final battle is waged to redeem the soul of a girl lost in the darkness. One desperate boy reaches out to a love that feels so alone and abandoned in the lonely battlefield that is called love. Yet, even though the clouds of war loom over the horizon of their world, two hearts find their way back to each other's arms. All is well, all is in love.

           May has gone back to her beloved Bridget at last…

**Disclaimer**

           I don't own anything here but myself, my created characters and the story itself. Especially not the stuff from _Lord of the Rings_ I'm going to copy; I'm a Tolkien fan through and through. Peter Jackson and the latest movie adaptation rocks.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**_"All Good Things Must Come To An End…"_**

**Part One of Five: _Rising_**

.

.

**Straight from the ending of Chapter Twelve**

            The first inkling Sho Tsuzuku had that something was wrong was when he felt that slight surge from a distant place just as he teleported. It didn't come from that mysterious new girl who had so brazenly stepped into his way. It wasn't Sheo Darren either; for some reason, Sho Tsuzuku could not detect the former's aura. It was either that the author in question was very skilled at hiding his power –highly unlikely, considering how scatterbrained he was at times– or Sheo was using some new technique and plan.

The answer to his question appeared when his teleport ended.

"Hello, Sho. It's been quite a while."

Yuuki Darren a.k.a. That Girl was looking quite spry and vigorous for someone who had just come off several episodes of coma. She was dressed in a simple long-sleeved white sweater blouse with the hood undone and a short dark blue pleated skirt and her usual aviator glasses precariously balanced upon her cute little nose. She also wore a rather unfriendly expression on her face.

The one new thing about her was the cute little pendant that hung around her neck, which caught the light from any angle and shone with a special sheen.

"Ah, Yuuki." Sho Tsuzuku was quite convincing as he pretended to be surprise. "What a pleasant outcome. I didn't expect you to be here. What brings you to this–"

"Stow it, Sho," she said quite severely. "I've no time to play games, and I'd rather not waste my energy in putting up with your twisted dialogue."

"So, it was you who redirected my teleport to this place." He raised an eyebrow. "Impressive. No one's done it before."

"No one _thought_ to _do_ it before. _Star Wars_ Interdictor Cruiser to any fans of the Empire out there?"

"And just why did you interrupt me? I have a very important new associate I'm supposed to tend. She'd flunked her entrance exam, but I think I can still give her a make-up test for that."

"That's very easy," she said. "I'm here to stop you."

"Oh?" Sho Tsuzuku pretended dismay. "_You?_ Stop _me?"_

"I'll stop your evil once and for all."

"You and what army?" he sneered.

Exactly as if she had rehearsed it with her allies –which she had not–, Yuuki raised her hand dramatically. "Yuuki Darren rides alone," she called, even as behind her a mismatched but formidable group of individuals appeared to back her up.

"Not anymore." Ky Kiske –unfortunately still stuck in his 'girl' mode but making the most out of a bad situation– looked up from where he knelt, hands upon the Thunderseal, rising up with gallantry and a certain 'bounce'. "Justice Warriors! Assemble!"

Ky, a ninja guy wearing a mask with many eyes and a long flowing red scarf and carrying an evil sword, Venom, Baiken and Anji went into their _sentai_ pose.

**Ky****: **"Fight! For everlasting justice!"

**Venom: **"For the sake of Millia Rage!"

**Baiken****:** "To get paid!"

**Anji****: **"To impress Baiken!"

**Ninja: **"I am the Dark…"

**All:** "GO JUSTICE WARRIORS! GO! GO! GO!"

"Kiske," Johnny asked in an honestly annoyed tone, "When are you going to drop the entire Blackheart ZERO _sentai_ hero thing?"

"Leave me alone." Ky was admittedly cute as a girl, especially when moping. "I've already been turned into a girl. I must redeem myself."

"Right…"

"That was actually pretty neat," Millia commented to Venom favorably. "But why the Black Justice Warrior costume?"

"It was either that, or the 'White Cracker' one."

"Oh. I see."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Ky glared at the _shinobi_ (who was not the GG _shinobi_ we all know and love_.)_ "You're not Chipp!"

"Forgive me. I did not introduce myself." The ninja made a quick and proper Japanese bow, fist in palm. "I am Hotsuma, the ninja warrior from the _Shinobi_ PS2 games."

"I know who you are! Just what are you doing here? Where's Chipp?"

"Chipp Zanuff is temporarily unavailable. As his close friend, it is my duty and honor to represent him and fight with those he holds as friends."

"What the hell is he doing that keeps him from going here?"

                                                                                *         *         *

**In Lone Wolf SIX's _Revolution: It's Not What It Seems_**

           …The office door forcefully opened. Both Chipp and Chii looked at the entrance and saw a woman wearing body-hugging battle suit, complete with armory and equipments. "Uh-oh…" Chipp uttered and had a panicked face.

"Dark Chii has found Chipp," the woman declared and took out a USP, "Dark Chii will kill Chipp."

"CHII!" Chii cried and faced Dark Chii. "Chii will not let anyone hurt Chipp! Chii will not let Dark Chii kill Chipp! Chii will protect Chipp from Dark Chii!"

"This is one of those days I'd rather not face," Chipp mumbled and shook his head.

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Oh," Ky said.

They were there, almost all of them. Ky Kiske. Dizzy Kiske. Anji Mito. Baiken Mito. Johnny. Potemkin. Faust. Millia Rage. Venom. Eddy. Zappa. I-No. Raven. Slayer. The glaring absences were Chipp Zanuff (Hotsuma was in his place), Sol Badguy, Justine Harrier a.k.a. Justice, Axl Low, Bridget and May, Testament and Jam Kuradoberi. Aside from those seven, all the Guilty Gear fighters were there.

In addition, there were two fighters present who were not GG characters: Rock Howard and Hotaru Howard, their pair side by side with Dizzy and Ky.

"An impressive showing," Sho Tsuzuku said condescendingly. "I applaud their appearance, if only for the fact that you've been able to keep them in rein so far."

He looked meaningfully at Millia and Venom, who were giving the flighty Eddy angry glances; at I-Nou, who looked distastefully at Raven; at Baiken, who was giving That Girl the cold shoulder; at Zappa, who was thankfully sober and did not have any ghost hovering around him at the moment; at Hotsuma, whose long red scarf flew wild in the air –and into the face of Johnny, who swore angrily at that annoyance; and at Faust, who was at the back of the group and whom everyone was every now and then keeping an eye on, just to make sure he didn't shove something up their ass.

"You don't know what I had to do to get them all to agree," Yuuki said dryly.

                                                                                *         *         *

**Flashback to a few hours ago…**

          First of all was Ky Kiske. The former leader of the _Seikishidan_ was a formidable fighter and the bearer of _Furaiken_. Yuuki knew he was married to Dizzy now, and Dizzy was on her list, too, and getting two fighters in one persuasion were convenient.

Besides, she couldn't find out where Sol Badguy was. She'd have gone to him first despite their century-old enmity; Sol was the hero, after all, and the hero is always kick-ass.

But she didn't know where the former Frederick Mercury had gone. Hence, the next best fighter on the block.

"Hello? Is this the Kiske residence?"

"Yes, Miss?"

"Good morning, Ky-_san._ I don't think you remember me –actually, you would, but I'd rather not make a fuss out of it; I don't want to–"

"Sorry, miss. I'm not Ky Kiske."

"You aren't? But –but you look exactly like– wait: Rock Howard?"

"That's me."

"No wonder. I really should put my glasses back on; my vision isn't really that good without them." Saying so, the newcomer puts on her glasses.

"Hey, aren't you Yuuki? You're Sheo Darren's version of That Man."

"Yes, but please don't attack me. I didn't come here to make trouble."

"So what did you come here for?"

"I need to talk to Ky and Dizzy. I need their help. We have to save the world."

"Save the world?"

"We're going to fight Sho Tsuzuku. You want world-threatening evil? He's the man for it."

"Then I and Hotaru will help you out as well!"

"_Honto__ ne?__ Domou arigatou gozaimasu,_ Rock Howard-_san_! Can I talk to Ky-_san_ now?"

"Um, Ky is a little busy right now, Miss Yuuki. He doesn't want to talk to anyone he knows, least of all you– okay, maybe Sol Badguy tops the list and not you."

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

There is a girly scream that resounds within the house, the forest around it, the continent the place is found on, the planet itself… etc, etc...__

Yuuki's eyes were wide and _bishie_. "What was that?"

"Um, promise not to tell anyone else or make fun of Ky?"

"Yes…"

Rock coughed several times, suppressed an urge to break into laughter, and said with all the straight face he could summon: "That was Ky."

"Oh." Yuuki then did a double-take. "Oh, my."

          She had thought Millia and Venom would be hard to convince. The two hated each other's guts, drat that ZatoOne for that. Venom was a pretty nice person for an assassin and Millia wasn't bad, but because of one blind shadow guy the two always were at each other's throats. This might take awhile…

"Our world is in grave danger," she was telling them. "You have to put aside your enmity and fight together."

"We have."

"You _have_?"

Yuuki then noticed that the two assassins were holding hands.

"I think you were still in a coma back then," Millia noted. "It's us now."

"We're the latest romantic pairing now," said Venom. "What do you think?"

Yuuki's reaction was memorable.

_"_You're the _what?"_

          Admittedly, Eddy was a bit harder to convince to join. In fact, Yuuki had to threaten and beat him up to join.

"Will you come along peacefully, or do I need to have to go 'pit Yorkie' on you?"

"I do not fear you, little girl…"

"You asked for it." Yuuki took out the old _Peter Pan _book and began reading about the part where 'the boy who never grew up' lost his shadow and how Wendy stitched it back –without any anesthetic. Minutes later, Eddy was comatose from cringing in psychological pain and easily hauled away.

          Slayer was thankfully open to a civilized discussion. The downside of it was that Yuuki had to drink along with him for a while.

Or was that really a downside?

"Cheers."

"Cheers." She did, however, drink only juice.

"Why not drink wine?"

"I take the form of a ten year old girl. I often act like one, too."

"But you're really a hundred and forty or so years old, aren't you?"

"True."

"And look at Lumiere from _Kiddy Grade_. She's only thirteen, but she drinks wine already."

"Point taken."

"And there's Go-Go Yubari from _Kill Bill_. She's seventeen and goes around killing people and drives her boss around and drinks even though she's not the proper legal age in Japan to do so. She's rather like the average American teenager, at that."

"But there's Yuki Yubari, remember? She was sixteen and she didn't drink at _The Inn of Blue Leaves_ and went home instead. That's why The Bride didn't get to kill her at once."

"But Yuki never appeared in _Kill Bill."_

"There's the original script. The movie is nice, but the script is canon, Holy Writ."

"One for your side. Another round?"

"Thank you."

          Faust was, to use one word, annoying.

"WHATTA SAYKO!"

"Doctor, for the last time: Will you stop dry-humping the fire hydrant?"

"UWAAAAH! BOOYAKA BABY!"

"And stop quoting Selphie Tilmitt, or Sheo Darren will get legal on– too late for that warning."

An M1A2 Abrams main battle tank fell from the air and splattered Faust all over the ground.

"At least it's not an anvil any more," Yuuki observed with just a slight sweat drop.

          And there was Zappa and his merry band of ghosts…

"I don't suppose the name 'Egon Spengler' would ring a bell?"

"Raoh is the victory!"

"Uh-huh. Right. Who'd like original DVD copies of the '_Ring'_ trilogy?"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Woof!"

(Bloody Sword starts bobbing up and down)

"Raoh!"

"Good. Follow me."

          Potemkin was pretty easily persuaded.

"Sho Tsuzuku thinks to trample all free expression beneath his oppressive boot. That means he will forbid paintings and artists, too," Yuuki added, feeling clever with herself.

"WHAT? In the name of ZEPP President Gabriel and for the sakes of all the people who love art, I will fight Sho Tsuzuku with every ounce of my power and might!"

"…That was easy…"

          Johnny had just showed up and said he wanted to join.

"Want to join my crew as well, kid?"

"No, thank you."

"Why not? I'm far more suave and sexy and handsome than Sheo Darren, aren't I? Why not hang around me instead of that loser author?"

Yuuki gave him one long and steady look. "Millia-Venom," she said succinctly.

The Mayship girls had to stop Johnny from throwing himself into the sea and drowning himself with a big anchor that May had left behind.

          Baiken was the most suspicious of the bunch. "Why should I trust you?" the pink-haired swordswoman snapped at her.

"I gave you back your arm and your eye, didn't I?" Yuuki patiently noted.

"You killed my people! The blood of uncounted Japanese stains your hands!"

"I did not kill the Japanese people; Justice did. I don't see you too hostile to Justine, are you?"

"You created the Gears! Your creations did untold death and destruction at your bidding!"

"I do not command the Gears; Justice controlled them completely. Justice has free will. She commands them, not I."

"And so you wash your hands of my people's blood," Baiken sneered. "You pontificating Pilate."

Yuuki sighed and shook her head. "I was hoping we could talk this over pleasantly. Apparently, I was mistaken."

"Damned right." The Japanese woman drew her sword and got into her pose. "Now, let's talk about this in another way: My way."

"You will not agree to my plan because of me. My plan will fail because of me. In order for it to succeed, I must perish, is that it?" To Baiken's utter surprise, Yuuki knelt in front of her, hands held open and leaving her totally defenseless. "Kill me."

"What?"

"You still wish to avenge your people? I understand." Behind her glasses' glimmer, That Girl's blue eyes were honest and frank. "I am at fault for having created the Gears who destroyed your nation. In your mind and in mine, I killed them. It was for a good cause in the future, but it could never be morally right, never. I am in the wrong.

"Though justice is God's alone, it is however wielded by the hands of the people on Earth. I have done you wrong; justice is thus in your hands. Take it and wield it." Yuuki looked into Baiken's eyes with finality. "Please kill me. Only promise me that if I die, you and the others will stop Sho Tsuzuku."

"Baiken…" Anji said softly.

Yuuki simply knelt there and waited.

Baiken wavered, torn apart by the thoughts that revenge was at hand but that That Girl was not only apologizing, she was also offering her life as payment for a promise that might never be fulfilled. Yuuki was willing to die without a fight. She believed and _admitted _she had done much evil.

She was willing to die in order that the world may be saved.

Baiken suddenly screamed in anger and plunged her sword down–

"Baiken!"

–into the ground, where the _katana_ quivered harmlessly.

The Japanese woman grabbed Yuuki by the front of her clothes and hauled her up to her feet. That Girl did not let her eyes waver or any kind of fear to show.

"Damn you," Baiken hissed. "You killed my people and my family and took away my arm and my eye and my old peaceful life. I can never forgive you for all that!"

Yuuki did not flinch or move.

"But… but you gave me back my arm and my eye. You gave me a new life to replace the old that was burned away by fire." She looked at her husband Anji, the latter goofily grinning in relief. "You know you cannot bring my people back, but… but you are willing to die so that my surviving people and all the other people in the world will live."

The anger drained away from Baiken in a final rush, and she looked tired as she pushed Yuuki away. "Damn you," she murmured, her resolve dissolving into tears. "Damn you, Yuuki Darren. Damn you to hell…"

Anji put a reassuring hand on his wife's shoulder and told Yuuki, "We'll fight with you."

And Yuuki broke into a smile, her first honest one in a long time.

"_Arigatou__."___

                                                                                *         *         *

**The present**

           "Rather impressive," Sho Tsuzuku admitted, "Especially your work with Baiken. Was it a long-range project to really give her back her arm and eye?"

"No, it was a selfish one in the original concept," returned Yuuki coolly and honest. "In keeping with what ideas _you _have put inside my mind, I'd freely admit, but _I_ thought it up myself."

"So, what has entered your cute little head to think to stand up to me? After all," he added cruelly, "I seem to remember you broke off from your Master on your own free will before you came to _beg_ for my assistance. Why the change of heart now?"

"I resent such distortion of the facts. _You_ intruded into my life, remember? I never asked for your help. You offered it to me. I accepted your aid, but I did not beg for it. I never beg. Sheo gave me free will, but he didn't make me stupid.

"As for your question's answer, it's pretty simple." Yuuki tipped her glasses back up her nose and took on a serious expression. "It's the _Hiremeki_ Ultimate Conscience Reformation Effect."

                                                                                *         *         *

**Flashback to Chapter Seven…**

          …"We've won." Yuuki allowed herself a sigh of contentment. "I guess this is the end…"

"_Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh__!"___

To the surprise of opponents and teammates alike, Amasagawa Mai was somehow on her feet and stumbling towards That Girl. "No! I won't let our group lose again! I will protect our master whatever the cost!"

Shaking her head in exasperation, Yuuki took off her glasses again.

But Mai had come to a halt, settling into a very familiar pose with sword sheathed, the right side of her body tilted forward and right foot before her left. Her eyes were burning with determination as she somehow found in herself the strength to launch that most ultimate attack of the ultimate sword technique!

Yuuki only had enough time to murmur, "That is–" before Mai unleashed her desperate strike:

**"_AMAKAKE RYU NO HIREMEKI!!!!!!!!!!!"_**

          It was strangely not painful at all. It was as if everything slowed down for her and she could see every minute detail of the world around her and feel every tiny sensation within and without her. In a detached way, she watched Mai's sword cut through her body like a knife through butter, cleanly, swiftly, no pain or any other feeling at all.

Somehow, it seemed so disappointing.

She should have been dead. She should have been cut in half and lay on the ground, her blood watering the soil, her blue eyes lifelessly staring up at the sky. Mai's sword was a killing blade, a double-edged Western long sword. The _Hiremeki_ was the ultimate move of the _Hiten__ Mitsurugi._

For a moment, she thought she was really dead.

People who have had near-death experiences talk about having their entire life flash before them. Yuuki watched her short life rewind itself to the very beginning and play forward swiftly yet clearly. She heard her own voice talking: Happily, sadly, angrily, whatever the emotion she felt at that particular moment. It was scary yet somehow comforting to think these were the last things she would hear.

          _ "Your intuition is superb. It would have taken Ky Kiske until the game's next production sequel to figure things out."_

_"Obscure joke. Rest, perturbed Bridget, rest."_

_"To quote one of my Master's other created characters: 'The lights are on, the curtains are raised, and the act begins. It's show time!"_

_"What do you think?"_

_"They will learn to feel the fury of That Girl scorned!"_

_"I should have known buying the Death Star for a hundred bucks was a lousy deal."_

_"The way you talk, it's like you're implying something sexual."_

_"Uh, oh.__ Everyone, step back: I think I dropped my contact lens!"_

_"At least I'm not Faust."_

_"Ha! Unlike Sheo and Lone Wolf, I can spell Jam's last name right!"_

_"You don't get it, do you, Sheo? All the girls you like are imperfect and all!"_

_"Can we stop talking about your fan fiction and start talking about how we're going to launch our next move?"_

_"Hey! I resent that term!"_

_"This time… This time, I'll win!"_

_"Obscure joke. Never mind…"_

_"My Master… Sheo… we will meet again one day… soon…"_

            "Hello, Yuuki Darren. Welcome back to the world of the living."

"Who are you?" she murmured faintly.

"That's almost always the first question they all ask. The proper question to ask in your case is different. Let's see if you can guess it right."

"Am I dead?"

"Smart girl," the young woman commented with a smile. "This makes it easier."

"Am I dead?"

"The answer is, 'No'. Not quite. Not yet."

"I'm…" She searched for an appropriate word. "Disappointed…"

"You shouldn't be. By all means, you should have been dead when Mai slashed you. But luckily for you, this is the world of _The Wedding Night._ People don't die here –or, at least, they don't die that easily. You can thank Sheo for that."

"Huh?"

"Do you know how much effort he took to make sure you're all right? He hates to interfere directly into things –unlike a lot of authors I know, myself included– but in your case, Sheo didn't even think twice to save you."

"Didn't he?"

"If he did, you wouldn't be around here talking to me, would you?"

"I hurt him. I called him names and plotted behind his back."

"We all do. Human beings are such a pitiful sight at times."

"I destroyed his dreams. I showed him the harsh reality of his girls' existence. I took away his happiness and hurt him where it matters the most: His heart."

"Dreams are not always good things. What you did to him is actually a good thing. Sheo needed to understand and accept that his girls are not perfect. No one is. Better now than later– or never."

"I attacked the girls he loved. If there's anything he can't forgive, it's hurting the girls he loves."

"I know, and that was a very bad thing you did."

"He'll never forgive me."

"_Never_ is too long a time to even think of. Nobody stays angry for an eternity. Not you or me or Sheo or anyone else. Not even God."

"I was a fool."

"We all are. Foolishness is a part of human nature. When we admit we are fools, we stop becoming so."

"Then what do we become?"

"Better people. To quote another of Sheo's characters: 'We can hope, can we?'"

The strange girl turned to leave. Yuuki was feeling sleepy, but she managed to shake off her torpor and ask one final question:

"Who are you?"

The young woman turned slightly, and she thought she saw the hint of eyeglasses reflecting a tiny bit of light. She tossed something over to her, and Yuuki caught it. It was a small cute pendant, a crystal held within fine gold and bearing white wings.

"_Himegoto__."_ _Secret._

She left, but she never really left. No one ever did.

                                                                                *         *         *

**The present…**

"That mysterious girl taught me much in the short time we met and talked. I realized what I was doing was not wrong merely because I hurt people or did bad things that were against the law or society in general. I realized that what I did went against my very nature. That was why it was wrong. I was one thing, and I did something that struck at my own precepts and values, the thing that compose me.

"They all showed me how and why I was wrong. Ky would have laid his life on the line for Dizzy, and she for him. It's the same with Anji and Baiken, or Bridget and May, or Sol and Kagura, or Mai and the Box of Doom, or the Wanderer and Kirika, or Sheo and his girls. They lived for other people. All people do. Even I do.

"And when I started to hurt other people instead of living for them, I started to hurt myself.

"They saved me. I saved myself. Mai's sword broke my pretended superiority and arrogance, humbling me. That mysterious young woman showed me what was right and wrong with me, told me what I should do. I took the chance they offered and pulled myself out of the sinkhole that my life had degenerated into.

"And Sheo…" Yuuki looked up at that moment, her blue eyes determined. "Sheo gave me back my life."

"Enough is enough. Sho Tsuzuku, you are an evil that threatens this world –_my_ world. Before, I fooled myself into letting you convince me to do your dirty work, to destroy those that are actually the most important things that matter to me. But I've learned from that mistake and many others from the past. As that woman told me, I'm better for it. If not, I can always hope.

"Mistakes are beyond me. The past is beyond me. They come back to haunt me, but I will fear them no longer. What really matters are the present I live within and the future I forge today.

"I am That Girl, creation of Sheo Darren, in my turn the creator of the Gears, feared by many and loved by a few –but the love of that few is enough, and they are not as few as I once thought they were.

"I am and will always be Yuuki Darren." Her blue eyes shone, even as her heart leaped in remembering the man who gave her back her life. "Now and forever."

                                                                                *         *         *

**The bridge of the Ultrasaurus**

            The gigantic carrier Zoid was on the move now, plodding its way solidly through calm seas at its maximum cruising speed in water. Aboard, all the girls were performing system checks and bringing the weapons systems fully online, a task they hadn't done for nine chapters since the last battle for the simple reason that they didn't have any reason to do so.

Until now, that is.

"Wanderer-_san_?"

The swordsman in black broke off his conversation with Earl Osborne –the latter cheerily coaxing every bit of speed he could out of the Ultrasaurus– and turned to talk with Tessa Testarossa and Ayanami Rei. "_Hai__?"_

"Everything's up to speed," Tessa reported. "All systems are checked out at peak efficiency. Weapons are all operative and 100% ready. The Ultrasaurus is ready as it can ever be."

"And the girls?"

"Raring to go out and kick some ass, to use Dana's own words." Her brief smile was replaced by an expression of concern. "Is there any word on Sheo?"

For a moment, the Filipino adventurer looked perfectly neutral, almost like Rei. At his side, his girlfriend Yuumura Kirika seemed as troubled as her two friends. In fact, all the girls in the bridge and aboard the saurian battleship–the PA system was turned on– waited expectantly, worried that their worst fears –or their greatest hope– might pan out.

Elde Talonn, Swordsman No More and the Eternal Wanderer, broke into a smile that spoke volumes. "I think it's time that you girls should know something I've been told to keep secret for quite some time now."

                                                                                *         *         *

**The J-Ark**

            The best surprise of the day was when they finally brought to meet a most unexpected person, the last person they'd thought to find.

"Hello, May. Hi, Quatre, Sister Rosette."

The two GG fighters gaped at the sight of a certain bespectacled Filipino author who'd went missing on them seven chapters ago while in a coma, so surprised that Bridget didn't even think to complain about the running joke on him.

"Sheo!"

"I'm afraid so." Sheo Darren gestured to several comfortable chairs. "Please, do sit. You're guests here, and I do think you're tired from all the fun you had."

Both Bridget and May blushed.

"Thanks for the assist, Sister," he continued. "You've been invaluable help to me. You helped Bridget get May back, well enough that Sister Kate better not have ring the phone right now and scream her lungs out at you. I'd be very upset with her if she did. How is Azmaria-_chan_, by the way?"

"She's doing fine." Rosette beamed. "Are you inviting her, too?"

"Pending the dissolution of a certain thorn in my backside? Yes, I will."

"You're going to take out Sho Tsuzuku!" exclaimed May excitedly.

"It's been far too long since I ignored such a threat to my dimension. I should have taken care of him when he was still just a minor irritation, but I got sidetracked. I have to give Yuuki credit for such an unthought-of but devastating move. The reality of it put me out of action for quite a while.

"As you'd probably have seen, I've taken the liberty to bring in some additional help and a lot of firepower. Almost certainly –there is no certainty in life– I should be able to fix things up in the next two installments of this last chapter. Ah, thank you, Lumiere." The blue-haired girl graciously served the three guests drinks before she gracefully positioned herself beside Sheo. Bridget and May noticed this.

"Sheo, I don't remember seeing her aboard the Ultrasaurus. Who is she?"

"Ah. Friends, let me introduce Lumiere, formerly of the Galactic Organization for Trade and Tariff, now my new personal aide de camp. She's from _Kiddy Grade_. This battleship," Sheo gestured around him expansively, "Is the J-Ark, which I got from the J-Warriors in _GaoGaiGar__._ You've seen the other battleships, too, I guess. They're all crewed by the newest additions to the girls I like.

"This is a serious excursion, yes, but I think it's not too bad to hope for the best." He smiled, feeling much better now that he had learned Lone Wolf SIX did review his previous chapters; there had been problems in _fanfiction.net_ that had delayed them sending the review confirmations to him. "By the way, would anyone like lunch? _Okonomiyaki_ on the house: Ucchan makes some of the best food I've tasted."

As the three voiced their approval, the J-Ark and her formidable escorts continued onwards. ETA to the battlefield was one and a half chapters.

Would they arrive in time?

                                                                                *         *         *

**The last battlefield**

            Sho Tsuzuku began to laugh.

He was totally unmoved by Yuuki's long speech. "Impressive speech, I must agree. You have accomplished your primary task of delaying our impending battle by a good margin and using up perfectly good bandwidth space. But if you think I will simply roll over and play dead –well, Yuuki Darren, you are dead wrong.

"You think to stand in my way? Fine." He gestured with a single hand, a hand that bore a ring upon it. "Come out, my minions. Show them the power of the true darkness."

From behind the super villain emerged nine fearsome figures:

**Fibrizo** (_Slayers!)…_

**Raziel** (_Legacy of Kain)…_

**Shishio**** Makoto** (_Rurouni__ Kenshin)…_

**That shadow guy from _Shadow Skill_**_…_

**Lucia Rareglove **(Rave)_…_

**Sephiroth** (_FF8)_ bearing the reconstructed _Kamigami_ Godslayer sword…

**Ranma**** Saotome** (_Ranma__ ½)_…

But it was the last two Chapters' identities that shocked the GG fighters. They were no other than–

"Testament-_sama_!" Dizzy gasped.

"Miss Jam?" blurted Ky.

**Testament** and **Jam Kuradoberi**.

"That Girl, GG fighters." Sho Tsuzuku gestured effusively. "I would like you to meet my troubleshooters: The ones who shoot trouble in my way. Meet: **THE CHAPTER OF TEN**!"

Despite some of her companions' consternation and apprehension, Yuuki was as unimpressed with the new enemy as Sho Tsuzuku had been with her. "I see you are a _Kenshin_ fan," she did say sarcastically, "And except for the shadow guy and Ranma and Jam, you have a pretty good reason to call them the _Jupongatana_."

She gave Testament a long look, which made Ranma chuckle even as the offended party glared at them.

"Don't even think about it, punk."

"Yes, Honzo," Ranma said, before cracking up completely.

Testament just barely restrained himself from trying to decapitate the Anything-Goes martial artist. 

"They were supposed to be the Chapter of Eleven," Sho Tsuzuku said with an evil smile. "I was hoping May could be the Eleventh Chapter, but unfortunately she had failed in her battle with Bridget and so could not be accepted into my group."

"There are only nine of them here." Yuuki felt –no, she knew something was wrong. "If May was the Eleventh, then where's the Tenth Chapt–"

The only warning she had was the flash of an impossibly fast striking sword, but it was enough. Even before the battle began, one of the GG fighters fell as casualty.

"Zappa!"

Zappa looked at the hole on his side, said, "Oops, I think I'm supposed to drop dead right now," and then promptly did so. Luckily, Faust was within reach of the unfortunate Australian and caught him as he fell.

"Woah! The doctor is in!"

Even before the other fighters could turn their fury on the traitor, the latter had already released a fine grey mist that obscured him from sight, allowing him to make it to Sho Tsuzuku's side unharmed.

Dizzy and Ky gasped again. Potemkin glowered.

"Johnny." Yuuki was grim. "I should have known."

"Rather slow on the uptake, are we?" The Jellyfish pirate cleaned his _katana_ with a paper handkerchief that Sho Tsuzuku lent him. "I was expecting more out of you, Miss Yuuki."

"You appeared out of the blue, offering to help. I should have noticed something was wrong."

"Traitor!" Ky snapped angrily. "Why did you go over to Sho Tsuzuku's side?"

Johnny smirked, rather a bit like Sho Tsuzuku. "He provided me with something I've been denied the past decade," the man said, "Something none of you could ever give me."

Ky and Potemkin would have rushed at him, but Yuuki held them back with a sharp gesture. When she looked at Johnny, though, That Girl was not just miffed. She was absolutely so contemptuous, Johnny couldn't have existed in the world as far as she was concerned.

"You sold your soul and your friends and the world just to get laid, is that it? You're pathetic, Johnny."

"Sho Tsuzuku has absolutely lovely secretaries who perform a lot of services for him. Including," he gave Dizzy a knowing leer, "Special services."

(In the background, Vice and Mature, formerly of Rugal Bernstein's services but now Sho Tsuzuku's 'secretaries', giggle.)

"We haven't had sex yet, you pervert!" the half Gear snapped at him. "We saved it for our marriage and for the right time, not like you!"

Johnny actually blinked in surprise. So did everyone except Sho Tsuzuku, Yuuki, Hotaru, Rock and Ky. As for Testament and Jam, they gaped in shock.

"You mean you haven't done the cop in yet?" Johnny smacked his forehead. "What a loser."

"Compared to you," Yuuki calmly remarked, "A loser is better than a prune."

"What?" The air pirate then realized the veiled insult offered. "Why, you little–!"

"I think we've had enough talk," Sho Tsuzuku said for all of them. "The game of words and charades ends here. The game of deeds begins now."

"Indeed." Yuuki turned to Faust, who was checking out Zappa's condition. "Take care of him," she told the mad doctor, deciding to trust in the former Doctor Baldhead's rather defective sanity and even more unreliable skills to keep Zappa alive. "Don't let him die, please. We haven't featured him and S-Ko yet in _The Wedding Night_, and it would be such a shame to lose him_._"

"Roge-o, Mama Mia! I will take care of everything!" So saying, Faust took out a monster hypodermic needle. "This won't hurt a bit, I promise…"

There was no time at all, not even to wince at the thought of what Zappa would have to endure in order to survive; the cure was certainly worse than prevention. They were fourteen against nine –fifteen if Faust managed to do his thing, and sixteen if Zappa survived both getting stabbed _and_ Faust's treatment (the latter being the worse part). The difference in power levels was big enough. Their morale was shaken by the fact that three of their number had gone over to the other side.

The worst thing of all: The most powerful GG fighters were not here to help out. Without Sol Badguy and Justine Harrier to tilt the odds some, the chances that they would win were bleak.

But Yuuki had no intention of losing this final battle. Nothing was hopeless.

She'd just known that herself.

"Pick your opponents and take them out," she told her allies. "If you're done with your target, assist the nearest ally in need of help. Be careful, and don't take any unnecessary chances."

She became grim with determination. "Show them no mercy, because they will show us none."

Sho Tsuzuku turned to the Chapter of Nine. "Kill them," he said simply.

Even as he gave his curt order, That Girl raised her hand majestically, pausing everyone, calling all attention to her as the sunlight fell upon her in a magnificent display, heroic and epic and grandeur Tolkienesque all in the form of this young girl who was Yuuki Darren as the brave theme of Rohan played from the skies above.

"Arise, arise, fighters of the Guilty Gear dimension! Fell deeds awake: Fire and slaughter! Outrage shall be shaken, Fortress Block be shivered! A sword day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Up, works of Daisuke Ishiwatari! Forth now, and fear no darkness!

"Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride now, ride now! Ride, ride to ruin and the world's ending!

"Death! Death! Death! Death!"

"DEATH!" all the fighters roared in response, brandishing their weapons, their hearts and hopes afire.

Roaring forth like foam breaking to the shore, the fighters of Guilty Gear and _Garrou_came upon the Chapter of Ten and Sho Tsuzuku, fourteen strong in all. But none could overtake That Girl. A fey fury had seized her, as if the spirits of warriors past ran like wildfire in her blood, and like Oromë the Great thundering to the battlefield of the Valar when the world was young, Yuuki went forth, singing a song of war, and light came to fall on that field.

                                                                                *         *         *

            They thought themselves the last hopes of this world.

Perhaps they were, in a sense.

Perhaps they were not.

The mysterious woman watched and waited as Fate's Handmaidens wove their strands into a mighty tapestry with no equal and the world was changed once more. She smiled.

"

                                                                                *         *         *

_"Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden!_

_Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter!_

_spear__ shall be shaken, shield be splintered,_

_a__ sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!_

_Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor!"_

Theoden, **_Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King_**

**                                                                                                                                                                                 _tsuzuku___**


	16. Part 2: Sorrow

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

.

**Conceived and Written By:** Sheo Darren

.

           In the previous chapter:

           Battle lines are drawn between good and evil even as the ranks of the heroes are thinned and incomplete. The powerful Ultrasaurus and the Anti Sho Tsuzuku Alliance Task Force race towards the flashpoint, hoping to arrive before it is too late. Perhaps other heroes are hurrying as well. A hero falls before the fight can begin, struck down by a traitor's blade, and without their most powerful warriors the Guilty Gear fighters seemed doomed. But That Girl rises up to the task and with _Lord of the Rings_-style grandeur, leading the GG and SNK fighters into their fateful battle, a battle from which the world's fate will be decided, even as that mysterious woman watches....

.

**Disclaimer**

           I don't own anything here but myself, my created characters and the story itself. Word of notice: I will try to update every week or so, Friday or Saturday. Thanks for all the support.

.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**_"All Good Things Must Come To An End…"_**

**.**

**Part Two of Five: Sorrow**

.

.

**Slightly beyond the battlefie  ld**

            The latest incarnation of the Box of Doom glowered.

It and the Eternal Fighters Zero girls were watching the battle before them unfold. That Girl and her companions didn't have much of a chance to win against such powerful minions, much less against Sho Tsuzuku himself. The Box and company knew that very well, having been on the receiving end of the super villain's power all too many times before. They knew Yuuki knew that too, the latter having allied with Sho in what seemed to be a lifetime ago.

And yet she still foolishly thought to fight him.

What a waste.

"Master?"

It was Amasawa Ikumi. The vampire girl had reluctantly taken over leading the remnants of the EFZ girls after Misaki disappeared and Mai defected over to the other side. The first thing in order was to get new replacements for their lost members. Thus, the newest entrees to their team: The little girl in black sundress known only as Unknown and the final boss of the game herself, Kanna. The two new additions represented a lot of firepower, and thus the team was in battle terms stronger now than before.

But getting new members was just not enough. There was a pall hovering over the EFZ girls, an emptiness that drained away their morale and enthusiasm as surely as a vampire would its victim's blood. They just didn't have it in them anymore. The fighting spirit, the energy and eagerness, all were almost gone. Misaki's departure had been totally unexpected; Mai's defection was almost unbearable.

It was a dark moment indeed, the darkest in their lives.

"The battle has begun, Master," Ikumi reported. "That Girl and her allies are fighting Sho Tsuzuku's group. What should we do now?"

For a long while, the Box of Doom didn't speak. The girls were disturbed by their master's enforced silence.

"Master? What should we do?"

"The proper question," interjected a new voice, "Is not what the Box of Doom wants you to do. It's what _you_ think _you_ should do."

The EFZ girls all surrounded the Box of Doom protectively and faced this intruder. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"My answer to the first would be, 'Secret_'._ My answer to the second," the mysterious woman continued, "Is to help you."

"We don't need any help from other people," shot back Ikumi, "Least of all from some new insert character."

The EFZ girls all nodded and began inching their way threateningly towards the mysterious woman.

"Wait."

The Box of Doom had spoken. The EFZ girls all came to a stop.

"I may be a villain and a box, but I am not so stupid to refuse potential help from outside. Ikumi," it added, "Turn me around to face our guest."

Though the vampire girl was suspicious of this new character, she did as her Master willed her.

"Now," said the Box of Doom in as pleasant a manner as it could. "What do we have to discuss? What can you offer us?"

The mysterious woman smiled faintly. "Your pride."

                                                                                *         *         *

_"Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising_

_I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing._

_To hope's end I rode and to heart's breaking:_

_Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red nightfall!"___

.

**Eomer****,** **_Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King_**

.

            Though Ky Kiske was at the front rank of the group, she found herself beginning to lag behind a bit as if weighed down–which she was feeling so right now. Slowing down, she was thus became the first to be engaged by the Chapter of Ten.

Jam Kuradoberi decided that this blonde woman would be a proper enough foe. She'd joined Sho Tsuzuku's side specifically for one purpose: To get back Ky. Testament had hopped onto the bandwagon to get Dizzy back. But she couldn't see Ky anywhere, though her current opponent seemed to resemble him a lot. The thing was, with Ky's new girl form, Jam didn't recognize her/him at all and thought him/her as another person entirely.

A fact which honestly sucks…

Ever the gentleman (though right now he was stuck in a girl's body), Ky was leery to fight girls. Especially Jam. He still had bad memories haunting him where he saw tantalizing white that he shouldn't have seen. He was married, yes, but 'fan boy' syndrome still pursued him. Jam was a tough opponent; given her penchant for 'panty flash action', she was even more fearsome to Ky.

"Miss Jam," the knight began politely, "I do not have any wish to fight you. In fact, I will first try to convince you of the error of your ways in a peaceful and civilized–"

Jam made an insulting face at her, complete with "Pidaah!"

Ky sweat-dropped but decided to go on. "–Civilized manner. As I was saying, I would like to resolve this not through swordplay–"

Sho Tsuzuku smirked at that comment; at his side, Ranma Saotome again barely repressed a chuckle. The Frenchwoman glared evilly at the distraction before continuing.

"–but through careful and nonviolent diplomacy. In other words: Can't we talk about this over a cup of tea? I've got a lot of tea and tea cups at home, and Dizzy makes the best tea I've ever tasted–"

"You're all talk," Jam snapped angrily, cutting Ky short. "Put your mouth where your money is." So saying, she got into her Pakua fighting pose. She also 'bounced' as she did so, and Ky turned red to see that.

"Very well, then." Shaking her head, Ky drew _Furaiken_ two-handed, did her pre-battle preparations pose and got into her one-hand fighting pose. "In the name of God, I will–eeep!"

It turned out that as well as being absolutely luscious, Girl Ky was also physically weaker than her true form. She nearly dropped the Thunderseal on her own foot; it was too heavy for her current strength to lift even with both hands, much less wielding it properly in battle.

"Okay," she muttered to herself. "This might be harder than I thought."

With a shrill cry that made everyone within range cringe, Jam ran forward to attack.

Ky had three seconds to get _Furaiken_up. All she got for her efforts was what remotely sounded like a popped joint in her shoulder and finding herself sitting on her butt. _Furaiken_'s blade was half buried into the ground.

"By Kliff's beard," she murmured in dismay. Deciding that discretion is the better part of valor in her case, Ky fled for her life.

Jam would not let her target do so. "No escape!" she yelled, quoting the SVC announcer as she charged up her _chi_ power and focused it to increase her speed. "_Asanagi__ no Kokyuu_!" Then: "_Ryuu__ Jin_!"

Amazingly, it missed.

At the moment that Jam launched her attack, Ky had rather clumsily tipped over onto her right side and thus fell beneath the flaming flying side kick. As Jam flew over her, the knight got a look up into the former's skirt from beneath, turned an even deeper brighter shade of crimson despite the fact that he was a girl right now (or was it because she was really a 'he'? Confusing, _ne_?), and ran back towards _Furaiken_.

"Stand still, you! _Hyappou__ Shin Shou_!"

Fortuitously, Ky again lost her balance and tripped. The chi burst sailed over her head harmlessly while she was sprawled on the ground.

"Dammit! _Ken Roukaku_!"

Again, a miss, as Ky managed to roll out of the descending foot (and not without getting another look at something she knew she shouldn't look at). Again, Jam was livid (and did not notice she was giving Ky free 'flashes', she was so angry).

"I don't know why this is happening, but it's saving my life. Then again," Ky corrected herself as Jam cursed vehemently in Chinese and gathered up her Tension for a charged Overdrive move, "It wouldn't be too bad for a plot device savior."

"_Chou Kyaku Houou Shou!_"

One kick, then two, then four, then eight, then a whole barrage of them while the image of a flaming dragon was superimposed on them all came at Ky. The latter was luckily ready, Fortress Block solidly protecting against the Overdrive move. Not one kick got through.

Then she ran out of Tension.

"Oh, crap," Ky groaned in French.

"I've got you now!" Jam activated her IK stance and executed it. "Ten! Ga! Ten! Jou! Ga! Doku! Sen!"

But the 'Ain't I Wonderful' Destroy missed, because at that moment Ky took it inside her head to act like a real girl and suffered a five-second fainting spell, dropping limply below the first kick and lying on the ground, the safest place to be when someone was barraging away with mid-air martial arts kicks.

Screaming outrage at how her beautiful Pakua fighting technique wasn't working because her opponent was cheating somehow, Jam stomped on the very vulnerable Ky– and missed.

"AUGH!"

"She reminds me of Lucy from _Peanuts_," Ky thought as Jam blew her stack and began throwing a temper tantrum right then and there. "May's got a rival for the name Ultimate Brat…"

"Why can't I hit her?" the Chinese woman wailed as she pounded the ground with her fists like a little kid (or for an equally apt comparison, just like Xianghua in Soul Calibur). "I've fought far faster and more agile opponents before and easily hit them! Why can't I hit this girl?"

"I'm a guy!" protested Ky embarrassedly.

"That sounds like Bridget talking," said Dizzy.

"Is someone ripping me off?" grumbled Benimaru, who appeared out of nowhere.

"Someone _is_ ripping _me_ off," Xianghua rather tartly observed.

"The reason is simple, Jam." Sho Tsuzuku leered at Ky, and for good reason. "You are used to aiming at people who voluntarily dodge out of your way. But your opponent here is different. She evades by pure unpredictable chance. She does not mean to evade that way, but her body responds differently than she wants it. Thus, you cannot predict how she moves and you cannot hit her with any move you prepare."

"But how does she do it?" the Chinese waitress demanded, jumping up and down in rage, bouncing as she did so and thus drawing unexpected first blood in their battle: Ky nosebleeded.

Sho Tsuzuku was slightly interested. "This guy is married already and is stuck in a girl's body, and he still gets a fan boy reaction? What did Kliff feed this idiot when he was a kid?"

"You haven't answered my question!" Jam screeched at her erstwhile boss.

"Fine, fine." The super villain pointed at Ky's very healthy chest. "You see," he noted lasciviously, "she's a little unbalanced and top-heavy."

"Ohmygodthisissoembarassing," mumbled the badly embarrassed Ky, hugging herself and turning away in humiliation

"Don't make fun of Mister Ky!" Dizzy scolded innocently. "You should know that he's very handsome as a boy and very pretty as a girl! Plus, he's sexier than you and me and has a better chest than those girls from _Dead or Alive_!"

Ky buried her face into her hands in shame. "Kill me now. Spare me all this."

Jam stared at the blonde. "That's Ky?" she said, stupefied and feeling envious since she had fewer assets than Ky did in the latter's female form. "But– but she's a girl!"

"So? I do suppose you've sometimes wished Ky was a girl for some _yuri_ fun," noted Sho Tsuzuku, "Kaiser Ryouga II or otherwise."

Aside, Kaiser Ryouga II thinks about it. "Why not?"

Jam blushed. "It's not like that!"

"Yes, it is. Now, go finish Ky off now. Then you can have fun with him all you want, especially the kind your lurid little _hentai_ fantasies breed every now and then."

But Ky had a different look on her face now, a forceful look that gave Jam pause. "I hate to burst your bubble," the Frenchwoman said, "But I think this fight has gone too long."

"Why? I may not have any Overdrive available anymore, but you can't use _Furaiken_either. What are you going to do? Pull my hair?"

Ky sighed, shook her head, shrugged, said, "Yes," and then proceeded to grab Jam's long bound hair and tugged hard.

"OW! Leggo my hair! OUCH! You meanie! EYAOW!You're not Mister Ky, he's not this mean! OW! OW! OW! OW!"

Pretty soon, the beaten Jam was crying on the ground, her very long dark chestnut hair totally an undone wreck, untied as it was and draped over her head in a messy mass.

Dizzy had watched the spectacle with big unbelieving innocent Bambi eyes. "Wow, I didn't know Mister Ky could do that… that's a bit mean, though…"

"Pathetic, pathetic, very much the most pathetic finishing move I've ever witnessed ever since the _Alien 9_ Kumi-_chan_ strike back in Chapter 9 or 10." Sho Tsuzuku was talking to himself of course, trying to rationalize his disbelief at the outcome of the fight. "Sheo, I have just seen how your mind works, and honestly I think you are far more messed up than I am."

Being a sore loser, Jam was sobbing and bawling her heart out. "Why? Why? Mister Ky, why did you hurt me like this? Now I'll never get you back at all."

"It's because you're wrong," said Ky sternly, an answer that made Jam pause in her tantrums. "You can't win my heart because Dizzy already has it. But I admire your dedication," she added softly, "And I think that whomever new person you come to love will be a lucky man indeed, even though it is not me.

"Miss Jam, I am happy with Dizzy. Please, I want you to be happy as well. I know you will get over me one day and find a new love. I should know, especially with the kind of woman you are." She smiled charmingly, just like her old form if he ever thought to loosen up and be normal for once.

Jam blushed and looked away, but she was happy.

Ky flashed Dizzy a V for 'Victory' sign. "Great, huh? No bloodshed except my own, and not too much of that, too–eh?"

"Mister Ky!" The half-Gear girl was gesturing frantically at his back. "Behind you!"

The warning came too late. Johnny was already standing right behind Ky.

"What the–"

"You're very pretty as a girl, cop, and you've got real hot assets, too. It's too bad I never got the chance to show you some of my better moves –but if we consider Blackheart ZERO's _The Incredibly Zany GG Story_… nah, you were a guy then. But what the hell? Die."

The _katana_ came down in a stabbing thrust.

"Mister Ky!"

Five seconds later, Ky found herself unharmed and alive. That was because someone had shoved her aside to safety and had willingly taken Johnny's backstab attack in order to protect her.

It was Jam.

Sho Tsuzuku smacked his forehead yet again and grumbled, "Why are there so many people who are willing to die for their loved ones in this world? God just _had_ to create human beings as naturally _good_ people. Makes it all the more harder for me to have fun…"

Johnny jumped back, out of range of any retaliatory attack. But Ky ignored him, instead focusing her distress on Jam whom she held in her arms.

"Miss Jam! Miss Jam! Please don't die!"

She managed to open her eyes and actually smile. "Are you okay, Mister Ky?"

"Yes." The returning smile was bitter and sad. "Yes, I am, Miss Jam, and it's because to you, Miss Jam. All because to you."

Her smile grew broader. "That's nice to hear," Jam said, closing her eyes, sighing as she did. "It doesn't hurt too much, really. It doesn't hurt too much anymore."

Whether she meant the stab wound or the fact that she had forever lost her beloved Ky to another girl –perhaps the latter thought, indeed–, Jam never really did get to elaborate. Instead, she rested her head against her beloved's chest and lay very still.

A tear trickled down Ky's eye, a tear that was followed by a stream of them pouring down her cheeks as she held the lifeless Jam tightly.

Johnny was miffed that his second backstab of the day was a failure. "Damn, I should have stabbed first and talked later."

Then he caught sight of Dizzy.

                                                                                *         *         *

            Nearby, Rock Howard and the former Hotaru Futaba faced off against an equally deadly foe: Raziel, the vampire boss bad guy from _Legacy of Kain_.

"So." The malformed demon sneered at the two _Garrou_ fighters. "What do we have here? Lambs ripe for the picking? Your strong souls will satisfy my hunger for quite some time. Give up now, and I promise your deaths will not be too painful to bear."

"I don't think so," returned Rock, not feeling the least bit of fear. "I'm not going to give my soul to some look-alike of Nemesis from_ Resident Evil_!"

"I do _not_ look like Nemesis," Raziel grumbled, starting to lose his 'villain cool'.

"STAARS," Hotaru said in imitation of how the RE bio-weapon snarls out the word. "STAARS…"

(Not so far away on the J-Ark, Jill Valentine gets the shivers for no apparent reason at all.)

That did it. "Argh!" Raziel brandished his soul-destroying sword in fury. "Do you really want to tick me off? You're going the right way as it is!"

Rock got into his battle pose. "Hotaru, I'll take care of this guy. You stand by out of harm's way."

"But, Rock!"

"No buts; I don't want you to get hurt. But," he did add with a roguish smile, "If I'm getting the worse of it, you can come in and back me up."

She grinned back at him. "Okay!" said Hotaru as she gathered up Itokatsu and scooted off to a convenient distance away. Rock turned to Raziel and gestured challengingly with one hand.

"Come on, Nemesis. I don't need the Knife to beat you."

Seething with rage, Raziel slashed at him, knowing only one hit was needed to finish the battle but rashly letting his fury get the better of him (out of character, yes, but what the hell...)

"For the last time: I AM NOT NEME–"

"Gotcha! Crack Counter!"

The Crack Counter is a reversal used by Rock that isn't a fail-safe defense like the infamous family patriarch's equally infamous counters. It's quite a good move, actually. The proper way of using it is to trick opponents into attacking you while in the reversal mode. Just as Rock did.

The _Legacy of Kain_ boss angrily got up. "You will pay for this insult, puny human!"

"Don't you all say that?" challenged the blonde fighter.

Raziel attacked again and again. Again and again, Rock effortlessly countered every strike with the Crack Counter, and then when Raziel was vulnerable the young Howard followed up with either an Axe Kick or a Crack Shoot. Then he suddenly shifted gear into offense, used a Heavy Kick to set up his combo, performed a Standing Cancel, used Rage Run: Shift to teleport behind Raziel, executed the Shinkuu Nage command throw, 'braked' his attack –canceled the usual follow-up strike in order to follow up with a different move instead– and then Shine Knuckled the vampire into the wall! But that was not over yet; Rock then executed a Heavy Rising Tackle for the finisher to his powerful combo!

(Sheo Darren gave the readers a rather pleased look. "You can see that I've studied up on the move list and combo strategies for the characters, _ne_?")

"How? How is this possible?" Raziel could not believe that Rock had done such massive damage to him in just a short time. "You are not armed at all! You do not have any armor or protective gear! But how can you deflect my soul-destroying sword?"

Rock grinned. "You forget: Game physics. My Auto-Guard Counter move is invincible against any physical melee attack!"

"So… you really are your father's son… But that will not matter!" Again Raziel charged forward. Rock prepared to Crack Counter again–

Raziel disappeared.

"Eh?" Then Rock realized where teleporting opponents usually went to–

Raziel materialized behind him, grabbed him by the neck and began chocking him hard. The vampire was physically stronger than Rock; thus, his death grip could not be broken.

"I find like your lack of faith… disturbing," sneered Raziel as he raised his sword.

"Rock!"

Hotaru was coming in for the save. Rock realized his wife was in danger. "No! Hotaru, don't!"

Laughing sadistically, Raziel slashed at Hotaru with his sword. Swatted aside by the powerful blow, seemingly struck by the unholy killing sword, the blue-haired girl crumpled to the ground and didn't get up.

Rock's eyes were wide in horror at the sight of his wife lying on the ground. Was she–

"Raziel, will you stop being such an evil boss character and just kill off Rock?" Sho Tsuzuku ordered from afar. "That was how Fibrizo bought the farm: Being careless and arrogant. Do you really want to kick the bucket like he did?"

Itokatsu rushed to his mistress and nosed her frantically.

Hotaru didn't move.

Was she dead?

Something began to rage within Rock, something dark and evil…

"You have no sense of fun, Sho." But Raziel moved to do so as he was commanded, raising the soul sword to Rock's throat. "It's been fun playing with you, boy, but party time's over. Now, die–"

A hand caught the sword's blade before it could plunge into his throat. The hand should have withered away if it was a normal human one, but this was no normal hand. It was bathed in an evil mauve flame, canceling the substantial power of Raziel's sword and pushing its power back, even! Raziel felt the evil energy radiating right in front of him, from none other than–

His other hand gripped the clawed fist holding him by the throat and then squeezed with incredible force. In the first three seconds, it was merely pain. In the next three, bones cracked –no, _shattered_ audibly. Raziel screamed with the pain of his broken hand, dropping his prey, prey that had just turned into the predator–

The fist that held the sword shoved it aside and snapped forward into Raziel's stomach, piercing the tough demon skin exterior and burying itself into muscle and vital organs, the lethal lavender fire consuming the weakest portions in its advance. Again Raziel screamed and dropped his sword, subjected as he was to pain he'd never though he'd know aside from inflicting it upon other people, pain from a power that now reached out to take him and destroy him utterly–

"No!"

The vampire burst into flame and disintegrated into dust. His slayer stood right in the middle of that conflagration but was unhurt, protected as he was by his reawakened aura of evil, the aura that was symbolized by the wings of amethyst _chi_ that sprung from his back and the lilac flames in his hands and eyes.

Sho Tsuzuku clapped his hands.

"Impressive, Mister Howard. I'd never have thought that you'd be able to defeat Raziel so easily. Your evil power is interesting, indeed, far more interesting and promising than Raziel. Would you care to give me a personal demonstration?"

His dark heritage manifested fully, his gentle nature now aflame with the fires of evil, Rock Howard turned to Sho Tsuzuku with menacing eyes. "I'll destroy you."

                                                                                *         *         *

There is no need, actually, to describe how the battle between Makoto Shishio and Anji Mito ended, since the author has a bias against Anji and doesn't care much for depicting the latter's fighting style. Stopping Fans, yes; Outrage weapons yes; but they're still fans.

Anyway, Shishio beat Anji up. Laughing hoarsely like he does in the English dub, he throws the poor Japanese politician guy back to his wife and says, "The strong shall live and the weak shall die. Remember that."

"Shameless self-promotion," coldly returns Baiken. "If you think I'm going to say any crap about the strong protecting the weak, forget it."

Smiling calculatingly, Shishio waited.

Exhaling angrily and muttering as she did so, her every word dripping with sarcasm, Baiken declaimed: "You're wrong. The strong should protect the weak. Now I've said it, can we fight?"

"Baiken Seishino, the wandering swordswoman." Shishio considered his opponent. "You are one of the strong. Why defend the weak?"

"You seem to forget. One: I'm a _Kenshin_ clone. Two: I already told you, I wasn't going to say the Kenshin lines, but you bug me so much."

"Convincing you, then, is pointless." Shishio got into his pose. "It is a shame I have to kill you. You could have been my new right hand, especially after Soujiro left my group."

(Cut scene to show Soujiro Seta cheerfully greeting the girls on the J-Ark with his trademark 'happy face'. He happened to be one of Sheo Darren's favorite characters –one of the very few men privileged thus to be aboard the Anti Sho Tsuzuku Alliance Task Force.)

So saying, Shishio lashed out with a blow that would have decapitated Baiken–

**COUNTER!**

"What?" The _hitokiri_ could not believe it. This mere woman had parried his attack so easily with her sword!

"I don't suppose Sho Tsuzuku told you about me, did he?" Baiken decided a small sneer was in order. "I'm the local queen of Guard Cancel in Guilty Gear."

"You cannot defeat me! You are not _Battousai_ the Slasher!"

"I don't need to beat you," she said with finality, "Though I could, if I tried. But I'm not going to even try."

"Die!"

**COUNTER! COUNTER! COUNTER!**

The two sword fighters were a blur of motion. Shishio was striking at Baiken with insanely fast and powerful blows. But the latter was faster still, and with two arms now to wield two swords at the same time, her defense was impenetrable (and no, it was not Fortress Blocking, just Auto-Guard Counters).

Shishio realized the new battle style Baiken had adopted, fighting simultaneously with two swords that she was. "You've perfected Aoshi Shinamori's technique: The twin sword defense formation!"

"So nice of you to notice at last, Makoto. Send my regards to Jinnai and the others."

"Argh! I am not that loser from _El Hazard_!"

**COUNTER!**

"Go, Baiken, go, go, go!" cheered Anji as his wife kicked ass. "Moral support, people!" The _kawaii_ cheerleading team the Japanese had founded in Lone Wolf SIX's _GG versus SNK_ appeared.

**Kula:** "Give me a **B!"**

**May Lee:** "Give me an **A**!"

**January: **"Give me an **I**!"

**February: **"Give me a **K**!"

**March: **"Give me an **E**!"****

**June: **"Give me an **N**!

**Anji****: **"What have you got?"

**All Girls:** "**BAIKEN**!" (jump into the air enthusiastically) "YAY!"

"Argh!" Shishio screamed at them. "Shut up! And why are the Jellyfish girls there, too?"

**COUNTER!**

"Dammit! I was asking a serious question!"

**COUNTER!**

Fourteen minutes later…

**COUNTER!**

"Why won't you attack?" Shishio screamed in fury. "You cannot beat me without attacking at all!"

"I did set out to beat you," Baiken said finally, smiling confidently as she did. "Anji!"

"Timer!" The now-recovered Japanese politician was holding a stopwatch. "Five… four... three…"

"Oh, damn..."

**COUNTER!**

"…Will you stop that! I'm about to die, and all you can do is–"

**COUNTER!**

"ARGH! I HATE YOU!"

"… Two… one!" Anji hit the Start/Stop button. "Fifteen minutes!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Shishio dramatically turned into flame and then ash. He'd fought too long and thus overheated himself, and without sweat glands to cool his body down, he burned up.

Baiken sheathed both of her swords, slugged a shot of her _sake_ and did a thumb's down with her fist and grinned while Anji and company did their 'cheerleader' routine.

"No match."

                                                                                *         *         *

            Millia and Venom watched as Eddy and the shadow guy from _Shadow Skill_ (Shadow guy from _Shadow Skill_: "My name is Darkness, stupid author! What the–where did that anvil come from?") beat each other up. They weren't helping their supposed ally, not one whit.

"Don't you think we should help Zato-_sama_out a bit?"

"Nah. Why waste the time and effort? Besides, Eddy and the shadow guy are equally matched."

"I suppose so." After a few moments of watching the entire area get Shadow Drilled, Venom said, "What was the rationale of waiting this out again?"

"Well, if Eddy wins, it's a win for our group. That parasite will also have been weakened so much that we can dispatch of him with ease. Ditto with the shadow guy (Darkness: "Damn it! My name is Darkness! Darkness!") from _Shadow Skill_ if he wins: It's a win-win situation for _us_, not for _them_."

"And here I thought Johnny was the only backstabber in the group."

"Hey, if it means anything, we can cheer for Eddy."

"Let me see Anji and Baiken. Maybe they can lend us their cheerleading team."

"Good idea."

                                                                                *         *         *

           Sephiroth smiled grimly as he advanced on Faust and Zappa. Flanking him was 'Dark Bring' Lucia Rareglove. Both their swords were out, the weapons radiating evil energy in such amounts that they seemed to compete with each other to prove which weapon was more powerful an evil. The weapons themselves were bad enough; the wielders were, if anything, worse.

Before them was-Nou, the sultry rocker minion of That Girl, posed defensively though defense was the last thing on their minds. Behind her was Faust, so busy tending to the badly-wounded Zappa that he hadn't even noticed the threat approaching.

"Well, now," Sephiroth commented, the deadly lengths of _Masamune_ and _Kamigami_ out of their sheaths. "It seems that the great I-Nou stands all alone now."

"Where's your partner Raven?" coldly noted Lucia, his own sword bared. "He seems to have left you on a one night stand, has he?"

Indeed, Raven was very surprised when the time portal had just appeared below him, meaning that his past self Axl Lowe had caught up to this time. Now he was presumably in the future or past, depending where –actually, _when_ the tempestuous Time-Space vortex brought him. I-Nou was stuck here all alone against two foes, each as powerful as or more powerful than her. She might have managed with Raven present, despite all her assurances that she didn't need her colleague's help.

Now, it seems, she had to eat her own words.

"We do feel a bit generous, though." Sephiroth went so far as to sheath _Kamigami_ and _Masamune__._ Though Lucia was still armed, the gesture on the ex-Soldier's part was unmistakable. "We've suffered casualties to our ranks, and there are thus slots open for new members. Care to join?"

"You'd be properly compensated," Lucia added. "Your own power will be increased. Sho Tsuzuku isn't an exacting master like That Girl. You can't even dream of the things he'd give you if you join us."

"All you have to do," Sephiroth said with an evil but companionable leer, "Is to kill them."

He pointed at Faust and Zappa.

"What do you say, I-Nou?" Lucia asked. "Will you accept our offer?"

She smiled slightly, sexily.

"I've something to say to you guys." Her green cat-eyes lighted up merrily, and she puckered her lips out of contempt. "You know and serve not out of loyalty, but out of fear. You serve Sho Tsuzuku because you fear his power, because he can destroy you and you would stand not a chance. But it's different with me.

"That Girl can destroy me easily whenever she wants. She gave me my powers, after all. She is not as strong as Sho Tsuzuku, but she is far stronger than I am. If she wants, she will destroy me with hardly an effort or thought. That thought alone is enough to make me serve her out of fear for myself.

"But I serve her not because she can destroy me if she wants to. I serve her not because I fear her."

I-Nou smiled foxily. "I serve her because I want to."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I meant, Sephiroth dearie." She put a hand to her hips, the better to accentuate her female curves and present her determination at hand. "When she was still just a normal human kid –a brilliant kid, yes, genius even; but still a kid– I was on her staff as the human woman I-Nou Megumi. I came to her not because she promised anything, but because she asked for help in her work. She wanted the best minds in the business; she got me and Frederick. She recruited us, but it was up to us to accept the offers.

"I accepted out of my own free will.

"It's interesting how Sheo Darren gave free will to That Girl, and in turn she allowed us to use it. I worked for her with my own free will. Frederick did, even though later he regretted it and thought to derail the project. That foolish Brit boy did. Raven did. Even her greatest creation, Justice, had free will to determine the course of action to take.

"You, on the other hand, don't.

"So don't try to be coy and talk like changing loyalty's a walk in the park." She tossed her head up to clear away an errant strand of hair plastered on her forehead, smiling. "It isn't. With Yuuki, I can do almost anything I want to do. With Sho Tsuzuku, you are forced to do only what he wants, nothing much else. It's obvious where a free-spirited gal like me would go."

Then emulating the former Frederick Mercury's most favorite expression –his Taunt, in fact– I-Nou flicked them the finger.

When Sephiroth got angry, he actually became outwardly less menacing but all the more deadly. "So," the nonhuman said smoothly and with an evil smile. "That is your answer, then. Lucia?"

The Dark Bring Overdrive nodded and got into his battle pose, even as his fellow Chapter drew both his swords out. The resultant release of evil energy sent a wave of dark purple/black _chi_ I-nou's way. She batted it aside and got into her pose as well, giving Marlene one experimental strum even as with a cocky grin she got ready to rock and roll big time.

"Now, now, Mister Zappa," Faust was saying to his groaning patient, still unaware that I-Nou would appreciate any help coming from him, "Stay still for a second while I get the bandages… where's my gauze? I knew I put it here somewhere…"

"Though I fight alone," I-Nou began. "Though I fight alone, I won't fight alone…"

"And none fight alone," finished a new voice.

Surprised, I-Nou and Sephiroth and Lucia looked to the speaker.

It was Hotsuma, the ninja warrior from _Shinobi_, his very long red scarf flying in the wind, _kunai_ throwing knives strapped to forearms sheaths, his feet balancing perfectly like all good ninjas do on the most convenient tall structure in the locality: Faust's paperbag.

"Why is it that I feel that something's up?" the mad doctor inquired to himself, not noticing that his head was being used as a floor. "Oh, well," he shrugged before he returned to tending Zappa.

"The lady I-Nou need not fight alone. I, Hotsuma, will fight alongside her, if she does not mind." The ninja hero considered something inside his head, and then he added, "Or even if she does."

The 'lady' in question broke into a smile. "I don't. Welcome to the party, boy."

"Yes, indeed. I believe the proper American term is, 'Let's rock and roll?"

"You got it."

"Indeed. Let's rock and roll."

They attacked.

                                                                                *         *         *

             "Sol-_kun_?" asked the girl.

"Yeah?" the guy in question gruffly snapped back.

"Are we headed in the right direction?"

"Yeah."

"Okay… I think we're lost, though…"

"Then why did you ask me for my opinion?"

"It's good to know Sol-_kun_ has a positive outlook on life, even if we might be lost."

"What a totally out-of-character observation, kid."

"Hey, Sol," noted one of their companions.

"What is it, Austin?" the one named Sol grumbled.

"Maybe the kid is right. Maybe we are lost."

"Stone Cold makes sense, pal," volunteered a second guy.

"Did I ask for your opinion, Rock?" Sol growled at him.

"The People's Champ's opinion will not be denied."

"All for America and freedom and root beer!" cheered a third guy.

"Shut up, Mister America," said everyone except the kid.

"You cannot destroy America because America is a dream," the lone dissenter said.

"If you don't stop ranting like an idiot, 'Mister America'…" Sol threatened.

"What? America has no fear!"

"Kagura?"

"_Hai__?_ _Nani_, Sol-_kun?_"

"Say Mister America's real identity out loud. Please," he added in a sarcastic tone.

"I'll behave now," said Mister America penitently.

"I feel like censored Great Teacher Onizuka himself leading a bunch of censoredkindergarteners to the censored museum on the censored block. What a censored life…"

"Hey, Chief! Leopaldon and I found a shortcut! Right, Leo, huh?"

"Woof."

"What kind of life do I lead? I get a cute girl who turns into a pig, three wrestlers, a Brit hippie and the GG Isuka boss to command. Sounds easy?" The guy lit up his last Marlboro with his unusual sword. "Don't bet the censored ranch on it, bub…"

"You want a piece of me, bub?" asked a new gruff voice, even as his indestructible adamantium claws came out of his knuckles.

The first guy –the one called Sol– forced a groan away, even as the girl named Kagura swatted away his last cigarette and began a sermon on his health, the three wrestlers began comparing bragging rights with each other, the Brit came loping back on a big Saint Bernard Gear woofing with delight, and the last addition to their group was mentioning Cajuns and rookies while slicing and dicing the air with his claws.

"I'm getting too old for this, Sheo Darren or otherwise…"

                                                                                *         *         *

            At the same time in a different place:

"Can't you get more speed out of this nag?"

"Don't call Pegasus a nag! Say sorry, or else–"

"Or else what?"

"Or else you can find another aerial ride!"

"Um, girls? I was just thinking…"

"Says who?"

"Says me!"

"Girls?"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Make me!"

Cloud Strife sighed deeply, gathered his breath, and then yelled at the top of his lungs: "HEY!"

His exclamation caught the attention of his bickering companions, breaking up their emerging quarrel very effectively. "Eh?" Athena Asamiya and Justine Harrier asked with innocent demeanors and with rather googly eyes. "_Nani__, _Cloud?" both girls fairly sang. "What is it?"

The blonde Soldier sighed again. It had been barely an hour since these same girls had tag-teamed together effectively to defeat him, barely an hour since they came close to death and thus realized their strengths together and formed a friendship. Yet here they were, arguing with each other over trivial matters not worth much consideration, ready to start a fight with each other in the most inappropriate of locations: On top of a winged horse flying at ten thousand feet altitude at a forward airspeed of perhaps a hundred knots and with him smack in the literal middle of it all.

If this was _karma_ for his evil deeds, then God and the three Norns must have a very funny sense of humor.

(When Skuld sneezed, Belldandy and Urd began teasing her just who was thinking of their kid sister: "Sheo, perhaps?")

("_Onee-chan_!")

"If you don't mind," Cloud began, making sure that all attention was focused on him, "Can we remember who the enemy is? Last time we talked about this, neither of you was on the villain list. So don't tear at each others' throats yet, please; save that for whatever Sho Tsuzuku decides to lob at us. Okay?"

"Yes, Cloud." The ready and cute contriteness with which they answered him troubled Cloud for a reason he couldn't fathom at once. For the same reason, the way they looked at him so deeply when they thought he wasn't looking was also troubling to him.

"Now we've remembered what we're here for, let's go do it, shall we?" Cloud tried on a handsome grin, which got answering smiles from Athena and Justine. "Okay, girls?"

"_Hai__, _Cloud! _Ikuyo__!_"

"That's better!" Cloud looked forward into the horizon, straining already to fight their enemy, and so did not notice the happy looks aimed his way, looks of adoration…

                                                                                *         *         *

The meteor streaked through the coldness of the exosphere, the border between sky and space. It was no true meteor from the unimaginably far reaches of the cosmos, though. It was man-made; rather, it was artificial, made by a being that was man-made.

Now, even as they approached their destination rapidly, the being and his guardian slept in the way of their kind, dreamless sleep, soulless as they were in the human sense but having heart and soul that their creators could never have dreamed of exist.

They were real, very real indeed.

Now they slept, even as they rode closer and closer to ruin and world's ending– or the dawning of a new day.

                                                                                *         *         *

           Potemkin was the most powerful slave soldier in the ZEPP ranks, renowned for his unmatchable strength and impenetrable armor-like endurance. Slayer was the founder of the Assassins Guild, a powerful centuries old vampire lord. Both fighters were fearsome indeed, not just any person to dismiss, certainly not anyone to pick a fight with if you're in the right state of mind.

But they simply were no match at all for the Anything Goes martial artist who had –by way of so many fan fiction stories written by people who were bored or insane or addicted to _Ranma__ ½_ or all of the above– had picked up such a diverse array of powers ranging from Dragonball Z to Apocalypse from _X-Men_ to God Himself with a flowing beard.

"Was that all?" Ranma complained as he dusted his hands from having just dusted Potemkin and Slayer. "I thought there'd be more challenge into it?"

The chill laughter emanating from behind his back made Ranma turn around in slight surprise. Almost immediately he was assailed by a rapidly expanding aura of cold evil that was in this story second only to Sho Tsuzuku, an aura of evil that had taken its sweet time to reappear after Athena and Justine and the Wanderer kicked its ass.

"Ah," hissed a malevolently raspy voice. "It is the great Ranma Saotome himself at last. I don't suppose you remember me, do you?"

Ranma glared at the intruder. "You…"

"Hey." The voice seemed to take offense at the glare. "That's my trademark look. I'm the only one who can glare around here like that, boy."

"Who –or what– the hells are you?"

"I? _I_?" The voice rose in pitch and volume. "_I_ am the terror that rocks in the night! _I_ am the bedbug that lurks in your bed! _I_ am the bad smell that lingers in your socks! _I_ am the cockroach that just won't die!"

"That's _my_ fan fiction," Ranma protested. "And why are you ripping off Darkwing Duck?"

"_I_ am the reviewer who flames this fan fiction! _I_ was the ultimate bad guy–"

There was a brief moment of pause, as the speaker warily looked around it, just to make sure _the_ Badguy wasn't around to take offense. But Sol didn't appear.

"Anyway: _I_ was the ultimate bad guy on the block –until your boss came in," it concluded menacingly. "He dared to take away my rightful place as the antagonist in this story! For that he –and all of you– will pay.

"For I am the BOX OF DOOM! FEAR ME!"

"So you're the Box of Doom," scoffed Ranma. "You don't seem too impressive. Last time I heard, you were a TV with cable option. But what's this?" The pig-tailed fighter gave the ragged-looking carton box a condescending look and laughed. "A 'degrade'? I've never heard of people weakening themselves intentionally, but then again you're just a box. Correction; you're just trash."

Then, to the Nerida fighter's astonishment, the box smiled.

"Let us see," it said evilly, "Let us see who the 'real trash' is, shall we?"

                                                                                *         *         *

The blue-haired half-gear girl stood very still at first, but then began shaking with unmitigated fury at the senseless killing of her husband's old girlfriend by the very man she had once trusted and loved as a surrogate father. "_Omae__,"_ she murmured softly yet forcibly, even as the bangs of her hair hid her eyes for the moment and masked her growing anger. _"Omae… omae… omae…"_

Johnny began to backtrack, rightfully afraid.

Even as her wings spread to their full span and the encircling red runes of her aura slowly came into focus, Dizzy's eyes snapped open, fully crimson and burning. "_Omae__ wo korosu!"___

She screamed, and as she screamed her slumbering power awakened and rose to levels far beyond her normal capability. Bidden by his mistress' rage, Necro materialized, grinning hideously as he drew his bow and opened fire with dozens of destructive flame arrow bolts that arched towards Johnny in ballistic paths, death from above.

Suddenly, a shield appeared around the hapless Chapter, stopping the Necro's Anger attack easily. The source was a little boy who had an exceptionally evil look in his face and eyes and power that came second only to Sho Tsuzuku's and Ranma's.

"Your power is great, little girl," the Mazaku Lord Fibrizo said, "And I can feel the evil anger within you. Why don't you join us instead, Justice's True Child? Under my tutelage and Sho Tsuzuku's influence, your power can reach limits all the others –even Sheo Darren– can merely dream of?"

But Dizzy wasn't listening anymore. Seeing Jam die in Ky's arms by the hands of Johnny had awakened the slumbering command Gear nature within her. That nature overwhelmed her now, stripping away her humanity as surely as her civilian garb transformed into her 'dominatrix' battle costume, and once again everyone knew why this gentle girl was once the most wanted creature on the planet. She was an angel, yes, but she was also a devil, and this devil nature of hers raged now for all it was worth.

The battle that followed was, in _Magic: The Gathering_ terms, an exchange of cheese. The two combatants basically threw all sorts of projectiles moves at each other, blasting the landscape between and around them apart. The ground shook with the intensity of the firefight, as increasing levels of power was expended in an effort to destroy, the surroundings paying for it dearly.

Even as Fibrizo sent all of his power in one cataclysmic X-damage finisher, Dizzy had Necro open up with her own super annihilation move: Gamma Ray. The two attacks slammed into each other and detonated into a monster fireball of death and destruction that broke the ground asunder and rushed to take those who had created it into its destructive mass.

Dizzy flinched away from the inferno approaching her, even though there was no means of escaping. Her Tension was down to zero and she was exhausted. She watched the flames envelop Fibrizo first, the _Slayers!_ villain virtually consumed by the blast. Then it was her turn.

Or perhaps not…

"Testament-_sama_!"

The former Gear was standing before Dizzy. He had thrown himself into the line of fire to protect her, using all of his energy to Fortress Block. But the blast had been so powerful that it had overcome the Faultless Defense. Testament had thus used his own humanized body to protect Dizzy from any further harm.

Again Sho Tsuzuku smacked himself on the forehead. "Why, why, why is it that so many people have such high moral fiber and romantic loyalty? Why?"

Testament turned to give Dizzy one last smile, said, "I'm sorry," and then fell down and didn't get back up again.

"Testament-_sama_!"

"How… sweet…"

Though now looking like a Shishio Makoto clone thanks to getting caught in the fireball from earlier, Fibrizo was still alive. "Sacrificing oneself for… a person you love…" His eyes glittered insanely. "You are… sickening… Now… you can join him… in Hell…"

He aimed his hand at Dizzy and Testament, cackling maniacally as he prepared one last fireball–

"_Kyaaa__–"_

–but then Fibrizo gasped, staggered, and clutched at his chest–

"No… impossible!"

–through which a familiar hand was pierced through Fibrizo's heart.

"Miss Zio!"

It was indeed Testament's assistant succubus who yanked her hand free of its gory sheath. She had executed her master's Instant Kill to save Dizzy. Fibrizo somehow managed to stay on his feet for a few seconds, gurgled something unintelligible, blood on his mouth, and then fell down dead.

For the third time straight, Sho Tsuzuku smacked himself. "Just because you happen to be a cheesy super powerful boss bad guy who can wipe out the good guys with one hit," he complained, "Does it mean you can forget the attribute called 'intelligence'? Like looking behind your back every once in a while or using a little bit of 'common sense'?"

Zio hovered to Testament's side, sadness on her beautiful face even as the normally hawkish Necro fell silent in respect and love for her. She caressed the now-peaceful ex-Gear's face softly with her other hand, smiled forlornly and kissed him on the forehead.

"Be at peace, Master," she said softly to Testament. "Be at peace at last."

                                                                                *         *         *

_We heard of the horns in the hills ringing,_

_the__ swords shining in the South-kingdom._

_Steeds went striding to the Stoningland_

_as__ wind in the morning. War was kindled._

_There Théoden fell, Thengling mighty,_

_to__ his golden halls and green pastures_

_in__ the Northern fields never returning,_

_high__ lord of the host. Harding and Guthláf_

_Dúnhere__ and Déorwine, doughty Grimbold,_

_Herefara__ and Herubrand, Horn and Fastred,_

_fought__ and fell there in a far country:_

_in__ the Mounds of Mundburg under mould they lie_

_with__ their league-fellows, lords of Gondor._

_Neither Hirluin the Fair to the hills by the sea,_

_nor__ Forlong the old to the flowering vales_

_ever__, to Arnach, to his own country_

_returned__ in triumph; nor the tall bowmen,_

_Derufin__ and Duilin, to their dark waters,_

_meres__ of Morthond under mountain-shadows._

_Death in the morning and at day's ending_

_lords__ took and lowly. Long now they sleep_

_under__ grass in Gondor by the __Great__River__._

_Grey now as tears, gleaming silver,_

_red__ then it rolled, roaring water:_

_foam__ dyed with blood flamed at sunset;_

_as__ beacons mountains burned at evening;_

_red__ fell the dew in Rammas Echor._

.

            "Grey now as tears, gleaming silver, red then it rolled, roaring water: foam dyed with blood flamed at sunset; as beacons mountains burned at evening; red fell the dew in Rammas Echor."

The mysterious woman sat still for a long while, alone now, a hand upon her heart, unheard save perhaps for another heart that beats to her own rhythm. She watches the tragedies and the unnecessary death and the senseless violence and is saddened by it all.

For she, too, had once been like them.

She murmurs a name, murmurs it softly, a beckons, a summons, hurried and hasted.

She murmurs his name.

"Sheo."

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Hold on," Sheo Darren murmured, even as around him the battleship J-Ark and its escorts accelerated even more, pushing the envelope with every bit of energy that could be cranked out of their thrusters and engines; even as not quite so far away, his old titanic Ultrasaurus carrier Zoid lumbered onto dry ground now, the original set of his girls and Earl Osborne hurrying under the command of the Wanderer; even as _the_ Badguy and his new flame and company was fast approaching the field of tragedy and glory; even as a Soldier and two girls also sought to arrive in time to help; even as the one being who stood out amongst his kindred flew like the wind; even as an enemy decides to be heroic for once; even as brave fighters fall, taking with them their enemies, and new fighters arrive to succor those who remain; even as the mysterious woman watched and waited for the world to turn once more and calls for him from the bottom of her anguished heart.

"Hold on just a while longer. The beacons of war are lit. You call for aid."

His eyes glint.

"And Sheo Darren will answer."

**                                                                                                                              _Itutuloy_…**


	17. Part 3: Tears

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

.

**Conceived and Written By:** Sheo Darren

.

**Disclaimers**

           I don't own anything here but myself, my created characters and the story itself. I would also like to announce that I should be able to update this fan fiction every weekend, usually on late evening on Friday or early morning Saturday (to my American audience, it's Friday morning or Friday evening).

           Some important dates of note: March 28 is my graduation from high school. March 31 is my birthday.

           Oh, and if Miss Akira (Taka Ichiko's real-life girlfriend) is reading this, please, send me your honest opinions, either as a review or an independent e-mail. I'm very open to suggestions and discussions.

           Now go read and enjoy and review.

.

.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**_"All Good Things Must Come To An End…"_**

.

**Part Three of Five: Tears**

.

.

_From dark Dunharrow in the dim morning_

_with__ thane and captain rode Thengel's son:_

_to__ Edoras he came, the ancient halls_

_of__ the Mark wardens mist enshrouded;_

_golden__ timbers were in gloom mantled._

_Farewell he bade to his free people,_

_hearth__ and high seat, and the hallowed places,_

_where__ long he had feasted ere the light faded._

_Forth rode the king, fear behind him,_

_fate__ before him. Fealty kept he;_

_oaths__ he had taken, all fulfilled them._

_Forth__ rode Théoden. Five nights and days_

_east__ and onward rode the Eorlingas_

_through__ Folde and Fenmarch and the Firienwood,_

_six__ thousand spears to Sunlending,_

_Mundburg__ the mighty under Mindolluin,_

_Sea kings' city in the South kingdom_

_foe__ beleaguered, fire encircled._

_Doom drove them on. Darkness took them,_

_Horse and horseman; hoofbeats afar_

_sank__ into silence: so the songs tell us._

.

           The mysterious woman fell silent once more, as the fortunes of battle now turned against the heroes. It was always like that, always that the forces of good seemed small and pitiful compared to the forces of evil. Victory could only be won with great sacrifice. And in the end, victory did not seem such a great prize in comparison to all that had been lost in order for the war to be won.

Jam Kuradoberi. Testament. Hotaru Howard.

And yet, for all they were worth, they would still fight on.

"Doom drove them on. Darkness took them, horse and horseman; hoofbeats afar sank into silence: so the songs tell us.

"So the songs tell us," she murmured quietly, "But there are things even the bards cannot sing of, and men will only know of them when the times is aught. Not before; only after.

"For we must live through them, and even if we die in them," came the sad hope of it all, "We will live within them forever, the glory and memories wrought ours forever.

"Forever…"

                                                                                *         *         *

             "Elde, where are you going?"

"I'm going on ahead. We're taking too long. Yuuki might be overwhelmed already." Even as the Swordsman No More spoke hurriedly, they could all see the 'small' shapes in the sky, the foremost of the battleships that led the Anti Sho Tsuzuku Fleet. Already Earl Osborne was receiving transmissions from the lead warship, the _Eternal_ with Lux Clyne in command, coordinating their moves for the coming battle. There was no time to lose.

"Then let me come with you."

"No. It's safer here. Believe me, where I'm going is too dangerous even for someone like Yuuki or me or even Sheo himself. I can't afford to risk your life there."

"But–"

"No 'buts'. Chloe," he said all of a sudden, turning to the girl who was his self appointed rival when it came to Kirika. "Please protect Kirika for me. Don't let any harm come to her."

"_Hai__."_ Even though she hated him for taking Noir away from her, Chloe knew the young man cared for Kirika immensely. "I swear."

And then Kirika tightly hugged the youth who was once Elde Talonn. "Come back safe, Elde," she murmured, knowing she could not help this time or even accompany her beloved, trusting in him and his power to keep himself safe. "Come back to me safe and sound. And I love you."

He held her hands softly and turned to kiss her forehead. "I will," the Wanderer promised with a smile that well might be his last. "And I love you, too."

Then he reluctantly stepped away from his fiancée as the Wings of Eternity flared to life and he was gone in a storm of white feathers.

Closing her eyes, hands clasped tight together even as Chloe put a reassuring hand over her shoulder, Kirika prayed it be true.

                                                                                *         *         *

           Suffused with the evil power of his heritage, Rock slowly stormed towards Sho Tsuzuku, murder in his eyes, the flames of evil his weapon of revenge.

Behind him were the ashes of Raziel, whom he had killed just a few moments ago, insignificant and forgotten.

To the side was the unmoving form of his beloved wife Hotaru, dead at Raziel's hands, Itokatsu the ferret bewailing its mistress' abrupt departure into whatever afterlife awaited. She seemed so peaceful at death, so still, the delicate nature of life proven by the almost effortless way she had passed away, not even time enough to breathe her last.

A tiny part of Rock's heart wished that it would be a happy place for her, indeed, unlike this world she had so recently walked.

If only that was true.If only it was someone else's blade rather than Raziel's.

Hotaru was not just dead; she was forever gone. There was no spirit to find a way home; Raziel's sword devoured souls as wolves would sheep. Once a person's soul was gone, the person herself was gone as well.

He remembered the first time they met. They were opponents then in the so called 'King of Fighters Maximum Mayhem' tourney held by Kain R. Heinlein. Rock had come to prove himself a real man and so shed the chains of unhappy fate that bound him to his 'deceased' father Geese; Hotaru sought out her missing brother Gato, a man tormented by his heritage just as Rock was. Though Rock defeated Hotaru, there were no hard feelings at all between the two of them. In fact, they became friends in a fashion, and Hotaru later helped Terry to save Rock from turning into a wretched being just like his father Geese Howard. Thus, they fell in love and married, and the rest was history recorded in the earlier portions of this fan fiction.__

But now Hotaru, his lamb, his beloved, his darling, was dead. There was no way she could come back or be brought back. No way at all.

If he had to, he would burn everything away he had and cherished just to get her back. He would sacrifice his dreams, his person, even his life. He'd rather die than live alone without her. He'd been living alone for so long that it is perhaps the only thing he fears.

But now was no time for grief. Now was not the time for softness, not for love and care that his father had so callously dismissed, not for the memories of delirious happiness he had with Hotaru.

Now was the time for vengeance.

Sho Tsuzuku smirked and gestured haughtily at rock. "Have at thee, boy."

Somehow his father's image was superimposed upon this heartless bastard. The flames of anger within Rock's heart blazed into a veritable firestorm at that imagery, and his aura without raged like wildfire.

"I will destroy you."

"Come on, boy. Try it."

Rock howled in fury and attacked.

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Let us see," the Box of Doom said evilly, smiling as it did so, "Let us see who the 'real trash' is, shall we?"

A wave of pure evil energy leapt from the Box, creating a half mile wide bubble that surrounded it and its opponent Ranma Saotome. Then from behind it emerged seven girls, seven cute but powerful girls, all loyal and raring to fight for their Master to prove their loyalty.

"Ikumi. Nayuki. Shiori. Kaori. Sayuri. Unknown. Kanna." The Box of Doom seethed with cold amusement. "Destroy Ranma Saotome."

"Utterly, Master?" Ikumi asked coolly.

The smile of evil came again upon the cardboard box's painted face. "Yes," it said. "Utterly."

"Bring it on," Ranma said as he got into his pose.

He nearly regretted saying that.

He was outnumbered seven to one. He was fighting seven opponents whose combined powers were pretty formidable enough, even compared to his. He was facing attacks that he couldn't believe actually existed: Colorful plastic scissors and safety knives made out of ice and the Ultimate Keroppi Plushie Strike, anyone?

Worst of all, he was fighting _girls._

And you know that in the Ranma universe, _any_ and _all_ girls can hand Ranma's ass to him without breaking a sweat.

"But this is Sheo Darren's fan fiction set in_ Guilty Gear_!"

"Has Sho failed to inform you of my special power?" The Box of Doom laughed. "I can create a small field around me that conforms to whatever reality I wish it to be. I've deployed the field already around us. Guess what dimension I used? _YOURS,_ of course!"

"I shall not lose to you!" Ranma unleashed a _souma_ burst that sent the EFZ girls reeling back.

"Ikumi." The Box of Doom sounded very pleased. "Pull the team back. I myself will personally handle this fool."

"Yes, Master." The EFZ girls moved to do its bidding, leaving the Box on its own to face the powered up Ranma.

"What can a box like you do to me?"

"Nothing. But," it added, "My true form can."

Thus saying so, the Box of Doom fell apart to reveal smoke and fire and brimstone and–

"What the hell? True form?"

A form rose out of the tattered cardboard sheets, a form tall and menacing. It had long slick greasy hair and pale deathly skin and a tight leather outfit with D rings and boss handles and a handsome face that made all the EFZ girls giggle in dreamy admiration. It held a customized quadruple electric guitar in its hands, the same one that Michaelangelo the heavy metal guitarist used, the one with four necks and four sets of strings. And when it spoke, it was in a synthesized, raspy, pitched voice that heavy metal and rocker fanatics would recognize as one of the best in the business, albeit one of the weirdest as well.

"This is my true form, Ranma. Gaze upon it and mark it well. It is the last thing you will see before you die."

"You're–"

"No longer the Box of Doom," said the sinister figure as it strummed experimentally on one of the string sets, grinning insanely as it did so. "I AM THE GOD OF HEAVY METAL! I AM **PLAPLA_VENGEANCE **(a.k.a **Plave**for convenience)! NOW: FEAR ME!"

_Chibi_ angel wings appeared at Plave' back, and then lines traced themselves towards Ranma, highlighting him as weapons targeting reticules would while Warning: Danger signs were appearing out of nowhere. Plave grinned and hit his quad guitar's strings hard, yelling: "QUAD KAIGYAKU HOMEOSTASIS!"

Waves of musical notes streamed towards Ranma. The martial artist though to block– but Plave' attack, basically EX I Nou's Gamma Ray Overdrive, could not be stopped by a normal block. Ranma was overwhelmed by the attack and nearly floored.

"_Kisama__…"_ The Anything Goes fighter struggled to stay on his feet, bloodied and battered as he was by that single blast.

"Interesting," said the Box of Doom/Plave with a touch of malice. "You're as resilient as ever versus a real male threat. It appears I have to rinse and repeat."

In a matter of moments, Plave had turned Ranma's situation into desperate. The Box of Doom's final form began unleashing attacks coming from all kinds of rocker people: Freaky_ Furikuri_ alien rocker (Haruko Haruhara/sledgehammer guitar strike); anti-alien Section Chief rocker (Oji the Section Chief/mega laser); space opera rocker (Basara/VF-19 Kai missile strike); real-life Gothic rocker (Rob Zombie/turn target into bat and chew it up real good). Ranma was literally bounced all across the landscape, developing intimate contact with Mother Earth via so many hammer blows to the ground and flying in the sky courtesy big explosions.

But he was still standing, and then Ranma began to laugh. "So, a true challenge to me has finally risen. It has been a long time since I fought a serious opponent. Now: Feel the power of God-Ranma!"

"What?" Then Plave and the EFZ girls stared as Ranma rapidly began to take on size and presence and power, rising up and far above them.

                                                                                *         *         *

            Millia and Venom fell back in alarm as the mass of blackness that was entirely of shadow rose far above their heads. "I think," the excessively handsome senior Assassin said in what was probably 'Understatement of the Year', "That we are in trouble."

"I'd agree." Then they both had to jump for their lives.

In a move they could never have imagined possible, Darkness had merged himself completely with Eddie, forming a new Shadow being whose powers were a combination of _Guilty Gear_ parasite and _Shadow Skill _villain. Now useless, Zato's body had been carelessly cast aside by the new creation. Venom made mental note to get his former Master's corpse and give it a proper funeral.

But right now, they had a bigger problem to consider.

Darkness/Eddie molded its fluid shadow-mass to form a hydra-like beast with a dozen huge serpentine heads and fangs as long as a man's arm. Hissing, the ebony monstrosity came straight at them.

                                                                                *         *         *

            His cruel laughter rung within I-Nou's mind even as every other part of her was numb with damage, bleeding and pained by injuries too many and deep to shrug off.

Lucia was simply too powerful. The handsome but cruel Dark Bring was in the fullness of his power, at his sadistic worst. He switched sword identities easily, making his tactics unpredictable, and his attacks were overwhelmingly destructive. I-Nou had put up as good a fight as she could, but even possessing powers as That Girl had given her, she wasn't enough.

It was even worse. Lucia was a brutal person who enjoyed humiliating his opponents and making them suffer in immense pain. Each blow was meant not only to injure, but to insult, to make his victims suffer every waking moment.

Badly injured, unable to continue fighting, I-Nou slumped to the ground.

_Forgive me, Mistress Yuuki… I have failed…_

Helpless, she could only watch as Lucia approached, almost able to feel the malevolent intent he had in store for her. He grasped her chin firmly and hauled her partway up, bringing her face almost up to his own. There was a sadistic leer in his eyes, taking pleasure in her broken state.

"I wonder," asked Lucia most cruelly, "I wonder how failure tastes?"

So saying, he bent his head down to kiss I-Nou full upon her crushed lips.

She wanted to scream, then, but she couldn't. Her voice tightened up within her. Inside her mind I-Nou felt as if a wall stood between her and her body. She couldn't make herself move. She couldn't even scream. She could only suffer in silence.

It drove her mad. She railed and thrashed and threw herself at the wall, pummeling it, bleeding. Again and again and again, she hurled her broken body upon the barrier, but slumped at last at the footing of her opponent –her own inability–, defeated.

_Power…_

_I need more power…_

_._

            _ "You have a Voice." _Yuuki's words came to mind then, clinical, precise. _"Your power's _source_ is your Voice. Your power _is in_ your Voice. Your power _is_ your Voice. Use your Voice. Feel it. Sing. Sing out your feelings, your emotions, your mind, anything. It is power when sung, your Voice._

_"But beware: It is, after all, the Voice of a deadly siren. It is the Voice of a slumbering banshee…_

_"It is the Voice of a monster…"_

She sang. It was not a song as all knew it, not a song with words and lyrics. It was a song that ran purely on Voice. Voice was Song. Song was Sound. Sound was her. The song was her Voice. She was her Voice.

She sang.

The wall shattered.

.

            The darkly wild light that flared to life in her emerald cat-eyes was the first indication to Lucia that the fight was not yet over.

As with many warnings, it came too late.

According to mythology, banshees are undead specters of elven females who had turned to evil by curse or choice. They are among the most fearsome of the undead because of their deadly keen –a magical amplification of their voice that slays all mortals who hear it– and their powerful evil nature.

The first mind-rending wail shattered the ground all around them for perhaps fifty meters. A stunned Lucia, not expecting any attempt of a counterattack or even the slightest idea of it, was hurled aside by waves so powerful that they almost seemed solid material, a sledgehammer blow delivered by sound alone. Around him, plants withered and small animals died.

Again she screamed her murderous keening cry, epitome of all the pain she felt and wished to share. Again she lashed out, her voice serving as weapon and life, smashing Lucia repeatedly, a killing weapon. Already her wounds had rapidly healed, not a trace of a scar at all, no reminder that she had been so close to death only seconds ago.

Marlene was aside, forgotten, impotent, unneeded.

Her mistress had found a far more powerful weapon and was now awakening it, preparing to use it to the utmost.

Wiping away the blood from a small cut on his lip, Lucia's eyes were despite his self dancing with anticipation. _This might be fun,_ the Dark Bring thought gleefully as he brought his sword up and let his evil power surge out once more. _This is more fun this way…_

.

            Sephiroth was a deadly foe, unbelievably fast, _Masamune_ his offensive weapon while he parried with _Kamigami__._ Hotsuma knew well the seven-foot long _katana_'s special nature to cut through any solid material– such as his scarf, shortened by a length after it missed him but collected something else in payment.

The two feet or so of scarlet silk fluttered weakly where it lay on the ground. In a gesture of contempt, Sephiroth pinned it to the ground with _Masamune_. "You're slow, human scum," taunted the Jenova super soldier a small ball of flame gathered in one hand. "Is that the best you could do? Let me turn the heat up: Fire Materia!"

Hotsuma kept moving. To answer the taunt was to delay. To delay was to invite death. Elemental Materia blasts shook the ground with power, but only illusions perished, decoys serving their purpose effectively: The real ninja always ahead of his doom by a few steps. Only a few steps, but they were enough… barely.

"What happened to the great ninja Hotsuma? Cloud Strife or even that Chipp Zanuff character would have posed a better foe for me than you, fool." The flames backlit Sephiroth's tall frame eerily, green Mako eyes glowing in a sinister way. "Are you ready to die now?"

"Your arrogance precedes you." Hotsuma was not affected at all by the show of force. "But the true warrior relies not on arrogance, but on quiet reputation backed by skill."

"Then show me your skill." It was clear the superhuman had no respect for him, a vulnerable moment of egotism that was exactly what the ninja was waiting for: An opening. "Let us see if there is credence to the legend!"

"As you wish." Saying so, Hotsuma disappeared.

Despite himself, Sephiroth blinked. That proved to be his downfall.

At the precise moment that he blinked and let his guard down for just one second, Hotsuma –fast as thought, keen as the edge of his weapon, the true definition of a ninja master: Fast, unseen and deadly– attacked. That single second was enough for a flurry of lethal slashes, expertly delivered one after the other from different directions, the demon sword _Akujiki_keen and unmatchable. Then Hotsuma reappeared a dozen feet behind his foe, his dark blade slowly sliding back into its sealing home.

The world hung still for a moment.

With a slight tinkle of metal, Hotsuma decisively sheathed _Akujiki_.

Shuddering as blood sprayed from his fatal cuts, Sephiroth fell on one knee. Hotsuma was turning back to finish him off when he heard the first killing howl that was his ally's darkest incarnation.

Behind him was laughter of a most evil nature.

.

Dark I-Nou didn't notice or worry or pay any attention to Hotsuma's surprised reaction. She didn't care anymore. She was losing herself in her Voice. All of her kind did. It was her first time to unleash, and she knew no sort of control over herself, thought of no discipline to regulate her Voice. She lived on her Voice and let it out and lived it out fully, screw the consequences whatever they may be.

She liked it.

A Banshee, a Siren, a creation that lived and died and killed with her Voice.

Dark I-Nou sang her song of death.

.

"Do you really think a mere ninja can defeat me?" Back on his feet, Sephiroth was laughing despite his extensive –supposedly fatal– injuries. At his hand, a Materia Orb glowed fiercely. "I am above your pathetic race! Let me demonstrate how!"

The Materia Orb flared, bathing him in its curing field. The deep wounds disappeared, healed completely. Again he laughed.

"Now, let me show you what I can do!" Another field of power appeared, this time green and radiating Mako energy from which emerged a host of Jenova spawn, hideous mutations created by Shinra Corp's genetics experiments with ancient technology and DNA, murderous monsters that fed upon human flesh and misery. They all swarmed towards Hotsuma.

The ninja hit the first half-dozen or so with precisely placed _kunai_ darts that buried themselves in vulnerable eyes or throats. But the life-urge within the monstrosities was strong, overriding normally lethal or incapacitating injuries, driving them on to kill and destroy. _Akujiki_ cut through their flesh easily, but they pressed forwards, forcing Hotsuma into a slow retreat that would be his destruction.

This battle was hopeless, indeed.

                                                                                *         *         *

            "SHINE KNUCKLE!"

Without absolutely any semblance of effort at all, Sho Tsuzuku halted the Overdrive attack using only one hand. Then he batted Rock away with a careless swat that nevertheless sent the _Garrou_ fighter flying a good twenty feet.

The blonde fighter landed on his feet and stopped his backward motion only barely. Ignoring the pain the sledgehammer like blow dealt him, he surged forward again, launching repeated combos. Sho Tsuzuku effortlessly defeated each and every attack, smashing Rock back again and again.

"No!" His angry words were all the more ironic, having been spoken by Raziel only a quarter of an hour ago. "This is impossible!"

"Your dark power is impressive, boy, even more powerful than Raziel's." Sho Tsuzuku smirked. "But you still have a lot to learn."

"Damn you!" But hiRock'ss next attack was blunted and turned aside, just like all the others.

"I assume that the truth of blondes being stupid is true, but you push the upper limit, at that. Your girlfriend died for a fool," the villain cruelly added insult to injury, "A wasted death, indeed."

"Shut up!"

"Don't it realize it, Rock? It wasn't Raziel who killed her."

"Shut up!"

"It was _you_. _You_ killed her, Rock. _You_ killed Hotaru."

Suddenly Rock couldn't control himself anymore. An inhuman howl tore from his chest, the power surging wildly through him, flaring out from his body and igniting all things around him. Whatever remained of his sanity and consciousness and conscience were drowned in the overcoming waves of rage. _Kill, kill, kill, kill,_ urged the power. _Kill._

His eyes burned purple.

_Kill…_

"Rock!"

Someone was clinging to him, desperate, frightened. Rock was slowing down, and in anger he pushed away at the interloper while he kept his gaze fixed squarely on Sho Tsuzuku's smirking mug. He couldn't let anything distract him from his ultimate goal. He couldn't stop. He couldn't falter. His anger drove him on. His power kept him going. To stop was failure. To fail was to die.

Whoever it was ignored his arm and tightened hold of him, ignoring the blazing aura of evil that coated him, ignoring the pain and the injury she sustained, only praying she could reach the person she loved before it was too late–

"Rock! Rock!"

His name, she was calling his name. Her voice was familiar; impossible but familiar. He had to look, despite all his training and battle fury, because a tiny part of Rock Howard recognized that voice and that name. He looked, and his burning heart suddenly went cold.

It was Hotaru.

_That can't be…_

_"Yamete,_ Rock… _Onegai__, yamete…_"

_She's dead... Hotaru's dead… I saw her die…_

"Rock!"

_I killed her…_

"How?" The word was faint on his lips, disbelief marring his handsome face. "How can this be?"

"The power, Rock… it's consuming you." Her beautiful blue eyes were filled with fear for his sake. "It's destroying you even as it strengthens you. Let it go, Rock. Let it go."

"My power… the only thing to defeat…"

"No, Rock. Your power cannot defeat Sho Tsuzuku. A greater doom awaits him than yours. Your power will never destroy him; it will only destroy you. And me."

"I…" He didn't know what truth was and what was lie. "I killed you…"

Her grip was warm and firm and all too real; her heart beat strongly beneath his hand. This was no ghost, no undead spirit or restless soul. Hotaru was alive.

"I'm alive. I'm alive because of you."

He began to cry, and though his father would have laughed at the sight he did not care.

"Let it go, Rock. Let it go."

His fury dying away in a rush that left him breathless and without strength, the dark flames limning him dispelled at last, Rock suddenly sagged to the ground. Hotaru caught him as he fell, just as she had done years before when she had saved him from falling into the darkness. Just as she had done so now, again, and just as she would do for him however many times he would fall in the future.

She loved him so.

"At last. At last…"

"Not again." Greatly exasperated by the scene, Sho Tsuzuku could almost plead with Heaven, he was that annoyed. "I've had it with the idea that 'love will conquer all'. Why can't I appear in a fan fiction where such a silly notion is dismissed and where the couples just get to the hot wicked sex part? I've got a lot to fix in this world when I rule it at last, starting with these two..."

"I would not think so, Sho Tsuzuku."

The super villain broke off his rant. Though it wasn't the voice he was expecting, Sho Tsuzuku was slightly wary. "You…"

The man smirked in a very familiar manner; indeed, Sho Tsuzuku had copied that patented smirk, refining it into the ultimate sneer. "Indeed. After fighting Terry for what feels like eternity in Lone Wolf SIX's Abyss, I think a change in opponents is in order."

Beside him, the dark haired girl in a dark blue version of his fighting costume didn't even sigh as she sometimes did. Misaki Howard had indeed learned a lot from her adoptive father, as he had learned a lot from her as well.

It was Geese Howard and Misaki.

                                                                                *         *         *

            _"Walang himala…"_

That was what came into Plave's mind, a quote taken from a famous local actress' most memorable movie. "There is no such thing as a miracle."

The Nerima fighter swelled into Godhood, towering above Plave and the EFZ girls in the way Tokyo Tower dominates the Japanese skyline. His power could not be measured: It was infinitesimal.**__**

"_Kami-sama__!"_ Ikumi was in real fear as she instinctively recoiled away from that presence, holiness being lethal to vampires. Her reaction was most ironic: _My God!_

_"No,"_ the voice of the mysterious woman spoke within her mind and the mind of her companions. _"He is not God. He merely takes on a so-called 'godhood', an influx of power so immense that he begins to appear as if he is God, so powerful he becomes. But he is not God. None can become God, not him or Sho Tsuzuku. Not even Sheo Darren."_

"Then how do we beat him?" Plave snapped. "Tell me!"

The woman was silent, offering no answer.

"I'll take that as, 'I have no freakin' idea', should I?"

Before Plave could add another smartass comment, Ranma stepped on the rocker boss and ground him into the rock and soil with one giant toe. Lightning sprung from his hands, scattering the EFZ girls easily.

"**_I AM RANMA SAOTOME!"_ **thundered a voice great as mountains and deep as seas, a voice resonating with power.** _"MY WILL BE DONE!"_**

                                                                                *         *         *

             "Sephiroth!"

Everyone glanced upwards as something flew over them very fast– and someone fell down from it, heading straight for them, yelling a familiar battle cry as he swung an equally familiar sword. The sunlight from the person's back blinded them, making a counterattack or a parry impossible. The gigantic eight-foot long three-inch wide sword, its huge blade solidified Materia energy, disintegrated the Jenova spawn with a single blow of might and magic.

Cloud Strife hauled the Materia Blade with one hand up in preparation for his next blow. A grim smile was on his youthful face, and he glowed with newfound strength and purpose, not at all like the broken and helpless individual Sho Tsuzuku had shown the Chapter of Ten only a few days ago. It seemed as if Cloud had found something that profoundly changed him, freeing him from the self inflicted bonds he had laid upon himself in his guilty and sorrow, reborn in glory as the Phoenix rises from the ashes of its own funeral pyre.

"Cloud Strife." Sephiroth's face twisted with hate, his green Mako eyes glowing angrily. "I thought you were dead."

"I was." He rested the back of his weapon on his shoulder, smiling confidently and with reason to do so. "Until two girls helped show me I was still alive– and should live accordingly as I should: Soldier, hero, and Swordsman. Right, girls?" Cloud called out.

"_Yatte__ yaruze!"_

"_Ikimasu__!"_

Athena Asamiya and Justine Harrier landed separately but simultaneously, flanking him in an unrehearsed but clever maneuver. Both girls had contrasting dress: Athena wore her bright red two piece/headband/boots _SVC Chaos_ boss costume, her shining short sword and shield at the ready; Justine was in a dark blue leotard with black highlights and short pants, her red hair tied up with a big bow and black fighting gloves on her hand. Already brimming with their own perky enthusiasm, they were further infected by their friend's confidence and seemed ready to go take on the whole world.

"It's time to take a stand," Cloud said firmly. "Girls," he added, "Back up Miss I-Nou. She'll need your help."

"But, Cloud!" They were obviously disappointed and worried; they'd rather fight alongside him, it was clear.

He gave them a gentle smile, one that they recognized was copied from the Wanderer. "Please," he said, and that request did it. Athena and Justine reluctantly but faithfully did so, heading towards Lucia Rareglove and Dark I-Nou.

"Which just leaves you and me," Sephiroth said to Cloud, his anticipation evident, _Kamigami_and _Masamune_ drawn.

The blonde Soldier was on one knee, the Materia Blade held before him, as if he was praying. Beside him, Hotsuma stood in silent respect even as he kept an eye on Sephiroth, who was arrogant enough to give them a few moments to ponder over their deaths– not knowing that it was life in their hearts that flowed bright.

"Aeris," he murmured almost imperceptibly, taking strength and courage from the name and the memories of her that lived vibrantly in his heart as though she was alive. "Aeris. Aeris. Aeris…"

And indeed she was, if only in his memories and in his heart, and he knew that somewhere out there, Aeris was alive and waited for him in a time for the future. That mysterious woman had said so.

And it was enough for now.

His eyes alight with battle, he advanced, the memories of Aeris in his heart accompanying him as surely as Hotsuma did.

She would live and fight in him, with him, for him.

Aeris Gainsborough would fight with Cloud Strife.

                                                                                *         *         *

Geese Howard placed himself squarely between his son and Sho Tsuzuku. "I would not think so, Sho Tsuzuku."

"Geese!" Hotaru and Rock were stupefied. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your lives, what else?" The Most Powerful Man In The World laughed coarsely. "You were impressive enough earlier, Rock, but you do not have to be a villain to be powerful. Only I can be evil and powerful in the family. You take more after your mother as it is. Stay with Hotaru; I will handle this."

"Finally developed a father persona, eh, Geese?" Sho Tsuzuku had had enough of people stepping in to help other people. "You think to challenge me as well?" The super villain launched a massive beam of energy that incinerated everything before it.

But Geese had a counter ready for action: "Double Reppuken!"

Compared to the energy beam, the Double Reppuken was quite small and certainly had much less firepower. But, to Sho Tsuzuku's surprise, the first Reppuken stopped his attack cold. And that was when the second Reppuken follow up smacked dab into him.

Sho Tsuzuku frowned as the front of his costume was smudged. "This begins to be annoying." He began to launch more and more huge projectiles. However, Geese merely stepped up using Double Reppukens to counter the attacks coming his way.

"You countered my super powerful beams with Double Reppukens? How can you do that?"

Geese laughed. "You forget: Game physics. My Double Reppuken can counter any kind of projectile Overdrive!"

"You really are your son's father…"

Thus, Sho Tsuzuku picked up a random fan boy and threw him at Geese–

"Predictable!_ Shinkuu Nage!_"

–and the fan boy was promptly mauled by the ultimate command throw.

"Useless," Geese gloated as he flung the broken punk aside.

"Not really. That was not an attack, but a probe." Sho Tsuzuku got into his battle pose, said, "I see your weakness now," and then attacked.

Geese made ready to counter the new attack. But it happened to be the one kind of attack he could not properly defend against, being a boss character and thus having one glaring little weakness that even newbie gamers could take advantage of.

"Sweep!"

Sho Tsuzuku used a Sweep attack to knock Geese off his feet and put him squarely on his back. Then the super villain waited until Geese got up and then swept him again… and again… and again… Then he picked the hapless fighter up, created a tall building out of nowhere, went up to the highest floor–

"Why, you son of a–"

–And dropped Geese from there. Then he took the elevator down and came back to gloat over the badly broken Geese, the latter all but defeated by the only attack that could really hurt or kill him: A drop from a multi story building.

"You're… more evil… than I… ever was…"

"Thank you. I consider that the highest form of compliment, coming from you as it did. And now," Sho Tsuzuku raised his hand and created a big ball of destructive force that would incinerate Geese with one hit. "Prepare to die for real, Geese Howard."

But the two adults had forgotten one thing –or rather, one person.

Her adoptive father in mortal danger –he had never been any kind of father to his own son (not eve an bad one, at that), but with her influence Geese had been somewhat reformed–, forcing herself to move faster than she had ever done before, Misaki Howard darted beneath Sho Tsuzuku, grabbed the front of the very surprised villain's clothes and hurled him into the air with all her might. Then, the former minion of the Box of Doom gathered all of her Tension and executed the Overdrive she copied from Geese, an attack which the latter had improved vastly in their training together:

"RAGING FORCE!"

When the dust cleared, Sho Tsuzuku was nowhere in sight. Gasping for breath and drained by her exertions, Misaki nevertheless turned to aid her 'father' first. "Mister Howard, are you okay?"

"Hardly," the man coughed, "Since he did throw me down a building, a sure way to permanently damage me."

"_Gomene__,_ I wasn't able to help you at once." Misaki choked back tears. "I was a bad daughter, I think… Worse than Rock, even."

"Heh. Little girl, you should not shed tears for the man who was once the most evil in the world." Geese actually grinned despite his pain and patted his adopted daughter gently on the head. "I'm the most powerful man in the world, remember? I am Geese Howard."

"And the name I've taken is Misaki Howard, remember?"

"Perhaps it is not _too_ wrong," he allowed with the same cocky grin, "To call me 'Dad' instead of Mister Howard? Eh, little girl?"

"Sure," Misaki agreed, wiping back her tears and smiling. "If you call me Misaki instead of 'little girl', that is."

"Deal. Misaki."

"Yes, Dad."

"Ah, the newfound love of a father and a daughter," an evil voice commented, jolting the duo from their tender moment. "All that is needed to complete the sweetness of this cloying moment are the tremulous playing of viols and a shower of flower petals."

Unharmed and very much alive and evil, Sho Tsuzuku smirked at the father adopted daughter pair. "Your sweetness is, to quote the late Fibrizo, sickening. Especially considering Geese was once the most feared villain in the world– until _I_ came along."

Misaki got up and triggered her Instant Kill mode. "I'm not going to let you hurt my Dad!" She charged forward to finish off the arrogant villain: "DEADLY RAVE!"

Sho Tsuzuku let her come in before he let himself fall on the ground.

The Deadly Rave _missed_.

"Impossible!_"_ Misaki couldn't recover from the shock of the moment, even as her body began to waver due to exhaustion and using her IK.

"You forget," Sho Tsuzuku said in a mockery of Geese and Rock from earlier. "Game physics. You cannot attack an opponent down on the ground when KOF rules are in place."

"But this is a Guilty Gear fan fiction!"

"Yes, yes, but I really preferred the SVC Chaos settings, so I fiddled with the system a bit."

"You cheater!" she protested

"Ah, have you observed that just now? I'd have thought you were smarter than that."

Then Geese was back up again despite his injuries, gritting his teeth as he put himself in front of Misaki, shielding her from Sho Tsuzuku. "Misaki, escape. I'll hold him off so you can escape."

"But–!"

"Go! You must live, you and my son!" He could see that Hotaru was already moving the unconscious Rock away. "While you two live, I live as well! Now, flee!"

"_Shigau__!_" Misaki planted herself beside him, immovable. "I won't leave you!"

"Foolish girl," he breathed, but Geese was pleased with such loyalty. "Very well, then. We stand together."

"Are you ready?" So saying, Sho Tsuzuku prepared to deliver the finishing blow.

"Enough."

                                                                                *         *         *

           As the last of the effects of his Teleport faded away in the form of feathers of light drifting to the ground, the Wanderer found out firsthand how bleak the situation was. Only a few of the Guilty Gear fighters were still fighting. Jam and Testament were dead. Ky and Dizzy were borne down by their grief. I-Nou had gone berserk. Hotsuma was hard-pressed by Sephiroth. Hotaru was badly injured, and Rock was worse off. Geese was crippled and Misaki was tired. Fortunately Cloud, Athena and Justine had arrived, but Sol and company were still not here.

Several of the Chapters had been defeated. But the most powerful of them were still up and about, and the battle seemed in general to favor them now. Sephiroth and Lucia were powerhouses. Darkness/Eddie swept through the area like the _Exxon Valdez_ oil spill. And Ranma had taken the term 'God Mode' literally, transforming himself into a deity with corresponding powers.

_Just how do you kill a virtual god?_

The worst thing was that there was no sign of Yuuki Darren.

It was the lack of warning that served as a warning clearer than any other. If he had been any lesser warrior, perhaps the attack would have been unnoticed until too late. But the Wanderer was no mere Filipino youth decked up in a cool costume, but the Swordsman No More. _Hiryu_parried the incredibly fast blade that would have disemboweled her master even as he coolly regarded his attacker with such a neutral expression that would have been a hard one to beat in a poker match. There was no stress and no pressure on him at all, his mood observantly cool and unshakeable calm. It was a 'mission face', taught to him the hard way by his predecessor who herself played a complex game to test his worthiness to become what he was now.

"Damn." The traitor had a false smile as he spoke, but he was clearly able to admire excellent sword skills when he saw them. "You're pretty good with that sword."

"Johnny-_san_." Dark black eyes were faintly filled with regret but not the slightest bit of surprise, as the Wanderer asked rhetorically, "Not you, too?"

"I'm afraid so, kid. Now, I've never met you, but you seem to know me pretty well by the looks of it."

"My _sensei_ and May would be greatly disappointed to learn of that."

The enigmatic comment piqued Johnny's interest, enough to make him back off a bit and consider this newcomer. The Jellyfish Pirate had seen this young man appear out of nowhere, recognizing the latter from the wings of light Sho Tsuzuku had warned him that one of Sheo Darren's creations possessed. His backstab routine had been as perfectly planned and executed.

But this boy –he seemed only twenty or so, quite young in Johnny's reckoning– had been aware of him from the start, it seemed. He had let the attack come in to make a point: There would be no more easy pickings in this particular battlefield, not with him around to even the score.

"Do I know you," Johnny tried his charm in order to bring this formidable opponent into a more relaxed state, one easier to kill him in, "Or are you messing me up?"

"Neither, though I do know of you. May I ask a question?"

"Shoot."

Without any aplomb, the Wanderer asked: "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"

When Johnny blinked and kept silent versus that question, the swordsman in black decided to continue: "You were a good guy. Your father was killed by Gears, but you kept no anger for them. You even took care of a half-Gear: Dizzy. You adopted May and all the Jellyfish girls and taught them as best as you can, gave them a father figure and a life to live. But now you've thrown it all away.

"I don't believe it's just because of sex." There was genuine sadness in his voice, compassion for a lost soul. Johnny was, after all, not wholly evil like the Box of Doom. The pirate was in a fashion a Swordsman, too, one who defended the right. "You've grown tired and disappointed. I know that feeling. The very same thing happened to me once before. I was just barely able to pull myself out of it, but thanks to the people I love, I saved myself. You have many such people, but you chose not to ask for their help.

"I pity you, Johnny-_san_. I really do.

"Let me help you. I can talk to the others, ask them to forgive you. It'll be hard for all of us, but we'll manage." The Wanderer held his weaponless arms out wide in a gesture of peace. "Please. At least, we can try."

For a moment, it seemed like the reasonable plea would work. Then, Johnny dismissed the offer with a careless wave of his arm and a toss of his head.

"I don't need your pity. You try being good all your life," he told the idealistic warrior, "And then life screws you up totally, and then come back here and tell me with a straight face that you'd continue being good. Try that first before you pontificate to me. This world kills ideals like yours, and it kills idealists like you as easily.

"I'm no hero. I can't protect or save anyone. Neither can you. So stop being a hero," Johnny snapped acidly. "Heroes die in the end, and their girls are left to cry over their graves as the world burns down around them. Remember that, Mister Hero."

The expression of personal hurt and sadness in the younger man's face told him how much his remark had hit home. The young man who had once been Elde Talonn, Swordsman, remembered a girl he had loved from so long a time ago it seemed to him, when Kirika had been only whispers in the wind. A girl named Hitomi Barrens, a girl he promised to love and protect with his life. A promise he had failed.

For the sad reality the Wanderer must face, his nature and power and curse as the eternal journeyman on the road that was life, was to live beyond all others, bound to the world firmly as protector and traveler– and as prisoner.

He would live on forever, but watch all those he love die and leave him all alone.

_I can't die. All others die in the end, every one of them. But I can't. I will live on forever as all those I love slip away from me into death's embrace. Just like Hitomi. Just as Kirika and Takane-sensei and all the others I love will be._

He ignored the grey mist that cloaked him now, ignored the golden coins that came his way and bounced off his clothes, ignored Johnny closing in, a Level 10 Mist Finer Overdrive in the works. He knew it was all for naught, after all.

He could not die.

Above him, a meteor flared.

                                                                                *         *         *

            It was the sensors that woke him up, an 'alarm clock' in the sense, telling him that he had arrived at his destination. Now was the time.

**SYSTEM CHECK.**** SYSTEMS ALL GREEN. CHECKS COMPLETE. NAV SYSTEM ON. DROP ZONE VECTOR CONFIRMED. SHELL UP. BRAKING THRUSTERS ENGAGED. SHELL IMPACT IN FIVE AND COUNTING.**

In the words of _Medal of Honor: Allied Assault_...

"PREPARE FOR LANDING!"

The impact threw up a massive cloud of debris into the air and all around it. Steam roiled from the meteor, egg shaped and outright man-made, which had all the looks of a spaceship drop pod, heat sinks steaming from the atmospheric reentry.

And then the armored ablative shields peeled away like so many flower petals, the thick metal shell falling away to reveal–

Seated upon his throne as a majestic king would, the blonde man was very still. On his shoulder was a little robot girl the size of a human hand with pink hair and dressed in a genie. They seemed both asleep, they didn't even move–or breathed.

His costume was very familiar, the white and blue robes he wore and the slender sword at his side clearly belonging to only one person left alive: Ky Kiske.

But Ky was in girl form and cradling Jam a distance away, _Furaiken_forgotten at her knees. If that was Ky, then who was this guy who looked like him/her except for the–

**SYSTEM ON.******

LED eyes suddenly lighted up with a crimson red glare, and then they all noticed the blue green armored skin and the steam that escaped from release vents, and heard the creaky sounds of joints that hadn't moved for some time, taking a moment for the lubricating oil to smoothen the jerky movements into almost human proportions. The being who looked like Ky stood up, and then his chair folded up and retracted into his back, and an armored panel closed, sealing him completely, ready now for battle.

It was Robo Ky.

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Enough."

Yuuki Darren looked mildly annoyed and a bit worked out. Her arrival was in the nick of time, too. The pendant around her neck was pressed against its mistress' chest, the jewel stilled for now, asleep.

"Ah, Yuuki." Ever genial for a guy who was just about to obliterate two people from the face of the world, Sho Tsuzuku gestured expansively to his foe. "What took you so long? I've been waiting for you, entertaining myself on these pathetic side shows while I waited for you to finally arrive. Or is it that you rightfully fear me?"

"No, but I did learn quite an interesting amount of information from a so-called 'lackey' of yours." That Girl crossed her arms and pursed her lips a bit. 

.

            Yuuki was not surprised at all when she heard the muted crack and felt the passing of a bullet that came close to parting her hair. Here somewhere, camping in a secure position like all good snipers in _Counterstrike_ or _Quake_ do that makes them hated by their opponents, was the Mauser-toting Taka Ichiko.

"I'm not going to waste my time with you, Taka." That Girl put her hands on her hips and made a show out of scanning the entire area around her, though the chances of her spotting the sniper were very low. "If I beat you up, Akira will be hot on my heels to avenge your honor. Believe me if I say that's the last thing on my agenda; Mina can afford to deal with her, but I'd rather not, especially not at this time."

"So," returned his voice from somewhere nearby, "You're not afraid of _me_, but you're afraid of my _girlfriend_, is that it?"

"Sheo Darren is afraid of Akihiro Tanabe's sister Mawsi. And I'm not afraid of Akira; I respect her a lot for her exemplary fighting skills."

"My real-life girlfriend or Sheo's insert character of her via _Rival School_'s Akira?"

Suppressing a sigh of annoyance, Yuuki answered: "Both. Especially consider that she's probably reading this fan fiction right now, though no reviews or flames have been forthcoming her way." She then thoughtfully decided to add: "At least, not yet."

After a long moment of silence, during which she imagined a sniper scope's crosshair marks were being fixed upon her head, Taka Ichiko said, "You know, I'm in the middle of a crisis right now. I have a big decision to make."

"Oh?" She tried not to be sarcastic. "How so?"

"I'm considering a switch in alignment, you see. If I stick with Sho here and he wins, I get a pretty good deal of getting to do whatever I want to do. But on the other hand," and here was the big 'but', "The other Sho is the real Sho, and the real one usually wins over the fake one. Usually."

"Mind elaborating?" Yuuki's curiosity had been perked and for good reason. _This might just be important…_

.

             "And that's the grand story of why I'm late. Satisfied now?"

"I really should remind my minions to stop revealing critical pieces of information," grumbled Sho Tsuzuku as he wrote it down on a notebook for further reference. "Especially sensivitive stuff about my origin."

"Enough's enough, Sho. You've had your fun messing with them _and_ with _me_. Do you know how much I hate it when people uselessly waste my time? But of course you do know." It was clear from the coldness in her voice that Yuuki had reached the end of her temper's endurance. "It's in your nature to belittle people like they were insignificant worms, when in fact the most insignificant of them are _far_ more _alive_ and _important_ than _you._

"Oh, I know your tawdry little secret, Sho Tsuzuku. I've learned it just a while back. You're like a virus: You force your way into a story and then infect all the good files, corrupting them, until everything becomes a bad apple just like you. Bill Gates was a baby compared to you in terms of world domination.

"Bu that's not all, is it? You're a special kind of virus. The longer you stay in a system, the more power you accumulate. Given enough time, you can take over this entire world– this entire dimension. That's why I've got to stop you now, before it's too late. And that's why I won't listen to you anymore or wait this out too long.

"Get ready, Sho." That Girl was dead serious. "This girl is going to kick your ass back to where you came from: Nothingness. And I start now."

Sho Tsuzuku went so far as to clap his hands in mock admiration. "Brave words, Yuuki Darren. To paraphrase your own words, it would have taken any other person until the next installment to figure it out, Ky Kiske being the primary example. I so admire you that I think I will give you want you want.

"You want to fight me, Yuuki Darren? Fine," he drawled. "Prove yourself. Defeat the ace up my sleeve. Then, you can fight me at last."

"Not again." Exasperated now, the vermilion haired girl thought a complaint to the heavens was in order. "Why is it that he always gets to have flunkies take the fall for him? I mean, come on! Waste of perfectly good bandwidth, what with those new servers starting to fill up again!"

That Girl's eyes went wide, though, when she saw who came out from behind Sho Tsuzuku. "You!"

"Hello, Yuuki," coolly said the boy without any emotion at all. "It's been a while."

Yuuki stared in disbelief at Loki.


	18. Part 4: Yuuki

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

.

**Conceived and Written By:** Sheo Darren

.

**Disclaimers**

           I don't own anything here but myself, my created characters and the story itself. It's coming to a close, too, and I hope you enjoy it –and the surprise ending.

          This chapter is dedicated to Akira, the girl I never met but whom I feel I know so much from my friend (and her boyfriend) Taka Ichiko that I think I'd really want to meet her one day, just to compare notes and ask for advice. I'm always looking for advice.

.

.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**_"All Good Things Must Come To An End…"_**

.

**Part Four of Five: Yuuki**

.

.

            "Hello, Yuuki. It's been a long time."

Loki smoothly slid forward with the grace of a fox, placing himself squarely in front of Sho Tsuzuku like a small child would in front of the adult he liked, seemingly a silly gesture of adulation of protectiveness. The super villain was taller the (supposedly) ten year-old boy by a good two feet or so, and so Loki didn't seem to present much of a threat, even if one caught the mysterious depth in his dark eyes that told clearly that this was no ordinary boy, he was just too oddly normal and cute.

But to Yuuki Darren, this was perhaps the worst thing that could ever happen.

"Loki…" She couldn't bring herself to believe in what she was seeing, even if she knew it was no illusion but the stark truth. "Loki,is that you?"

The slow smile on his face was the terrible answer.

"Yes."

She'd liked him a lot, really. She'd told Bridget in all but an outright declaration of her liking for him: "_Actually, I think he's cute, too."_ They'd met a while back before the first _The Wedding Night_, when Sheo Darren had gone over to the _Matantei_ _Loki Ragnarok_ world to try persuading Reiya to join his harem. Sheo had failed –Reiya was too devoted to Loki– and while the poor author had been thumping his head on a wall on his failure and the other girls were consoling him, Yuuki had met Loki himself.

Something about the pleasantly polite exiled God/demon had piqued That Girl's insatiable curiosity. Without really knowing why she was doing so, she became rather good friends with him and found much delight in his companionship. They were one of a kind, children who were not really children, possessors of power, sharing immense responsibilities. She liked their intellectual discussions together and enjoyed his charmingly smooth mannerisms a la Eriol Hiiragizawa (Yuuki old first crush from _Card Captor Sakura_) and just loved to be around him even for frivolous reasons such as drinking tea or talking about poetry.

Much to Sheo's annoyance, Yuuki was irresponsibly leaving her duties undone and spending more and more time hanging out with Loki. At one point the author had brought her in for a scolding… and learned just how 'real' his creation had become…

.

            "Yuuki, you just can't go running around the world leaving me here to try fixing everything by my lonesome. You're supposed to help me out in keeping the world ordered and neat. That's what I created you for."

"Oh, come on, Sheo. You're the most powerful person in this dimension. I'm sure you can handle things just fine. Besides, you always know where I'm going, anyway."

"Yuuki, I'm the author. Not God with a flowing beard."

"There is actually God in your created world?"

"I am not going to entertain the theological/metaphysical implications of that particular argument right now."

"Look, I promise to get my duties done when I get back, okay?"

She said it quickly then, not bothering to think it over, wishing to get over this scolding session soon so she could return to Loki's side. He had invited her for tea that afternoon, and being a punctual person she did not want to be late. Besides, she enjoyed the tea sessions. (And for those perverted of mind, no, drinking tea was not a sublime metaphor for hot sex taken from _Noir_. For Yuuki and Loki, it really was all about drinking real tea.)

"I've said those very same words before a lot of times. I never got to doing them. How much more with you?"

"This time, I'll do it. Please, trust me a bit, okay?"

"Fine, fine. You're going over to Loki's place, right?"

She didn't deign to answer, which basically meant, _Yes_.

And then, inspiration and realization sprung awake inside Sheo's normally dense (when it came to girls, that is) brain. He suddenly asked:

"You're in love with Loki, aren't you, Yuuki?"

She came to a complete and utter standstill, her heart not so much skipping a beat as practically stopping for the better half of a minute. Utterly flabbergasted, That Girl couldn't form a cohesive argument for or against that accusation.

"I… that's… well… um…"

And then Sheo hugged her warmly then, grinning as he did.

"That's so nice. It's great to know you've got a good romance going on, not like me at all." He sighed upon his own rather chaotic love life, before cheerfully going on: "Now, I know you're a responsible girl and so is Loki, but please, wait 'til you're both old enough and married."

"Old enough?" She raised a questioning eyebrow at that remark. After all, she was all of a hundred and forty years old. As for Loki, suffice it to say that he had been around for a while. Like, for all of prehistory and history, being an immortal part-God and all.

Sheo laughed good naturedly at that ribbing. "I mean, wait until your bodies finally catch up with your minds. You're so mature that you sometimes forget you're stuck in the body of a ten year old."

"Well, it's _your_ fault I'm like this. Why didn't you make me fifteen or eighteen?"

"It's because you wouldn't be as cute as you are right now." He rumpled her hair affectionately, like a father to his daughter. "Besides, I never had a little sister, and a daughter is way too far in the future to consider." _If I could even pick one girl without all the others murdering her in envy, that, too…_

"That's Talim's role, or would you rather me start calling you _Kuya_ Sheo?"

"Sheo is just fine. Now, scoot." He turned her around and pushed her towards the door. "I don't want Loki annoyed at me because I kept you cooped up all day. Enjoy."

"Thanks," she said, meaning it, smiling back.

.

            That wonderful moment passed, and Yuuki found herself in the present reality once more.

She saw the sadistic pleasure on Sho Tsuzuku's face and realized that he had planned all this in anticipation of her moves. The super villain had always been one to divide friends and pit lovers against each other; such was his cruel nature that thrived on suffering and tragedy. Jam, Testament, herself, even that bastard Johnny, turned against those they should love at his insinuating venom.

She thought she knew the measure of his evil already. She was wrong.

But right now, she didn't care. Right now, anger burned through Yuuki like a poison, saturating her senses, loosening her grip on reality. It was a different kind of anger than with Rock, though. It was a cold fire of blue white, intellectual, scalpel like, and it so happens that the blue white flame may take the longest to get and seem coolest to the eyes– but it burns the hottest to the touch, so hot and fast that one would not feel it until it was past.

She knew this was what Sho Tsuzuku liked: To blind his opponents with their own emotions and thus indirectly force them into destroying themselves with little effort on his part. It was so with Rock, with Geese and Misaki.

Well, she would not play the game according to his rules. She would make her own rules. She would win. She must win.

With an immense internal effort, Yuuki relaxed her entire demeanor and body, letting her raging emotions cool and flow out of her body freely with her breath. Her eyes, however, could never hide the brightness in them, but that was fine by her.

_I'll save you, Loki. I promise I'll save you._

In her cupped hands, the star pendant thrummed faintly.

Loki had transformed into his true form already, now a leanly handsome young man. The staff of power in his hand grew to its full size.

_But first, I have to save myself._

"Show me your power, Yuuki Darren." Sho Tsuzuku clearly belittled her even now. "Let us see if you truly are That Girl."

_"_You want to see my power? Fine by me." Yuuki raised the star pendant up in one hand and announced in Japanese accented English:

**"STAR DIMENSION POWER: DRESS UP!"**

                                                                                *         *         *

            The clash of low-carbon divinely-blessed steel upon nanometer-thin alloy blade made him open his eyes, and the Wanderer knew that once more was he protected and spared by Fate in order that he may go on living.

"Elde-_san_!"

Her surprisingly considerable strength and the demon-quelling Western long sword holding back Johnny's formidable new _katana_, Kawasumi Mai locked eyes with her friend. "Go. Elde-_san_…"

"Mai." He did not move, merely looked at her as if the moment was extraordinarily ordinary.

"There's no time to lose, Elde-_san._ Go!"

"Out of my way, girl!" Johnny pushed forward at once, but Mai wasn't going to just buckle down and lose. With an imperceptibly skillful twist of her sword hand's wrist, she sent her opponent's deadly _katana_ downward harmlessly to the ground and then fell back, pulling her sword up as she did so. The edge of her weapon ran lightly across Johnny's left arm, scoring a shallow but lucky wound, the pirate lord wary now of his new foe. All that while, she was looking straight at the Wanderer, her attention evenly split but her fighting skills impressive.

"I'm getting careless," Johnny decided.

Even in a crisis Mai's face was serenely calm. "Go. I'll handle Johnny, Elde-_san_. You have to go help the others. You're the only one who can go head to head with Ranma or Sephiroth or Lucia. You can do it."

He saw the trust in her eyes, trust whose foundations were solid and real as the world, trust in his skill and power. Most of all, it was trust in him, trust in a Filipino youth named Elde Talonn who was once Swordsman and now was the Wanderer of legend come true.

It was the same trust that Hibiki Takane, his _sensei_, had in her eyes.

It was the same trust that Kirika Yuumura had for him.

It was the same trust that Hitomi Barrens bore shining in her heart.

_Trust in yourself, Elde. Trust in yourself._

_Trust in myself._

And then the Wanderer was alive once more, and his smile brought an equal one on Mai's face, a rare thing indeed. "Be careful," he told her, this time his turn to trust in her, just as she trusted in him.

"I will."

And then he was gone, running flat out, the winds whipping past him but unable to hold him back, fairly flying, the Wanderer of legend given reality and purpose once more.

Her friend back on his way, Mai turned to face Johnny. "You can't take me on alone, girl," the pirate lord cockily said. "I'm in EX Gold Mode. You, you're just a clone of me and Hibiki. You're no match."

To his surprise, Mai agreed. "You're right. But then again," she added, suddenly leaping aside, "I don't exactly fight alone."

Behind Johnny came a most ridiculous battle cry, but one used by perhaps the most fearsome person in this fan fiction aside from Sheo Darren or Sho Tsuzuku, and thus a cry to be feared.

"_Andito__ na muli ang baliw na paksiw!"_ _And here again comes the crazy curry!_

Even as the Jellyfish Pirate whirled around, he was met by the staccato roar of full automatic weapon fire, the Soviet Avtomat Kalashnikov AKM light machine gun firing nine hundred 7.62 laser-guided high-explosive armor piercing rounds per minute, fifteen bullets per second, with an accuracy of less than a centimeter thanks to the infrared tracking laser now turned on and following him.

Johnny's life just became a lot harder.

A Stabilo ball pen viciously chomped in between his teeth, the AKM held steady in his hands as it spewed out its deadly cordite thunder, Earl Osborne laughed out loud in his maniacal way.

"_Dasfidanya__, tovarisch! Gawa na ang machine gun na papatay sa iyo!"_

                                                                                *         *         *

            Darkness/Eddie howled as multiple explosions crumpled several of the hydra heads, severing two completely and stunning the rest with their shockwaves.

The battered Millia and Venom turned around to look at their unexpected reinforcement.

"NEED A HAND?"

Elbow-mounted rocket launcher still smoking even as his arm contracted and closed, eerie red eyes just now switching off their missile guidance mode, Robo Ky was a strange sight –but a very welcome one.

"We thought you'd never show up," Millia commented, a feeling that Venom was in agreement with.

"I AM VERY SORRY THAT I AM LATE. NOW, SHALL WE GET ON TO WORK?"

"Right on."

Darkness/Eddie roared.

At Robo Ky's shoulder, Sumomo woke up. She gave the recovering Darkness/Eddie one look and then squeaked in fear, scrambling behind her friend's head and peering anxiously from there. "Wah! Robo Ky, he's scary!"

"DO NOT WORRY, SUMOMO." An armored hand patted the Mini Persocon's head reassuringly. "I WILL PROTECT YOU, MILLIA AND VENOM AND I."

"I've got faith in you, Robo Ky."

"THANK YOU." The three GG fighters got into their battle poses and prepared for their counterattack.

                                                                                *         *         *

            Athena and Justine encountered difficulties in reinforcing I-Nou. For one thing, Lucia was a powerful foe, Goddess girl and Gear girl notwithstanding.

For another thing, I-Nou didn't exactly want their help.

As the two girls Fortress Blocked against the killing banshee keen, Justine tried to yell out above the din of battle: "_Onegai__, yamete! _We're on your side, Miss I-Nou!"

She didn't hear them –or perhaps she didn't want to hear. 

Lucia smirked. "It seems like I will not have to exert myself too much."

And then a hand clamped upon his shoulder tightly, totally unexpected.

"Wha–"

Sol Badguy glared at Lucia, growled "Fuck you," Wild Threw the villain, opening up his ▼-Slash-High Slash-Dust-Bandit Revolver-wait for attack's second hit-Roman Cancel-▼-HS-▲-S-Dust-repeat ▲-S-D until impossible to do cheap combo, then launching a Tyrant Rave: Version Gamma that blasted Lucia off a good half mile or so.

"Bad word!" clamored Kagura in a scolding manner. "Sol-_kun_ must not use bad word!"

"Knock it off." The Guilty Gear gave the surprised Justine and Athena a look of annoyance. "I don't suppose you're going to squeal 'Sol-_chan_' and throw yourselves on me, are you?"

Beside him, Kagura tensed just a little bit.

Athena, then Justine, broke into smiles. "Nah," they both said. "Nothing to fear from us anymore, Sol."

"That's nice to hear."

A scream of anger brought them all around.

Dark I-Nou would have launched an attack at them if she could. But she couldn't, being pinned down by three burly WWE wrestlers: Stone Cold Steve Austin, the Rock and Mister America. Mister America was also stuffing a rag into her mouth, cutting off the keen that was her power.

"They can do that?" Athena and Justine asked in honest awe.

"Plot device."

Lucia was up on his feet again. "A reunion? More of you to kill, then." Then to his surprise, a cloth fell on top of his head.

Loudly saying "So sorry, chap," Axl Low still grimaced as he yanked on his weapon hard. Lucia spun around, his neck slashed badly, and then Leopaldon hit him like a rocket-propelled battering ram, all 1,500 pounds of armored bio-weapon. As he staggered about in a daze, he heard the distinct _schnickt_ sound that bone claws made as they slid out of their forearm sheaths: Everyone's favorite X-Men loner, Wolverine, doing a–

"Berserker Barrage!"

That signaled a general mobbing action. What Athena and Justine had done to Cloud in a recent chapter, the entire bunch of them did far better and to more devastating effect. Lucia was indeed powerful and fought back relatively well, but 'relatively' was not enough. Dark Bring or not, he was up against three boss characters –Goddess, Command Gear and St. Bernard _Isuka_ Gear–, the legendary Brit-Fox ninja commando, Kagura/Kaguryl sniping from afar with an ultra-accurate 'kitty bag' rail gun, the mutant named Logan, and The Badguy, the last being using his ultra-cheesy _original_ attacks from the **_first_** _Guilty Gear_.

Nonstop Gun Flame attacks, anyone?

                                                                                *         *         *

            **"STAR DIMENSION POWER: DRESS UP!"**

There was a surge of power from all around, flaring from the earth and sky and space in cloth like lengths of soft pink –yes, pink– that wrapped around Yuuki, a calm translucent cherrytornado that just barely showed the shape of the girl held within. Celestial music began to play and a Gregorian choir led by Japanese pop idol Ayumi Hamasaki began chanting in harmony with the music.

"A magical girl transformation?" Sho Tsuzuku was surprised. Then he remembered the prime attraction of a magical girl transformation: The implied (and sometimes visible) nudity that was the hallmark of such costume changes. "Where's my camera?"

Inside her protective envelop, Yuuki was undergoing a radical transformation. Her clothes disappeared to make room for her new costume, she herself hunching into an almost fetal like position (Sho Tsuzuku's muffled curse of "Damn!" was quite audible and made her smile.). Taking in the energy all around her, her body began to rapidly develop until it reached an equivalent age of fifteen, complete with fair but not overdone feminine assets. Her hair grew rapidly until it was as long as she was tall. Her rapid physical growth done, her costume now materialized.

First was the glowing energy that coalesced into a black backless leotard (Again, Sho Tsuzuku's disappointment: "Rats!") Once she was no longer nude, Yuuki uncurled from her earlier position and let herself be carried by the power all around her, as a small boat would bob in the midst of a storm. A white _fuku_ (sailor suit) with black lining on its sleeves, lower part and collar went over the leotard. Long ribbons wrapped around her forearms and hands, becoming black gloves. A dark blue pleated short skirt formed at the lower part of the sailor suit. She still had her socks on; Yuuki used her feet to daintily remove one, then the other sock, and they were replaced by penny loafers and soft white boots. Two small _chibi_ wings sprung from her _fuku_'s back. Finally the star pendant grew in size to form a bejeweled medallion framed by a big decorative bow.

The transformation was complete. She landed softly on her feet.

(The previous line rhymed.)

All that was needed was the entrance lines.

"Enemies of all that is good and pure!" The challenge was accompanied by appropriate gestures. "I will punish you most painfully!

"My people and my world have suffered greatly from your tyranny! You have corrupted the servers of _fanfiction.net_ long enough! Now: In the name of Love, Justice and All Cute Things, I will destroy you!"

Yuuki did a fancy pose. "I am the protector of Love and Peace in The World of Guilty Gear! Magical _Joushikusei__ Bishoujo _That Girl Yuuki! I will punish you most painfully in the name of Sheo Darren!"

Sho Tsuzuku allowed himself to consider Yuuki –but not as an opponent. "Not bad… A little bit on the petite _Evangelion_ side, far more on cuteness than sexiness… but not bad, not bad at all… Oh, right." He turned to Loki. "Kill her."

Before the mind-controlled Demon Detective could take his first step, Yuuki executed her first move. The medallion burst into startlingly bright light.

"Key that uses the power of the Word, reveal thy true self! Yuuki, the one who formed the contract with thou, commands thee! **RELEASE!**"

The magical baton materialized in front of her, its long handle gleaming as she grasped it firmly within one hand. With the dexterous poise of a skillful cheerleader she twirled the baton expertly into a whirling blur before with a simple flick of her wrists arrested its motion, holding it in front of her in a two handed sword stance.

Just in time.

Baton and staff clashed in a collision of material force and magical energy. Though Yuuki managed to stop the first surge, she was inexorably being forced back by Loki's greater physical strength. Magical Girls have never been muscle bound powerhouses; they bent more on speed and agility and magical powers.

But this Magical Girl was not like the rest of the crop.

As Loki pressed harder and harder against her shield, Yuuki suddenly switched tactics. Instead of trying to stop her opponent outright, she let her self fall backwards, extending a foot as she did and kicking out. The idea –derived from _judo_– was that her sudden move, Loki's own strength and a good deal of momentum would send him flying over her head.

It worked.

As Loki scrambled to get back up, Yuuki vaulted upwards and agilely landed on her feet. Again the baton was held before her with one hand, but no longer in a defensive posture. Her free hand made a dramatic gesture while beneath her a circle of power came to life.

**"STAR DIMENSION PHASE ON!"**

The accordion-like ends of a squeaky toy popped out on the baton's head, forming a Piko Piko hammer while the baton itself lengthened. Yuuki shifted her free hand to grip the distant end of her weapon's elongated handle.

**"LOVE LOVE HAMMER!"******

She lowered the Love Love Hammer and then raised it up swiftly, letting it rest on her shoulder and almost down her back for a long moment as she threw a flirty flying kiss with her fore and index fingers, a red heart floating out with her gesture.

**"Magical That Girl Time!"******

Then, both hands on the stick, Yuuki swung out with all of her might, her immense magical power driving the squeaking bludgeon home.

**"LOVE LOVE FLOOD HAMMER ATTACK!"******

Loki had brought his staff up to block. It and his power were barely enough. When the Love Love Flood Hammer slammed into his magical shield, the tremendous shockwave buckled the ground beneath them and sent tremors throughout the battlefield. Yuuki was floating in mid air, buffeted by the contesting energies of their magic and weapons but holding on tightly, forcing her Hammer onwards against the barrier.

"Come on!" urged That Girl to herself, to Loki and to the Hammer, trying to end the stalemate, pouring all of her into the fight. Ignoring everything else –even her concern for Loki–, focusing all of her concentration and power into her weapon, Yuuki shone bright.

"Ooh," Sho Tsuzuku commented on the side from where he was watching. "Hair flying, skirt also flying, unintentional panty flash action from this certain angle… I just love these Magical Girls…"

"Come on… come on… come on…"

They were equally matched, and if one of them didn't give up– the stalemate of their powers would overload. Her humanity returned to her briefly –her attack weakened, letting Loki slowly begin to push her back– and then Yuuki yelled:

"Loki!"

Loki looked up, startled, at the familiar voice full of…

"_Onegai__,_ Loki!"

…Full of love.

"Now!"

In Yuuki's hands the Love Love Flood Hammer blazed like dawn breaking upon a clear sea, its power surging to its fullest once more. At the same time, Loki's will suddenly weakened and then gave way to doubt.

Her attack broke through the barrier. The Love Love Hammer's business end connected with Loki's forehead. There was a cute squeak.

The resultant heart-shaped explosion of light and sound made Sho Tsuzuku raise a hand protectively. "Impressive," he allowed as _sakura_ petals fell all around him, "Even given the 'power of love' crap. Perhaps in my next plans, I can use that power to evil purposes…"

Yuuki was cradling Loki in her arms, the Demon Detective having been returned to his ten year old form by the Flood Hammer Attack. The Hammer and the Staff had been set aside, forgotten. "Loki _kun!_ Loki _kun__! Daijoubu!_ _Onegai__ desu_, wake up!"

He was so cold, almost as close to being dead as one who was alive could possibly be without truly dying.

"Loki _kun__… onegai…_ please…" She was crying now. "_Onegai_… please wake up…"

He lay very still.

"I… I'm not… I'm not whole without you… I... I can't live without you…"

There was silence, save for her sobbing and her tears falling.

"… because I… because I love you…" She broke down and hugged him tight and cried. "_Aishiteru__, anata._ I love you very much…"

A finger wiped her tears away. In her arms, Loki smiled faintly.

"I know."

Sniffing, her tears quenched, Yuuki broke into a smile. "_Gomene__, _Loki _kun._ I think I overdid it._"_

"Safety margin's still out for debate. Yuuki _chan_," he added, his smile growing bigger.

She blushed and said, "Are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll be okay." He smiled at her. "Go beat Sho Tsuzuku for me."

Armed with that reassurance, her spirits full of hope and confidence, That Girl got back on her feet. "Sho Tsuzuku! In the name of Hope and Love, prepare for a most extraordinarily massive punishment!"

The super villain made a show of being bored. "I have heard this all before…"

Yuuki held the Love Love Hammer high above her head and yelled.** "STAR DIMENSION PHASE ON! LOVE LOVE BLASTER!"**

Again the magical weapon transformed anew, the handle shortening back to baton size, the Hammer Head turning into a heart shaped crystal flanked by two _chibi_ wings. Again the circle of power formed beneath her, drawing in the energy from all around, focusing it into the Love Love Blaster in one single intense strike. **"Magical That Girl Time!"******

"I have seen many attacks in my time," smirked Sho Tsuzuku. "And what sets your attack from the rest, pray tell?"

"This." She began to spin around and dance a small ballet routine, as all Magical Girls do when charging up for their ultimate attacks, reciting word by word their Overdrive's full name. **"STAR–"**

His smirk became wider. "I am not one of the normal villains in magical girl genre. I will not stand here, stupidly gawking, while my opponent is preparing to cast a spell that will utterly obliterate me." A fireball came to life in his hand as he spoke.

Ignoring him, Yuuki continued: **"–DIMENSION–"**

"A weakness of all Magical Girls: You need to charge up your attacks." The fireball in Sho Tsuzuku's hand glowed as ominously as its wielder. "How would you do with an interruption?"

**"–LOVE–"**

He threw the projectile at her–

**"–LOVE–"**

–Only to see it bounce off on a now visible shield.

"A shield!"

**"–BLASTER–"**

"Go, Yuuki!" Loki yelled in support.

**"ATTACK!"**

Yuuki released the Star Dimension Love Love Blaster Attack. The attack came on, all that energy concentrated in the form of–

Sho Tsuzuku had indeed seen and fought many martial artists in his eventful existence. He had seen many attacks that could have destroyed the world ten times over if executed to their full potential. He had witnessed entire planets annihilated, killed millions of people and then resurrected them in order to toy with them further. He was a cold-hearted and soulless bastard, the perfect villain.

But nothing he had encountered before bore compare to the sight of the giant pink heart heading his way.

The Star Dimension Love Love Blaster Attack smashed into Sho Tsuzuku and detonated into a massive burst of pink light and _sakura_ petals.

And then it was over. Or was it?

His aura was no longer detectable. There was no sign of him –wait.

It was a glitter of gold, nothing more, really. His ring, the one he wore on his right index finger. It lay upon the dust and the soil, abandoned, the body it was attached to having been disintegrated by her final attack. Odd to see that it survived when its wearer did not; in many cases, the human body is far stronger than gold.

It might mean that Sho Tsuzuku was still alive.

But Yuuki could not detect his aura. There was no sign of him, physically or spiritually. Wary, she kept on guard, searching carefully, not trusting her senses even though they were the only things she could rely upon.

There was none.

Deciding it wouldn't be too ostentatious or undeserved, Yuuki broke into a long sigh. Then, in a happier gesture, she twirled her baton in a dizzying pattern and then tossed her baton up into the air, catching it expertly as it fell. She turned towards Loki, flashing him a small smile that slowly took on depth and emotion.

He grinned back at her, their feelings mutual. Geese and Misaki were coming over to them, and so were Rock and Hotaru. But Loki and Yuuki's attentions were devoted only to each other. A simple hug turned into something more, a tight embrace that conveyed their relief and feelings to each other far better than words could ever dream of. It was a thanksgiving that the nightmare was at last over.

"You did it, Yuuki-_chan_," Loki whispered in her ear, his emotions uncharacteristically human and real, "You did it."

She held him back for a moment, mock disapproval on her face. "Yuuki-_chan_?"

"Would you rather I call you 'Pee-Wee'?" he asked.

"Nah." Yuuki grinned as she hugged him hard once more. "Yuuki-_chan_ is just fine with me."

And then, just as they all turned away, a cold wind blew.

Along with it was an evil chuckle.

"Do you really think it's over?"

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Interesting," Soldat J noted in his cool unemotional way at the sight on their forward viewers. "Captain, it appears to be a giant 5,000 foot tall Ranma Saotome wielding God-like powers."

"Hostile?" But Lumiere knew the answer to that already.

"Affirmative, Captain. Ranma has been confirmed by intelligence reports to be on the side of Sho Tsuzuku. He is one of the enemy's strongest and most loyal Chapters, second only to Sho Tsuzuku himself."

Inside the all-too-large captain's chair, Lumiere visibly looked a bit uncomfortable, and it was not due to the chair itself but the position. Tom Clancy had said that command can be such a lonely place. He was right on that, as Lumiere was finding out for herself.

The Anti Sho Tsuzuku Task Force was a formidable collection of heavyweight battleships and military units assembled for the purpose of defeating Sho Tsuzuku. The fleet flagship was the massive Race of Abel's Anti-31 Primeval Species Weapon battleship _J-Ark_ from _GaoGaiGar_. Normally the Task Force was under the command of Sheo Darren, but the author was conspicuously absent right now. Command prerogatives had therefore fallen upon his assistant Lumiere, who was now preparing the Task Force to hit the Chapter of Ten like a Kansas tornado would a trailer park.

Fear of hitting friendly forces on the ground by accident –'blue-on-blue' or 'friendly fire' in military terms– had delayed their attack. But now there was a big target in view, a target that even the dumbest battleship captain –and note that all the captains in the Task Force were brilliant and capable at the least– couldn't miss, and whose position was clear enough so that no friendly troops could be caught in a crossfire: The giant 'God-Mode' Ranma Saotome, absorbed so much in beating up on the Box of Doom/Plave and his EFZ team that he had not noticed the Task Force at all, the last not exactly the stealthiest of soldiers but certainly some of the heaviest hitters. All the while, status reports from the entire fleet were coming in.

"Captain Rowe reports that the _Silvana_ and the _Yamato_ are closing in on the target unnoticed…"

"_Macross__, _move to the following vectors for the Reflex Cannon fire mission…"

"_Nadesico_is scrambling and deploying Aestivalis interceptor squadrons…"

"The Ultrasaurus is maneuvering for attack…"

Taking a deep breath to steady her self, Lumiere gave out her first order: 

"Soldat J, go to battlestations."

"Plug Out!" commanded the Soldat Special Forces soldier.

The bridge and gun turrets of the J-Ark separated from the main battleship hull to become the _J-Bird_. The twenty-five meter long 'space jetter' was under the complete control of Soldat J's thoughts, a speedy aerospace combat aircraft. At his next command of "Fusion!" the _J-Bird_ merged its mechanical frame with Soldat J himself, creating the Variable Figure Core Robot _J-Der_. The final phase called for "Mega Fusion!" where _J-Der_ merged with the _J-Ark_ main unit to form the gigantic Ultra Mechanoid '_King J-Der'_. _King J-Der_ was two hundred fifty (250) feet and thirty two thousand seven hundred twenty (32,720) tons of hulking Mono Crystal Shell regenerating armor, Meson Particle Turrets, Finger Maser Cannons, Real Time Productive Missiles and J-QUATH Ultimate Anti-31 Primeval Species Weapon.

Even as _King J-Der_ finished its transformation and swung around to face its titanic foe, the other battleships were undergoing last minute battle preparations. Already in 'fortress mode', SDF-1 _Macross_ was aligning the twin booms of its likewise-named Macross Reflex Cannon. The _Nadesico_ was warming up its Gravity Cannon, the _Yamato_ energizing its destructive Particle Wave Gun/Black Hole Cannon, the _Norad__ III _powering up the Yamato Gun. Automatic loading systems inside the Ultrasaurus loaded 400mm anti-armor artillery shells into their monster rifles' chambers. Anti-ship torpedo tubes and heavy missile launchers were redlined, their warheads armed.

The fire plan was called a TOT barrage by the American military, TOT an acronym for 'time-on-target'. It basically meant that all the guns at various locations would fire at various predetermined times so that all of their ordnance would land at exactly the same time, thereby negating any warning that an all-too-early shell or rocket would give the enemy.

"Transformation is complete," announced Penchinon, the _J-Ark/King J-Der's_ AI unit. "_J-Ark _transition into _King J-Der_ is complete. All systems green, all weapons on line."

"All Task Force ships verify that they are in position," announced Ruri Hoshino over the communications net. "We are awaiting the command to attack."

"This is Meia Gisborn on the Ultrasaurus. We're ready when you are."

Other captains and commanders sent affirmative, all of them were as ready as humanly possible.

"On my mark," Lumiere murmured, mentally preparing herself for humanity's greatest battle and perhaps the greatest show of force to ever take place on the planet. "Ready…"

"Incoming message from the Wanderer," Celtic Midori announced excitedly, even constrained as she was by her big full-body teddy bear suit. "He's asking us to hold our fire!"

"What?"

"He's saying that we should fire on Ranma when he gives the signal," Maya Ibuki reported. "Until then, he's asking us to hold our fire."

Consternation spread amongst the Task Force members, almost all women by virtue of Sheo Darren's bias.

"I'm sure he has a good reason," Dana Sterling suggested.

In the end, they all decided to trust the Wanderer's judgment.

"Check fire, all units check fire." Lumiere sank into the captain's chair and let her breath out rapidly. She hadn't noticed she'd been holding her breath. "We'll wait for the signal."

_What are you up to, Elde?_

                                                                                *         *         *

            Sephiroth's attention was fully centered on Cloud Strife. The Jenova Being had an especial hatred for his former comrade-in-arms. Cloud was his sworn foe, his rival in swordsmanship, his eternal opponent in the battle for their world's future. Sephiroth had killed Aeris and caused much suffering for Cloud, but the latter survived and grew much stronger. Even Cloud's sword, the Materia Blade, was the foil to his own weapon, the only blade that could not be bested or destroyed by _Masamune_, made of Materia Energy and not of physical matter. So great was his hatred that Sephiroth would lose himself too much into it, seeing Cloud and only Cloud, driven to search out and destroy him at the extent of ignoring everything else around him.

It was a fatal flaw.

The idea that the Wanderer cannot kill is a misconception. He can, has, and will kill freely in order to protect people and the world from harm –if there is no other choice but to do so. The current Wanderer, Elde Talonn, is a kind person at heart, disliking fighting and abhorring bloodshed, respecting and loving life to the fullest. He had adopted as his guiding principles a pacifistic stance that would fight only to defend himself and his loved ones, and to help other people. His favored sword _Hiryu_, his _sensei_ Takane Hibiki's old sword and personal gift to him upon his leaving her tutelage, reflects his philosophy in that it is a reverse-edged _pole_ sword, a non-killing weapon.

But his other sword, the mystical _katana_ _Astray_, is a killing sword.

And Elde had spilled blood before as the Swordsman –driven by anger and Soul Edge, yes, but he had killed.

And though he would not kill anyone unless there was no other recourse, though he would not take pleasure in even the thought of harming another person with deadly force however evil that person was, the Wanderer had learned that the tree of liberty and life must be watered with blood in order for it to grow.

It was the greatest testament to his mastery of the sword that Sephiroth didn't even feel the Wanderer's attack, so swift was his blow and so sharp was _Astray_. The first inkling the Jenova Being had that there was something wrong was when the Swordsman materialize right in front of him, _Astray_ sliding back into its _saya_ smoothly as water flowed through a straight river, _Musou__ Maden Ryu_ modified for a _katana_. Surprised and angered, Sephiroth brought _Kamigami_ to swing around in a decapitating stroke –and found his hand missing, only a stump remaining, severed by a razor-sharp divine blade that wasn't even the slightest stained with blood, it had cut through his wrist so finely. The detached hand was still holding on in a death grip, only to loosen up and fall away as _Kamigami_ came upon a new owner.__

The Godslayer didn't react harshly to his touch. It was never really evil; few weapons are. Only their wielders determine the result of their work. You do not blame the bullet or the gun that killed a person; you curse the man who fired it. So was it with _Kamigami__._ It was merely created for one purpose: To kill Gods.

A purpose it was to realize once more.

Even crippled and fending off foes, Sephiroth would not accept his loss, striking out with _Masamune_ in a vicious blow. Fate intervened once more for Her Swordsman; Cloud parried the blow aside with the Materia Blade. The blonde Soldier exchanged the briefest of glances with the swordsman in black, sending his greeting and his best wishes. Hotsuma dashed in to occupy Sephiroth's attention. Now he was clear of the first obstacle.

Though heavily engaged, Lucia tried to stop him. Athena and Justine's combo strike was shrugged off despite their damaging punch, but then Sol slugged the Dark Bring backwards with a mighty Viper Fist to the stomach. Enterprising Axl looped his sickle chains around a leg and pulled, and as Lucia toppled Leopaldon plopped his huge weight down on the small of his back, stopping him for precious seconds even as Wolverine turned to help the WWE guys tackle the berserk I-Nou.

And Johnny was there, Mist Finer already on the way, grinning cockily, thinking to test the mettle of this brash opponent. The Swordsman No More blocked it effortlessly with _Hiryu_, the first defensive action he took since recovering _Kamigami_, was slowed down but compensated for it, defending with the _pole_ sword that his teacher had given him. Again Mai stood between her friend and the pirate lord, her swordsmanship superb, and then with a storm of machine gun bullets Earl Osborne drove Johnny back, the threat of death dealt by automatic weapons fire all too real.

He was through. In a matter of moments, he was through the thick of the fighting and charging alone into the lion's den.

He was heading straight for God Ranma.

Plave was down on the ground, buried alive in the soul, down for the foreseeable count. The EFZ girls were all hurt or unconscious, and that brought anger to his heart. They were his enemies, yes, but he had never wished them ill or harmed them beyond what was needed, disliking hurting or even fighting them. Their enmity was professional, and there was much mutual respect built into it. And they were girls. Elde Talonn had been taught to respect and cherish and protect women and children, as all Swordsmen (and Swordswomen) do.

Chivalry was not dead.

But there were those who would wish it and its proponents were.

Lightning cascaded around him, millions of volts of electrical energy springing from fingers the size of battleships. The earth shook below his feet as a foot that dwarfed all others stomped its displeasure. Meteors fell down and missed, massive crushing rocks falling down to ground level. All of it was a deadly display of power that would have frightened any other man –and claimed their lives.

But he was no ordinary man, no other man at all. He was the man who would live beyond all others, immortal, forever to walk the world until it was unmade, forever a protector and guardian and guide and paradigm, forever young and alive.

He was Elde Talonn, Swordsman No More, the Wanderer.

The Wings of Eternity sprung to life, carrying him into the sky and at enemy target, the abomination that should not be, the falsehood that he would vanquish now. Words flew from his lips, a challenge borne by the winds and echoed all around.

"You, sword that is death to those of immortal descent, assume your rightful place! You were created to strike down almighty tyrants who ground the lesser folk beneath their ironclad feet. You were taken from that worthy purpose, your meaning distorted, your purpose twisted into evil. But you are not evil; you are merely a weapon. The ends you achieve are the good or evil; your wielder decides them for you!

"Reclaim your rightful role! Strike down this corrupting presence from the world! _Kamigami_, the Godslayer, man has given you that name. Godslayer, indeed! Now assume your name!"

Past the lightning and meteors, past the storm gusts and hail and freezing rain, the Wanderer came up to the very façade of doom: The face of God Ranma.

"Retake your rightful name! Slay a false god!"

Upwards went the sword that was forged to kill deities. Upwards it was borne by hands that were backed by mighty Fate, greater than the gods of mythology, the weaver of past and present and future tapestries, the seamstress of reality. Upwards it was watched by dark eyes blazing with courage and hope. Upwards the Wanderer looked into the heavens and prayed to the true God to drive his blow straight and true.

There was a flash of lightning, even as feathers scattered all over the wind and earth.

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Do you really think it's over?"

They turned, disbelief marring the joy in their faces, as where the ring stood –no; where the ring _hovered_ in _mid-air_, a most familiar powerful aura manifested once more and an evil laugh echoed all around. There was a shadow there, hovering around the jewel, a shadow that began to rapidly take on solid form and definite shape, an identity they all feared and hated.

"That's impossible!"

The ring gleamed gold upon the hand of Sho Tsuzuku, alive and well once more.

"It was an impressive display, indeed, Yuuki –if little else." The barb was arrogant and condescending and exactly familiar; there was no mistake about it, he was the real thing, returned to life. "

"I obliterated you." Yuuki was cold to the pit of her bones. "I disintegrated every cell and every molecule of your body into nothingness."

"Ah, yes. The so-called 'tactic' _Dragonball__ Z_ heroes use to destroy the villain who keeps on regenerating every supposedly 'fatal' wound he received. Clever of you to use it against me; few people ever think to do that.

"This fight is hopeless for you, girl. You cannot defeat me!" proclaimed Sho Tsuzuku.

But she wasn't listening to him.

"I won't give up." Yuuki trembled visibly, her anger and her emotions returning in full force, her knuckles white from gripping her baton with so much force, her aura rippling all around her. "I won't give up. I won't give up. I won't give up."

Her blue eyes flared with the words of her invincible spell.

"I ABSOLUTELY WON'T GIVE UP!"

The baton was raised once more into the air, the wings spreading, the crystal gemstone aflame with power. 

"Yuuki, look out!"

The warning came too late.

Caught up in her turbulent anger, That Girl had failed to spot the slimy feeler slithering towards her. The tentacle wrapped itself tightly around her ankle and pulled hard.

Yuuki lost her balance.

More importantly, she lost her concentration. The spell she was about to cast failed.

Even as she was finally reacting to the attack, more tentacles appeared, grasping for her arms and legs, immobilizing her, lifting her roughly into the air. The baton fell to the ground, useless outside its mistress' hands.

She could hear Sho Tsuzuku's laughter.

"Tentacle monster!"

The hideous beast that rose from the darkness and _of_ the darkness was no ordinary tentacle monster. Despite its multitude of tentacles waving in the air and fastening upon its victim, it was vaguely humanoid, speaking of an origin that was human. Then the face appeared.

"Ah, Arvi." Sho Tsuzuku spoke calmly as if discussing friendly matters with an ally –which he was. "How do you like the ADV Virus I inserted into you? Liking your new form?"

"Dammit, Sho! I didn't ask to be turned into a tentacle monster!"

"Yes, yes, but you asked to get powers to enforce your Lolita tendencies, if I remember correctly."

"Well, yeah, I did, but–"

"Yes, you did. Now, quite whining and take care of That Girl. She's quite a morsel if you crack her armor."

"Okay…"

"Yuuki!"

Loki was charging wildly towards ADV Arvi, ignoring his injuries, the staff of power in his arms. He knew that almighty as ADV tentacle monsters were versus women, they were completely vulnerable and weak against even the lowliest male.

But then Sho Tsuzuku blasted him aside with a power beam.

Geese and Misaki, then Rock and Hotaru, attacked.

The super villain carelessly tossed them aside or broke their attacks –and then broke _them_.

Yuuki could see it all from her impromptu perch above ADV Arvi's head, paralyzed and held in the air by at least half a dozen tentacles. She couldn't resist at all, even as other tentacles took hold of her costume and began tearing it apart. The fabrics resisted, their essence being composed far more of magical nature than physical material.

"Get the gemstone on the ribbon bow," Sho Tsuzuku advised as he shunted aside Rock's Shine Knucle and smacked Misaki into Geese, stopping the last's offensive. "It's just like the _Sailormoon_ movie; destroy that, and she's basically naked."

Arvi followed the directions given him. The gemstone burned the first few tentacles that approached, but he had plenty more of them where they came from. It was all a matter of ignoring casualties and pain for a greater objective.

At least ten tentacles wrapped around the gemstone tightly and in a violent motion finally ripped it off the front of the blouse.

The shine of Yuuki's costume faded, but then turned into streamers of bright pink light that leapt away from the body they clothed and into the medallion, leaving her in just her underwear.

Sho Tsuzuku firmly planted a foot upon Loki's chest. All the others were down, unconscious or badly injured.

They had lost.

Tentacles reached for Yuuki, aiming to strip away the last of her clothes.

.

            Tears slipped from her eyes.

She had failed.

_I'm sorry, Sheo… I did my best…_

"I know," said the voice inside her head –and outside her. "But that's what counts in the end: How much you tried."

Yuuki gasped.

.

            Something whirred through the air, glancing off ADV Arvi's shoulder, the impact causing a disproportionate energy explosion in the form of an _AT Field_. Yuuki got a good look at them and gasped again.

It was a pair of spectacles.

And as ADV Arvi turned, he found someone standing in front of him.

**"NO REGRETS: M.D.K. (MURDER DEATH KILL)!"**

A barrage of punches and kicks, each blow calculated carefully and delivered at precise points of the body –pressure points and nerve endings– to inflict maximum punishment. The closest comparison would be Shin Akuma's _Shun Goku Satsu_, though _No Regrets: MDK_ was not meant as a killing move but merely as something to pummel the living daylights out of the target_._

The principle was the same: In _Guilty Gear_ terms, an Instant Kill.

The tentacles holding her prisoner went limp, and Yuuki fell down–

–Right into the arms of her rescuer.

"_Oi__,_ Yuuki," commented a voice so familiar and beloved, with a grin that was both teasing and warm. "You okay?"

She looked into the face of her rescuer and saw him, and then Yuuki broke into a smile so long overdue.

"You're late."

                                                                                *         *         *

            The famous British military counterterrorist troop SAS (Special Air Service) had a saying: "Who Dares, Wins."

The Wanderer dared.

He won.

_Kamigami_ sheathed itself home into the giant eye.

A deep groan escaped from Ranma's lips as he tried to save himself before it was too late. A giant hand reached out to swat away the mosquito that was the Elde Talonn, to pluck the needle that was _Kamigami_. But the Wanderer was away now, flying clear of his enemy. The needle had done its purpose, reclaimed its name: Godslayer, the weapon that kills men inflated by their egos into thinking and behaving as if they were gods when they were only human. Only one blow was needed.

The other blows would be insurance.

"NOW!" the Wanderer yelled.

.

            The girl stood up, the better to watch.

It was perhaps the greatest fireworks show in the world. All the Task Force battleships opened fire with primary and secondary batteries, their armament tracing lines in the sky, lines that spelled death and destruction. Huge rifled artillery howitzers, large-caliber automatic cannon, electromagnetically driven rail guns, high-explosive and plasma-yield and nuclear anti-ship/anti-planetary missiles, gamma ray laser blasts, charged particle beams and unimaginable super weapons such as the Black Hole Cannon and J-QUATH Phoenix lighted up the sky, a manmade storm of annihilation, the true fire that burns heaven and earth.

Under that awesome barrage of firepower, the impotent immensity that had once been a virtual god disintegrated, the soul having long fled before that final conflagration. Ranma Saotome was now in whatever afterlife awaited such of his kind.

"The altar of falsehood had been torn down by men and women who know better –and pray with truer hearts and believe in a truer faith: That of the goodness and hope in all of us."

So saying, the girl walked down from her mountain perch. It was time to rejoin the world, time to shed away her differences and her shelter and let Fate bear her wherever it wanted.

It was time to rejoin one special young man.

                                                                                *         *         *

            It was him.

Savior, master, creator, teacher, father, but most of all, he was her friend.

Sheo Darren had returned.


	19. Part 5: Sheo

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

.

**Conceived and Written By:** Sheo Darren

.

**Disclaimers**

           I don't own anything here but myself, my created characters and the story itself. This is the second to the last part, and I hope you enjoy it –and the surprise ending. The songs mentioned here are, in the following order: _Liminality_ from _.hack//Liminality,_ _Duvet_ from _Serial Experiments Lain_ and _Sayonara Solitia _from _Chrno__ Crusade_.

.

          This chapter is dedicated to Lone Wolf SIX, the online friend I met on _fanfiction.net_, unseen but unbelievably real. It's been a happy romp with you, and I hope you never run out of fun stories to write. As for your romantic troubles, I don't mind if you choose Cassandra over Hibiki the pencil held in Sheo's hand snaps audibly, though, and his words are said with gritted teeth and Yuuki is standing by watching him warily, ready to hold him back if he goes bonkers, just make sure that you don't mean to hurt Takane-_sensei_ ^_^. Otherwise, I wish you the best of the best.

.

          Enjoy.

.

.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**_"All Good Things Must Come To An End…"_**

.

**Part Five of Five: Sheo**

.

.

                                                                                *         *         *

_                                                                        I'll be there by your side_

_                                                                          In the land of twilight_

_                                                                         In your dream I will go_

_                                                                         'Til we find the sunrise_

_                                                                        You are lost in nightmare_

_                                                                            Deep in blue illusion_

_                                                                      One more kiss to wake you up_

_                                                                       Come be mine, you are mine_

_                                                                    I will be there seekin' for liminality_

_                                                                      No destinations to see, I wander_

_                                                                     In quiet places so dark as eternity_

_                                                                        I'm crying calling your name_

_                                                                             I'm searching for you_

_                                                                     Dreaming in the land of twilight_

_                                                                       We are in the land of twilight_

_                                                                             Deep in blue eternity_

_                                                                             Search for liminality_

.

            "Dreaming in the land of twilight… we are in the land of twilight… deep in blue eternity… searching for liminality…"

She could feel the realization of it arrive in her mind even as her song ended, as she voiced out those last words as a plea.

It was coming.

The end was near.

The sunlight shone still despite the sky shadowed by sinister ships of war. But soon it would shine no more.

The moon awaited its turn upon the horizon, silver sphere of special favor for lovers and romancers. But soon its wait would end forever.

The world was as alive and adrift and amazing as it had been for a hundred years, enduring onwards to a future unimaginable even by the dreamers.

But soon it would be gone, never to return.

"Even though the sun and the moon and the world disappear…"

The girl held herself against the otherworldly chill that swept around and within her, warmed by her own presence and the presence of the one she sought for so long, the one who was not with her now but was always beside her and within her in love.

"Even though they all disappear…"

She looked afar to where it all happened, to where and era and a world were rapidly drawing to an end.

"Even if they disappear, _you_ will still be there."

                                                                                *         *         *

            Sheo Darren smiled at his creation, spectacles shining in the fading light. "I humbly apologize for being so late, but is this really the latest fashion sense in the Magical Girl wardrobe?" He eyed Yuuki's current state of undress with joking disapproval. "I know Puni Puni Poemi's costume was daring, but there was no real need to improve or continue on it. Conservative tradition has some good things running for it, you know. What will Loki-_kun_ think?"

She bonked him on her head lightly for the teasing comment, but Yuuki was also smiling. "_Baka__._Hey, it isn't my fault I'm just wearing lingerie. Arvi stripped me down to this in the last chapter. Now," she added a bit threateningly, "If you don't mind, you can stop staring at me and put me down –or is it that you're into Lolita for real?"

"You never were much for a tease, Yuuki-_chan_." He set her down on her feet, but presented a coat for her use, which she gratefully wrapped around her.

"What took you so long?"

"I could say, 'plot devices', but that would be irresponsible. I just took longer than I thought to get all the firepower I needed–"

"–And convincing the new additions to your 'harem' to join up?"

He grinned a bit embarrassedly. "What do _you_ think?"

For a moment Yuuki pouted in disapproval, but then she hugged Sheo hard, her tears beginning. "Thank God," she murmured, crying. "Thank God you're back at last."

"_Hai__._Thank God, indeed."

Sheo Darren turned to Sho Tsuzuku.

"Get out. Get out of my world."

                                                                                *         *         *

            The Wanderer touched down lightly, the Wings of Eternity folding upon themselves and withdrawing back into him once more, quiescent until his need calls out to them once more. In his hands _Kamigami_was asleep, its duty done, its name reclaimed.

A sigh escaped him, a sigh of regret at having to shed blood and lives.

Behind him, the last remnants of what had been Ranma Saotome were blown away by the wind.

He was alone, but not for long.

Footsteps preceded the sunlight flashing upon drawn steel. A lone figure confronted him.

Despite his silent lamentations, the young man who was once merely Elde Talonn looked up and regarded his foe.

"You never give up, don't you, Johnny-_san_?"

A hand on his _katana_, the coldness of the pirate lord's eyes was hidden by his dark shades –incidentally, the same make as the Wanderer's own. His dark smile was an evil counterpart to the heroic journeyman swordsman's regular beam.

"What did you do to Mai? Where is she?"

"She's preoccupied."

.

The first indicator that there was something wrong was when Kawasumi Mai subconsciously noticed she couldn't hear the roaring of her companion's AKM. She was completely occupied crossing swords with Johnny, needing every bit of her skill and ability to match the pirate lord.

Earl Osborne was down. Not down and out for the count as Plave was but definitely down, pinned and held down by perhaps a dozen girls. The Filipino action hero was swearing loudly in English, Filipino, Japanese, Russian and Drow, clearly unhappy with his situation but seemingly unable to do anything about it.

"Well, what do you know?" Johnny had a small knowing smile on his face. "It looks like your friend's weakness happens to be cute girls."

Mai ignored the jibe or her ally's 'plight'. Earl Osborne was invincible a la Keitaro Urashima. There was no real way those girls could kill or even harm him.

But he couldn't provide fire support for her. _This complicates things_, she decided.

Further complications were on the way.

Several more girls appeared. They were all dressed in _serafuku_, cut-off jeans and bandannas: The uniform of Jellyfish pirates. They placed themselves between Mai and her opponent.

Johnny's grin grew further.

"Don't worry, Johnny," one of the Jellyfish girls said. "We won't let her hurt you."

Mai felt cheated, even though she wasn't the one being betrayed but these girls. "You…"

"Unfortunately, it seems that my girls are rather protective of me." Johnny tipped his pimping hat to his capable but foolishly idealistic foe. "I have an appointment to continue with your good friend. Perhaps we can continue our dance after he and I are done."

So saying, he left. Mai would have followed him, but the Jellyfish girls stood in her way, effectively blocking her path.

"We won't let you hurt Johnny…"

"_Kuso__…"_ The swordswoman lost her cool at such blind devotion and yelled at them: "You're just being used! He doesn't love you or care for you, at least, not anymore!"

"We know," they said sadly.

"Then why are you doing what he wants you to do? Why?"

"Because we love him." The Jellyfish girls were crying. "It's because we love him."

.

"You used your girls to buy you time you needed." The Wanderer's dark eyes were even blacker than ever. "Sho Tsuzuku's own tactics: Use other people to fight for him."

"Sho Tsuzuku tactics?" Johnny laughed. "You are too kind. Everyone uses such tactics. Commanders rarely, if ever, personally take the risks. They always have their troopers willing to do so for them.

"Sho Tsuzuku tactics? Wouldn't you call the way Sheo had Talim defeat Giant Barney –or Sheo letting the _bishounen_ defeat the EFZ girls, or Yuuki leading the GG fighters to their dooms and deaths, or even _you_ yourself having Mai fight me– Sho Tsuzuku tactics' as well? Wouldn't you say that your side and my side are on the same coin?"

For a moment, he kept his peace. In his hands, _Kamigami_ glowed once. He shushed it back to sleep with a word –and planted its blade deep into the ground.

The Wanderer stood up, a smooth fluid motion, all human emotion slipping away as a fey mood overtook him like dawn breaking upon the night. "It seems," he said with a steely tone, no compassion evident in it, "That perhaps I was mistaken to the extent of your corruption. It appears that you have fallen too deeply into the darkness to be saved.

"I am not like you or Sho Tsuzuku. Yes, my friends risk their lives for me, just as your girls do so for you. But unlike _you_, I care for them in return. _I_ worry about them. _I_ wouldn't have them put their lives and happiness at risk just because of me.

"The Wanderer will live alone forever. But around him the world and people will care about him –and he in turn cares about them."

"Fine. Have it your way." Johnny got into his stance. "Then let's get this over with, boy."

The cold aura that suddenly surrounded the young man was striking. This was Elde Talonn no more, Swordsman No More. This was the Wanderer as his original inception was: Warrior, protector, guide, journeyman.

Forever alone and alive.

"You don't deserve the honor of a fight," he said.

Johnny fell back despite himself.

From behind the Wanderer raised a titanic saurian head, the crest of crimson crystal its bridge and eyes, each of its teeth easily taller than the Swordsman. The muzzles of its huge 400mm cannons could fit entire vehicles in their cavernous mouths. They and various other weapons mounted on both the massive carrier Zoid and its escorting mecha were leveled directly at Johnny.

The Ultrasaurus had arrived.

"Elde-_kun?"_ It was Kirika, talking over the external amplification speakers. _"Daijoubu?"_

"_Hai__, _Kirika-_kun_." Only when he talked to her did his voice retain its warmth and kindness. "And you?"

"It was a bit exciting back then. We've got you covered now."

"_Arigatou__ gozaimasu._" To Johnny: "Surrender. I will not draw my sword to fight such an undeserving man as you, but I don't control the fingers on the triggers of those weapons. And by the looks of it, they don't like you very much."

"You'd let them kill me?" The pirate lord tried to look horrified; instead, he was chilled to the heart. "I thought the Wanderer–"

"–Couldn't kill?" He looked at _Kamigami_ and remembered the life he had just taken –and the lives of those others he had killed before, and those his predecessor had slain. "I never really was interested in fighting or killing. I just knew I had to be who I was: Swordsman, Wanderer, Elde Talonn. The Motherless Child. The new bearer of the legend's cross.

He smiled just slightly, painfully, at his undecided dispassion. "Maybe I don't care that much anymore."

Johnny attacked him.

                                                                                *         *         *

            To their utter and complete surprise, Darkness/Eddie broke off its attack, turned around and simply went away without even giving them a second glance.

Millia, Venom, Robo Ky and Sumomo stared at the sight of the giant shadow being's retreat. They were all too stunned for words or actions or even thoughts. They simply watched Darkness/Eddie vanish.

Sumomo was the first to react. "Aiieeee! We won! We won!" She began dancing on top of Robo Ky's head. "Evil shadow monster is gone! We won!"

"Just what was that?" a consternated Millia asked Venom.

"He just went away."

"Maybe he was bored of us?"

"Maybe? Who knows?"

                                                                                *         *         *

           Sephiroth stared at the impossibility before him.

Cloud's heart sang aloud in pure joy.

_"Ohayou, Cloud-kun."_

Aeris Gainsborough smiled at him.

                                                                                *         *         *

            Lucia was all alone now, confronted and cornered by the _Guilty Gear_ and_ King of Fighters _fighters plus the _Fruits Basket_ insert character, his back literally against a wall (there was such a structure that had somehow survived their battle, now conveniently positioned behind him to guard his back).

Asamiya Athena and Justine Harrier, the Goddess singer and archetype Gear formerly sworn rivals, now the closest of teammates.

The so-called 'man from the past', Axl Low, cheerily his 'evil sickle skip ropes'.

Leopaldon, the odd-looking but very formidable boss from Guilty Gear_ Isuka_.

But it was Sol Badguy who was the most fearsome of the bunch.

This was not just any Sol. This was _the_ Sol Badguy from the _first_ Guilty Gear. This was the Sol who was so cheap and unfairly unbalanced (the original GG was quite slipshod in character balance). This was the one who could launched rapid unlimited series of Gun Flames as fast as the player could pump them out. He was the most fearsome opponent Lucia had ever met.

"Maybe not," suggested a voice out of nowhere.

Everyone looked up in surprise.

It was the Guilty Gear writers of note. All of them.

The so-called 'lone wolf' of the writers, Lone Wolf SIX, accompanied by Takane Hibiki and Cassandra Alexandra, his created cosplaying assistant Kokurabuji Hikki and the 'wolf pack' of Lone Wolves ONE to FIVE.

The crazy Canadian comic, Person With Many Aliases, escorted by Korean archer girl Makijina Mina from _Samura__ Showdown_.

The almighty Blackheart ZERO and his friend TRUE Unknown (no, they're not the pairing; they just don't have any girls paired up with them).

Even that new kid, Nik Hasta –self-proclaimed Sheo Darren/Kaiser Ryouga II/Talon Silverwolf fan– and his sidekick/assistant Chibi, were there.

And Lucia suddenly knew that it was all over for him now, and he didn't even have enough time to scream his outrage at his impending doom–

"Hit him, people!"

Sol: "NAPALM DEATH!"

Kagura: "CUTE KITTY BACKPACK BAG SNIPER CANNON STRIKE!"

Athena: "DEUS EX MASTA!"

Justine: "SHEER HEART ATTACK!"

Axl: "SHIRANAMI NO HOMURA

Leopaldon: "WOOF!" (roughly translates to whatever its IK is called)

Lone Wolves ONE to FIVE: "HOWL FROM BEYOND!"

Lone Wolf SIX: "TO THE ABYSS YOU GO!"

Hikki: "CHRONO STORM!"

Hibiki: "_Shinu__._"

Person With Many Aliases: "FLYING NINJA KICK!" (actually a normal move, but I don't really care)

Blackheart ZERO: "ZERO FINISH!"

TRUE Unknown: "I am not going to use that stupid– oh, what the hell; no choice, no IK of mine to speak of. GODO-SHOHOKEN!"

Nik Hasta: "THE-ULTRA-MEGA-NIK-HASTA-DESTROYER-GIGA-HYPER-SUPER-KILLER-DESTROY-1,0,0-JOULE-THIS-IS-A-LONG-MOVE-NAME-TERRIBLE-INSANELY-INSTANT-KILLISH-SLASH!"

Chibi: "This is so silly." (throws a rock)

Everything went white, then black.

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Get out. Get out of my world.

Sheo Darren looked tired. He was not angry or furious or raging. Instead, he looked like he was immensely inconvenienced but uninterested in exerting any effort to deal with the annoyance. A striking emotion, but it was far different from anger and not very threatening –but it was striking, indeed, because it was totally unexpected.

"What?" Sho Tsuzuku was honestly –or as close to honest as he could get– astonished. "Am I hearing this right? No challenge to fight? No incendiary speech or demand for me to pay or threat of massive punishment and suffering? No minion summons or blasts of power or fancy martial arts moves?" His last comment summed it all up. "Just a request to 'go away'?"

"In a nutshell? Yes." Sheo walked over to the remains of ADV Arvi and picked up his glasses, wiped them clean and inspected them. "No scratches. Good." He put them back on.

"Sheo!" That was Yuuki, who now found her voice and was righteously angry at her master, easily shifting from happy gratitude to critical anger in the span of only half a minute. She was representative of everyone's feelings. "What on Earth are you saying?"

"I'm saying that if Sho Tsuzuku leaves without a fight, I'd be perfectly happy. I'm giving him the chance to leave this dimension and never return."

"Why?" It was Sho Tsuzuku's turn to be curious. "Why the change of heart?"

"Let's just say that I am tired and bored and apathetic and totally lacking interest in dealing with you. Actually, let me amend that: I am interested in dealing with you, but I don't feel like it. Not right now. Not anymore.

"You see, I have a modified version of Sol Badguy's psychological limitation. I don't like to exert myself very much, save when the matter at hand is of importance or interest to me, _or_ if someone requests me to do so." Sheo tipped his glasses up his nose and continued. "It's what the Spanish call _maňana__ habit_: Apathetic laziness, also called 'lack of focus and concentration' by parents angry at their delinquent sons.

"I could go on for a while, elaborating on certain points that need more than just a brief explanation. But of course that would not be necessary and very imprudent, the last considering that every second you spend in my world –even just standing there– increases your power. As summary to all I've said: I'm not in the mood for this. Please leave now," concluded Sheo, the annoyance and anger replaced by honest disinterest. "Shoo. Go away. Scat. The works. Just go away."

There were several kinds of reactions to this closing remark. One, for Rock and Hotaru and Geese and even normally imperturbable Loki, was to stare at Sheo as if the author had gone crazy. The second party –Misaki and especially Yuuki– was to get angry and demand explanations.

That Girl was especially incensed. This was the rankest kind of betrayal for her, especially considering what she had undergone just for Sheo. She had fought and hurt her fiancé Loki despite him being the most important person in her small universe of feelings. She had expended her full power and her life in fighting Sho Tsuzuku, and nearly got raped by a tentacle monster for her efforts. Yuuki thought that she deserved something better than this. To quote Wufei Chang: **_INJUSTICE!_**__

"Damn it, Sheo! I didn't throw myself into near oblivion for you, just to have you giving up so early before the fight! You aren't even trying! Words won't matter to Sho! You have to destroy him! There's no other way! You know that very well!"

Sheo looked at her. It was then that Yuuki saw something different in them.

"I meant what I said." An angry denial would not have had the effect and power of those honestly said words. "I didn't say, 'I _won't_ fight him'. I said, 'I _don't want_ to fight him'."

Simple, really, so subtle a phrasing that even those well versed in the English language would have missed it in translation.

The third kind of reaction?

That was Sho Tsuzuku's.

He laughed.

Sheo stared at the smirking super villain for a long moment, rolled his eyes, sighed and put a hand to his forehead, fingers trying to feel the pain and annoyance inside his head–

–And then just snapped out loudly in a very angry tone:

"Why is it people are so wedded to their ideas so strongly that, despite the obvious, they just have to be so **_stupid_**?"

So saying, he spun around to glare at Sho Tsuzuku: "FALL!"

A great weight seemed to plant itself on the super villain, pulling him inexorably towards the ground. He began to resist–

"JUST **FALL**, DAMN IT!"

Sho Tsuzuku found himself sprawled on the ground, his face half buried in the soil, exactly as Sheo had snapped.

It was Command Voice, a verbal application of Sheo's power 'The Will and The Word', where reality's components defy behavioral norms laid down by physics in order to execute whatever event or idea wanted by the caster, however absurd or impossible it was.

In layman's terms, it meant that whatever Sheo wants to happen, happens.

The verbal outburst was accompanied by a surge of force so strong that it blanked out all other sources of power nearby. The invisible pulse of energy brought everyone else in the battlefield around them to a halt. They all heard the Command –and found themselves following it despite their inclinations.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I **HATE** EXERTING MYSELF WHEN I **DON'T** WANT TO DO SO?" The Filipino author was positively furious, black eyes ablaze, angry like no one there had seen him before. Everyone could hear him yelling his head off and could see the tightly clenched fists he was waving around. "BUT OF COURSE YOU **DON'T**! YOU HAVE **NO** GODFORSAKEN IDEA **_HOW_** MUCH!"

Sho Tsuzuku began to get up on his feet.

"STAY DOWN!"

Again the super villain was blasted into the ground by the sheer volume of force focused through Command Voice, going in deeper as to create a shallow impression upon the soil. Again he began to get up.

"I SAID, **_STAY DOWN!_**"

The power was exactly like I-Nou's Voice, but far greater in magnitude. This time, the almost-physical force that drove Sho Tsuzuku into the ground for the third time running created a crater fifty meters in diameter and a tremor that measured third on the Richter Scale.

"I **_HATE_** IT! YOU **_HEAR_** ME? I SIMPLY, POSITIVELY, ABSOLUTELY **_HATE_** IT!" Ranting as he was, Sheo was also summoning massive objects out of thin air and dropping them right on top of Sho Tsuzuku. Starting with the basic anti-'fan boy' anvil, bigger and heavier things followed courtesy his right hand's gestures: An M1 Abrams battle tank, a 747 jetliner, a Russian _Tbilisi_-class supercarrier, the Megadeus Big O, the aliens' mother ship from _Independence Day_, former WWF wrestler and sumo champion Yokozuna, the combined egos of all web comic artists and _fanfiction.net_ writers who ever existed, and a half-dozen bananas (the last very heavy on the stomach).

"YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I **_HATE? _**_HENTAI DOUJINSHI_ ABOUT TOMOYO AND TESSA! KIRIKA-MIREILLE PAIRINGS! EVANGELION X! WORDS WORTH! BLACKMAIL! BLACKMAIL **2**! STUPID SLUTTY **_BIMBOES_** WHO FLAUNT THEMSELVES **_SO_** BLATANTLY THAT YOU WONDER WHY HALF THE WORLD HADN'T RAPED THEM TO DEATH, WHICH GOES TO SHOW **_HOW_** DISGUSTINGLY SENSUAL **_THEY_** ARE! BY MY ENGLISH TEACHER _LOLA_'S 'COLLEGE QUIPS', I JUST **_HATE_** THEM! YOU HEAR ME? I **_HATE_**! BURNING **_HATE_** RAGES THROUGH MY **_VEINS_**AND DEMANDS APPEASEMENT!"

"Is he really this scary?" Loki asked Yuuki, both of them sweat-dropping despite themselves, the former intimidated by his potential father-in-law's show of temper.

"Only sometimes. The last time he got as worked up as he is right now, that was when his classmates at his old high school had made fun of his efforts to help them fix their Kris Kringle. He's usually the reticent smart guy who shrugs off most stuff, but boy can he blow his fuse at times. Well, he asked them to write names on the strips of paper they would use for the Kris Kringle. They all wrote his name. If there's anything Sheo hates, it would be people not taking him seriously when he's trying to make a serious point."

"What did he do? To his classmates, I mean?"

"Oh, that? Sheo saw red, stomped away looking for some long hard blunt object to use in a violent manner, found none, went into the computer laboratory and found a plastic Monoblock chair with a broken leg, grabbed the leg, stomped back out, began whacking the steel posts near him and sending his classmates running for their lives, then broke his impromptu club on a stone bench and stormed away in an angry huff. Ever since then, his classmates had been very nervous when he's seated near plastic chairs."

"–AND LONE WOLF SIX JOINING THE HAREM GAME AND BREAKING HIBIKI'S HEART BY GETTING A COMPETITOR FOR HIS AFFECTIONS!" The inhuman howl was quickly followed by the International Space Station crashing down with great force. **"_LONE WOLFIE-_CHAN_ JUST HAD TO COMPLICATE THINGS FURTHER WITH TAKANE-_SENSEI!"**

Mount Everest piled up on the earlier objects made for an interesting sight as well as shaking everyone off their feet, but its impact was nothing compared to the power of Sheo's anger at that greatest of peeves to ever be published on _fanfiction.net_: Fellow author Lone Wolf SIX joining the harem game.

Loki: "I thought he forgave Lone Wolf SIX for that digression."

Yuuki: "It comes back out every now and then when he's really pissed off."

(Nearby, Lone Wolf SIX shudders at the berserk howl and show of force. "He never will get over it…")

**_"AAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!"_****__**

The Great Wall of China appeared.

"**_KISAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_**_!__ KOROSU! **KOROSU**!"_

More random huge objects…

It seemed to take a long time, but in the short span of only ten minutes Sheo ran out of things to bitch about –not to mention unique things to drop– and was losing steam with his rants. As a final gesture of anger, he summoned a small feather that drifted slowly to fall upon the huge pile of debris and material, turning away contemptuously as the feather hit.

The resultant explosion, though contained by the author's power to a small area around Sho Tsuzuku, was roughly equal to Son Goku's _Genki__ Dama_ powered by all the spirits of the peoples in the universe, the one he used to defeat Majin Boo.

When the light died away, Sheo was breathing hard not through exertion but through having screamed his head off so long. He glared at everyone, still angry, daring them to comment. No one could meet his eyes–

No one save Yuuki Darren, who met his glare and then tenderly hugged her creator, stopping his fury as easily and effectively as water doused fire.

"I'm sorry for not trusting you," she murmured softly, meaning it. "I'm sorry for not having faith in you."

"Me, too," he whispered back quietly. "Me, too."

"Remind me never to tick him off," Rock told a wide-eyed Hotaru, who nodded in agreement. Aside, Geese considered the lack of grace and style in Sheo's attack but, on the whole, approved.

"Nothing could have survived that," Misaki murmured in awe as they watched the fiery end of Sho Tsuzuku.

That was when the super villain rose from the dying flames.

Everyone drew back. Only Sheo was unaffected, glancing over his shoulder as he did and muttering, "This might take awhile."

The super villain wiped away a tiny trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. He was smirking.

"It seems," he said, "That I must take this fight seriously now."

Then he teleported right in front of Sheo.

Sheo pushed Yuuki away into Loki's arms and safety, even as he unleashed The Will and The Word once more.

Sho Tsuzuku's fist passed through Sheo harmlessly, and the author himself disintegrated into shimmering.

"What?" Then: "An illusion!"

There were hundreds of Sheo Darrens all around, all illusions except one of them, mirror images. The entire area was so blanketed with the author's power that Sho Tsuzuku couldn't sense the point of power's origin, his usual tactic to seek out the caster when confronted with this kind of trick.

So, he simply adopted a different tactic.

He launched multiple beams of power at each and every target there was.

All of the Sheo Darrens disintegrated simultaneously.

All except one, that is: The real one.

Sheo's left hand blunted aside the beam with a powerful AT Field, his favored method of defense. The Field of Absolute Terror was an effective defensive measure, invincible against any common attack and very resistant to any other weapon or attack. However, it was also quite detectable when in action, what with the visible hexagonal ripples of yellow-white energy lines swelling from the deflected beam's impact point.

Sho Tsuzuku also happened to have a Spear of Longinus handy. He threw it at Sheo.

"Look out, Sheo!" Yuuki yelled in warning.

In response: "Protect Shade!"

The Spear of Longinus was stopped cold by the impenetrable barrier_._ The author then gestured with his protective right hand, the hand creating the force field. The Protect Shade flared as it _reflected_ the Spear of Longinus back into Sho Tsuzuku. The latter batted away the weapon casually.

"Sheo set Protect Shade to the same frequency and polarity of the Spear of Longinus." Yuuki's fists tightened upon themselves as her realization. "Just like in magnetism: Similar poles reject and repel each other."

"This example is not exactly supported by Einstein's world of physics," Sho Tsuzuku commented as he attacked again.

"You're right," coldly answered Sheo, even as he teleported and left illusions in his wake, even as he defensively threw up all kinds of energy shields and barriers and traps that his opponent took time breaking through. "But it's _my_ world. _Mine_. _My_ rules, _my_ creations, _my_ power: Everything I take for granted but which you people can't even begin to understand!"

"I will allow you that, Sheo. However," the super villain added as he came to a stop, "There is one thing about you that I _do_ understand perfectly well: Your one and only weakness."

So saying, Sho Tsuzuku revealed a pile of VCDs. Sheo glanced at them warily–

–And flinched.

"Premiere XXX OVAs starring all your favorite girl characters, all fresh out of Virra Mall Greenhills courtesy the porn vendors, my favorite people in all the world!" Sho Tsuzuku laughed as he skimmed through the summaries of the porn shows. "Ah: Threesome orgy, with Mireille and Kirika and Chloe! Tessa the victim of dominatrix Mao and Chidori! Rei, a virtual doll and poppet for all the male characters in _Evangelion_ to abuse!"

Sheo cringed.

"I do not need to describe the horror that Tomoyo is undergoing in this one, only that you need know that it might offend you– Hmm, this is interesting." Sho Tsuzuku then began describing the video contents with candidly accurate detail, and even the hardened amongst the audience were overcome with revulsion. Rock was covering Hotaru's ears and Geese did the same for Misaki, Loki was looking uncomfortable despite himself, and Yuuki was beet red with embarrassment and anger.

"Sho, you bastard! Stop it! Stop it right now or else–"

"Or else 'what', That Girl? What are you going to do?"

She would have gladly tried to throttle Sho Tsuzuku even knowing she'd die in the attempt, she was so enraged. Yuuki knew the tactic the super villain was using was practically the same one she'd used in desperation against Sheo before. That time, Sheo had been sent into a comatose state. She was afraid that this psychological attack would be worse in effect–

Then she caught the small smile that crept across Sheo's face.

"I don't need to hear any of this anymore," the author said as he straightened himself up and faced Sho Tsuzuku,. "All of those are blatant lies and exaggeration, things that never happened, products of fan boys and the demented immoral capitalist scum who cater to their desires for the by-product of human society that is cash." He smiled gamely, suddenly unaffected anymore by the sight of the porn, his will reasserting itself. "I have faith in my girls. They are and will remain beautiful to me whatsoever the time that passes and the evils that surface."

"That's a dream existence, Sheo." But it was obvious Sho Tsuzuku knew that such attacks would no longer be effective now. "Dreams are not real."

"But they will sustain me," answered Sheo cheerfully, "Even as I make them into reality.

"I hear Johnny says that I use Sho Tsuzuku tactics. Well, I'd be the first to admit I do. I never really was for martial arts fighting despite _No Regrets_. But you're spoiling for such a fight, so here's someone who can pose a match for you, Sho. Took me a while to think of him, but I think he'll suffice."

So saying, Sheo let loose the awesome power of The Will and The Word, summoning–

Everyone recoiled in shock.

–Sho Tsuzuku.

                                                                                *         *         *

            True to his words, the Wanderer did not draw his swords, believing that this was not worth the honorable contest of blades. Instead he let Johnny come at him, seemingly relaxed and unconcerned even though his body was as tense as a tightly coiled spring straining at its restraint. He ignored the calls of shock and fear over the Ultrasaurus' speakers, knew that he was alone despite them for his allies could not fire in fear of hitting him.

Johnny came at him almost imperceptibly, the man was so fast and even more so in his Mist Finer, his desperation driving him onwards and faster and harder than any taskmaster. Fingers touched the tip of his _katana_'s grip and silently screamed their fury, almost willing to take on a consciousness of their own and unleash the death-dealing blade that only two before had stopped: Takane Hibiki and her student Elde Talonn, the Wanderer who stood before him and who was to Johnny everything that he had been and everything that he could not be.

He couldn't stop himself. He just had to let it out.

"DIE!"

.

"Swordsman: On."

Dark eyes flashed.

There was a blur of black and grey.

The Wanderer acted.

.

Hitomi Barrens had taught Elde Talonn a few things. One of these lessons was that one could never always rely on a sword. "Sometimes," she said, "You must fight alone, with nothing at your side but yourself. You will be your strongest and most reliable weapon."

A second thing she and Takane Hibiki before her had taught the Swordsman was to defend his person passively with no weapon but himself.

The word _judo_ means 'the gentle way', an odd name (all martial arts aim to inflict most ungentle pain upon their foes) but appropriate given that _judo_'s focus on throws and holds makes it seem more 'gentle' than _karate_ or other comparable arts that rely more on direct blows. In the same flow of ideas was _aikido_, the fighting school that used your opponent's attack against himself.

The Wanderer deflected the Mist Finer aside with an effortless _aikido_ counter, as if he was just parrying a stick instead of a killing sword. He then sent Johnny over his shoulder, using his opponent's momentum against him.

Johnny got back on his feet, preparing for another attack. Just enough time to capitalize on the Ultrasaurus' crew's hesitance to risk hitting the Wanderer as well and do one final–

The crack of a gunshot broke the battle's unnatural silence.

Johnny stood very still, and then he looked down at his chest where blood was flowing from a hole in his body.

Yuumura Kirika was leaning out from the emergency access door on one of the Ultrasaurus' neck compartments, one hand holding on to Chloe who in turn was holding a rail that kept them from falling, the other aiming the 1932 Beretta 8mm semiautomatic pistol, cordite smoke still drifting away from the muzzle. A dead shot, she easily could have put the round into Johnny's head even from that distance and with Elde in danger, surely killing the pirate even with the relatively small round's stopping power.

But she'd learned a lot from a young man named Elde Talonn. She once regretted her inability to feel regret when she killed people, a product of her indoctrination and training during a childhood meant to remake her into the ultimate assassin, a killing machine without equal. But the death of her close friend Mireille Bouquet, and then Elde's influence and compassion, finally broke that incapacity. The tears had flown from her freely one night.

Some still remained, of course. Some never really leave.

But she realized a beautiful thing, at that.

She had a free choice in her life.

And if she could not feel regret at killing people, she realized that she need _not_ kill if that was what troubled her.

So it was that Kirika had shot Johnny in the back, not a fatal wound, but a disabling one.

But…

His _katana_ fell down to the base of the cliff, a good hundred meters or so down to the rocky ground.

Johnny fell.

He found himself hanging from the precipice by one hand –and with his injured arm, too, the arm that Mai had managed to wound earlier. Pain lanced through that arm. He could feel the rock beneath his fingers begin to crumble, his grip starting to slip –and it did.

He didn't fall.

.

The Wanderer grasped Johnny's hand tightly even as he used his free hand to bury _Astray_ into the ground as an anchor, keeping the man from falling to his death. "Give me your other hand," the Swordsman ordered tersely. "I won't let you fall."

Johnny looked into the younger man's eyes and saw the same shining idealism that he himself once had. This boy still believed despite himself. This boy sought to protect the people and things around him.

This boy was–

"I thought you didn't care anymore."

"I'm always who I was: Elde Talonn. I am always him."

And that answer told him as much.

This boy was a true hero.

Johnny smiled.

"Listen up, kid. I got a twin. He's named Johnny, too, and he's just like me –a better version of me, in fact. Find him. Have him take care of my girls for me."

The Wanderer's eyes widened. "Johnny!"

"I can't go on living like this," Johnny said softly. "Promise me, kid. Man to man. You'll find my twin and have him take care of May and all the others. If not for me–" He choked on the rather emotional words, but managed. "If not for me, do it for my girls. Please."

The pain in the Swordsman's eyes was too evident. He would never let anyone die if he could do something about it. He was a protector, a guardian of life.

But he was an honorable man to the end, a Swordsman who defended the right.

And for Johnny, this was what was right.

A wrong does not make a right.

But sometimes, it is what must happen.

"I promise."

Johnny smiled one last time.

"Tell my girls that I loved them very much."

And then he let go of the Wanderer's hand and fell.

But he was at peace.

.

It was over.

The Wanderer looked away. His predecessor would have watched, needing to know and realize and remember in a personal what had been lost and what she had been instrumental in making it so. She had to. She had to remember she was still human.

But _he_ didn't want to see.

He knew it all too well.

He has lost his first true love long ago, after all.

And so he looked away, his thoughts and heart in turmoil.

But he knew one thing for sure.

_I'll find your brother, Johnny. I'll help your girls._

_I promise._

Kirika went over to him and hugged him, knowing what he felt. For once Chloe did not break them apart as she was wont to do, understanding that they needed some time alone, setting her jealousy aside and being the better for it.

He cried into his fiancée's shoulder. He cried for what he had done and what he had not been able to do. She whispered comforting words in his ear, crying as well because she knew what he felt and also knew that sharing the pain helps to lighten it in the end.

They were, after all, alive and human.

                                                                                *         *         *

            The newcomer was tall and muscular, easily and visibly a formidable martial artist. A black cloak was draped around him, as rough and simple and sturdy as the man it clothed. His mouth was an unsmiling line and his eyes lacking nay trace of humor. His white hair did not move even as a breeze dramatically appeared to ruffle everyone's hair and chill their spines.

He was Sho Tsuzuku.

And so was the super villain standing before Sheo and the other people there.

_There are two of them?_

Yuuki stared at one and then the other, wondered if she had a fever or a hallucination from her wounds, knew she was all right despite her earlier battle.

Sho Tsuzuku was there, alright: The super villain, the black-haired Geese Howard fan she had fought just earlier.

But the other guy, the Sho Tsuzuku that Sheo summoned, looked exactly the same except he had _white_ hair and lacked the smirk. It was like he was the opposite of Evil Sho.

"There are two of them?" she moaned.

She had to think of something to differentiate the one from the other. Hence, the villain Sho was 'Evil Sho' and this new guy 'Good Sho'.

_Or could Sho Tsuzuku ever be 'good'? In Hamlet terms, 'That is the question?'_

Sheo sighed and then smiled in answer to his creation. "Not exactly. Never, to be more exact, but he'll suffice."

"So," Evil Sho drawled coolly as he stared at his doppelganger, his smirk gone for good.

"So," the other Sho –the summoned one–replied in kind.

"It took you a while to get here."

"I took the scenic route."

"I don't suppose that there are any of the others left?"

"There _aren't_. I got them all. _You_ are the last one."

"And is that supposed to intimidate me?"

"No. It was supposed to prepare you for your destruction."

"Do you really think I'd roll over and play dead for you?"

"No." The summoned Sho shouldered his cloak aside and cracked his knuckles together menacingly. "That's why I'm going to enjoy this."

Then the two Sho Tsuzukus hurtled towards each other and collided in an unbelievably powerful display of mutual anger and martial arts fighting skills. The spectacle took on a _Dragonball__ Z_-esque atmosphere, what with the lightning trade of punches and kicks and teleports that the human eye could never follow save. The two were evenly matched, so evenly that the chances of one winning were fifty-fifty, take your pick. Geese was impressed with their ferocity and power, enough to consider if he might adopt some of their simplest moves for his own use.

Meanwhile, Yuuki and Sheo were involved in a very spirited (at least on Yuuki's side) discussion.

"Sheo, why are there two of them?" _As if one wasn't bad enough…_

"It's a complex and long story."

"We don't have much time. Summarize."

"Okay." The author coughed several times and then explained. "Listen carefully. Sho Tsuzuku was never evil in the first place–"

"Right…"

"–He just was a cold-hearted asshole–"

"Now, _that,_ I can understand…"

"Knock it off. You're a harsher reviewer than Akira-_san_."

"Taka Ichiko is going to shoot you if he hears you calling his girlfriend that way."

"Are you going to let me finish?" The interruptions were raising Sheo's hackles, and the shouts and blows from the two Sho Tsuzukus' fight was not helping at all. When Yuuki nodded contritely, he continued:

"Now, from what I've gathered, something that has to do with Ranma ½ –don't ask me what it was; I've forgotten the explanation and I never asked for concrete details– had split Sho Tsuzuku into multiple beings. The original's power was decreased, evenly distributed between several versions of him as it was. Each version had his or her unique personality and driving forces. _Our_ Sho –the evil one– happened to be the 'universal domination tyrant' type and decided to fulfill his desires here, much to our misfortune.

"Meanwhile, the original Sho had been going around several worlds and dimensions, looking for his alternate versions and killing them in order to get his power back. There's only one left: Our Sho, the evil one."

"Oh, I see. You summoned the real Sho Tsuzuku to deal with him. The dimensional law about 'original character is the only one who could defeat evil version of himself' still holding?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Otherwise, I'd have dealt with Sho already."

"But what now? We can't let True Sho do all the fighting for us!" Yuuki looked over to the titanic battle between the true Sho and his alternate version worriedly. "I'm not sure we can rely on him– less so on him winning, they're so evenly matched."

Sheo looked visibly worried for the first time that he had returned. "I've got an idea from a friend of mine," he said reluctantly, remembering what he knew of his impromptu plan. "If we can't destroy Sho himself, we can probably imprison him in an eternal void he can never escape from–"

.

            **_…But Morgoth himself the Gods thrust through the Door of Night into the Timeless Void, beyond the Walls of the World…_**

**_._**

             "–I'm not sure if it will work in the fashion we need it to, but I think it can work for us."

_Or will it?_

_Can I?_

.

            _ "The Dark serves me because I _am_ The Dark." The gray man turned to Sheo, unfathomable eyes of opal black fixing upon his friend in a gaze meant both direly and reassuringly. "So it is with _It_ and _you_. It will do your bidding because _It_ is _you_._

_"Awaken, Sheo Darren. Awaken yourself from this dream._

_"Awaken to a new world…"_

_._

"Then do it." Yuuki trusted completely in him. "If _you_ believe it _can_ work, it _will_ work."

Nodding grimly, Sheo then closed his eyes and let his consciousness slip into that deep abyss of his mind, the prelude to his most powerful creation to date– and as he fell he thought he could hear a familiar voice singing a song he knew...

.
    
    _                                                                    And you don't seem to understand_
    
    _                                                                   A shame you seemed an honest man_
    
    _                                                                    And all the fears you hold so dear_
    
    _                                                                     Will turn to whisper in your ear_
    
    _                                                            And you know what they say might hurt you_
    
    _                                                                  And you know that it means so much_
    
    _                                                                      And you don't even feel a thing_
    
    _                                                                          I am falling, I am fading_
    
    _                                                                                 I have lost it all_
    
    _                                                                    And you don't seem the lying kind_
    
    _                                                                   A shame then I can read your mind_
    
    _                                                                    And all the things that I read there_
    
    _                                                                   Candle lit smile that we both share_
    
    _                                                                 And you know I don't mean to hurt you_
    
    _                                                                   But you know that it means so much_
    
    _                                                                     And you don't even feel a thing_
    
    _                                                                    I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning_
    
    _                                                                                    Help me to breathe_
    
    _                                                                           I am hurting, I have lost it all_
    
    _                                                                                         I am losing_
    
    _                                                                                   Help me to breathe…_

.

            **_So far away, something stirs._**

**_Sometimes, lost in thought, I feel like I am not myself and that the body I know as my own is not this mortal shell but something else entirely. When I feel lost in despair, when I hate the world for being so unfair when it is simply being itself –the world–, I lose myself into my imagination. I lose myself in a world I have created, a world that is mine alone._**

**_I lose myself into It._**

**_I'm not who I am._**

**_I know these feelings are not feigned. I know I am not hallucinating or insane. I know I am no Hideaki Anno, even though I'm beginning to sound like him._**

**_I know all this is true._**

**_I know It exists._**

**_I know because I made It._**

**_I know because It made me._**

**_I know because I am It._**

**_I know because I _am_._**

**_It is somewhere out there. It is as real as you and me– No. It is far more real than you or me. It is the only real thing in a world of unreality. It makes all of these real because It is real. It is all that has come in the past and all that will come in the future upon this world._**

**_It is "the world destroyer" to legend. It is the Systema Nu to its discoverers, the System of Nothingness. It is an empty shell that seeks a soul and a heart of its own. It is natural and artificial, human and divine, angel and devil, Man and God, real and unreal, Heaven or Hell. It is to a boy the realization of a life's dreams and an equivalent lifetime's nightmares._**

.

            The two massive beams of destructive energy met together in a fiery stalemate, neither of the attacks winning outright. The true Sho Tsuzuku was using both of his hands to channel his _ki_ into his attack.

Evil Sho was using only one.

He also noticed that Sheo wasn't moving or reacting at all, only standing there as if lost in a deep trance. Either he was unconscious, or the author was planning something.

_Target of opportunity, that's what he is._

Evil Sho Tsuzuku aimed his other hand at Sheo even as he held off True Sho's attack.

Then he caught sight of Yuuki.

_A more vulnerable target?_

_That's more like it…_

.

            That Girl's scream pierced through the subconscious world that Sheo was lost, snapping him out of his reverie. Automatically he flung a force field upon his companions there, even as he pulled himself away from that dark dream world and back into the real one.

Everything was going to hell.

"Yuuki!" Loki yelled.

The force field around her was starting to buckle from the beam Evil Sho Tsuzuku was hitting her with. Gathering his will to reinforce his thoughts, Sheo poured more power into Yuuki's defense, the shield firming up with the additional focus of power.

Evil Sho smiled diabolically and increased power to his attack.

The shield began to crack.

Sheo realized that Evil Sho had been staying too long in the world and had gathered enough power to fend off True Sho _and_ simultaneously threaten them. Whatever was powering the super villain, it was enough. True Sho was not powerful enough to defeat Evil Sho by himself. He was out of his element here (actually, dimension was more accurate than element; all writers are almighty in their own dimension save for Sheo, the last's reasons for doing so quite well known from previous chapters). True Sho needed Sheo's help.

But the weakness inherent to the almighty author power of The Will and The Word was that in order to make reality so, Sheo had to focus on the idea. Distracted, without focus or concentration, he could not make The Will and The Word work out to its fullest potential.

And right now, Sheo was very distracted.

"Hold on, Yuuki!" Even as he poured more and more of his will into the barrier, he was yelling at True Sho to get it over with. "Hurry up and destroy him already, Sho!"

"We are dealing with a slight difference in power here," returned the latter in a neutral tone even as he unleashed even more of his _ki_. But Evil Sho merely laughed and released a proportionate level of power to match his foe.

Sheo would have gladly disintegrated Evil Sho in body, mind, and soul, despite an aversion to killing and to exerting himself. The Will and The Word could accomplish that rather easily. The problem was that in order to do that required much concentration on his part. And right now, all he could concentrate upon was Yuuki's plight.

_One thing at a time, Sheo, _he told himself, calming his mind and heart, focusing on protecting his creation– his surrogate child.

And then he saw Yuuki looking at him and heard her say in his mind:

"Let me go."

                                                                                *         *         *

            "You are falling. You are fading. You are drowning. You are hurting. You are losing."

The girl opened her eyes.

"You will lose it all."

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Let me go."

She spoke softly and without hurry, even as all around her the shell that protected her began to crumble beneath the destroying pressure of the foe who wanted to destroy her. There was no fear in her voice. There was no resignation in her eyes. There was only acceptance– and peace.

"Let me go, Sheo."

**_No…_**

"It's the only way to save this world. You can't do it with me in the way. You have to let me go."

**_No…_**

"Sheo…"

**_No…_**

"…If you truly love someone, you know… you know you can let her go..."

**_…_**

"…because you know that if she loves you… if she truly does, she will come back to you…"

**_…_**

"Sheo…"

**_…_**

"I love you."

He hears another voice speaking those words, another's lips echoes her farewell, another soul the parallel of.

_"I love you."_

"I love you, Sheo Darren."

_"I love you, Sheo Darren._

"I love you very much…"

_"I love you very much…"_

Tears fall from his eyes and struck the ground.

"I love you, too, Yuuki. I love you very much."

Then he let her go.

Just like before…

.

            _He held her tightly within his arms, held her with such force as to deny her departure from this world by his protectively possessive embrace. He cried. He cried like he thought he'd never do anymore. He had her all to himself, and yet now she was slipping away from his world as quickly and surely as day faded into night._

_None around him dared to bring themselves between in this last moment of farewell. No one would. No one could._

_They were all alone._

_He murmured her name, plea and order and Command Voice. One's name was power. Knowing one's name granted another being power over him or her. Her name was known to him. Her name was dear to him._

_She was dear to him._

_He loved her, cared for her, wanted her, dreamed of her. She was all that he could want and wish for. She was all that he wanted and wished for._

_But even The Will and The Word cannot do all he wanted and wished it to do._

_Even he had not the power to keep her with him._

_Still he called her name, asking, praying for one last time with her._

_She opened her eyes and smiled weakly at him, caressing his face as she did, holding his hand with what remained of her strength._

_He forced himself to smile and held her hand too._

_"Journey's end it is, journeyman. I've lived life and found it happy. I've lived with you and found Heaven in you._

_"Another journey begins."_

_He weeps again, and she shushes his sobs with a touch, putting her fingers to her lips and then upon his, their final kiss._

_"Mourn not overmuch for the fallen. We move on to a new life. Only remember: The end is only a beginning._

_"Promise me that you will live. Live for me. Live for me, and I will live in you, for you and with you. Forever more."_

_"I promise," he said, meaning it. "I promise, Sylphe. I promise."_

_One final sight and sight, and then she closed her eyes, never to open them again._

_"Farewell, Sheo Darren. Farewell, the one I loved…"_

_And then she breathed her last and was gone._

_But she would never be gone from his heart and memory._

_Sylphe__ Phenomena Eternal will live forever in him, for him and with him._

_Sheo Darren._

_._

            Sheo held Yuuki tightly within his arms, held her with such force as to deny her departure from this world by his protectively possessive embrace. He cried. He cried like he thought he'd never do anymore. He had her all to himself and yet now she was slipping away from his world as quickly and surely as day faded into night.

None around him dared to bring themselves between in this last moment of farewell. No one would. No one could.

They were all alone.

He murmured her name, plea and order and Command Voice. One's name was power. Knowing one's name granted another being power over him or her. Her name was known to him. Her name was dear to him.

Yuuki was dear to him.

He loved her, cared for her, wanted her, dreamed of her. She was all that he could want and wish for. She was all that he wanted and wished for.

But even The Will and The Word cannot do all he wanted and wished it to do.

Even he had not the power to keep her with him.

Still he called her name, asking, praying for one last time with her.

She opened her eyes and smiled weakly at him, caressing his face as she did, holding his hand with what remained of her strength.

He forced himself to smile and held her hand too.

"It's over. I've lived life and found it happy. I've lived with you and found happiness in you.

"Another journey begins."

He weeps again, and she shushes his sobs with the last smile she would make as That Girl.

"Don't cry for me. We move on to a new life. Only remember: The end is only a beginning.

"Promise me that you will live. Live for me. Live for me, and I will live in you, for you and with you. Forever more."

"I promise," he said, meaning it. "I promise, Yuuki. I promise."

One final sight and sight, and then she closed her eyes, never to open them again.

"Farewell, Sheo Darren. Farewell, the one I loved…"

And then she breathed her last and was gone.

But she would never be gone from his heart and memory.

Yuuki would live forever in him, for him and with him.

Sheo Darren.

                                                                                *         *         *

_                                                                           Daisuki to omou karane_

_                                                                                    Kizutsuitari_

_                                                                                    Tomadottari_

_                                                                          Tsumetai hohowo yoseatte_

_                                                                               Kokoro ga umareta_

_                                                                                Itsumo imasuguni_

_                                                                                         Aitai_

_                                                                        Mukuchi ni naruhodo sukiyo_

_                                                                        Yasashisa dou shitara ieruno_

_                                                                         Dakishimete motto tsuyoku_

_                                                                       Atatakana mune wo shinjiruyo_

_                                                                               Sayonara solitaire_

_                                                                                     Ashita he_

.

            "_Sayonara solitaire… Ashita ne…"_

The girl reached to her heart and touched it, finding solace in that boy who dwelt within her heart even as his own shattered in grief– and his world beginning to unravel at that final breath of one dearly loved, the will that sustained it losing reason to keep it so.

Now was the time.

Now was the time to arise.

**"_Mezamete__,_ _anata__ wa shounen_…"__**

_Awaken, my dearest youth…_

**"_Mezamenasai__…"_**

_Awaken…_

"Sheo Darren."

                                                                                *         *         *

**_…Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven…_**

**_…As it was in the beginning, now and will be world without end..._**

**_…Amen…_**

                                                                                *         *         *

_            **It's not over yet.**_

                                                                                *         *         *

            Makenvalborg awakened.

            Sheo Darren awakened.

.

.

                                                                                                                                                                **  To Be Continued…**


	20. Epilogue: End

**GUILTY GEAR**

**The Wedding Night**

**The Series**

.

**Conceived and Written By:** Sheo Darren

.

**Disclaimers**

           I don't own anything here but myself, my created characters and the story itself. This is the last part of my story, an epilogue, and I hope you enjoy it –and the surprise ending. The songs mentioned here are, in the following order: _Last Regrets_ from the _Kanon_ game and _Azmari__ Image Song_ from _Chrno__ Crusade_.

.

          This chapter is dedicated to myself. I have made this all possible through hard work and imagination and dreams. May I never stop on my journey's road and may I never learn the true ending of things…

.

          Enjoy… and Farewell…

.

.

**The Wedding Night Series**

**_"All Good Things Must Come To An End…"_**

.

**Epilogue**

.

.

           Yuuki Darren yawned.

She gave the mountains of papers piled up on her desk a long look of aversion, just like the way a five year old child would regard a cauliflower/broccoli/spinach meal offered to him as a meal. Then she tipped her glasses back up the bridge of her nose and let out a long sigh.

"I should have destroyed the Ottoman Empire for developing the entire idea of the bureaucracy."

Never mind that the Allies and its own component Turkish people had destroyed the last vestiges of Ottoman rule during and after World War One; forget the fact that its original conception of the bureaucracy was well intentioned and quite successful before the rise of a level of corruption that would given local Filipino lawmakers and politicians and officials a run for their money. Yuuki wanted just one shot at those same heathens who had brought down the Byzantine Empire. Father Macayan, S.J., would have whole-heartedly supported her. The Jesuit was very protective of nature in general and trees in particular. Paper wasting –a by-product of bureaucracy– was on top of his list of heinous crimes ever committed by man.

But she was supposed to be more mature than that. She was supposed to be calm, collected, in control of her emotions. She was supposed to be able to create an army of Gears, make an archetype command Gear who had genocidal intentions and thus obliterated the whole of Japan, and egg the Corrupted Flame who was her archenemy to let his rage strengthen him, the more the better. Oh, and whacking the mighty hero of the _Guilty Gear_ game into unconsciousness with just one swat of a stick (cane, actually, but that was her original conception as an 'old' man) is way cool.

She was, after all, That Girl.

"Right…"

The problem was that she was, despite her 'immortality' (Elf-type, as in she was immortal but not invincible; she'd just died in the previous chapter, after all), very human. Thus, she was prone to human weakness as well. It was the way she was created– _scratch that_ last one, she thought angrily. She was not created this way. She became this was by lieu of her creator and peers' influences and by her own progress in developing herself as a unique being. _She_ made _herself_. _She_ was _herself_. Her creator merely gave her life, and then let her run that life whatever way she wanted.

And to tell the truth, Yuuki had done quite a good job.

But back to the problem at hand: Just as Relena Darlian before her in _Reminiscent Memories_, Yuuki just hated paperwork.

The solution?

Just as in _Reminiscent Memories: _A distraction, of course.

The door to her office swiveled open, and then closed.

"Good morning, Yuuki."

There was only one person in the world that could do that without knocking or announcing his or her presence, only one person she had granted that immense privilege.

Actually, there had been two of them. The second one automatically had such a privilege. He was her creator, after all. He had no limitations save those he imposed on himself –and a few others of special note.

But he was gone now –gone _again_, to be more accurate– and now there was only one.

Gone again, and to where, they had no idea…

Loki could see that his entrance had caused a backlash of emotional reverie for Yuuki. That Girl was doing what he'd come to call 'the thousand yard stare', seeing but not noticing, hearing but not comprehending. 

All she could think of was the image of the man in her heart and his visage on the desk that lay before her.

"Sheo…"

                                                                                *         *         *

            Three months ago…

Sheo Darren carried the lifeless body of his creation Yuuki towards the Door of Night.

Behind them were Rock and Hotaru, Geese and Misaki, the real Sho Tsuzuku; the _Guilty Gear_ authors and surviving fighters; his whole harem, Kirika and Elde Talonn and Tessa and Rei and Chloe and all the rest.

And even Loki. He had to stay behind even though his inaction thus tore him apart in a way he'd never imagine it do to him.

He loved Yuuki.

Now she was gone forever, and he could not have her for just one last time.

.

_            "Let me go."_

_She spoke softly and without hurry, even as all around her the shell that protected her began to crumble beneath the destroying pressure of the foe who wanted to destroy her. There was no fear in her voice. There was no resignation in her eyes. There was only acceptance– and peace._

_"Let me go, Sheo."_

**_No…_**

_"It's the only way to save this world. You can't do it with me in the way. You have to let me go."_

**_No…_**

_"Sheo…"_

**_No…_**

_"…If you truly love someone, you know… you know you can let her go..."_

**_…_**

_"…because you know that if she loves you… if she truly does, she will come back to you…"_

**_…_**

_"Sheo…"_

**_…_**

_"I love you."_

_He hears another voice speaking those words, another's lips echoes her farewell, another soul the parallel of._

"I love you."

_"I love you, Sheo Darren."_

"I love you, Sheo Darren.

_"I love you very much…"_

"I love you very much…"

_Tears fall from his eyes and struck the ground._

_"I love you, too, Yuuki. I love you very much."_

_Then he let her go._

_Just like before…_

.

_            Sheo held Yuuki tightly within his arms, held her with such force as to deny her departure from this world by his protectively possessive embrace. He cried. He cried like he thought he'd never do anymore. He had her all to himself and yet now she was slipping away from his world as quickly and surely as day faded into night._

_None around him dared to bring themselves between in this last moment of farewell. No one would. No one could._

_They were all alone._

_He murmured her name, plea and order and Command Voice. One's name was power. Knowing one's name granted another being power over him or her. Her name was known to him. Her name was dear to him._

_Yuuki__ was dear to him._

_He loved her, cared for her, wanted her, dreamed of her. She was all that he could want and wish for. She was all that he wanted and wished for._

_But even The Will and The Word cannot do all he wanted and wished it to do._

_Even he had not the power to keep her with him._

_Still he called her name, asking, praying for one last time with her._

_She opened her eyes and smiled weakly at him, caressing his face as she did, holding his hand with what remained of her strength._

_He forced himself to smile and held her hand too._

_"It's over. I've lived life and found it happy. I've lived with you and found happiness in you._

_"Another journey begins."_

_He weeps again, and she shushes his sobs with the last smile she would make as That Girl._

_"Don't cry for me. We move on to a new life. Only remember: The end is only a beginning._

_"Promise me that you will live. Live for me. Live for me, and I will live in you, for you and with you. Forever more."_

_"I promise," he said, meaning it. "I promise, Yuuki. I promise."_

_One final sight and sight, and then she closed her eyes, never to open them again._

_"Farewell, Sheo Darren. Farewell, the one I loved…"_

_And then she breathed her last and was gone._

_But she would never be gone from his heart and memory._

_Yuuki__ would live forever in him, for him and with him._

_Sheo Darren._

.

_            Makenvalborg awakened._

_            Sheo Darren awakened._

.

The battle was over. Makenvalborg never appeared. It didn't have to.

It was Sheo Darren, after all.

Sheo Darren was Makenvalborg.

But all of that was past now. All that mattered now for him was the frail body in his arms, so cold, so devoid of life, so heavy. He now knew what Mary had felt in the _Pieta_, when she had cradled the dead body of her Son Jesus in her arms and wept.

But he knew his grief had no compare to hers.

Each one's grief was unique.

Each one's grief was to his or her own.

He carried Yuuki towards what would be her last abode in death, her physical presence never to perish or fade away within: The Door of Night, the gateway into the Timeless Void beyond the Walls of the World. It would mean an eternity as she was, unchanged, preserved from the ravages of time and tide.

.

**_…As it was in the beginning, now and forever will be world without end…_**

.

It was Sho Tsuzuku who said: "Why don't you bring her back to life?"

"I can't."

"Says who?"

"I do."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"So, you _can't_ bring her back. Or is it," posed Sho, "That you _can_, but you _won't_?"

"Don't bandy words with me, Sho." The author didn't turn around and didn't need to. His Voice alone was a menacing warning to heed. "I did what I needed to do. Now, let me be."

"I am not bandying words with you. I am merely examining the linguistic possibilities of the English language. And you have not done all that you need to do, or I have never been mistaken in my life."

"I can see now what 'sarcastic' and 'son of a bitch' can accomplish when paired together," snorted Rock. Hotaru shushed him.

Sheo looked back at them. His eyes were unblinking and distant.

"I can bring her back. But I shall not. I will not."

"I love her!" a furious Loki snapped at him, enraged by the knowledge that there was still hope for his beloved. "Do you think I'd let you just put her away into what darkness it is beyond that path when there's a chance she can live again? Don't you care for her? Don't you love her?"

For a long while, Sheo stood there, silent and still as Death. In his arms Yuuki never stirred.

"I love her."

"Then why?" Loki was crying. "Why?"

"Because," he said quietly, "Because I promised."

                                                                                *         *         *

            "Did you really cry?"

"Of course I did."

"It doesn't seem like you at all."

"You don't like a guy who cries?"

"No…"

She was fifteen again, but not in her magical girl form. He was in his 'demon' form, handsome in his early twenties. They were holding hands.

Yuuki finally smiled up at Loki.

"I think I live just right…"

                                                                                *         *         *

            Before them, only one person had ever gone through the Door of Night. Only one person before had ventured into the mysterious unlimited depths of that portal into darkness– and out towards light.

Now, there were two.

Sheo Darren stepped through the Door of Night, Yuuki borne in his arms.

She was cold and still in his arms. Lifeless, she was heavy as the world.

He did not care.

This was the last time he would ever hold her. This was the last time in an era that he would do so.

He stood at the very edges of that darkness before him. One step more and he would fall into it, never to return as he was, to be so profoundly changed by the passage that he might be considered an entirely new and different being.

That had happened to his friend, the first to go through the Doors and into eternity– and back.

Now this would be Yuuki's home. Forever.

He looked down at the peaceful quiet of her face, arranged a stray curl of her damp vermilion hair into place. The smile he bore was of love.

"Farewell, Yuuki Darren. Farewell."

And then he prepared to let her go.

Just like before…

.
    
    **_Arigatou_****_…_**

He froze when he heard her singing in the dark, Yuuki's small form held still in his arms both remembered and forgotten in that moment. His heart went still to hear that song, and a great aching peacefulness fell over his entire person, the power of her song over him was such.

**_Iwanaiyo_****_…_**__

The singer sang as if the darkness was the brightest of day, as if the lonely eternity of the Door of Night was the most peaceful of glens, a bowyer garden paradise

Her song was not a happy song. It was a song about last regrets, of "Thank you" kept tight within hearts and "Goodbyes" that don't have to be gloomy and stepping off and away after the dream ends.

But she was happy nevertheless.

She was happy because she had returned.

She was happy because she had returned at last to the one she loved.
    
    **_zutto_****_ shimatte oku..._**

The memories came back to him. Memories of happier times in a world different from this one, when he was nothing like what he was now and lived a totally different life, when he was merely the odd young man named Sheo Darren who lived at the house of his best friend and wrote stories and dreamed of a world far different from his own…

_._

_"Dreaming again, Sheo?"_

_"I guess so, Sylphe…"_

_._

_"My Master…"_

_"Who are you?"_

_"Sigil Armitage.__ Shiner Doll…"_

.

_"Makenvalborg…"_

.

_"My name… my name is Sheo Darren…"_
    
    .

****

**_sayonara_****_ ha kagerinai_**

**_yume_****_ no ato shizuka ni oritatsu_**

He had thought it all gone when she had died. He had thought his second chance at it was all gone when Yuuki died. He knew all the girls he liked and protected and cared for could never amount to even a shadow of them.

He thought he could never be truly happy ever again.

He was wrong.

And thank God he was wrong.

**_ryouteni_****_ ha furisosogu kakera wo_**

**_itsumademo_****_ itsumademo daite…_**

He knew that song.

He knew that voice.
    
    He knew her.

**_saiko_****_ made waratteru tsuyosa wo…_**

She lived.

**_mou_****_… shitteita…_**

****

"_Mou__… nakanai…"_

He opened his eyes.

Sylphe Phenomena Eternal smiled at him.

"Hello, Sheo Darren. Hello once more."

                                                                                *         *         *

            When Yuuki woke up, it was to find Loki smiling and crying while he held her in his arms. All the others were there, even the real –she assumed it was the real one, since everyone was ignoring him– Sho Tsuzuku who was smirking as usual and an annoyance by just being present there.

"_Tadaima_, Yuuki-_chan__._ _Tadaima_."

She saw Sheo standing at the edge of the crowd, and when he caught her look her creator broke into a small smile and nodded.

Yuuki gasped.

He turned away and began walking towards the Door of Night.

"Sheo!"

He stopped within arm's reach of the door. He turned back to her and to everyone else.

"Where are you going?" she asked breathlessly, afraid all of a sudden.

He was smiling that quietly content smile that scared her so. "Somewhere," he said enigmatically.

"Where? Where exactly?"

Sheo looked away. "I don't know myself exactly where. But I'm sure I'll get there."

"But why?"

"I brought you back from the dead." There was deep sadness behind that smile. "In return, _she_ left…"

_She left me again…_

"I have to find her. I have to go to her," Sheo repeated to himself as much to everyone else. "I have to be with her. I have to. I have to."

"You're just going to just leave us?"

"We never leave for good, Yuuki-_chan_." He smiled. "We never do."

Yuuki was crying.

Sheo hugged her. "Be good for me, will you? Promise me. Take care of this world for me. You're the one I'm trusting with this. Take care of all the girls." He said _the_ girls, not _my_ girls as he was wont to do. That made many of them cry because they felt that Sheo was leaving for good. "Make sure Bridget and May don't break up, and remember to mess up TRUE Unknown every now and then."

"Hey," protested the GG author in question.

He turned to Lone Wolf SIX. "Keep Takane-_sensei _happy, Lone Wolf. Or else I might just get legal on you."

"I'd never dream to do otherwise," Lone Wolf said. "Take care of yourself, buddy."

"I will, friend." Sheo turned to Loki. "You know our deal, right?"

"Right," Loki returned.

And then he turned back to Yuuki. "And you, Yuuki? What do you say?"

She wiped away her tears and nodded.

"I will."

He smiled.

He kissed Yuuki on the forehead one last time, put her into Loki's arm, gave everyone one final nod of goodbye, and turned back towards the Door of Night.

_"Awaken to a new world…"_

"Sylphe," he murmured.

And then Sheo Darren stepped through the Door of Night.

But he never left.

_We never do…_

                                                                                *         *         *

            "You should take a break, Yuuki-_chan_."

"I've got lots of things to do," was her distracted protest.

"No, you don't," he replied patiently.

"Millia and Venom need to be paired up–"

"They can wait."

"–And then I have to do Zappa and S-Ko–

"It'll take a while to get there."

"–And who the heck am I supposed to pair with Potemkin?"

"Yuuki-_chan_?"

"_Hai__,_ Loki-_kun?"___

"Shut up," Loki told her affectionately.

Yuuki smiled foxily at him. "Make me."

He did. He kissed her.

They took a good time of doing it. They didn't seem to even try to breathe anymore or care about breathing. They even broke the Guiness World Record for longest passionate kissing while doing it.

When it ended, Yuuki smiled and beamed, "_Baka__ Loki-_kun…"

"Always was your idiot," he told her happily.

They were just about to kiss again when the intercom rang.

"Ignore it," Loki murmured in her ears while nibbling at them. She smiled impishly in agreement.

"Of course."

The intercom rang again, interrupting their private moment together even as they had just resumed it.

"If it rings one more time," growled Yuuki, much to Loki's amusement, "It is going to get it…"

"You _have_ to get it, _anata-chan_," he told her affectionately.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you _do_."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Don't."

"Stop trying to trick me."

"Would I ever try to trick you, Yuuki-_chan_?"

She grinned. "Never."

They were going to kiss again.

The intercom rang for the third time.

Suppressing a curse, That Girl went over to hit and hit the red button. "This had better be good," she said very coldly, even watching the subtly delighted Loki enjoy her barely restrained state of annoyance. Her fiancé always had had some really weird sense of humor.

The dispatcher on the PA probably knew about what she had just cut short– and sounded really sorry for doing so. "Sorry, ma'am. We'd just like to report to you that we now have the latest developments on _Revolution_. We thought you'd like to know."

That did not stop her from giggling to her companions on the command bridge, who also shared knowing smiles at what their colleague was gesturing about.

_At it again, huh?_

Nene Romanova, Celtic Midori and the SDF trio of 'bridge bunnies' all broke into giggles at the thought of Loki 'Casanova-ing' their boss.

Yuuki frowned and wondered just how Gendo Ikari kept his subordinates quiet yet loyal. She decided to ignore their laughter, though. There were more important things to deal with than annoying flunkies.

There was a new fighting tournament in town. A mysterious person named Zofeah had appeared just recently. There was no background documentation on this character, least of all any recorded relation to _Guilty Gear_ or _SNK._ Despite this, Zofeah had announced and held a new _Guilty Gear/SNK _fighting tournament, _Revolution_. Already some fighters had already tangled with each other, some winning and some losing, some fights disrupted because of external interference.

New teams were being formed: Bridget was hooked up with the Hokage ninjas Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura, but had last been seen meeting the girl named Malin. May had for all reports tagged along Yagami Iori, of all people. The Wanderer had left word that he was joining up with Lone Wolf SIX and his teacher Takane Hibiki for a while. And the _Saiyuki_ bunch was hanging out with Dizzy, Hotaru, Rock and Ky.

Worse news followed. ZEPP was reportedly under attack by NESTS; the attack had been halted but heavy fighting was still going on at several sectors of the aerial colony/fortress/nation. Mass-produced Robo Ky units had been detected infiltrating cities and military bases. There had even been confirmed sightings at Russia of Kusanagi # 102796, the most powerful and feared of the evil Kyo clones created by NESTS.

And in one of the most disturbing of all reports…

Orbital satellites had detected immense energy emissions from the Magnolia Village. Not just once, but twice. The nature of the energy fluxes were determined to be massive fluctuations in Timespace, when energy from the dimensional plane itself had been invoked. The exact timing of these fluxes was pretty well recorded: All timekeeping equipment in the area of effect of the power had malfunctioned and shut down at the exact moment it was triggered.

What was even more puzzling was that at slightly before the second explosion of power at Magnolia, a disturbance of a different nature took place. A dimensional rift –in essence a door between dimensions– had opened. Whoever it had disgorged was pretty formidable, thought no hard evidence on the latest was available as of now.

Surprisingly, _GVS_ author Lone Wolf SIX had nothing to do with the new contest, let alone all the trouble. In fact, he was on the list of the invited fighters.

Yuuki knew that very wall.

Her name was on it, too.

And so was Sheo Darren.

But no one knew yet that Sheo was gone for good… or at least for the foreseeable future.

Yuuki had seen to that very well.

In her experience and opinion, 'mysterious new beings' usually meant trouble, often of the worst kind. She'd had very good experience with such; after all, it had only been several short months since Sho Tsuzuku had 'killed' her.

So, in order to give such evil beings a second thought, she brought Sheo Darren back.

In a fashion, that is…

.

            He was supposed to be Sheo Darren to all who knew him. He didn't look exactly _like_ the author. He looked exactly _as_ the author himself did. He even acted as the original did.

But his true name was Rheo Farren, a name Yuuki had plagiarized from TRUE Unknown. He was not Sheo, not at all.

He was a clone, a Half Gear, carefully created to look and think and act and feel exactly like Sheo. He even had a limited version of The Will and The Word.

His mission was to perpetuate the illusion that Sheo had returned. In effect, he was supposed to be Sheo.

But he could never be Sheo.

He knew that himself very well.

.

            "We need more information. I have to investigate this tournament and this Zofeah. When I hear this guy's name, shades of Sho Tsuzuku keep appearing in my mind."

"That is understandable."

"What's not understandable is that I have to break our date for tonight," she regretted. "Sorry, Loki-_kun_. I was looking forward to it, after all the busy hours at work– and then this."

"And ignore the world you've promised to take care of for Sheo?" Loki gestured magnificently. "You have a greater duty than to me, Yuuki-_chan__. _Don't let me get in the way when duty truly needs you.

"Besides," he added mischievously, "This investigation looks more interesting than a date."

She grinned, her boyfriend always the Norse prankster god of night at heart despite himself. "Then consider this our date?"

"Gladly."

Yuuki left instructions for Rheo to be informed of her absence and asked Ayanami Rei to guide the Half Gear

She touched the picture on her table with fondness and murmured, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

Then Yuuki left with Loki in tow. The door closed. The light turned off. The picture was left all alone.

But she didn't leave, not at all.

We never do.

.

            The picture stands alone on the desk, but not forgotten.

It is of Sheo Darren.

                                                                                *         *         *

            Lost in the depths of eternity, she stirs for a moment. Awoken for a fleeting second, she remembers her life and her duty, one and the same, dedicated to one young man. Her world and existence revolved around him. She had eyes and ears and heart and mind and soul only for him.

_"My Master… Sheo Darren…"_

But for a while longer, she sleeps.

Sigil Armitage sleeps.

                                                                                *         *         *

_                                                                     Star of __Bethlehem__, Star on high_

_                                                                    Miracle of love of __midnight__ sign_

_                                                                  Let your luminous light from heaven_

_                                                                                 Enter our hearts_

_                                                                      Star of happiness, Star of wonder_

_                                                                         You see everything from afar_

_                                                                              Oh light oh holy light_

_                                                                                   Oh light divine_

.

            "Arise, ye beloved who sleeps. A new world awaits you. A new saga beckons.

"The eternal journey begins once more.

"Awaken, Journeyman."

Sylphe Phenomena Eternal opens her eyes.

"Awaken, Sheo Darren."

                                                                                *         *         *

            So far away, a heart beats.

Eyes open into the light.

He awakes.

                                                                                                                                                                         **The End…**

                                                                                                                                                 **…But Also A Beginning…**

.

.

**Sheo's**** Last Words**

           This is the last chapter of _The Wedding Night 2_. This is my serialized first fan fiction to be finished (the first _TWN_ was a one-shot). It's been a pleasure to write prologue, thirteen chapters (including one chapter with five parts) and epilogue in six months and to watch all the reviews pile up. I love reviews.

           Ending something is quite painful and hard. Ending something so fun and happy for you is extremely so. But writing this sometimes comes rather hard. The story itself had digressed from its original purpose of crazy humor. It's taken a dark edge (too dark for some, too light for one person especially– and yes, I mean you, S.T. ^_^), characters have died, Yuuki and all the people here and even Sheo had to sacrifice a lot just for the world to stay as it is. I've even messed up Lone Wolf SIX's reality without trying, not that he minds, but it just shows how much effect a couple of thousand words or so can have on people. We change the world without realizing it.

           I've poured myself into this work. Not just my efforts; I've poured in so many original concepts: Sheo, Sylphe, Sigil, Makenvalborg and so many others. They're all my original concepts from my original stories. They're my work, my life as an author and conceptualist and all that comes with the role. (Don't you dare plagiarize them; my brother knows a lot of hackers, and he answers to me, and I'm quite malevolent when it comes to protecting my own ideas. You can use then, though you should get my permission first ^_^.) They are me, much more than I am myself.

           They are me.

           In a sense, thus, this story is me.

           I am my story.

           This final chapter is dedicated to the following people:

           **Rocky, Jon Jon, Sam, Arthur, Baluca, Jer, Kiko, Butch and all the Roen gang**, for providing me with much of the insanity I put in this fan fiction; most of my reviews; and letting me deck you up one side and then the other as your insert characters. Yes, yes, Rocky, I know you are disappointed. I found I couldn't dwell on the fight scenes anymore, so I skipped them for this final story. _Sori__ talaga; _but you have your own story where you can mess me up all you want as revenge ^_^.

           **Lone Wolf SIX**, for being such a nice guy even though you just _had_ to get Cassandra as well when you already had Takane-_sensei_ for a girlfriend –but I digress: Again, thanks for letting me shamelessly pirate your fan fiction. You're the first Internet friend I've ever made; I hope I remain your friend forever more.

           **Blackheart ZERO, TRUE Unknown, Person with many aliases, Sir G, Kaiser Ryouga II, Athena Asamiya, Chisaii404, Michiku and Nik Hasta** for plagiarized material and insert appearances and the fan fiction and reviews I so love. Keep on following and reviewing, please!

           All the gaming companies and anime companies I've messed up: Sony, Sega, Arc System Works, Sammy, Team Ninja and the like: I'm so sorry! Please don't sue me!

           Finally, I dedicate the last words to myself: Sheo. Farewell. It's been quite a romp through this world you've created, but all good things must end.

           But they never said those good things couldn't come back!

           I'm working on a sequel right now –its current name is _Guilty Gear: The World Within And Without_, but I've got a number of other stuff to deal with. Refer to my biography section for updated details and tentative schedules of release.

           Until then: _Maraming__ salamat po sa inyong lahat! _

.

                                                                                                                                                                          **Sheo Darren**


End file.
